Death Becomes Her: The Changing Demographics of Funeral Service Practitioners

4/22/2025

The history of funeral service practice is male dominated. Most of our initial undertakers were owners and operators, purveyors, proprietors. They were livery stable owners and operators. They were financiers. When we think about history, though, it’s important for us to understand that is the recorded history in our history textbooks, which might not have been penned by a woman.

The lack of female perspective in some of our history texts—and in general—is well documented. We do have individuals who are putting out new history books from a different lens that doesn’t necessarily end up being a White male-dominated view of the past. As we begin to look at how things were well before the 1900s, I hope we can recall that women were the primary caretakers. They were the ones that were as familiar with the cradle as the grave. They were there as midwives and nurses, helping with the birthing of our next generation. And they were there in sickness and in death to take care of the remains. Of course, the gentlemen were also there to provide the caskets and the transportation or the coffins at the time. But it’s important for us to understand “her story” in history.

My Story

I was a teenager fresh out of high school when I began working at a mortuary-cemetery-crematory-flower shop combination. It was owned by a family that had it for three generations. My typical daily schedule began in the afternoon, because I went to school during the day. You were registered as an apprentice or an intern or a trainee, and it took us about 12 months to get through a program.

This was back in the late eighties, early nineties, and it was not uncommon that we would be in class from 7 to 3 and at work from 3 to midnight. Weekends, holidays, evenings. We were on call. That was the way we were groomed for professional practice, understanding that our lives took second stage to what was the main show—and the main show was caring for the grieving families.

I was one of four women in class at the time and most of them were legacies. You recognized their last names because they were on the side of buildings. You saw that they had this perspective—that it was a grooming, if you will, and they didn’t have a choice. They were going to take over the family business. Some of them were rather reluctant to ascend to that type of position, yet it was an expectation from their family. Now my classroom is 90%+ women—and the men who identify as such were not assigned male at birth.

Why Now?

So—why are we just recognizing the influence or impact or influx of women now? It might be because the number of women find it—post-pandemic—now viable to balance work and life and not have to pack up and move away to go to school. They can do it from their living room on their laptop. Now is the opportunity for so many individuals who were transitioned away from their primary job because of the pandemic and are now looking for something that is rewarding and stable as a second career.

These might be our former nurses who were frontline during the pandemic and have decided now is the time for them to migrate somewhere away from hospitals. It’s our social workers. It’s our police officers. It’s our firefighters. All of those that may have been in a caregiving role that have been called to funeral service.

I think the pandemic was the best thing to illuminate what deathcare professionals do in our communities, because it put us on the evening news every night as to what was being done to help those families that had suffered so much loss in such a short period of time. But at the same time, there’s a host of gender politics that go right in line with that gender gap.

We found that the burden of a second shift, working all day and then caring for family members, fell primarily to women. That has been historical. As they’ve taken on roles outside of the home, women are still expected to maintain the home. Hopefully, as we begin to see more diversity and equity and inclusion in our workforce, the responsibility for both home and family and work becomes more equally distributed and equitable.

The Student Population

We are an intersection of everything that we have done, that we have been exposed to and that we continue to do. So how is this going to impact the way you treat your applicants and your employees?

I hope that you are looking for an employee that wants and has a significant desire to make an impact. And then I hope that you see within yourself a need to mentor the next generation.

No longer are we at the point where 5% of our population of practitioners is women. We’re now more than 40% — and we have a strong desire to comfort the grieving families that come to us. We recognize that there’s an increase in cremation, but it comes with additional celebration and an opportunity for innovation, because we are no longer tied as individuals to being a second generation, a third generation, or the succession plan that our family had.

We women don’t have the same level of expectation for ourselves. We don’t have the same level of burden thrust upon our shoulders from our fathers, our grandfathers, our mothers, our grandmothers. We do things differently. And this is why women are such a natural for funeral service practice. We are innovators, we are revolutionaries, we are here, and we’re so glad that we have the opportunity.

What Graduates Want vs. What Employers Offer

There is a gap between expectations of our graduates and what our providers are willing to give. Here are some of the things that our graduates want. Flexibility. They do not want that schedule that I had: three to midnight, weekends, holidays, after hours. They want a work-life balance.

They want someone that is as interested in the graduate’s own learning and development as they are with the development of their business. They want financial well-being. They want benefits to be offered, but not the benefits that the traditional employee may have wanted. They’re not looking for a retirement per se, but they do want a cafeteria plan.

They want to make sure that the mission of the funeral home and the owners and the managers match the mission and values that they bring. But more than anything, graduates want to be recognized for the skills that they bring to us that might be earned outside of a classroom environment: for what they’ve experienced, for the innovation that is within them, and being willing to collaborate with them in that regard.

