Blog Archives

Who is the Enemy?

5/22/2024

In February, I attended CANA’s 2024 Symposium focusing on green practices. There were several presenters and vendors who provided information and products covering embalming, green burial, alkaline hydrolysis, and natural organic reduction. Everyone brought their best attitudes and willingness to learn about new ways to consider how we serve our families.

As the presentations continued, it was clear that many people in the room had strong preferences and could argue clearly on behalf of the methods they preferred. It occurred to me while listening to these discussions that we have to have something to be against in order to have something that we support.

Now, isn’t that the truth for humanity throughout our collective experience? In every story there is a bad guy and a good guy. A right way and a wrong way. This is how countries, political parties, religious denominations, cults, and, even, sports teams gain their followers. We’re number one and everyone else is a loser.

Enemies in Funeral Service

In the 60’s Jessica Mitford was the objective of our collective anger. In her book The American Way of Death, she pulled the curtain back on the practices of the day. Some of her assumptions and accusations were inflated and unfair. Some of her statements were correct and on point. This exposé that outlined many problematic business practices drew the attention of the FTC and funeral service was put on notice that someone was watching. So, then we had a second point of pain and an enemy that we could all agree on. That meddling FTC that makes our lives so difficult.

And then, along came cremation. Now this was something threatening that we could all rally against. What do you mean that you do not want to embalm the body, buy a casket and a vault and a burial plot? This is what we do. This is our entire business model. This is how we survive.

So, for another two decades (and, for some much longer) many funeral professionals were less than engaged with the cremation family. The famous professional shrug and eye roll as we referred to the request as “just a cremation.” We hid the urns in a closet and only brought them out when we had to. As cremation continued to increase and it became clear that it was going nowhere, many funeral professionals learned to embrace and adapt and have successful businesses serving the cremation customer. But, if you listen closely when a group of funeral directors get together, there is still that collective sigh as they remember the good ol’ days.

Just as we thought that we had figured out how to sleep with that enemy, along came green burial. “What? What kind of hippy dippy, tree hugging stuff is this? ”And, of course, Jewish and Islamic families all over the country gently reminded us that they have been honoring their dead in this manner for 2000 years.

And this is when the enemies became divided. For those who were promoting and encouraging the natural disposition choices, formaldehyde and caskets and fuel-based cremation became the enemy. Bad for the environment. Bad for practitioners. Bad for the land.

For those whose business practices relied on embalming or cremation, green burial became a threat to their established models and frustrating in the limitations of offering options. “Sure, I am happy to support a family’s wishes, but how do I find a cemetery that accepts natural burial? Or dealing with green-identified cemeteries that won’t allow burial of an embalmed body which means that families cannot be buried together? And what does green burial mean? A wicker casket? A shroud? Formaldehyde-free embalming? So confusing. Perhaps we can just ignore it and hope it goes away.”

In the last decade, the landscape has gotten even more crowded with the introduction of alkaline hydrolysis focusing on the enemy: flame-based cremation. So much better to utilize water and sodium hydroxide and not pollute the air or use large quantities of fuel. At this writing, twenty states have legalized it, indicating a lag in professional support and urgency for making this available for families who would like to have that choice. Why create yet something else that we must deal with?

And then, in 2019, natural organic reduction came on the scene. You could feel the collective gasp all over the country. “What? Another option? Turning bodies into soil? A truck load of remains? Are you kidding me?" At this writing, nine states have legalized this process and much of the pushback has come from religious and funeral professionals. “We’ve never done it this way before and it just doesn’t feel right. ”The best way to bring folks together is to give them a really good enemy.

Are we the enemy?

Personally, I am a fan of all of the above. I have had the privilege of working with such talented and dedicated professionals in all of these fields – embalming, cremation, green/natural, alkaline hydrolysis, and natural organic reduction.

I am completely convinced that their life’s work has been focused on serving families in dignified and honoring ways and of supporting a funeral practice that serves the community.

