There’s a story about a Stanford business class who was given the assignment of making the greatest ROI possible on $5 in two hours, at the end of which they would make a half-hour presentation to the rest of the class. Most students tried to buy something for $5 and sell it for a little more within the two hours, making a small return. Others recognized that the $5 was really a distraction and spent their time conducting services like filling bike tires for $1 around campus. They were more successful. But the most successful group recognized that their most valuable asset was neither the $5 nor the two hours. It was the opportunity to present in front of a room of Stanford MBA students, which they sold to a local employer for hundreds of dollars – racking up a return in the thousands of percent. The point is, don’t get distracted. And definitely don’t get distracted by a dollar figure when you’re considering what you have to sell that’s of value. I’ve met funeral home owners by the score who shake their heads in frustration and say something to the effect of, “Boy, did we step in it when we positioned cremation as an alternative to the funeral. (And to memorialization, and to ceremony, and to engagement with the funeral home…).” And they’re right. But the good news is, that’s not a mistake we’re stuck with. The trick is not to get distracted. Don’t get distracted by what a family thinks they want to pay. Don’t get distracted by the phrase “direct cremation.” Don’t get distracted by conceptions of yourself as a disposal solution. Don’t get distracted. The entire concept of “direct cremation” and asking for it as an escape route from your normal offerings is not new. Jessica Mitford was encouraging her disciples to demand it 60 years ago. But there’s some encouraging data that suggests we can still stem the tide. It Was Never Really About CostMy firm has conducted more than a million dollars’ worth of research on consumer preferences on death care in the past few years. One of my favorite data points deals with expected costs of death care services. We’ve asked a huge, statistically representative sample of Americans what they would expect to pay for two things: a funeral with a burial, and a funeral with cremation. We can then average all the responses to get a sense of the general perception of cost. When you do this multiple times, in multiple decades, you get to watch how preferences evolve. Over the past ten years, the answer to the “burial” question has remained exactly the same, when adjusted for inflation, to the dollar. Remarkably, the average American expects a funeral-with-burial to cost exactly what they did a decade ago. But over that same period, Americans’ perception of the cost of a cremation has significantly outpaced inflation. In other words, the gap is closing. And we can expect it to keep closing. Because it was never really about cost. Americans’ preference for cremation is decreasingly tethered to cost. As with other low-frequency purchase decisions, like houses or cars, cost is simply all we know to ask about. We buy vegetables all the time, and therefore understand to make decisions on cost, but also on freshness, quality, organic, and so on. But we don’t plan funerals often enough to have those reference points, so we revert to the first thing we can think of. That’s why most Americans say the first question they ask if planning a funeral is how much it will cost, but only a tiny percentage of Americans say the cost is the worst thing about the funeral. The $5 is only a distraction. Don’t fall for it. Consumer-Centric InnovationHere's another key statistic: only 14% of Americans agree with the statement that, “with cremation there’s no need for a funeral, memorial service, or other form of life celebration.” Fourteen percent! To hear your average funeral pro tell it, it’s at least 50. But only one in seven Americans really sees cremation as a “way out” of the ceremony. Now, more than that, one in seven might not want their local funeral home to have anything to do with the ceremony, which is a value hurdle you need to clear. And more from there might not ever get around to dealing with Aunt Maude’s ashes, which is where your experience and leadership come into play. But it’s vital to recognize the distinction: direct cremation isn’t really what most people want. Not even close. When Apple launched the iPhone, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer literally laughed at them for the price tag: “…That is the most expensive phone in the world. And it doesn’t appeal to business customers because it doesn’t have a keyboard.” Ballmer failed to recognize that while the prevailing strategy of the time was to sell phones business-down, Apple flipped the model on its head by going consumer-up. Today, there’s no distinction between your “work phone” and the phone you use to scroll social media. Not only did Apple give us that customer-centric innovation, they charged a premium for it. Funeral homes and cremationists would do well to remember that message: when you give the consumer what they’re asking for, you’re providing more value and can charge more, not less. In fact, that’s a pretty solid litmus test for whether you’re actually providing value as a business. Grocery stores discount the stuff they can’t sell otherwise. Department stores discount last season’s styles. If you’re giving your customers a discount, it’s an admission that what you’re selling isn’t really the valuable thing. And they know it. You Have More To Offer Than $5So, quit being distracted. In the death care space, your disposition services are the equivalent of the Stanford students’ $5. Making money off of it is enticing, and makes logical sense, but if you step back and take stock of the situation, you might notice you have much more valuable assets than that five-dollar bill. You have a market who doesn’t understand grief, who is hurting, afraid, and burdened, and they’re walking into your business. And you know exactly what they need to heal and how to help their community do the same. It doesn’t take a Stanford MBA to notice that’s worth a lot more than a few hours’ rental of your retort.