They’re not just looking at their paycheck. They’re looking at everything that embodies the work-life experience. They want an owner or a manager that understands that balance and walks it themselves. They want an owner and manager that communicates the importance of unplugging from digital technologies. They don’t want to be bothered on their days off. They don’t want to answer texts at 6 o’clock in the morning. They want individuals that are held in high regard, and they do think of you as their mentors. Whether or not you have opted for that title, they have superimposed it on you. They want to see their manager taking time away from work and enjoying that work-life balance.

They are diverse. They expect equity. They want to be included and they do not take “It’s the way we’ve always done it” as an answer—and they certainly want to overcome the biases that we may have on them being younger and possibly not knowing how we do things because they have found a way to do it better. Our next generation wants to make sure that the mission of the funeral establishment aligns with their values.

Focus on volunteerism, philanthropy, and service above self, because that’s where they’re coming from. And then of course, on the compensation package, because that’s the one area we commonly hear that funeral service is lacking in. They’re not compensating appropriately for the level of engagement and education and experience requirements.

Full time to them is not 40 hours a week. Full time to them is engagement of the brain. They will constantly be engaged, yet they might not be at work. So what are we doing to offer them a benefit package that not only has the appropriate wage but also includes fringe benefits, like student loan repayment programs or flexible spending accounts?

Our students and applicants are compassionate individuals that believe that they should be judged not on their appearance, but on their conduct and demeanor. And they are professionals in that regard. They want to be recognized and respected for their contributions and applauded for what they give.

Thanking them at the end of the day for the work that they’ve done might seem so superficial and yet, they need to hear “You did a good job. I appreciate that you were here and I really hope you’ll come back tomorrow.” When they are in an environment where they do not feel that level of support and appreciation, they’ll be the first ones to ghost you. Gone. They found another position and they do not feel beholden to a two-week notice.

Historically, we expected individuals to have family ties to funeral service. That’s not true today. In such an amazing way, you have people that are coming into funeral service because they have a fire within them, compassion at their core, and they want to make a difference. They don’t feel obligated to hold the family tradition. They want into our ranks, but they’re women who haven’t historically been in our space.

“Where are our applicants? I can’t seem to find any applicants.” Trust me, they’re there. The problem is—are you ready to meet them where they are? Because they are willing to change the world and they are ripe for what funeral service brings next.

This article was excerpted from an article of the same title, published in Vol. 60, Issue 4 of The Cremationist. Members can log in to read the full article, including the data on current graduation rates and more suggestions for supporting new hires. Not a member yet? Join now for just $539 for your company and see all that CANA has to offer!

Jolena Grande, CFSP, has more than 30 years of professional practice as a California-licensed funeral director, embalmer, cemetery manager, and crematory manager. Beginning her funeral service career in 1989 working for a large mortuary/cemetery combination operation in Southern California, she is also a longtime faculty member in the Mortuary Science Department at Cypress College where she has served as an instructor since 1995. She serves on various committees with the California Funeral Directors Association, is the current secretary of the National Associated Colleges of Mortuary Science, and immediate past president of the American Board of Funeral Service Education. She is also involved with the California Department of Consumer Affairs Cemetery and Funeral Bureau Advisory Committee and is an item writer for the International Conference of Funeral Service Examining Boards.

The Deathcare Superconference: A Turning Point in the Future of Deathcare

4/4/2025

From September 16-18, 2024, four groups came together to hold the first-ever Deathcare Superconference. Jointly hosted by the Funeral Consumers Alliance (FCA), National Home Funeral Alliance (NHFA), National End-of-Life Doula Alliance (NEDA) and People's Memorial Association (PMA), this event welcomed more than 100 attendees from across death care in all its forms: embalmers, funeral directors, death doulas, cremationists, end-of-life medical professionals, cemeterians, grief care providers and more!

The 2024 Deathcare Superconference in Seattle was more than just another industry event—it was the culmination of an evolving conversation that began in an airport and carried into the heart of the Pacific Northwest this past September. This event marked a pivotal moment in deathcare, as the rise of death doulas and community deathcare groups is challenging the traditional landscape of funeral services. With recent legal cases and potential changes to federal regulations placing a spotlight on the industry, we find ourselves at a crossroads—a moment of both disruption and opportunity.

We are witnessing a shift from the "old guard" to the "new guard," a transformation that demands careful thought and collaboration. At its core, the conference was about unification. This is not a battle of opposing sides but rather an invitation to come together to shape the future of deathcare in a way that honors history while embracing innovation.

A Conference Born from Collaboration

The idea for the 2024 Superconference took shape over a year ago when representatives from various deathcare nonprofits began meeting regularly. We recognized that too often, we were working in silos, despite overlapping missions and goals. Our vision for the conference was to create a space where diverse voices—attendees and speakers alike—could engage in discussions about the most pressing issues in deathcare today. Topics included legal challenges, affordability, diversity, equity, inclusion (DEI), and innovative models of care.

