Maintaining a Beginner’s Mindset

5/21/2025

I may be new to the deathcare industry, but over the past 25+ years, working in multiple industries and leading teams across 10 functional areas, I’ve experienced tremendous success, learned some lessons from a few setbacks, and gained some valuable skills and experiences along the way. As I cross the 100-day mark in my journey as CEO of Foundation Partners Group, it’s a good time to reflect on all that that I’ve learned about the deathcare industry, the people and the road ahead.

I attribute much of my past success to what the Zen Buddhists call Shoshin, a Japanese term that translates as the “beginner’s mind,” based on the teachings of Shunryu Suzuki in his classic book, Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind. It’s the idea that when you’re new to something and don’t know much about it, you adopt a unique mindset, free from preconceptions and expectations, and filled with curiosity. Experience is a wonderful thing. It often helps us do things at a higher level; but knowledge and understanding of how things work can prevent us from seeing clearly what’s possible. A beginner’s mind means having a healthy dose of intellectual humility and an open mind to receive new information.

I’ve spent the past three months traveling around the country visiting with our regional and support center teams, listening to customers, partners and former funeral business owners. I am extremely impressed with the sense of purpose, passion and professionalism of our funeral home teams, for whom service is a true calling. Getting out to listen and learn from those who’ve been successful in this profession also is helping me understand “why” we do the things we do at Foundation Partners. I’ve asked questions, listened to responses and posed follow-up questions to further understand and “turn” the prism a bit to get people to see things in a different way.

What I’ve learned is that our operations, business model and our industry are ripe for transformation. But organizations don’t change in a sustainable way until people do, so leadership matters. My leadership approach is to inspire people both individually and collectively as a team, to empower and unleash their greatness to achieve extraordinary results. Change is constant and expected in today’s world, and my role is to see around corners and guide our organization to new growth areas.

The past few months have been extremely rewarding, and I am resolved to maintain my “beginner’s mindset” as I apply all that I’ve learned and will continue to learn from the career funeral service professionals around me. Here are five takeaways from these first 100 days:

1. Put your people first

We’re in a service business and you can’t be successful if your team members are not excited, energized and leaning into their work. Set the tone by defining and communicating your organization’s mission and values and demonstrate them in your actions every day. Empower your team members by investing in training, better systems and tools to deliver a better experience—for them and for the families you serve. For example, at Foundation Partners, we’re transitioning to a new, more user-friendly online learning portal, which will offer leadership and position training courses for career growth, providing team members with more resources to succeed. If yours is a smaller firm, take advantage of the great online and in-person training available through CANA and other professional organizations.

2. Listen and ask questions

Communication is a two-way street. Keep the lines of communication open at all levels of your organization. The best ideas come from the people on the front lines. I’ve asked team members at across our organization, “If we do this, how will it impact your world?” I may not be able to implement all their suggestions but giving them space to express their points of view will help win their buy-in to our final course of action.

3. Solicit team feedback and act on it

We’ve launched programs to listen to and act on team feedback—because it’s impossible to build a customer-centric winning culture if your team doesn’t buy in. Our commitment to engagement is rooted in our efforts to maximize discretionary effort, which starts with honest everyday conversations – leaders being both visible and accessible to have conversations with the team. In addition, we have an annual team member survey that gives our team members a voice and offers valuable insights that help guide our leaders to address wins, opportunities and concerns our team may express.

4. Measure everything you do by asking one simple question:

How will it improve the customer experience?

Whether it’s exploring all a family’s options in a preneed conference or walking a family through difficult at-need decisions, we need to listen to what families want, understand what’s possible with our varied service and product offerings, and tailor a personalized experience that exceeds their expectations.

5. Use language to help create the culture you want

Words matter. Do you have employees or team members? The term “employee” is very contractual. Employees fulfill their individual duties and responsibilities and receive salaries and benefits in return. Team members, on the other hand, are driven by a common sense of purpose, interdependency and a sense of community beyond one’s individual role.

In the end, to sustain lasting change, it’s all about mindsets, skillsets and toolsets. Changing mindsets, which requires clarity around the “why,” is the first step on the transformation journey. Then it’s about developing new skillsets and providing the right toolsets to enable people to embrace change and be energized about what’s possible. People tend to be afraid of change, but once they understand the “why”, and how it impacts them they are open to it. When you listen and take action, you can foster a culture in which every team member feels valued, inspired and engaged to serve families in new and meaningful ways.