According to oft-cited funeral industry statistics and confirmed by CANA’s research in 2022, at least one in five homes in America has a container with cremated human remains. In 2017, that included many households in the Albuquerque metro area. That’s why CANA Member Sunset Memorial Park, operated by French Funerals and Cremations, held its first-ever “Scatter Day” for people looking for a respectful way to inter the cremated remains of a loved one for free. At the time, Chris Keller (Vice President of French Funerals-Cremations and Sunset Memorial Park from 2007 to 2021) said, “In a town like Albuquerque, you do the math: There’s 20 or 30,000 sets of cremated remains sitting in basements, in attics, on mantelpieces, under the bed, that are going to end up somewhere. And so many of them, we do know, end up in a landfill. And that breaks my heart.” Keller said that as people who have kept cremated remains at home pass away themselves, “the caregiver or succeeding generations of family members who are cleaning out their home often find urns containing the remains, and are at a loss as to what to do with them.” Some, he said, “end up in garage sales or in a dumpster, and each year multiple urns are abandoned at Sunset Memorial Park by individuals who innately know they don’t belong in a landfill, but who also do not want them at home.” After Sunset Memorial’s inaugural scatter event in 2017, Keller reported he heard from funeral homes and cemeteries around the country—and even one in Australia—wanting to know how to stage their own similar events. “If everybody in the country starts doing this, then the conversation in the culture will change,” Keller said. “People will realize that it’s still a body, you still need to find a final resting place.” WHAT CANA RESEARCH SAYSCANA’s Cremation Memorialization research, conducted in 2022, focused on quantifying the number of human and pet cremated remains in US and Canadian households, specifically addressing what people plan to do with the ashes in their homes. When we ask the general public who plan to be cremated what they want done with their ashes, roughly half respond, “Scatter me!” This has been validated over time with research conducted by other organizations. But do their ashes ultimately get scattered? Our research doesn’t directly answer this question. However, given that 26% of US households and 19% of Canadian households have human ashes, it’s likely that they don’t all get scattered—or at least not right away. The research study did provide important insights into consumer knowledge of permanent placement options. Among those who either have ashes in their home or who have been involved in cremation decisions for a loved one…
Here’s what a few other CANA Members did: ARLINGTON MEMORIAL CEMETERY • CINCINNATI, OHIOInitially, my interest was piqued several years ago when I heard Chris Keller from Sunset Memorial Park in Albuquerque give a presentation at an ICCFA event describing their Scatter Day. “What a unique event,” I thought, and then filed it away as something that we should consider doing at Arlington when the time was right. Flash forward to 2021, when we were continuing to witness, firsthand, a steeper climb in cremation. That’s when we decided to become active in encouraging our cremation consumers to consider final disposition and permanent memorialization at Arlington. Therefore, the time was right for a scatter day. However, we wanted a unique brand for our event and with the help of our advertising firm, we landed on “The Great Arlington Urn Return and Scatter Day.” We understood from the very beginning that the ROI on this event was more than likely going to be nominal and simply accepted that fact. We also agreed from the beginning that we wanted to “put our best foot forward” and leverage the event as a “heritage developer” for the future. Consequently, our Urn Return & Scatter Day became an “all hands on deck” event with meticulous planning from intake of the cremated remains and verifying documentation to permit and authorize scattering, to providing convenient meeting areas to expedite the process, to enabling the surviving family members to participate in the actual scattering, and finally by providing celebrants to assist the family with their “goodbyes.” As a result, there were numerous plaudits, ranging from “What a wonderful service you’re providing,” to “We’ve never been here before but it’s beautiful.” One consistent refrain was “We couldn’t afford anything more at the time.” That, of course, is one of the challenges that cremation poses to cemeteries and one of the reasons for Arlington to embrace events similar to Scatter Days in the first place. Daniel Applegate, President and CEO, has been with Arlington since 2001, initially serving as Vice President of Family Care until 2002 when the Board of Trustees appointed him as President. He currently serves as President and Chief Executive Officer, trustee of the Arlington Cemetery Association’s Board, President of the Arlington Funeral Home, and Chairman of the Arlington Funeral Home Board of Directors. Applegate served as secretary/treasurer of the Ohio Cemetery Association for several terms and one term as president. He has served a term on the Ohio Cemetery Dispute Resolution Commission and is a member of the International Cemetery, Cremation & Funeral Association (ICCFA). He has earned the designation as a Certified Cremation Specialist through the Cremation Association of North America (CANA). He currently serves on the Board of Directors of the Colerain Chamber of Commerce. FAIRMOUNT MEMORIAL ASSOCIATION • SPOKANE, WASHINGTONScattering day is something other practitioners in our field were doing and we thought that was a great idea and something we wanted to try out in our community. The genesis and implementation of this program in our company is credited to our marketing and community outreach team. Our organization’s vision is “Everyone will be remembered, honored and memorialized at the end of life,” so, to fulfill this vision with families who were going to scatter, we decided to offer this option in our cemeteries. If people were going to scatter, why not give them an option to do that in our cemetery? Cemeteries are designed for permanent memorialization. This way we are helping realize our company vision. This is well received by our families. Everyone seems gracious and thankful that we do offer this option. I had one family tell me that they just did not know what to do with their aunt’s remains till they saw our event being promoted on social media. What I have found is that the families who come to these events had no idea that scattering in a cemetery was an option. We are in discussion about plans for our fifth year of the annual scattering day event. I anticipate this to be ongoing in the foreseeable future. In general, when families use our funeral home they do a have a free scattering option that is included in their cremation. So, throughout the year, our families do have a free scattering option separate from this specific event. Sandra Walker, Chief Operating Officer – Fairmount Memorial Association, began her career in Funeral Service in 1999. She is a licensed Funeral Director in Washington/Idaho. She also has a license to sell preneed insurance. Sandra is past president of the Washington Cemetery Crematory Funeral Association and current board member for CANA. In July 2022, along with eight other women in the death care space, Sandra created the Death Care Collective. The Collective’s mission is to create a safe space for women in the profession to feel supported and empowered and to be seen and heard. Sandra’s love for cremation began in 2005 when her mother was the first in the family to be cremated. She is passionate about