I had the honor of attending the 106th Cremation Innovation Annual Convention in Chicago, Illinois, thanks to the scholarship myself and four other deathcare professionals received from the Funeral Service Foundation. As a somewhat seasoned deathcare professional and educator, I value and continuously seek opportunities to expand my knowledge, skills, and offerings to the communities I serve.  Attending last year’s convention, hosted by the Cremation Association of North America, empowered me to do just that.

Throughout the two days of the convention, there were several moving and empowering Continuing Education opportunities hosted by speakers who reignited the "fire in my belly." A few that immediately come to mind are Becoming a Leader of Influence (Robbie Page), Death Becomes Her – The Changing Demographics of Funeral Service Practitioners (Jolena Grande), Cybersecurity Awareness: Recognizing a Threat and Protecting Your Data (Lee Hovermale), and The Eternal Value of Cremation Memorialization/Avoiding Mistakes of the Past: Cremated Remains Belong in Cemeteries (Jason Engler). Each of these sessions provided attendees with the latest developments, trends, and best practices in our industry, highlighting innovative solutions and research that allow us to stay ahead of the curve.

While exploring the exhibit floor, I had the honor of meeting numerous vendors who shared not only their respective products and services but also their hearts and stories. The boutique style of the convention allowed attendees to spend time chatting with and getting to know each vendor. During these interactions, vendors not only shared their knowledge about the companies they represented but also their personal stories of connection to their brands and their own experiences with death, grief, and end-of-life decision-making.

This was unique for me because, in many cases, the usual hustle and bustle of conventions does not allow for this type of connection. The conversational atmosphere removed the nagging sales pressure that often accompanies these kinds of interactions and events. I felt more organically connected to human beings rather than feeling like the next sales conquest.

One of the most unique and engaging parts of the CANA 106th Cremation Innovation Convention was that it was all a game. Literally. The presentations, educational sessions, and vendor interactions were part of a game meticulously planned to encourage attendees to network, meet new people, and learn new things—all while earning points through the convention app. Ultimately, participants had the chance to win amazing prizes. While I did end up in the #1 spot with over 18,000 points, beating out some very worthy opponents, every attendee who participated walked away a winner.

This convention exceeded my expectations in many positive ways, especially in its intimate nature. The CANA organizers and leadership have done an exceptional job at mastering the essence of "less is more." Many times, attending a conference or convention can be overwhelming due to the masses of people, adrenaline, enormous venues, and the pressure to "buy now" (especially for an introverted person like me). This was not the case at the 106th Cremation Innovation Convention. Instead, it felt like a group of colleagues, both old and new, coming together to celebrate our sacred work, letting our hair down over drinks, and learning about what’s happening in our beloved field. I will be back again.

Joél Simone Maldonado, aka The Grave Woman, is a licensed funeral director, embalmer, pre-planning specialist, award-winning deathcare educator, sacred grief practitioner, and proud founder of The Multicultural Death & Grief Care Academy. She specializes in educating professionals about the importance of cultural competency, inclusion, and diversity in end-of-life, death, and grief care.

Joél has worked in the deathcare industry since 2010 and has over 15 years of experience in the healthcare industry. She currently serves on the Board of Directors for Compassion & Choices, co-chairs the board’s Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion committee, and volunteers with the organization’s African American Leadership Council.

Her passion is educating through open and honest conversations about the multicultural nuances of death and grief care via her courses, podcast, YouTube channel, and social media platforms. Joél is dedicated to continuously enhancing her personal cultural intelligence, competency, and skills through participation in various post-collegiate entrepreneurship, development, and leadership programs, including earning her CQ certification through the Cultural Intelligence Center.

The 2024 Deathcare Superconference in Seattle was more than just another industry event—it was the culmination of an evolving conversation that began in an airport and carried into the heart of the Pacific Northwest this past September. This event marked a pivotal moment in deathcare, as the rise of death doulas and community deathcare groups is challenging the traditional landscape of funeral services. With recent legal cases and potential changes to federal regulations placing a spotlight on the industry, we find ourselves at a crossroads—a moment of both disruption and opportunity.

We are witnessing a shift from the "old guard" to the "new guard," a transformation that demands careful thought and collaboration. At its core, the conference was about unification. This is not a battle of opposing sides but rather an invitation to come together to shape the future of deathcare in a way that honors history while embracing innovation.