John D. Smith was named CEO of Foundation Partners Group in January 2025. He oversees the company’s long-term growth strategy, vision, talent and culture, establishing Foundation Partners as an innovative leader in the industry. He brings over 30 years of branded consumer experience delivering accelerated growth, operational excellence, service and cultural transformation. John can be reached at [email protected].

Why Listening Is the Most Powerful Skill in the Arrangement Room

5/5/2025

When we think about improving arrangement conferences, most people jump straight to forms, pricing or merchandise. But the most overlooked—and arguably most powerful—tool is something much simpler: listening.

I’m not talking about the passive kind of listening, where you nod along while mentally running through your to-do list. I’m talking about intentional, engaged, active listening—the kind that builds trust and reveals the emotional undercurrents families aren’t always ready to say out loud.

That’s what transforms a transactional meeting into a meaningful experience.

Listening Isn’t Just Polite; It’s Strategic

You’ve probably sat through at least one arrangement that didn’t go as planned. I certainly have.

Early in my career, I met with a couple for a prearrangement. I made small talk, noted their hobbies and bonded with the husband—football, hunting, the works. I thought we were sailing smoothly.

Except we weren’t.

He joked he just wanted to be “burned and thrown in the backyard.” She wanted a full Mass and burial. I heard their words but didn’t really listen. I didn’t catch the tension, misalignment and heartbreak waiting to be uncovered.

When she broke down crying at the end of the meeting, I realized I had failed her.

That moment became my turning point.

Prepare to Hear What’s Not Being Said

Strong arrangement skills aren’t just about what you say; they’re about how you listen. Before every conference, get yourself in the right mindset. This isn’t just another form to fill out. This is someone’s grief, someone’s love, someone’s final chance to honor a life.

Build trust early. Look through photos together. Ask open-ended questions. Repeat back what you hear to confirm you’re understanding their wishes.

Ask things like:

“Can you tell me about your loved one?”
“Have you ever planned a funeral before?”
“What matters most to your family right now?”

These are not only rapport-building techniques, but also your roadmap.

Listening Creates Clarity

People often walk into an arrangement without knowing what they want. They’re grieving, confused and sometimes overwhelmed by decisions. By listening closely and showing you understand, you help them discover their preferences—not just express them.

When families feel heard, they’re more confident in their choices. They’re more likely to ask questions. They’re more open to education about services they might not have known were possible.

What Listening Looks Like in Action

Active listening is eye contact, body language and slowing down your speech. It’s not finishing sentences for them or rushing to fill the silence. Silence can be incredibly revealing.

It’s recognizing that the quiet person in the corner might be the one who needs your attention most. And sometimes, it’s asking hard questions gently and respectfully to make sure you’re honoring the family’s wishes fully.

The Bottom Line

The best arrangement conferences don’t just happen. They’re built with presence, care and most importantly, active listening.

So before you polish your sales techniques or reorganize your forms, take a moment to reset. Ask yourself: “Am I ready to listen to this family?” When you are, everything else follows.

Looking for training that targets your skills in the arrangement room? As a CANA-Cremation Specialist, you'll be trained on how to reach today's consumer to meet tomorrow's demand. More than body preparation and FTC compliance, this certification focuses on communication skills, grief expressions, ethical dilemmas, and how it all comes together to show families you care. Learn more and register before the July 1 deadline.

This post features insights from Jill Lazar's recent presentation for WilbertEDU called "The Art of Active Listening and Other Ways to Build Stronger Arrangement Room Conference Skills." You can listen to a recording by contacting your local Wilbert office!

Jill Lazar is the Vice President of Business Development for Ring Ring Marketing, in addition to being a licensed Funeral Director and Certified Preplanning Consultant. In recent years, Jill has been a featured presenter at ICCFA's Dead Talks event and its international convention. She also was chosen to participate in Selected Independent Funeral Homes' Leadership Academy and is the recipient of several scholarships from the Funeral Service Foundation. Jill has extensive experience in growing preneed market share and developing strategic partnerships.