all things cremation. Excerpted from the article of the same name published in The Cremationist, Vol 59, Issue 1. Members can read this article and learn more about how these CANA Members made Scatter Days a success for their community and their cemetery in The Cremationist archive. Not a member? Consider joining your business to access this and all archives of The Cremationist plus the original research referenced here to help you find solutions for all aspects of your business – only $495! Ask any funeral director and he or she will tell you the same story plays out at their reception desk a few times each year. A middle-aged resident walks in holding a shopping bag and says, “My uncle just passed away and he had no children. I was cleaning out his house and found these urns on a shelf in his closet. I don’t want them in my house. What can I do with them?” CANA’s 2022 Cremation Memorialization Research supports this. Nearly one in four U.S. households have human cremated remains in their homes. That’s 21.9 million families with parents, grandparents and extended family members who have not been memorialized in any permanent way. While around a quarter of these families have plans to relocate ashes outside their homes, many others have avoided conversations with loved ones about plans for their cremated remains and feel unprepared to make a decision. In addition, while the CANA study reveals that two in three respondents wish they knew more about permanent placement options, about half of these folks don’t know where to go to learn more. To my mind, this CANA study says just one thing – there’s a tremendous opportunity for deathcare professionals to move cremation families from indecision to memorialization and permanent placement. Our Foundation Partners Group cemetery team has been working with our local funeral home and cemetery partners to reframe the discussion around permanent memorialization and the results are nothing short of amazing. Over the past five years, we have doubled the number of interments of cremated remains in our 22 cemeteries. How did we do it? It’s all about educating families, staying abreast of the latest products and trends, and thoughtful cemetery design. We’ll be sharing those strategies and tips next month at CANA’s 105th Cremation Innovation Convention. Please join me, our West Area Sales Manager Bryan Mueller and Dan Cassin, account executive for Merendino Cemetery Care from 10:30 – 11:30 a.m. on Friday, August 11 for our session, “Built to Last: How to Breathe New Life into Cemeteries.” 10 TIPS FROM OUR CEMETERY PROSWe encourage our teams to use every opportunity to discuss permanent memorialization. From our Foundation Partners cemetery pros, here are 10 tips to increase permanent memorialization awareness – and it’s just a preview of the useful information you’ll take away from our session:
Excerpted from The Cremationist, Vol 59, Issue 2: “When Cemeteries Lean Into Cremation, Consumers Win” by Cole Waybright. Members can read this article and get more tips in The Cremationist archive. Not a member? Consider joining your business to access this and all archives of The Cremationist plus the original research referenced here to help you find solutions for all aspects of your business – only $495! In just a few weeks, Cole Waybright, Bryan Mueller and Dan Cassin join CANA in Washington, DC to celebrate the 105th Annual Cremation Innovation Convention. Connect with cremation experts from across the profession, discover new products and services from more than 60 exhibitors, find inspiration while earning CE, and explore America’s capital city! Learn how you can ensure your cemetery is built to last and hear other speakers discuss today's issues of staff recruitment and retention, the unique needs of a family touched by suicide, and more. Registration is open now with discounts for multiple employees from the same company. Join us in DC this August 9-11, 2023!
Smith—aviation mechanic, Army Veteran, and past commander of the American Legion post in Gridley, California—died suddenly after a surgical procedure at age 52. His brothers and young son had the body cremated at the new crematorium at what is now Los Angeles National Cemetery. Afterward, his ashes were placed in the nearby indoor columbarium, Bay 300, Row A, “Cinerarium” 1—the first interment. Cremation was a practical choice for Smith’s family and their decision reflected the move away from casket burials on the West Coast at this time. In the United States, cremation of the dead and interment of the ashes or cremains in above-ground structures known as columbaria grew increasingly popular in the 1920s. Before contagious disease was fully understood, cremation was touted as a sanitary way to dispose of bodies—and perhaps a necessity in a pandemic. By the time scientific advances in the 1930s disproved this idea, many Americans viewed cremation as an appealing burial option. This was particularly true in California, where one-third of all U.S. crematories were in operation. Environmentally practical and architecturally stylish columbaria became a common asset in the state’s cemeteries. Floor plan of indoor columbarium at Los Angeles National Cemetery, c. 1940. The diagram helped visitors locate the niche holding the cremated remains of their loved one. (NCA) At the Los Angeles Veterans cemetery, which opened in 1889 on the grounds of the Pacific Branch of the National Home for Disabled Volunteer Soldiers, the graves of Veterans who served from the Civil War through World War I filled much of the acreage. With space at a premium and cremations on the rise, VA built an indoor columbarium and chapel-crematorium in 1940-1941. The Works Progress Administration (WPA), a New Deal-era agency that carried out public works projects, provided the money and the manpower for their construction. The WPA completed other improvement projects at the cemetery, landscaping the grounds, resetting headstones, and building a rostrum. The arc-shaped columbarium, with a covered arcade or “cloister” on the front, was strategically placed midway down the cemetery’s greensward as a backdrop to the low brick rostrum. Inspired by California’s historic eighteenth-century Catholic missions, the structure incorporated “second-hand brick” with “squeezed joints,” terra cotta roof tiles, and stucco. The use of clear, insulating hollow glass block in the windows added a forward-looking material. First introduced to consumers in 1933 at the Chicago Century of Progress Exhibition, glass block gained favor through the decade. Los Angeles columbarium built by the Works Progress Administration, which provided employment for millions of Americans during the Great Depression. (NCA) Inside the columbarium, a central vestibule connects two wings lined with two-dozen bays. Each bay has three walls filled with niches, twelve rows from floor to ceiling that are unmistakably reminiscent of post office boxes. The niche covers are made of an early metal alloy. Skylights and clerestory windows draw in natural light to create a pleasant setting “to visit the dead,” a stark distinction from previous generations of dark, somber columbaria. The plans for the Los Angeles columbarium included a matching structure to the east, which would have created a symmetrical focal point in the cemetery, but the second structure was never realized. The nondenominational chapel erected by the WPA at the cemetery’s entrance provided related functions such as viewing rooms and the crematorium. The small number of chapels proposed or built at national cemeteries after World War II were short-lived. By the late 1970s, the Los Angeles chapel was used for administrative and committal-service functions, and the crematorium equipment had been removed. Decades after