The idea for the 2024 Superconference took shape over a year ago when representatives from various deathcare nonprofits began meeting regularly. We recognized that too often, we were working in silos, despite overlapping missions and goals. Our vision for the conference was to create a space where diverse voices—attendees and speakers alike—could engage in discussions about the most pressing issues in deathcare today. Topics included legal challenges, affordability, diversity, equity, inclusion (DEI), and innovative models of care.

Rather than just talk about change, we aimed to present real-life examples of organizations putting these principles into practice. The event served not just as a symposium but as an incubator for ideas that will be put into action in the coming years. With plans to hold the Superconference biennially, the intervening years will serve as a time for implementation, evaluation, and continued dialogue.

As one of the planners of the event, I embraced my role as an active listener to this movement—one committed to practical solutions, not just ideas. Among the many thought-provoking discussions, two stood out as particularly impactful to help bridge the gap between tradition and transformation:

The Deathcare Superconference was not just an event, it was the beginning of an ongoing movement. To keep the momentum going, we encourage deathcare professionals, advocates, and anyone invested in the future of this field to take action:

The Deathcare Superconference was a launchpad for high-level discussions, but its true success will be measured by the actions we take moving forward. By working together, embracing change, and advocating for ethical and inclusive practices, we can create a more compassionate and sustainable future for a more inclusive, accessible, and consumer-focused deathcare landscape.

Ashley Johnson, President of the National End-of-Life Doula Alliance, is a passionate advocate for compassionate and informed end-of-life care. A University of Florida alumna and licensed celebrant, Ashley’s journey began in a low-income neighborhood, inspiring her to address disparities in death care. With over a decade of experience in fields like forensic anthropology and whole-body donation, she founded Loyal Hands, an end-of-life doula consulting agency offering education, resources, and support.  Ashley’s leadership extends to memberships in CANA, ICCFA, and the Florida Palliative Care Coalition, and she has served as NEDA’s board secretary since 2020. A dedicated community volunteer, she directs events like "Get Your Rear in Gear" for colon cancer awareness and contributes to PsychArmor’s veteran care initiatives. With a Nonprofit Management Certificate and roles with Compassion & Choices, Ashley is a TEDx speaker committed to equity and inclusivity in end-of-life care.

There have been moments throughout my career as a funeral director, sacred grief care practitioner and educator that have been utterly heart shattering. Surprisingly, many of these moments stem not from the revolving door of death and grief I have witnessed and supported countless families and communities through, but instead from the lack of consideration, honor and inclusion extended to multicultural and marginalized communities. Such incidents have reinforced a painful truth: that the deathcare industry and the professionals who serve within our funeral homes, crematories and cemeteries are falling short and missing the mark when it comes to cultural competency.

The most recent, and probably the most heartbreaking, conversation I’ve had with someone who unfortunately was on the receiving end of our industry’s lack of cultural competency took place randomly while my husband and I were shopping at our local Sam’s Club. I asked the young woman assisting us at the cell phone carrier kiosk what her tattoo represented. She proceeded to share with me that her best friend of 20+ years had recently passed away. She and some of their close friends chose to get a tattoo because they couldn’t express their cultural rituals at the funeral. They felt the need to do something that connected them spiritually and culturally.

Naturally, my ears perked up and I asked her why they couldn’t attend. She shared that the family had requested that they be able to end her friend’s funeral with his casket being escorted out of the funeral home’s chapel led by a mariachi band comprised of relatives and loved ones. They were denied this final rite of passage and told both by their funeral directors and the funeral home manager that their request posed a liability and threat to their building’s insurance.

Fighting back tears and choking on her words, this grieving kiosk employee described the family’s humiliation, dehumanization and embarrassment at being told that their desire to perform this sacred ritual and ceremony for their deceased son was a liability. They felt small and unseen. As a result, they wanted to move their loved one’s body to a funeral home that would allow them the freedom to express their culture.

Unfortunately, because of the lack of diversity in the area in which they live and because there was no one to advocate for them (combined with the fact that they simply did not have the money, emotional stamina or energy to relive the funeral arrangement process), this family was stuck paying for services that did not honor their cultural needs and didn’t leave them feeling as if they were served with dignity. Sadly, this story is not unique and represents an area for growth and redirection that our industry and the professionals in it should take to heart.