My question is – Why does anything have to be the enemy? Why have we been so resistant to accepting and enthusiastically embracing ALL of the options? Why must one thing be bad in order for our preference to be good? Clearly each method has pros and cons that must be considered, but there is no one method that owns all the pros nor one that is inherently bad.

Why can’t we open up those doors and become proficient and conversant in every option that is allowed in our states? Why are we not having full and informative conversations with professionals, law makers, religious and lay communities as we consider what it means to take care of a person’s final disposition and honoring those wishes? What message are we sending to families who are seeking the best alternative that fits them and their lifestyles and convictions when we refuse to be the professional experts in all the ways we take care of bodies?

Perhaps it is time to put down our We’re Number One foam finger and consider ourselves part of the death care team with everyone pulling in the same direction. Perhaps the best way to bring everyone together is not to create an enemy but to create a vision of progressive inclusion and expansive imagination. In that scenario, no one has to be the enemy. Everyone can be the good guy.

Glenda Stansbury takes the stage at CANA's 106th Annual Cremation Innovation Convention this September 11-13, 2024. She'll talk about the value of listening and being open to all perspectives and responding to the needs of our communities. See what else we have planned and register to attend: cremationassociation.org/CANA24

This post excerpted from an article of the same name, originally appearing in Dodge Magazine Spring 2024 Volume 116 No. 2.

Glenda Stansbury, CFSP, MALS is the Dean of the InSight Institute of Funeral Celebrants, VP of InSight Books, adjunct professor for UCO Funeral Service Department and a practicing Certified Funeral Celebrant. You can contact her at [email protected].

10 Tips for Creating A “Stay” Culture

5/2/2024

The loss of talent is one of the biggest challenges organizations face. In a competitive job market, managers can help ensure stability by intentionally creating a culture that people will be more likely to stay in. And, contrary to what is often assumed, it does not have to cost a lot of money.

Here are 10 ways managers can create a culture people will want to join and thrive in:

Mind Your Brand: The company values that matter to your customers—such as integrity, quality, and compassion—also matter to your employees. It is important that your internal policies, processes, and culture are consistent with your external message. Aligning your actions to your words builds trust and a sense of belonging for your employees. And people tend to stay where they have a sense of belonging and trust.
Tell Me How I’m Doing: Employees need to know how they’re doing, and they need to hear it more than once a year! Regular feedback keeps us on track, allows us to make corrections, and gives us a sense of security. Formal performance reviews are great, but so are informal moments of feedback or coaching. And, while you are giving feedback, create the opportunity for your employees to give you feedback, too. “Stay Interviews”—scheduled meetings with employees specifically to hear from them what is working and what suggestions or concerns they have—are a great way to reinforce two-way communication and identify potential issues.
Encourage Growth: People often leave jobs because they do not feel they are being challenged or presented with opportunities to stretch, learn, and grow. Even smaller businesses that do not have multiple roles or levels can still help their employees grow. This may take the form of leading special projects, learning new aspects of the business, or helping to train/develop others. Look for ways to engage your employees in those opportunities, and seek their ideas for additional possibilities.
Celebrate, Recognize, and Say Thank You: The death care industry demands tremendous energy and compassion from everyone that is a part of it. At some level, all your employees are a part of providing a critical service to families at their most difficult times. You have undoubtedly seen how that work can lead to fatigue or burnout. Encouraging celebration around life events (birthdays, weddings, births, etc.), recognizing milestones and accomplishments, and expressing thanks can help balance the emotional toll of the work with positive moments. It does not have to cost a lot, and the return on investment is huge. Your social media accounts are also a great way to highlight the awesome things your team members are doing—and everyone loves a shout out!
Develop a ‘One Team’ Mindset: Employees can leave a job and quickly replace their salary, benefits, and working conditions. It is much more difficult to replace relationships formed through strong team dynamics. A sense of shared purpose and connection to a team is a powerful retention tool. Managers can help encourage this by intentionally creating team-building opportunities such as co-leadership of projects, quarterly team dinners, community involvement, and volunteer events to name a few.
Get Your Priorities Straight: Another important antidote to burnout is making sure the health, home, and family of your employees are prioritized first. More and more, workers are sending a clear message that they will not stay in environments that persistently ignore their personal lives and needs. Encouraging flexibility through policy and practice, sharing resources between team members (swapping days off, having reliable back-ups, etc.), and demonstrating support both verbally and non-verbally are all ways managers can reinforce this message. The most impactful reinforcement is for employees to see their managers leading by example. If you’re missing important personal events, working excessive hours, or staying engaged even when you’re “off,” your employees will believe that is what is expected of them, too.
Normalize Two-Way Communication: Employees want to know what is happening, what to expect, and how they can make a difference. They also want to know that when they “speak up,” someone will be listening. Positive workplace cultures have a regular cadence of communications (weekly, monthly, quarterly), invite everyone to contribute their unique voice in some way, and make time to gather employee feedback/input on large and small matters. When you are regularly engaging your employees, they will be more comfortable talking to you about their concerns before those concerns become their reason for leaving.
Address Performance Problems: Nothing will discourage a good employee more than watching a problem employee “get away with it.” While it is probably the one job of management that we all hate to do, it must be done. If someone on your team is violating policies, behaving inappropriately, or consistently delivering poor quality it must be addressed swiftly and professionally. Important: before starting down a path of corrective action, make sure expectations (and the consequences of not meeting them) have been communicated to all employees.
Protect Your Business: Sometimes, good employees leave even when the culture is supportive and everything is working as it should. Managers can help protect themselves and their business by ensuring that critical processes are well documented, employees have been cross-trained in other roles to a basic level, and important documents, passwords, and other information/resources are stored in a shared space. These efforts can also help retain employees because your team will see that they have support and protection when they need it (which they all will at some point).
Learn From The Loss: As experts in the death care industry, you counsel individuals and families every day through difficult losses. You see firsthand and help guide how people are affected, how they honor their loved ones, and how they support each other. While obviously less impactful, there are also lessons to learn in how we respond to employees leaving. If a team member has resigned, schedule an exit interview with them and try to learn what prompted the decision and what (if anything) could have been done to prevent the departure. As they work out their period of notice, continue to treat them as a valued and respected member of the team. Finally, check in with their co-workers before and after their departure. Recognize that this may be a significant loss for them, reinforce your desire that they stay, and communicate your plan for handling the work that remains.

Denise Reid and Martha Webb-Jones provide consultation on Human Resources policies and processes through Raven Plume Consulting. The mission of Raven Plume is to change the way people think about funeral service by sharing knowledge and expertise with funeral home and crematory professionals, clients, and the public.

With Cremation Strategies & Consulting, part of Raven Plume Consulting, you can get a discount in developing your SOP Manual and reduce liability, improve employee training, and ensure operations are done correctly, efficiently, and consistently. Available free to CANA Members, the Crematory Management Program provides step-by-step instructions to build a Standard Operating Procedures Manual with the help of experts. Not a member? Learn more about why CANA keeps growing!

Denise Reid possesses over 20 years of experience in consulting, recruiting, diversity and inclusion programming, and talent pipeline strategies. She sets a new standard in connecting people, identifying best practices, and helping organizations drive business and workforce success. Her passion is driving economic growth and community prosperity through innovation and inclusion.

Martha Webb-Jones has worked as a Human Resources and Regulatory Compliance leader for over 15 years. She has experience across the core functions of Human Resources and helped guide businesses through multiple projects related to expansion, workforce engagement, and risk mitigation. In every endeavor, her work and values center on the empowerment and development of others.

Who is the Enemy?

Enemies in Funeral Service

Are we the enemy?

10 Tips for Creating A “Stay” Culture

The Cremation Logs Blog

Categories

Archives

Quick Links