Private Smith was inurned at Los Angeles and shortly after VA assumed responsibility for the national cemetery system in 1974, the agency made outdoor columbaria a requirement at all new cemeteries. The first was completed at Riverside National Cemetery in California. By the early 1980s, they were also being built at existing cemeteries in locations unsuitable for caskets, such as hillsides and along perimeter walls. VA cremation burials had reached 9 percent, and the addition of columbaria enabled older closed cemeteries to reopen. The future of Los Angeles National Cemetery, where available gravesites were generally depleted by 1976, has been revived with an all-columbaria tract opened in 2019 that eventually will accommodate 90,000 cremains. The need for such facilities is greater than ever, as cremation interments accounted for over 55 percent of all VA burials in 2021, just under the national rate. Meanwhile, VA is investing in its historic columbarium with a comprehensive rehabilitation project that will include a new tile roof, repairs to structural components and windows, and interior finishes. This unique building illuminates the shift in burial practices that occurred between the world wars and, like so many trends, it started in California. Reprinted with permission from the National Cemetery Administration historian of the National VA History Center. Object 48 is part of the History of VA in 100 Objects exhibit and expands on the first columbarium built on a national cemetery property. Other memorial objects from the exhibit include:
When the US economic crisis of 2008, forced individuals and families to become more budget-conscious. As a result, people got resourceful and creativity flourished, especially when it came to memorializing loved ones. In some cases, this meant the funeral director was cut out of the equation entirely or left on the outside looking in. I don't think it has to be that way. You can reposition your role and partner with these DIY people, these family members that want to work behind the scenes and bring additional value to their life tribute event. what do we know about the diy consumer?I want you to think about the family members that you've sat across from who are the DIY consumer. I want you to think about yourself and your friends and family who have the DIY bug and think about the feeling when you complete a DIY project. It is that sense of satisfaction. It is happiness that you feel. The new Man Cave is the She Shed! It's where the DIY consumer gets the solitude, the focus, and the space to complete these projects. These projects that are an instant mood enhancer for them. And that's how these family members feel. This isn't just something that they do on a whim. And the most famous DIY-ers? Martha Stewart has been around for decades. Chip and Joanna Gaines started with one home decor store and now they have their own television network. Ben and Erin Napier and the Property Brothers are part of the HGTV Family. Brit Morin is known as the digital Martha Stewart, and Tommy Walsh is one of the most well-known international DIY personalities. And now, because of YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok, we've seen the explosion of DIY bloggers all over the world. Some bloggers have their own sites or they use social media sites to reach out to potential DIY-ers. And it is their eagerness to provide video tutorials – step-by-step guides – to invite and encourage people to be a part of the DIY world. It is evident that the DIY world is expanding and here to stay. Data shows that 50% of DIY consumers are female and 52% are between the ages of 24 and 44 – a mix of Gen X and Millennials. We know that DIY projects are directly tied to life changing events: a graduation, an engagement, getting married, having a baby, buying a home, and, we can add, the death of a family member. Every time there's a milestone or something big happening in their family, they have an event. They bring people together. They honor old family traditions. They start their new traditions, and it's not just about their immediate family, but they bring in their extended family and they also reach out to their large social circle of friends to be a part of those special moments. And, because of that, a life tribute event will most likely be the topic of conversation among many of the attendees. It will be the word-of-mouth marketing that funeral homes want! But—guess what? That funeral director will fade into the background and simply be seen as the person who provided the place and took care of the disposition. HOW CAN YOU COLLABORATE WITH THE DIY CONSUMER?Here are three ways to partner with those individuals to help you and your entire team avoid getting left out of the conversation when a DIY consumer appears in that arrangement conference. SPEAK TO YOUR CREDIBILITY The words “licensed funeral director” carried a lot of weight for many, many years. Then, we needed to say “licensed funeral director and cremation specialist.” Now we need to add a third line of credibility, and that is your “creative” credibility. That DIY consumer needs to hear, in the very beginning of that arrangement conference, that you are creative, that you're willing to explore ideas, and that you have resources to execute their vision. BE THE IDEA GENERATOR What I hear most from funeral directors is that they don't have the extra budget or the extra time to do the “wow” factor for a family. I understand that, so think of yourself as an idea generator instead. It builds your credibility. It says: We are creative. We want to help you. For example, "it was interesting to hear about your sister's involvement with Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library. I was thinking of a few different ways we could honor that part of her life." KEEP RESOURCES HANDY Have websites, magazines, and books available for your funeral directors to enable them as idea generators. Know the websites that consumers are going to directly. These are three from my extensive list of websites: beau-coup.com is a wedding and baby shower website (I forewarn you), but they have every possible keepsake, covering all different hobbies and interests, and can be personalized with shipping options to ensure items arrive in time for a tribute. stylemepretty.com collects wedding ideas from all over the world to find out what brides are doing, what the trends are, and what resources that they're utilizing. If I was looking for tropical - Hindu - Jewish funeral ideas, I could go to Style Me Pretty to get some inspiration. And that's what you're going to find: a combination of cultures, hobbies and interests that bring it all together. And it's not just pictures: it is the resources and the vendors, too. pinterest.com is ideal for free consumer research. Hop on and type in the search box “my funeral” or “mom's funeral” or “dad's funeral” and look at all the Pinterest boards that have those names. And these are just the public-facing samples! These are the ideas that people are collecting, that they're thinking about, so when the time comes, they go to their Pinterest board and see what they've collected over the past couple of years for a loved one or for themselves. remembering well"When families participate, they remember. When they remember, they grieve. And when they grieve, they love." Remembering Well, by Sarah York That's the impact that you can have on these family members who want to have those DIY moments with other family members behind the scenes before that tribute takes place. This post was excerpted from Lacy Robinson’s presentation of the same name at CANA’s 2022 Cremation Symposium. Want to learn more about the DIY Consumer and get more ideas from Lacy? You’ll have to catch her presentation yourself!
