Finding Energy and Purpose Amidst the Demands of Funeral Service

Working in funeral and death-care service isn’t for the faint of heart.

Every day you show up, roll up your sleeves, and step into the most intimate and emotionally charged moments of people’s lives. The hours can be long, the demands unending, and the emotional toll heavy. From the quiet of the visitation room in the early morning to the somber notes of a final service at dusk, we carry a responsibility that few outside our profession fully grasp.

In writing my book Wake-Up Calls: A Journey of Learning to Lead and Succeed in the Funeral and Deathcare Profession, I drew on more than four decades of firsthand experience in funeral service, from working as a funeral director to owning and leading a business, and now as a coach, mentor and advocate for women in the field.

My aim?

To share not only leadership lessons, but also real strategies that every professional, whether you’re just entering the field, stepping into management, or leading a company, can use to support both your work and your well-being.

Here are some reflections and actionable tips drawn from Wake-Up Calls, especially relevant to professionals who are navigating high stress, long hours and the need to remain connected to meaning and community.

1. Recognizing the “wake-up calls” we are given

In the book, I identify pivotal moments I didn’t always want, but that forced me to grow. For example, as a young professional, the moment I received the early morning call informing me my father had died. Suddenly, I was leading a company. That call became a wake-up call, a moment when I had to ask: What kind of leader do I want to be?

For you in the funeral profession, you will face your own wake-up calls. Maybe it’s the moment you realize you’re burned out and not showing up for your family. Maybe it’s when a staffing shortage pushes you into overdrive. Maybe it’s when a family expects you to be perfect and yet you’re running on fumes.

Strategy: Carve out a quiet 10-minute window each week to ask yourself: What was my wake-up call this week? Write one sentence about it. Then ask: What do I need to do differently next week because of it?

 Holding space to reflect can turn a moment of stress into a springboard for action.

2. Guarding against burnout, achieving work-life balance in a 24/7 job

The funeral service is unique: it doesn’t stop at 5 p.m. You’re on-call, you’re needed when families are at their most vulnerable, and you’re often dealing with your own human needs on the side. As I share in the book, balancing home life and leadership was one of my greatest challenges.

Strategy: Build what I call a “boundary ritual.” Each day, pick a signal (closing your office door, switching off notifications, taking a walk) that says: My work day ends here.

Even if the call comes in, you return to that ritual afterward. It won’t erase the demands of the job, but it gives your nervous system a reset point. You reclaim a piece of yourself.

Another practical approach: rotate on-call duties thoughtfully. If you’re in a leadership role, make sure you’re not the only one absorbing all the irregular hours. Train your team, distribute the responsibility, and build in recovery days after intense service windows.

3. Leading with your head, heart and grit

One of the big themes in Wake-Up Calls is what I call the “three core muscles” of leadership: head (business acumen), heart (empathy for people), and grit (resilience when things change). In funeral service, you need all three. You’re managing logistics, finances, operations, AND you’re caring deeply for grieving families, supporting your team, and navigating staffing and competitive pressures.

Strategy for team leaders:

• Head: Schedule a monthly “business check-in” with your department or team. Review one metric (staffing, revenue, service mix) and ask: What’s going well? What needs improvement?
  
• Heart: At the end of one service each week, ask your team member: How are you doing? What do you need? Pause. Listen. Don’t rush to problem-solve every time. Sometimes people just need to be seen.
  
• Grit: Reflect on one difficult moment you faced in the past month. What lesson did you take from it? Share that lesson with your team in a short “town hall” message. Your transparency builds resilience in others.
  

4. Moving from survival to thriving

I repeatedly encourage professionals to move from just “getting through the day” to building a career and life they can sustain and love.

Women in funeral and deathcare are increasingly represented. There is a 75% graduation rate among women in 2024 from mortuary schools, yet many leave the profession early. This isn’t because they lack passion, it’s often because they lack support, leadership opportunities, and sustainable career pathways needed to thrive. This is why I founded Funeral Women Lead, to change that reality. The organization was created to advance women’s leadership, wellness, and professional growth through mentorship, education, and community. By expanding access to support networks and leadership development, we help women not only enter the profession but stay, succeed, and lead within it.

Beyond the organization, I continue this mission through my coaching work and podcast, 4 Women and a Funeral, where I join other industry leaders in honest conversations about leadership, balance, and the unique experiences of women in funeral service. These platforms allow me to reach and support more professionals, helping them navigate challenges, embrace growth, and build careers rooted in purpose and resilience.

Strategy: Identify one “stretch goal” for your career this year. It might be earning your first management role, speaking at your state association, designing a wellness program in your firm, or building a support network of peers. Write it down. Then pick one small action this week toward it and one person who can hold you accountable.

5. Remembering why this work matters

It’s easy to get bogged down by the day-to-day. But the reality is: you do the sacred work. Families rely on you. Communities rely on you. And so does the future of the profession. This is not just a job. It’s a mission of service.

When you remember the “why,” everything else shifts. You begin to work not just in funeral service, but on funeral service, which means your own growth, your team’s growth, and the profession’s growth.

One of the Most Powerful Professions

You have a demanding role. You have long hours. You have an emotional load. But you also have one of the most powerful, meaningful professions there is. And you can build a career that sustains you, supports your team, and advances the profession.

Use the strategies above. Listen for your own wake-up calls. Choose to lead with your head, your heart and your grit. And remember: you are not alone.

More from Lisa: If these words spoke to you, I invite you to continue the journey with me in Wake-Up Calls—available now at lisabaue.com/the-book. All proceeds from Wake-Up Calls benefit charitable organizations that support women.

“Wake-Up Calls is a vital read for today’s deathcare professionals. Lisa Baue draws on decades of leadership to offer a candid, forward-thinking look at the challenges we face, from staffing shortages to shifting consumer expectations. Her insights are especially timely as more women enter and shape the future of our profession. This book is an essential guide for those committed to leading with authenticity, adaptability, and purpose.” — Barbara Kemmis, CANA Executive Director

Lisa Baue is a pioneering leader in funeral service and a passionate advocate for advancing women in deathcare. As the third-generation CEO of one of the Midwest’s leading funeral, cremation, and cemetery companies, she transformed a single funeral home into a multi-location enterprise serving thousands of families annually. A licensed funeral director, educator, and national speaker, Lisa founded Your Funeral Coach in 2021 and launched Funeral Women Lead in 2024 and published her first book, Wake Up Calls, in 2025. Lisa's mission is to unleash the power of women leaders, while supporting their wellness, and influence in the profession. A past Funeral Service Foundation chair and industry influencer, she continues to mentor and inspire women shaping funeral service’s future.

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