Today’s consumers foster inherent skepticism toward traditional advertising. Instead, they prefer and rely on recommendations from people they know and trust. To effectively reach these consumers, you need brand advocates – individuals who have first-hand knowledge of your funeral home and can share their positive experiences through word-of-mouth referrals.

Your brand advocates are well placed to offer credible recommendations to their peers. They sing your praises to others in the community without incentives like coupons, discounts or special offers. They do it because you have earned it, and they are often your most effective recruiters, a compelling blend of advocacy and authenticity.

The most successful funeral businesses rely on word-of-mouth recommendations and testimonials to increase brand awareness in their community. But to truly capitalize on this valuable pool of promoters, you need to know how to identify and mobilize your brand advocates.

The most obvious place to look for brand advocates is among your client families. These individuals are well acquainted with your goods and services because they’ve experienced them firsthand. This makes them valuable sources of information about your business. However, not every customer makes an effective brand advocate. To ensure you’re focusing your attention on those individuals who are going to have the most impact on your business, you should identify customers who have had memorable and rich experiences with your funeral home.

Storytelling is an essential part of word-of-mouth recommendations for funeral businesses. No one truly wants to shop for a funeral – caskets, vaults, urns and monuments are not fun to buy. Very few people are going to be compelled to use your services because they hear you have an impressive collection of 18-gauge steel caskets. Instead, they respond to story-based recommendations that describe experiences and emotions. And the most effective stories are the memorable ones – the ones that get told and retold from person to person.

My family recently experienced two losses that illustrate the importance of memorable services. When my grandmother passed away, we planned what many of us think of as a “traditional” service: an immediate cremation followed by a visitation for friends and community members, a memorial service at the local church, a lunch reception at the community center and a short graveside service at the Veterans cemetery. While the day was certainly meaningful for my family, it was not necessarily memorable to those who attended.

When my cousin died a year later, we planned a very different service. We held the funeral in the high school gymnasium, with his name lit up on the scoreboard above a red bowtie – his favorite accessory. Every member of his graduating class wore bowties, even some of his coaches. During the service, dozens of teachers and friends shared stories, some sweet, others funny – all memorable. The luncheon afterward was even catered by his favorite barbecue restaurant. His service was memorable – so much so that many in the community are still talking about it three years later.

Consider the last 10 services you performed at your funeral home. How many of them were truly memorable? Can you picture attendees sharing stories from the service with their friends and relatives? Will people still be talking about that experience a year from now? Two years? Ten? If you’re not sure, you likely need to spend some time working with your staff on creative memorialization and personalization so that each and every family leaves your funeral home with a memorable experience that they are excited to share with everyone they know.

When looking for brand advocates, you should also consider the breadth of experience a family has had with your business. Someone who selected direct cremation is unlikely to have much to say about your funeral home – good or bad. They simply haven’t had much exposure to you or your business. On the other hand, consider the credibility and influence of an individual who met with you in a prearrangement setting for their spouse; interacted with your staff at the first viewing, visitation and memorial service; took advantage of your aftercare efforts; and then returned to plan and fund their own funeral. A customer who has this kind of rich experience with you and your staff is much more likely to be a loyal, informed advocate for your business.

Unfortunately, identifying your most effective brand advocates is the easy part. Learning to motivate and deploy them effectively is much more difficult.

To mobilize your brand advocates, you first need to build and nurture meaningful relationships with them. This first part is likely something that already comes naturally to you – after all, you work in a relational profession. You likely know many of your client families before they come in for an arrangement conference, and if not, you are skilled at establishing a connection with them within a few minutes of meeting. However, it’s just as important to continue to foster those relationships long after the immediate need has passed.

There are few tangible ways to do this. First, take advantage of as many fact-to-face interactions as you can. That means dropping off paperwork at a widow’s home instead of mailing it, offering to transport flowers to the family’s home so they don’t have to pack them into their station wagon, and taking time to greet your customers whenever you see them out in the community. You may even consider calling the surviving spouse three or four weeks after the service just to check in, or taking them out for coffee so they have something to look forward to once all their friends have stopped calling and visiting.