For this end-of-year post, we decided to look at a few notable people who died this year and chose cremation for their disposition. In this pandemic era, it’s all too common for memorial services to be delayed due to difficulties in traveling, concerns about gathering, and the effect of overwhelming grief on top of day-to-day mental strain. For some of the famous people in this list—and countless others famous and not — funeral services were “pending” while families figured out how to honor a life at a time when bringing everyone who mourns them together is so difficult. In many cases, these memorials were held outside or limited to just a few friends and family. More than ever, virtual remembrances were vitally important to convey how much someone touched lives from miles away. Although stories and statistics show that people were not driven to cremation during the pandemic, cremation is often seen as a way of extending the timeline. Delaying decisions about memorial services and permanent placement can be easier when you can keep your loved one in your care in the meantime. That’s why, at the very end of this post, you’ll read about two celebrities who found a permanent resting place years after they died. Celebrity entries appear in alphabetical order. VIRGIL ABLOHSEPTEMBER 30, 1980 – NOVEMBER 28, 2021 Virgil Abloh broke boundaries as the first black Creative Director of Men’s Wear at world-renowned fashion house Louis Vuitton and brought pop culture to haute couture. His final collection appeared on the runway just days after his death from a rare heart cancer. The Miami fashion show that he had designed became a memorial service for 1,500 friends, family, collaborators, colleagues, media, and others on November 30th complete with videos, performances, and a statue in his likeness. After the careful planning he had done, “he was distraught not to be here to share it in person.” A smaller memorial service was held December 6th at the Museum of Contemporary Art in his hometown of Chicago with close friends sharing what he meant to them. In Chicago and across the world, he was remembered by Louis Vuitton via boutique windows covered with colorful panels proclaiming simply and meaningfully “Virgil was here.” elgin baylorSEPTEMBER 16, 1934 – MARCH 22, 2021 Elgin Gay Baylor, an 11-time NBA All-Star with the Los Angeles (formerly Minneapolis) Lakers, is considered one of the top 25 most influential players of all time for his on- and off-court work: considering his impressive hangtime and for his dedication to desegregation and support of the basketball players union. Since 1983, his retired #22 jersey has hung in the LA Lakers’ stadium. A statue honoring his talent was erected outside in 2018. On March 25 th, the Lakers honored his legacy with a memorial video, a moment of silence, and special uniforms sporting his initials and a black stripe. michael collinsOCTOBER 31, 1930 – APRIL 28, 2021 Michael Collins is best known as the pilot for the Apollo 11 mission to the moon, but he worked hard to “prevent the rest of my life from being an anticlimax.” Collins dedicated his leadership in support of space exploration and the people who achieve greatness and inspire future generations, and played an integral role in founding the National Air and Space Museum. On April 30th, the Kennedy Space Center hosted a memorial ceremony at the U.S. Astronauts Hall of Fame for the public to gather and remember his achievements. There, the air and space community, friends, family, colleagues, and the public honored his many contributions to Earth and space. photo source Spectrum News 13: "Apollo 11 astronaut Michael Collins honored at Kennedy Space Center" FREDERIK WILLEM “FW” DE KLERKMARCH 18, 1936 – NOVEMBER 11, 2021 Frederik Willem “FW” de Klerk served as the 7th President of South Africa and the final president of the Apartheid era. While he is credited with working to end Apartheid and relinquishing the presidency to Nelson Mandela in 1994, his legacy is tainted as a central figure in an oppressive regime. As a result of this complicated legacy, his family eschewed a state funeral for a private funeral, cremation, and burial in an undisclosed location after his death, without including members of the media or the public. Instead, President Cyril Ramaphosa declared a four-day mourning period and flags flown at half-mast until his cremation. On December 12th, de Klerk was recognized in a state memorial service where family shared their love and leaders honored his legacy. MARVELOUS MARVIN HAGLERMAY 23, 1954 – MARCH 13, 2021 Marvin Nathaniel Hagler is regarded as one of the top fighters in the history of boxing with 67 professional matches, earning 62 wins in his 14-year career. The undisputed World Middleweight Champion from 1980 until 1987, Hagler officially changed his name to Marvelous Marvin Hagler in 1982. “Marvin didn’t want a funeral. He didn’t want a wake. He wanted to be cremated,” his mother explained. Massachusetts chose to honor Hagler in his childhood hometown of Brockton – the City of Champions – on May 23rd. Declared as Marvelous Marvin Hagler Day, the public memorial service attracted celebrities and members of the public to celebrate his life and honor his memory. Brockton has announced that a statue will be raised to remember him. norm macdonaldOCTOBER 17, 1959 – SEPTEMBER 14, 2021 Norman Gene Macdonald’s death from cancer took many people by surprise as the comedian, writer, and actor was a famously private person. But while people may not be certain what age he really was, they will always remember his comedy — which they did by sharing clips and sketches from stand-up and SNL throughout his life. His family gathered on September 21st to remember him in a private service, and it’s fair to assume that they honored him as he joked they should: “When I have my funeral, and most funerals are crying and sad… that’s what I’d like. I’ve heard of other ones: ‘Let’s have a party!’ Whoa! No. There will be a lot of party days later, but right now I’m dead. People should be talking, crying.” One of Macdonald’s most famous impressions during his time on SNL was portraying presidential hopeful Senator Bob Dole. In good humor, Dole had joined him onstage and in Macdonald’s memory shared a photo from the moment saying that “Bob Dole will miss Norm Macdonald.” Coincidentally, Dole died fewer than three months later on December 5th. larry mcmurtryJUNE 3, 1936 – MARCH 25, 2021 Larry Jeff McMurtry wrote about what he knew: ranching and Texas. With more than thirty novels including Horseman, Pass By and Lonesome Dove, forty screenplays (including Brokeback Mountain), and more, he shaped the way people see Texas today. He also owned a second-hand bookstore in his hometown Archer City. When asked, he imagined his urn sitting on its shelves – an unobtrusive memorial that would encourage visitors to buy more books – though he also owned a plot in neighboring Wichita Falls. An atheist, McMurtry was not interested in marking his death publicly, but his colleagues disagreed: “If we didn’t do this,” said George Getschow, cofounder of the Mayborn Literary Nonfiction Conference, “we would have missed an opportunity to celebrate Texas’s most influential writer.” So, on October 9th they gathered at the site of The Last Picture Show to host Larry McMurty: Reflections on a Minor Regional Novelist (an inside joke for the award-winning internationally recognized writer) to visit the places in Archer City that appeared throughout his work, screen his films, and share memories and favorite passages to honor his legacy and the mark he left on Texas. BIBIAN MENTEL-SPEESEPTEMBER 27, 1972 – MARCH 29, 2021 Bibian Mentel was a rising star in Dutch snowboarding, ready to compete in the 2002 Salt Lake City Winter Olympics when a bone tumor required amputation of her right leg below the knee. Many thought this would signal the end of her career, but seven months later she took the next Dutch snowboarding championship and began lobbying the Paralympics to add snowboarding to their games. When they debuted the sport in 2014, she took the gold. The bone cancer continued to return and spread throughout her body requiring years of therapy and surgery, but she won two gold medals in the 2018 Paralympics and continued to compete until losing the battle to cancer this year. At the 2021 games, the Paralympics honored her memory with a video tribute to her accomplishments and indefatigable spirit. Her cremation and service were kept small for safety, but admirers served as honor guard to the hearse carrying her flower-laden casket to the crematorium. Her foundation, committed