Early on in my mortuary school journey it became very evident to me – as it does for many students –  that there is little to no education specific to caring for diverse communities as it relates to both the cultural rites and the unique needs of bodies of indigenous peoples and communities of color. This realization was made even more real while I worked as an apprentice.

One memorable day, I walked in on a seasoned professional cutting the box braids (see below) from the hair of a deceased Black woman whose family requested that her braids be removed so her hair could be styled differently for her viewing and service. Unbeknownst to the embalmer, by cutting off the braids close to her scalp, he was in turn cutting off all of her hair, effectively maiming her presentation for the viewing and violating the spiritual sacredness attached to her hair.

His actions were not carried out with ill intent, and he expressed deep remorse when I stopped and educated him. However, had I not stopped him, his lack of cultural knowledge and technical skill could have had a profoundly negative and irreparable impact on our firm, reputation and – most importantly –  on the family and community of the deceased.

Stories like these, centered around inappropriate and offensive language, lack of awareness and lack of cultural humility are frustrating and heartbreaking, but they have also motivated and inspired me to develop The Multicultural Death & Grief Care Academy. The Academy provides resources, courses and training specifically for end-of-life, death and grief care professionals. Our mission is simple: To empower professionals to better serve decedents, families and communities alike with cultural competence and sensitivity.

The Cultural Kaleidoscope course series shows funeral professionals that a mariachi band processing the casket is not merely creative personalization but an important cultural rite that makes an impact on a community’s final farewell. By challenging fixed or outdated perspectives, each course in this series helps foster open, honest conversations about the diverse ways different cultures approach end of life, death, grief and mourning to building culturally competent deathcare professionals.

The Dignity in Death series focuses on our care of Black decedents with 10 courses covering the unique hair and cosmetic techniques to cultural and spiritual considerations that ensure that we can build a deeper understanding of Black body care traditions, improve their services, and ensure families receive the highest level of care during one of the most important moments in their lives. Practical courses like Removing Braids, Twist & Extensions and Properly Caring for Locs & Twist expand technical skills in the prep room to ensure dignity for the deceased and positive outcomes for our communities and our firm.

By embracing cultural competency, we not only transform the way families experience loss but we, as an industry and as professionals, ensure that every farewell is met with dignity, respect, and the deep honor that every life and culture deserves.

Joél Simone Maldonado, widely known as The Grave Woman, is a licensed funeral director, embalmer, pre-planning specialist, and the award-winning founder of The Multicultural Death & Grief Care Academy. With over a decade in the death care industry and more than 15 years in healthcare, Joél is a recognized leader in educating professionals on Cultural Competency, Inclusion, and Diversity in end-of-life care. She serves on the Board of Directors for Compassion and Choices, co-chairs its Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion committee, and volunteers with the African American Leadership Council. Through courses, her podcast, YouTube channel, and social media, Joél fosters open dialogues on the nuances of multicultural death and grief care. Committed to personal growth, she continually hones her skills and cultural intelligence, including earning her CQ certification from the Cultural Intelligence Center and engaging in advanced entrepreneurship, development, and leadership programs.

A quick search on Google about horror stories in the office yields results that are often related to the work environment, company culture, and, worse, their manager. The workforce has had much to say about how managers and leaders handle their teams.

They have every right to – after all, your employees are the backbone of your company. Without them, business owners, especially those who have only just entered their respective industries, can face insurmountable challenges in operations, service delivery, and customer relationships, among others.

As such, it is essential for startup and well-established companies to invest in management training that matters. Regardless of experience, managers are expected to refresh their skillset and knowledge base in order to adapt to the new demands of the workforce.

Management education and training provides you with the tools you need to not only hire the best people for your team but also take advantage of every new talent you add to your company. If you need more reasons as to why you should be getting management training, then this article is for you. It will show you what proper management can do in hopes of emphasizing that learning is an essential part of being an effective leader.

Over the past few years, the workforce has become increasingly diverse as technology has made it possible for people all over the world to connect with each other.

For managers, this trend can mean one of two things. For one, the increased diversity could pose unexpected challenges due to differences in culture, perspective, and work ethic.