You should also leverage opportunities to continue to provide service to families through your existing aftercare. Make sure every family knows what’s available – newsletters, emails, grief support groups, etc. Let them know why they’re important and offer to connect them with others who have found value in participating in those programs. Whenever you have events at your funeral home, like open houses, memorial services or holiday events, make sure you invite your brand advocates. Attending provides them with more exposure to your business and gives them one more thing to talk about with their friends and relatives.

The last – and most important – step in mobilizing brand advocates is asking your client families for referrals. This is often an uncomfortable thing for funeral professionals to do, but it’s a key part of leveraging brand advocates to promote your business. Often, customers who have had great experiences with your business are already inclined to promote you in their communities, but it’s still a good idea to remind them that it’s a valuable thing for them to do.
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When you ask for referrals, make sure you incorporate three things:

• Explain why their recommendation is valuable. Talking about death can be uncomfortable for your client families, but you can help normalize it by encouraging them to share their experiences. I’ve found that the most effective way to do this is to focus on what they can do for other families: “Losing a loved one is difficult for every family – especially those who have never experienced loss before. You can help the people in your life prepare for the loss of their own loved ones by sharing your experience with them.”
• Ask them to provide a testimonial or referral. Timing is important. If you already have a follow-up system in place (like a survey), that is the ideal opportunity to ask for testimonials. If not, follow up with families a week or two after the conclusion of services to check in and ask about their experience. If they have great things to say about you and your staff, encourage them to share their thoughts with others: “We’ve found that hearing from other families we’ve served helps others who experience a loss understand what they can expect when they use our funeral home. Would you be comfortable providing a testimonial about your experience?”
• Let them know how/where to provide feedback. Decide how you want your client families to share their feedback. Ideally, they will be talking about your business everywhere they go. But it’s also a good idea to give them a concrete starting point – like your funeral home’s Facebook page. Once you’ve asked for a testimonial, make sure they know where to go to provide it: “We are honored you chose our firm to care for your loved one. Our service standard is to provide exceptional service to each and every family. If you feel we went above and beyond in our service to you, please share that on our funeral home’s Facebook page.”

One final note: The best way you can ensure you are identifying and mobilizing your brand advocates is to build the process into your standard operations. Make sure everyone on your staff understands the importance of providing memorable service to your client families. Train them to be on the lookout for individuals who have rich experiences with your firm and stories to share about your services. Then set expectations for how you will ask families for testimonials and ensure that every member of your team knows how valuable those testimonials can be for your funeral business.

Nearly every movement in American history has begun with a handful of hearty men guiding the reins of change and progress. The cremation movement in America is no different. In its early years, a strong cast of characters brought cremation from the dark of superstition into the light of knowledge. F. Julius LeMoyne (builder of the first crematory in the U.S.), Henry Steel Olcott (co-founder of the Theosophical Society), and Dr. Hugo Erichsen (Detroit medical practitioner and founder of CANA), among others, all played important roles in the formation of America’s cremation movement.

However, if men were at the head of the early movement, then women most certainly helped to determine the direction of the men’s efforts and encouraged the growing public acceptance of cremation customs. Women were at the forefront in turning the cremation movement into a reality in America because they were among the first people to be cremated in the earliest crematories in the country.

The third person cremated in a modern crematory in the United States was Jane Pitman (Bragg), wife of Benn Pitman, the stenographer during the trial of President Lincoln’s assassins. In 1885, Peggy Smith was the first person cremated at Buffalo Cremation Co. (now Forest Lawn Cemetery in New York). Barbara Schorr was the first person cremated at Detroit Crematorium in 1887 (now Woodmere-Detroit Crematorium). In 1886, Olive A. Bird was the first person cremated in Southern California Crematory (now Angelus-Rosedale Cemetery), and in 1888, Elizabeth Todd Terry was the first person cremated at Missouri Crematory (now Valhalla’s Hillcrest Abbey Crematory). Suffragist Lucy Stone was the first person cremated at Massachusetts Crematory, in 1893 (now Forest Hills Cemetery). These pioneering women were so ahead of their time that in several cases their bodies had to be stored while crematory construction was completed.