to motivating people with mental and physical challenges, will help ensure her memory and good works will continue. christopher plummerDECEMBER 13, 1929 – FEBRUARY 5, 2021 Arthur Christopher Orme Plummer was an award-winning actor of stage and screen. Best known as Captain Georg von Trapp in The Sound of Music opposite Julie Andrews, his career spanned seven decades. Lesser known might be his role as Klingon General Chang in the 1991 film Star Trek 6: The Undiscovered Country and again in 2000 for the video game Star Trek: Klingon Academy. While the role was perhaps not Oscar-recognized, Trekkers remain his devoted fans. Players gathered virtually across the many worlds of the games to honor and pay tribute to one of the greatest Klingon warriors. BRIAN SICKNICKJULY 30, 1978 - JANUARY 7, 2021 Brian David Sicknick does not truly fit on this list of celebrities like the others. By all accounts, he was a private individual, devoted to his family, dogs, and country after serving in the National Guard before being honorably discharged in 2003. Then, he joined the United States Capitol Police in 2008 in the First Responders Unit. Officer Sicknick fell in the line of duty while defending the Capitol on January 6th. He is included in this list of notable cremations since his remains were the first to lie in honor in the Capitol Rotunda in an urn rather than a casket. Just the fifth civilian to lie in honor, his urn and flag were respected in the rotunda on February 2nd before interment in a columbarium niche in Arlington National Cemetery. jessica walterJANUARY 31, 1941 – MARCH 24, 2021 For more than 60 years, Jessica Walter appeared on stage and screen, famous for playing character roles, but also for voiceover work, commercials, Good Morning America and much more. Predeceased by her husband and fellow actor Ron Leibman, who was also cremated in 2019, their family never specified details of the official memorials for either of them. But that didn’t stop colleagues and fans from remembering Walter in their own ways, particularly her recent work on Arrested Development (2003-2019) and the animated show Archer (2009-present) where she died before completing the season 12 finale. In her honor, Archer creators had her spy character escape to an unknown beach joined by her husband — who had been played by Ron Leibman. Their final words on screen, compiled from previous episodes, honored the fact that both their characters – and Walter and Leibman themselves – were now reunited together, happy and peaceful, in paradise. WINTEROCTOBER 2005 – NOVEMBER 11, 2021 Winter captured hearts as the bottlenose dolphin with the prosthetic tail. The star of her own biopic, its sequel, and related books, her story of perseverance through disability and chronic illness inspired people and drew fans to her tank in the Clearwater Marine Aquarium. Unfortunately, the Aquarium announced that gastrointestinal complications cut her life short just 16 years after her rescue. On November 20th, the Aquarium hosted a memorial in front of her tank and streamed the service to her fans worldwide. In January 2022, the Aquarium plans to open a virtual reality experience with Winter that will allow visitors to swim with her as she was in life. The Aquarium will build a permanent memorial to her at their facility, but they plan to scatter Winter’s cremated remains in the Gulf of Mexico: “Returning Winter to her natural home is a poetic ending to her 16-year journey and we couldn’t think of a better way to lay her spirit to rest.” 2021 RESTING PLACESzsa zsa gaborFEBRUARY 6, 1917 – DECEMBER 18, 2016 Sári “Zsa Zsa” Gábor could be considered “famous for being famous.” While she had some film roles, she is best known for her nine marriages and socialite status as the daughter of a “glamorous” family and a wife to men of power. She remained connected to her home country of Hungary through service and donations. When she died of heart failure in 2016, a portion of her cremated remains were sent to her sister’s plot in Westwood Memorial Park in Los Angeles, California. Finally, in 2021, the remaining portion was laid to rest in her native home in Budapest, Hungary. BURT REYNOLDSFEBRUARY 11, 1936 – SEPTEMBER 6, 2018 Burton Leon Reynolds, Jr. was on his way to a football career before an injury pointed him toward acting instead. His stardom spanned more than six decades of television and movie roles and he was Hollywood’s top grossing star in the late 1970s to early 80s. Reynolds died of a heart attack in 2018, but it wasn’t until 2021 that his cremated remains were placed in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery with a bronze memorial statue unveiled at a ceremony honoring his legacy three years after his death. This post only captures a few of the many people we've loved and lost this year. For a list of celebrities and notable peoples' deaths and dispositions, we suggest FindAGrave.com. CEMETERIES ARE DYING: A BOLD RESPONSE Posted By Dr. C. Lynn Gibson, Wednesday, July 14, 2021 Updated: Wednesday, July 14, 2021 Cemeteries are Dying: A Bold Response There are several key trends that have contributed to the rise of cremation in North America. Along with my colleague and friend Dr. Jason Troyer, we presented a seminar at the 2019 CANA Convention in Louisville, Kentucky, entitled “Cemeteries are Dying: A Bold Response.” In this educational seminar, we suggested that there are several emerging patterns evident in how we approach death today in the United States. Today’s emerging ethos represents the broad changes in the way people think. To be sure, a growing number of people are
Our cemetery recently designed the Grandview Legacy Trail & Pavilion specifically to address the emerging trends in deathcare. Our hope is to meet the changing preferences of our community while at the same time, providing a quality of care that meets the universal needs of the bereaved. The big idea we want to communicate to our community is that cemeteries are not only sacred places where the deceased are remembered, but also where people can regularly engage in healing and meaningful experiences. Here are a few examples. LESS RELIGIOUS & TRADITIONAL As people are becoming less formally religious, we designed our Legacy Trail to include nonreligious yet meaningful features—such as our Reflection Booth, where a Christian, a Buddhist, or an agnostic can take a quiet moment for themselves and reflect on life—even write a letter to their loved one to express their grief, should they choose. GEOGRAPHICALLY DISTANT Because of the growing geographic mobility of families, we are creating opportunities for meaningful connections at our cemetery through virtual experiences, too. Since people no longer live in the same town where their relatives are buried, we have recognized the need to foster meaningful connections by bringing the cemetery to them virtually, such as providing online visibility of grave memorials and driving directions to the exact GPS location of a gravesite. In the future, we want to add the ability to share one’s history and story online through pictures and videos and even provide remote flower orders and delivery straight to a loved one’s grave. Through our Cremation By Grandview funeral home, families can arrange and even prearrange online, including completing all of their required forms, identification, and payment. ECONOMIC PRIORITIES & NEW IDEAS Given the economic constraints many families face, we want our cemetery’s new Legacy Trail to provide affordable options for disposition, such as our Cremation Ossuary and Legacy Wall and our semi-private niche options. Other appealing features of our Legacy Trail include in-ground niches that provide room for five (5) full-size urns, making efficient and cost-effective use of space for families not wanting traditional burial. We intentionally placed our Legacy Trail next to our Grandview Pavilion—a modern, yet comfortable event facility design with picturesque views of the foothills of the Great Smoky Mountains. This outdoor facility is perfect for all types of celebrations of life, including traditional committals as well as private cremation memorials and community events, such as death cafes, yoga, and concerts featuring local artists. What is important is that there are many creative options affordable for families today, and plenty of excellent designers out there to assist cemeterians who desire an upgrade or new initiative idea for their cemetery. For example, Gerardo Garcia and his amazing team from Columbium By Design worked with us at Grandview every step of the way, from initial concept design to turn-key