However, with the proper management skills, company leaders can maximize this diversity to bring out your team's potential for innovation, which is an invaluable asset in an era of knowledge and technology.

You can motivate them to grab the opportunities instead of waiting for it to happen, become more assertive, and hone themselves into becoming future leaders. A good manager can also empower their team, which not only increases their productivity but also their reliability and sense of responsibility.

An incompetent manager can be detrimental to your team's productivity and creativity. Your employees may find themselves bogged down by inefficient processes, fatigue, and job dissatisfaction – factors that can increase your attrition and causing your company to lose the money you've invested for their hiring, training, and onboarding.

Management training helps you identify the signs and prevent the problem before it can happen. It can teach you what to do during coaching and one-on-one sessions as well as any other employee interaction you may have.

As a result, it can ensure that you're inspiring employee loyalty instead of inviting resignation letters to land on your desk.

Once you have a workforce that you can rely on, the next thing you may want as a manager is to ensure that you're doing things right on the business side of things.

Proper management training teaches you how to devise better business strategies that can benefit you in the short- and long-term. Such strategies may have something to do with your workforce, like what, when, and why you should implement an effective rewards system.

It may also teach you how to identify the market you want, reach the customers you need, and keep them coming back to your company for your products and services. The best training modules out there might also include how to handle finances, which is a key responsibility of leaders.

Imagine if you had a workforce that you have to replace every once in a while because people don't want to keep working for you. As a leader, this scenario means that you have to keep hiring people, investing in training over and over again. It also means that you have no one to rely on but yourself.

If you want to start focusing on growing your business, then consider getting management training for the simple fact that it ensures that you're hiring and training a team that will be with you throughout your growth as a company.

It also enables you to delegate tasks, which is something you'll find yourself grateful for when growing inevitably means more paperwork, tasks, and decisions. Having the knowledge and skills necessary to achieve this is essential for startups, especially if you want to hit the ground running.

As a general rule of thumb, remember this: happy workforce, happy leader. If your team spends their time trying to come up with efficient strategies and thinking up solutions to your problems, it's more than likely that you, as a manager, are leading an empowered team that can support the growth of your company. Invest in management training because your workforce is as much an asset as it is your capital.

Building a pet aftercare business presents a unique opportunity to have a meaningful impact on a family during a time of loss and transition. That’s why pet aftercare professionals must uphold the highest level of dignity, compassion, and professionalism in their work.

The journey of becoming a pet aftercare professional is not just a career choice; it's a deeply emotional path. It's about forming a strong connection with pet families and showing unwavering dedication. This role requires not only technical expertise but also deep empathy.

My family's venture into the pet aftercare profession stemmed from a strong desire to offer comfort and respect to grieving pet parents. As a third-generation deathcare family, we are dedicated to carrying on the legacy that my father, Doyle L. Shugart, began in 1972. Providing support to pet parents and the pet aftercare professional community continues to bring fulfillment and purpose to our family today.

According to the Pew Research Center, 97% of U.S. pet owners say their pets are part of their family. About half (51%) say they are as much a part of their family as a human member. Given those statistics, it is imperative that pet aftercare professionals provide services and experiences that don’t just meet the needs of pet parents seeking aftercare but exceed their expectations.

The role of pet aftercare professionals is not just about providing a service, but about being a supportive guide through the journey of grief. To maintain the highest standards when delivering these sensitive services, the International Association of Pet Cemeteries and Crematories (IAOPCC) develops professional certification programs that address the unique aspects of pet loss and aftercare. Our work with CANA has been essential in bringing those programs to our industry, raising the standard for pet aftercare professionals.

Understanding the specific benefits of certifications in the pet aftercare industry and how they contribute to better care for pets and their grieving families is vital when exploring the pet aftercare sector. Acquiring those certifications can significantly improve the quality of your pet services, help you grow your business, and unlock the full potential of your staff.

As the Executive Director of the IAOPCC for 14 years and a pet aftercare professional for more than 36 years, I have seen our industry undergo many changes and evolve. In a largely self-regulated industry, I have been privileged to work with and learn from pioneers in pet aftercare. The development of the IAOPCC’s Accreditation Program is the industry’s only approved program with published and recommended standards and best practices for pet aftercare. These Accreditation standards, processes, and inspection programs are followed and recognized worldwide as a symbol of care and service to families in grief.