This quotation proved so meaningful to the cremation movement that a plaque bearing these words hangs in nearly every historic columbarium in the country.

Willard was cremated in the Chicago Crematory in Graceland Cemetery upon her death in 1898. Her stance was so notorious that, even after Willard’s own death, a satirical obituary for her cat ran in The New York Times, under the title “To Cremate a Cat.”

Followers of the cremation movement increased as the century turned. Authors of the time penned essays informing the public about the cremation option. Sheba Hargreaves was among many who produced pamphlets urging cremation and inurnment. She painted cremation as a beautiful process to be supported and embraced by all who truly cared for their dead.

During the “Memorial Idea” period of cremation’s history, which began in the late 1920s, there was a concerted effort to ensure that cremated remains were memorialized with the same dignity and dedication as full remains. The leading men of the era, including Lawrence Moore (Chapel of the Chimes in Oakland, CA), Herbert Hargrave (Chapel of the Light in Fresno, CA) and Clifford Zell (Valhalla Chapel of Memories in St. Louis, MO), were strongly supported in their activities by their female counterparts—women such as Alta Phillips (Hollywood Columbarium in Hollywood, CA) and Teresina Morgan (Chapel of Memories in Oakland, CA).

At the Chapel of the Chimes in Oakland, an entire cadre of women formed the backbone of the staff. They were charged with describing the Memorial Idea for the families who called upon the crematory for service. Moore felt the women could, like no one else, guide families through the daunting process of choosing a permanent memorial. With the dedication of evangelists, men taught other men the ‘gospel of cremation,’ women of cremation were the true apostles of ‘the good news’ of this ‘sanitary and aesthetic method’ and sold this idea to the families they served.

Women’s influence brought many of the most beautiful cremation memorials into existence. Well-known architect Julia Morgan redesigned and constructed one of the most stunning columbaria in the country at the Chapel of the Chimes in Oakland in 1928. This famed chapel would ultimately be named after cremationist Frances Willard and incorporate her famous sentiment.

Eventually, this golden age of the “Memorial Idea” began to take a new course in the 1960s. Driven by many factors, the change was primarily due to a movement toward simplicity. In 1963, Jessica Mitford wrote her satirical expose The American Way of Death. Propelled by the excitement that Mitford’s book spawned, the idea of simple direct cremation began to take hold. By the late 1970s the memorial idea started to lose its hold on cremation, and, as it did, the Cremation Association of North America did everything possible to maintain the integrity of what they viewed as the right course: the permanent memorialization of cremated remains. Women were actively involved in the association’s efforts.

In 1979, the Cremation Association of North America elected not only its first female president, but also the first female president in the history of any death care association. Genevieve “Jinger” Zell, widow of CANA’s past president Clifford F. Zell, Jr., took the reins of the association during a time when cremation was experiencing a major transformation. The U.S. cremation rate reached a tipping point of 10% during her presidency. She was one of the most ardent supporters devoted to continuing CANA’s ideals of inurnment and permanent memorialization, staunchly advocating against the processing of cremated remains.

After Zell, women continued attain positions of leadership. Mary Helen Tripp was elected president in 1991, followed by Corrine Olvey in 1997, and, most recently, Sheri Stahl in 2015. Today, CANA boasts some of the most forward-thinking women in the profession: Caressa Hughes, Robbie Pape, Elisa Krcilek, and Erin Whitaker are making their mark in the history of cremation by serving as board members, officers, and advisors of the association that is on the cutting edge of all things cremation.

CANA’s executive director is Barbara Kemmis. Under her tutelage, the association has gone from being dependent on a management company to being entirely stand-alone and self-sufficient. Kemmis has been instrumental in the reformation of the industry’s original and foremost Crematory Operations Certification Program™ (COCP™).

The COCP was reviewed and revised and a whole new catalog of online professional education programs were developed by CANA’s Education Director Jennifer Head. If you read The Cremationist Magazine, what you read is the direct result of the hard work of Sara Corkery, editor of the trade journal.

From past to future, women have played, and will always continue to play, a very important role in all movements in our country. In our ever-evolving society, who better to guide cremation and CANA’s future?