completion, helping us bring our Legacy Trail development to full fruition. When launching a new creative project, professional collaboration is a must. ONGOING GRIEF SUPPORT My professional focus in recent years has been adopting and implementing a Nurturing Care paradigm across all of our deathcare divisions, including Cremation By Grandview. We retooled our emphasis in recent years to promote a more flexible framework for service offerings to client-families, meeting them where they are in their deathcare needs. By applying universal principles of bereavement caregiving, our Nurturing Care approach emphasizes a funeral director’s comforting presence and professional guidance that solidifies support and healing. Cremation By Grandview provides opportunities for families who choose a cremation without ceremonies to utilize our cemetery for a final place of rest. Even without formal funeral services, families still benefit from having a place to go to remember and reframe their lives without their loved ones. Though we have been told repeatedly by grief researchers that human beings are surprisingly resilient when it comes to death and grief, we also understand that there remains a qualitative value of having a place to go and return again and again to not only honor the deceased’s life, but also to honor how our own stories have been forever changed. Cemeteries are indeed still vital to a healthy community. Providing a “cremation without ceremonies” through Cremation By Grandview also means educating families about the importance of a permanent place where they can find comfort and search for meaning. Our Grandview Legacy Trail & Pavilion was also designed to create meaningful connections with our community by offering ongoing grief support. Partnering with the Center for Hope & Wellbeing, we are thrilled to offer our community the Healing Path®—a first of its kind. The Healing Path® is a self-guided and interactive series of stations situated along the Legacy Trail that is designed to help people who still need more support through their grief journey. After people enter our beautiful threshold entrance to the Legacy Trail, they can pick up a copy of our Healing Path® Field Guide to make use of the numerous grief resources and activities we have provided that will help them explore their thoughts and feelings and find the support and healing they may need while walking along the trail’s pathway. ONGOING GRIEF SUPPORTMy professional focus in recent years has been adopting and implementing a Nurturing Care paradigm across all of our deathcare divisions, including Cremation By Grandview. We retooled our emphasis in recent years to promote a more flexible framework for service offerings to client-families, meeting them where they are in their deathcare needs. By applying universal principles of bereavement caregiving, our Nurturing Care approach emphasizes a funeral director’s comforting presence and professional guidance that solidifies support and healing. Cremation By Grandview provides opportunities for families who choose a cremation without ceremonies to utilize our cemetery for a final place of rest. Even without formal funeral services, families still benefit from having a place to go to remember and reframe their lives without their loved ones. Though we have been told repeatedly by grief researchers that human beings are surprisingly resilient when it comes to death and grief, we also understand that there remains a qualitative value of having a place to go and return again and again to not only honor the deceased’s life, but also to honor how our own stories have been forever changed. Cemeteries are indeed still vital to a healthy community. Providing a “cremation without ceremonies” through Cremation By Grandview also means educating families about the importance of a permanent place where they can find comfort and search for meaning. Our Grandview Legacy Trail & Pavilion was also designed to create meaningful connections with our community by offering ongoing grief support. Partnering with the Center for Hope & Wellbeing, we are thrilled to offer our community the Healing Path®—a first of its kind. The Healing Path® is a self-guided and interactive series of stations situated along the Legacy Trail that is designed to help people who still need more support through their grief journey. After people enter our beautiful threshold entrance to the Legacy Trail, they can pick up a copy of our Healing Path® Field Guide to make use of the numerous grief resources and activities we have provided that will help them explore their thoughts and feelings and find the support and healing they may need while walking along the trail’s pathway. THE FUTURE OF FUNERALS AND CEMETERIESI am one part concerned and one part encouraged about the future in deathcare. As cremation rates continue to steadily rise, so is the growing awareness that cemeteries are not necessary. The reason for this, I truly believe, is that we are now in an unprecedented era of deritualization – the growing trend in the United States of a public openness to revise, replace, minimize the significance of, and even eliminate or avoid long-held traditional funerary rituals to assist in the adaptation of loss. I have written extensively about deritualization in my research with Stellenbosch University. In short, deritualization is a significant interdisciplinary concern for all types of deathcare practitioners. There has never been a time in human history where we have not disposed of our dead without pausing for some form of ritualization to help us find meaning, comfort, and healing. We actually do not know the collective effect on our society (and on us as individuals) if we gradually continue the course of choosing cremation (or burial) without any memorialization or rituals of support. Cremation is, of course, not the problem. Instead, my concern is providing quality support and care for families who experience a loss. This is why we at Cremation By Grandview work hard to educate families that cremation is not a final mode of disposition, but a means to prepare a deceased loved one’s body for final disposition. In short, cemeteries still matter. Though it is doubtful we will ever return to the traditional rituals of old in how we care for our dead and each other, we can, however, create new ritual forms of support, hope, and healing. The good news is that now may be the best time ever to be involved in deathcare—it has never been more challenging or more fulfilling to assist one another in finding meaning and hope in the realm of human loss. The future for funeral service and end-of-life caregivers is indeed wonderfully promising. The great irony we’ve discovered is that the key to our shared future lies buried, like some ancient treasure, in what is being too often ignored, if not forgotten altogether . . . the intrinsic value of cemeteries. As funeral professionals searching everywhere for any insights that may help us in our important work with bereaved families, we have found that true timeless wisdom abounds in perhaps one of the most surprising places of all—the old cemetery. These dedicated spaces and sacred grounds are available in all our communities and are ripe with possibilities for new ritual forms that can be packed with new meaning. The response to pervasive deritualization is creative reritualization, embedded right in our community cemeteries from long ago. It seems that the key to our future has been with us all along. And thankfully, with the help of CANA and its international reach, deathcare practitioners continue getting better at making the connection between cremation and meaningful memorialization. This post excerpted from the Member Spotlight in The Cremationist, Vol 57, Issue 2 featuring Cremation By Grandview by Dr. C. Lynn Gibson. Members can find the full profile in the most recent issue. Not a member? Consider joining to access the magazine archives and other resources to help you find solutions for all aspects of your business – only $495. Members also receive discounts on many CANA education programs including CANA's upcoming Convention! With a wide range of valuable networking and educational opportunities, the CANA Convention features sessions from presenters carefully chosen to make the most of your time away from the office and ensure you leave with practical takeaways. We can’t wait to welcome Dr. Gibson to the CANA stage in Seattle this August to share ideas on revitalizing cemeteries with cremation memorialization options. See what else CANA has planned for our 103rd Cremation Innovation Convention: goCANA.org/CANA21.