Rather than just talk about change, we aimed to present real-life examples of organizations putting these principles into practice. The event served not just as a symposium but as an incubator for ideas that will be put into action in the coming years. With plans to hold the Superconference biennially, the intervening years will serve as a time for implementation, evaluation, and continued dialogue.

Key Takeaways from the Superconference

As one of the planners of the event, I embraced my role as an active listener to this movement—one committed to practical solutions, not just ideas. Among the many thought-provoking discussions, two stood out as particularly impactful to help bridge the gap between tradition and transformation:

Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) in Deathcare: DEI is more than just a buzzword; it’s an essential part of serving families with dignity. In addition to cultural competency, accessibility must be prioritized. Something as simple as providing captions during discussions or ensuring that materials are available in multiple languages can make a difference.
Culturally competent care that acknowledges the diverse traditions and rituals of the families we serve. True inclusivity requires us to go beyond performative actions and embed these principles into the core of our business practices. This conversation is not about displacing anyone but about making room for all.
Legal Challenges and the Future of Regulation: One of the most powerful moments of the conference was the discussion on legal challenges in the industry. A key takeaway was the reminder that, despite different perspectives, we are united by our commitment to serving families and communities by advocating for policies that embrace inclusive end-of-life options. As laws evolve and regulations shift, we must navigate these changes together with mutual respect. There is room for everyone at the table, and collaboration is the key to ensuring consumer rights and professional integrity.

Keeping the Conversation Alive

The Deathcare Superconference was not just an event, it was the beginning of an ongoing movement. To keep the momentum going, we encourage deathcare professionals, advocates, and anyone invested in the future of this field to take action:

Access the Recordings: If you missed the live sessions, recordings are available to hear these valuable discussions and make sure they reach a broader audience.
Engage as an Active Listener: Whether you're a seasoned funeral director or new to the space, listening to a diverse range of perspectives and remain open to evolving practices that prioritize compassionate and ethical care as the industry evolves.
Here’s a few perspectives that offer ideas and solutions that I’ve been engaging with to get you thinking: Compassion & Choices nonprofit organization; Ben Field, Attorney at Institute for Justice; Joél Simone Maldonado, The Grave Woman; Tanya Marsh, JD, Senior Associate Dean for Academic Affairs and Professor of Law at Wake Forest University School of Law; Joyal Mulheron, Founder & Executive Director, Evermore
Advocate for Change: Whether through joining one of the hosting organizations (NEDA, NHFA, PMA, and FCA), implementing more inclusive service offerings, or advocating for policy advancements, your voice matters and there’s a spot for you at the table to join the discussion as we shape the future of deathcare.

The Deathcare Superconference was a launchpad for high-level discussions, but its true success will be measured by the actions we take moving forward. By working together, embracing change, and advocating for ethical and inclusive practices, we can create a more compassionate and sustainable future for a more inclusive, accessible, and consumer-focused deathcare landscape.

If you're interested in exploring topics in cultural competency, consider the Multicultural Death and Grief Care Academy from Joél Simone Maldonado. CANA Members receive a 20% discount on four training series that provide culturally inclusive education for end-of-life, death and grief care to ensure that every farewell is met with dignity, respect, and the deep honor that every life and culture deserves.

Members: claim your code in the Member Portal or contact CANA at 312-245-1077 or [email protected] for more information. Not a member yet? See all the benefits that membership provides and join today for just $539 for the entire firm!

Ashley Johnson, President of the National End-of-Life Doula Alliance, is a passionate advocate for compassionate and informed end-of-life care. A University of Florida alumna and licensed celebrant, Ashley’s journey began in a low-income neighborhood, inspiring her to address disparities in death care. With over a decade of experience in fields like forensic anthropology and whole-body donation, she founded Loyal Hands, an end-of-life doula consulting agency offering education, resources, and support. Ashley’s leadership extends to memberships in CANA, ICCFA, and the Florida Palliative Care Coalition, and she has served as NEDA’s board secretary since 2020. A dedicated community volunteer, she directs events like "Get Your Rear in Gear" for colon cancer awareness and contributes to PsychArmor’s veteran care initiatives. With a Nonprofit Management Certificate and roles with Compassion & Choices, Ashley is a TEDx speaker committed to equity and inclusivity in end-of-life care.

Death Becomes Her: The Changing Demographics of Funeral Service Practitioners

My Story

Why Now?

The Student Population

What Graduates Want vs. What Employers Offer

The Deathcare Superconference: A Turning Point in the Future of Deathcare

A Conference Born from Collaboration

Key Takeaways from the Superconference

Keeping the Conversation Alive

The Cremation Logs Blog

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