The 25 Year Celebrant Journey

It is 1999. Doug Manning and I stood in the Dodge Auditorium at Mt. Ida College in Newton, Mass. Sitting in the seats were 50 brave people who had answered the invitation to come see this new approach to creating services that would help and heal and make a difference in the lives of grieving people. We were slightly nervous, trying this for the first time. We had put together materials, we had a flip chart—long before laptops and power point—and we had a vision. So, for three days we talked about it, shared ideas and in those moments, the Funeral Celebrant movement was born.

We Would Not Be Denied

What was the vision? That the funeral service itself needed to be the first important step in the grieving process. That the funeral service itself needed to be personalized and customized to fit the life of the person. That the funeral service itself had historically ignored or missed the needs of families who were not affiliated with a faith tradition or did not wish to have a traditional religious or liturgical experience. That the funeral service itself needed to change. Now.

The concept of Funeral Celebrants came from the experiences of Australia and New Zealand that had been utilizing Civil Celebrants in their countries for over two decades. They had found that creating one of a kind funerals was such a gift to families and a boost in business for the firms. People will come to a place that offers ears and stories and creativity and talent.

We knew that cremation was beginning to make a significant impact upon the funeral business and also knew that the statistics showed the growing number of people who were self-identifying as “nones”—people who did not identify as being religious. And that funeral service had been so engaged and tied to religious traditions that they were at a loss as to how to even offer something different to those families. So, they stood at the door and watched people walked away with the urn in the hands with no service. Not good for grieving families. Not good for funeral professionals.

We saw Celebrants as part of the answer. A different way to think about how to create and craft services. A new practice of story telling as healing. A unique approach that could transform funeral firms.

And after our first experience, we hit the road. We were a five-person family-owned publishing company in Oklahoma City, publishing Doug’s books on grief and life transitions and scheduling his speaking engagements. We had no national presence or influence. But, we would not be denied. We would pick out a few cities, book a hotel, send out information and invitations and hope that people would show up. And, sometimes they did. Sometimes they did not. It was a hard slog for a few years.

New Jersey was very first association that stood up and took the opportunity and responsibility of improving funeral service for firms and families by offering training to their members.

Following their example, soon we were being contacted by other state associations and then national associations. Since 2010, every training has been sponsored by a state, national or international association. In 2019 we held 17 trainings, including one in Bogota, Colombia through ALPAR. To date, in our 25th year, we have trained 5900 individuals from 47 states, 9 Canadian provinces and 23 countries.

So, there’s the history and the numbers. But what lies beyond? What truly do Celebrants do for families? What truly do Celebrants do for firms?

Part of the Journey

A funeral professional meets with a family. They are given the opportunity to express what type of service would be the most healing and touching for them. They might say they do not go to church. They might say that they are spiritual but not religious. They might say that they are a mixed family with some church attendees and some who never darken the door. They might be concerned about the type of death—suicide, over dose, violence, homicide—and that their loved one would be judged or condemned. And this is when the arranger can say “We have Celebrants who can serve your family in the most personal and unique way”. And the Celebrant becomes part of the journey.

The Celebrant has a family meeting, creating a safe space for stories and laughter and tears and grief so the Celebrant can gather up all the elements that will part of the service. Music, video, ceremonies, speakers, scripture, prayer, blessings, final committal, whatever is right and comfortable as this family searching for ways to establish the significance of this life and communicate their loss, their love and how their lives will be forever changed.

The Celebrant works with the funeral professional staff assuring that all parts of the service are coordinated and scripted with a story that flows through the entire experience.

And, on our best days, after the service is completed, the family will leave knowing that they did their very best to celebrate the life and mourn the death of their family member, that the guests who came to support this family will leave understanding that there is a special and healing way to hold a funeral, that the firm stands as a beacon of brave creativity and professional guidance and support.

I have had the opportunity to work extensively with a funeral director who opened a new firm in a small town of 8,000 citizens outside of Oklahoma City. He was adamant that his conservative and church-on-every-street-corner town would never accept Celebrants. But, he began offering Celebrants services and the community started seeing how special and personalized these experiences could be. In the past two years, I had been honored to serve 75% of his families. That’s a big jump from zero.

Each one different, unique, special.

What do these services look like? As an independent contractor who works for several firms, my time can be wide and varied and so very interesting.

In recent weeks, I was privileged to conduct the following services:

74-year-old woman who died of cancer. Very well-known and popular jeweler in town. We held a Sunday evening service at the funeral home prior to Catholic liturgy and inurnment at her Catholic church the following day.

85-year-old man who had multiple health issues. Service held at a campsite next to a lake where the family had held reunions.

82-year-old woman who was very simple and reclusive. Service held at graveside in her hometown.

34-year-old woman with mental health and substance abuse issues who took her own life after her children were taken into CPS custody.

84-year-old woman with multiple health problems. Shared the platform with two pastors from Pentecostal Holiness churches, 3 grandchildren and her best friend who were also speakers.

52-year-old man who died suddenly of a heart attack at work leaving behind a wife and two teenage kids.

55-year-old man of the LDS faith. His family was not part of the church so we had a Celebrant service the evening before and they had his LDS service the following day.

69-year-old man who died of suicide in his car at the cemetery where he had recently made pre-arrangements.

17-week gestational twins where 20 family members poured sand to represent all the layers of love for these little ones who never had a chance to meet them, followed by a bubble ceremony.

17-year-old boy who had lived on a breathing tube, a ventilator and feeding tube in a care facility for his entire life. The family wanted a Harry Potter theme and invited everyone to wear the color of their “house”.

Each one different. Each one unique. Each one special. Each one that can never be replicated.

Sadly, Doug left us in January of 2025. In his last weeks, we talked a lot about his incredible 92 years. The 42 books he had written, the places he had traveled all over the world, the impact and comfort his bereavement work had provided to millions of people. But, he said repeatedly that the thing he was the most proud of was bringing Celebrants to the funeral profession. That was his shining legacy and he died knowing that he left a beacon that will continue to help and heal grieving families for the years to come.

And, because of the continuing efforts of funeral professionals around the world, and dedicated funeral associations like CANA, the work continues. We invite you to join us.

Join the movement. CANA hosts Glenda Stansbury and Kathy Burns as they lead the threee-day intensive Celebrant Training from the InSight Institute in Chicago this September 22-24. Learn more about this training and register to become a Celebrant.

Can't wait for more Glenda? She and celebrant Brent Patterson step onto the CANA Convention stage to encourage attendees to reflect on What Does Gathering Look Like For You? In their session, they bring a new perspective to reimagining our offerings and redefining how we offer information and guidance as we paint the picture of gathering for our families. See what else we have planned and register for the 108th Annual Convention in Minneapolis this August

The Celebrant Movement and the Cremation Movement share many similarities, particularly in the last 25 years of growth and adaptation. As we take this year to reflect on 150 years of modern cremation history, you're invited to share your own story, history, and reflections. Join the Sesquicentennial Celebration.

Glenda Stansbury, CFSP, MALS is the Dean of the InSight Institute of Funeral Celebrants, VP of InSight Books, a division of Funeral Directors Resource, adjunct professor for UCO Funeral Service Department and Worsham Mortuary College and a practicing Certified Funeral Celebrant. She received the 2022 ICCFA Educational Foundation Lasting Impact Award.

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