The IAOPCC Certification programs offer best practices and ethical considerations unique to the pet aftercare industry. Through our many levels of Pet Bereavement and Pet Funeral Director Programs, participants are introduced to strategies for working with grieving pet families, responding to difficult situations, preparing a pet for witness viewing and cremation service, answering the tough questions about pet death, and responding to ethical dilemmas common to the pet aftercare world.

Professional certifications in the pet aftercare industry are more than just credentials; they represent a commitment to high standards, ethical practices, and compassionate care directly related to pet families. For pet aftercare professionals, these certifications validate their expertise and dedication. By upholding these high standards, certified pet aftercare professionals contribute to a respectful and supportive community, making a meaningful difference in the lives of those who have lost a cherished furry member of their family.

Donna Shugart-Bethune is part of the Shugart Family operations of Pet Angel Memorial Centers in Georgia. The Shugart Family has been in the pet aftercare profession for over 53 years.  Pet Angel Memorial Centers operates four locations and two pet cemeteries specializing in pet and equine cremation services and burial.  Considered one of the nation's premier pet funeral homes, the Pet Angel Memorial Center, located in Atlanta, features three counseling rooms, two chapels, and the largest showroom in the nation, offering more than 450 pet memorial products. Offering same-day services, viewings, and visitations, along with superior client care, Pet Angel Memorial Center has led the way in establishing excellence in pet aftercare.

Donna, who grew up in the Shugart family business, pursued her Bachelor of Business Administration (BBA) from Georgia State University. With 36 years of experience in the pet aftercare industry, she has been the Executive Director of the International Association Of Pet Cemeteries & Crematories (IAOPCC) for over 13 years. Donna played a crucial role in developing the IAOPCC's online certification programs, which are available today. She also introduced digital badging certification programs for IAOPCC members and implemented the Accreditation Mobile App Program, providing worldwide access to Accreditation.

One of the greatest challenges to surviving a suicide death loss and moving forward in one’s grief is the prevalent and damaging stigma that continues to be associated with this cause of death. This stigma is complicated by public misunderstanding of suicide, long-held myths about suicide, and the problematic language used to talk about suicide and the deceased. Moving forward with a suicide death loss is one of the most difficult experiences we may face in our lives, but if we can begin to unpack and understand the roots of the stigma that clings to suicide in our culture, we may become more empowered to challenge them and attain some healing in our personal bereavement. 

In my own scholarly work on suicide, I have identified what are perhaps the four most common cultural myths that are imposed on survivors of suicide loss, which reinforce stigmas and harm our individual grieving processes. Exposing these attitudes for the myths they are may allow us to better honor our loved ones’ lives while also reinforcing facts over fiction to others who are also affected by suicide.

Not all suicide deaths are resultant of what we clinically term “depression.” It is also important to remember that while everyone may feel depressed from time to time, perhaps following the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, the end to a romantic relationship, or other losses, clinical depression is not the same as situational depressed feelings, nor does one necessarily grow out of the other. Today, we must recognize that not all suicide deaths are linked so easily to clinical depression or, even for persons suffering from clinical depression, to that depression alone. Leading to a suicide attempt, there are a multitude of pressures at work on an individual, both social (including cultural, environmental, and interpersonal) as well as psychological (including one’s personal and familial mental health history, one’s losses, and one’s coping mechanisms for responding to suffering and trauma), and often biological (including chronic or life-threatening medical conditions, chemical imbalances, and effects of medications).

If your loved one died of suicide, it is natural for you to try to trace the components of their life that may have impacted their suicidality and led to their death. We want answers, and we may think that we need those answers to move on with our lives. Coming to terms with the impossibility of fully answering the question of “why?” is a hard realization, but it can begin to allow you to accept that you will never know fully exactly why the death occurred. 