While we rarely know them personally, we often feel profound sadness when a celebrity dies. Grief experts say this sorrow is often tied to the influence these famous people can have on us, a connection to our memories of the past, or pervasive media coverage. These are people whose activities, opinions, and actions often spilled into our own lives, and we feel the loss when they are gone. Celebrities also exert an influence through death. Many in the industry believe that David Bowie changed the course of U.K. funeral tradition by choosing direct cremation, demonstrating that it can be a challenge for death care professionals to encourage families to memorialize when their favorite stars don’t. And yet, people seem to know instinctively that memorials are important. Although many celebrities insist they want “no fuss” when they die, post-cremation memorial services in their honor are common. The fans themselves refuse to let the famous person’s death pass unmarked, often sharing meaningful tributes online or spontaneously leaving a mass of flowers in a location that has a particular connection to the person who died. For this end-of-year post, we decided to look at a few notable celebrities who died this year and chose cremation for their disposition. carol channingJANUARY 31, 1921 – JANUARY 15, 2019 As a performer, Carol Channing is difficult to classify. She experienced 70-plus years of celebrity, and the description “entertainer” comes the closest to encompassing her decades of work as an actress on stage and screen, a singer, a book subject, a comedienne, and more. Carol had many ideas for her final resting place and envisioned a service as large as the life she lived. She wanted to be buried between the Curran and Geary theaters in San Francisco, with a “full-scale parade down Geary Street.” She was cremated and returned to her loved ones, perhaps to be scattered from the Golden Gate Bridge (another idea of hers). mary oliverSEPTEMBER 10, 1935 – JANUARY 17, 2019 Mary Oliver was named “this country's best-selling poet” by The New York Times. Winner of the National Book Award and the Pulitzer Prize, many people marked her death earlier this year by sharing Mary’s poetry on life, love, grief, and nature. While we are unable to provide details on her exact form of disposition, in 2005 Mary herself scattered the cremated remains of her longtime partner, Molly Malone Cook, mixed with leaves and petals. Her poem “Prayer” suggests she would prefer a similar experience for herself: Prayer May I never not be frisky, May I never not be risque. May my ashes, when you have them, friend, and give them to the ocean leap in the froth of the waves, still loving movement, still ready, beyond all else, to dance for the world. Evidence: Poems by Mary Oliver karl lagerfeldSEPTEMBER 10, 1933 – FEBRUARY 19, 2019 Karl Lagerfeld held the creative reins of the French luxury fashion houses Chanel and Fendi, as well as his own clothing label. Revered for his style and vision, one might assume that the pomp of the fashion world would permeate his funeral service. On the contrary, he told an interviewer that he’d “rather die than be buried,” and asked for no public funeral. However, his stores were given instructions on how he wanted to be remembered: white roses with 120 cm stems in a transparent or white vase. His cremation took place as a private ceremony among his nearest loved ones, and his cremated remains are believed to have been combined and scattered with those of his mother, Elisabeth, his cat, Choupette, and his longtime partner, Jacques de Bascher. The fashion world honored his life and career with a memorial event titled "Karl For Ever” as part of Paris Men’s Fashion Week in summer 2019 with an invite-only guest list of 2,500. doris dayAPRIL 3, 1922 – MAY 13, 2019 Doris Day was a beloved popular singer and the star of many films in the 1950s and 60s. She had her own television variety show and spent her decades-long retirement active in the Doris Day Animal Foundation. She performed with the likes of Cary Grant, Rock Hudson, and David Niven, which might lead one to think that she would choose a place of rest among the stars in some of the most famous California cemeteries. Instead, when she died this year at the age of 97, she left instructions to be buried with no funeral, no memorial, and no grave marker. To honor her wishes, her cremated remains were scattered in Carmel-by-the-Sea, California, her home for many years. Her estate was announced to be auctioned off in support of her foundation in April 2020. TARDAR SAUCE |
Rhonda Montgomery, Ph.D. is the Department Chair of the Food & Beverage and Event Management Department in the William F. Harrah College of Hotel Administration. She conducts research and has written articles on the social psychology of purchasing decisions and customer loyalty for meetings, conventions and festivals. She has also written numerous books in the areas of meetings and conventions, private club management and the first-year experience. |
Kilian Rempen is the Marketing Manager at Passages International, leaders in the green funeral sector for 20 years. Kilian has been published in multiple major funeral industry publications and helps spread the word of greener alternatives in funerals and other areas. |
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