Because suicide continues to be an act surrounded by attempts to place blame, whether on the deceased, his or her family or romantic partner, or the medical community, if we seek less to find an outlet for blame and more to identify contributory forces on the individual, we may recognize that someone who has died of suicide was trapped in their pain and unable to see any other way out of their pain. Suicidal people do not want to die; they want to end their suffering. To treat suicide as a “quick fix” or “easy way out,” as is often done, is a failure to recognize the pain from which our loved one suffered. While we all experience pain, loss, and obstacles in our lives, individuals who die of suicide were not able to respond to their pain in healthy ways – often due to the same biopsychosocial forces that led to their suicidality. 

After a suicide loss, we might become frustrated by all the options we believe that our loved one had to receive help. We might become angry at them or others for not getting the help that we think could have kept them alive. Recognizing that suicide is the product of a mind that isn’t working right can help us understand that while we can identify objective sources of assistance, in late-stage suicidality, our loved one’s mind genuinely could not see those possibilities anymore.

Historically, it was believed that if one spoke openly about the suicide death of a family or community member, they would risk “infecting” themselves or others by presenting suicide as an option. We still see effects of this misguided theory today; for example, we rarely, if ever, see the word “suicide” in an obituary or hear it at a memorial service for one who has died of suicide. Similarly, school communities are divided between communicating effectively with their students about the loss of a student to suicide and remaining fearful of romanticizing the death and presenting it as a possible “way out” for other students. Although this theory has been reexamined over the last decade and the idea that suicide is “infectious” is well on its way to being disproven, the idea that one can contract suicide from another person, as one would a virus or bacterial infection, still circulates in our contemporary culture. 

We need to resist remaining silent about suicide and our own suicide losses. It is not contagious, and without open and accurate conversations about it, including in memorialization, silence will continue to function as a way of shaming survivors and cultivating more silence around these deaths. The suicide death of your loved one was the endpoint of their unique and extraordinary life, not the totality of their life. They deserve that their pain be acknowledged along with their accomplishments. Additionally, other people living with suicidality need to know that they can break silences about their suffering. Talking about suicide is more likely to lead to those people seeking help rather than suffering in silence.  

One of the most dangerous ways in which we bar understanding of those who have died of suicide is to treat their means of death as a personal failure. Historically-inherited cultural norms teach members of our society that a person who died of suicide was weak, cowardly, and uncaring about their loved ones. In reality, as the result of many social, psychological, and biological factors that have nothing to do with “giving up” or “choosing death,” suicide is not about cowardice; it isn’t about weakness. Representations of people who die of suicide as being less strong or less caring of others are not only false but harmful to their survivors and to their own legacy. 

No one asks to become suicidal; no one hopes that suicidality will develop in them, just as no one wishes for a cancer to develop in them. Persons who attempt and die of suicide often report beforehand feeling ambivalent toward life and death, due to their suffering. Many cannot see or understand the impact their death will have on their loved ones, much in the same way that they cannot see options other than suicide in ending their pain. Anyone who lives for any length of time with exacerbating suicidality in a culture that shames suicidality is anything but a coward.

While the above myths are but a few of the many that suicide loss survivors face, sometimes on a daily basis, we also need to confront the ways in which our culture reinforces stigma through the language used to refer to suicide and those who suffer from it. Let’s consider conventional terminology: people say that “John killed himself” or “John committed suicide”; both of these statements show nothing but ignorance for the complexity and devastation of suicidal pain, rendering someone who died of a life-threatening condition a virtual criminal. Within our cultural context, we “commit” crimes – murder, theft, robbery. If we “kill,” our cultural values demand that we ought to be punished.  Criminalizing suicide through language is a barrier to understanding the pain of the suicidal individual. 

Your loved one did not commit a crime; they do not deserve cultural or interpersonal degradation in language. They died of suicide, which is a cause of death that can be acute, chronic, or life-threatening, like many other causes of death. Their death was not an act of free will produced by a healthy mind but a tragic result of complex pain.   

Today, families are seeking new, creative options for their funerals, and green values are a key influence. As the world becomes more eco-conscious, people are taking steps to do right by the environment wherever they can – and taking those values to the grave. So, your environmentally-friendly families are growing in number, but there’s no single, right way to serve them. Finding attractive options for your families and your business can leave you with a lot of questions and ideas, but not a lot of solutions and plans.

The 2022 Green Funeral Conference brought together funeral professionals from across the spectrum of green funeral practice at the Sandia Resort & Casino in Albuquerque, New Mexico over September 13-15, 2022. Hosted by CANA and Passages International, more than 50 funeral professionals from across the country – from all stages of their careers, a variety of backgrounds, and representing many different businesses – attended to get ideas on incorporating green practices into their operations. Whether that’s expanding cemetery offerings, adding new disposition techniques, or considering new products, everyone left inspired to serve their communities in new ways.
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We’ve condensed the insights from presenters and discussion into a downloadable pdf to help you explore ways to incorporate eco-conscious values into funeral services. Here’s some highlights:

CANA Executive Director Barbara Kemmis led participants through an interactive presentation and discussion about common language regarding green funeral practices.
Key Takeaways:

• Terms like conventional or traditional burial are being reclaimed by natural and green burial practitioners for the simple fact that these practices have been used throughout human history.
• Participants preferred using environmentally-friendly, as opposed to the terms green or eco-friendly, to encompass the spectrum of options for burial which may include or forego the casket, liner, embalming and more.
• They noted the commonalities of cremation, alkaline hydrolysis, and natural organic reduction are the reduction of human remains in a facility and a vessel/chamber and quicker than any type of burial. However, both the manner and results of the processes are uniquely different from a practitioner standpoint. These similarities and differences require further consumer – and practitioner – education.
• While the accurate term for the bone fragments remaining after a cremation of a body is cremated remains, the general public still uses the word ashes. Cremation professionals agreed that mirroring that language to connect and not correct during conversations is valid, but it can cause confusion when what’s returned to the family does not resemble fireplace ashes. Similarly, the use of the term alternative container begs the question “alternative to what?” and causes the need for more consumer education.
• Participants all agreed that language matters, and engaging in conversation about these terms with the profession and in education to the community is important. Having these conversations now helps funeral professionals find commonality and agreement to move positively toward the future and avoid the mistakes of the past which created division and defensiveness.

Want to keep reading? Download the Insights from the 2022 Green Funeral Conference paper now and kick-off the conversation in your business!

Consumers are choosing environmentally-friendly solutions for a variety of reasons: concern for the environment, enthusiasm for innovative ideas, the desire to do something new or to adhere to cultural or religious tradition going back centuries. The variety of reasons is only outnumbered by the variety of options for them to personalize their experience. As a funeral professional dedicated to serving your community where they are, you will meet people across the green spectrum. Being informed about these practices is why they chose you to offer guidance and expertise in their funeral plans. 

Be sure to mark your calendars for February 14-16, 2024 when we resume the green conversation at CANA’s 2024 Symposium in Las Vegas! There, CANA will bring together expert practitioners, innovative suppliers, and curious professionals to continue exploring and discovering environmentally-friendly options and how we can make a difference in our communities.

Imagine you’re at CANA’s 105th Convention in Washington, D.C., listening to a session you’ve been looking forward to for months. The presenter is known for their excellent communication skills. How do you picture this scene?
If we think about the three types of communication – verbal, nonverbal and written – then:

1. Verbal communication. When communicating verbally, you use your words and tone of voice to share information with others. If the speaker is a great verbal communicator, you might hear them clearly pronouncing their words, telling a straightforward story and emphasizing key points.
2. Nonverbal communication. Nonverbal messages include your body language, facial expressions, physical appearance and actions. If they are a skilled nonverbal communicator, you might see them dressed sharply, standing tall on the stage and pairing facial expressions and gestures with words.
3. Written communication. Written messages are text-based and communicate meaning when read. If they are a great written communicator, you might see their points clearly summarized in their presentation or read a concise and persuasive email recap in your inbox.

Just like this presenter, you can become a more skilled communicator by using verbal, nonverbal and written communication effectively.

So what are some key considerations when you’re working to improve your communication? Let’s look at the same types of communication again:

VERBAL

“HithankyouforcallingABCFuneralHomemynameisJames”

Their first response to that greeting might be along the lines of, “…um?” – not an engaging start.

When the ringing phone has interrupted something we’re doing, it can take a moment to shift gears. But you shouldn’t let your communications suffer for it. Pause and take a deep breath to ready yourself for the call. Adopt a warm tone and speak slowly and confidently to tell them you’re present and engaged. Your tone should match your message and make your first impression the right one. Not to brag, but I’ve often been confused for a pre-recorded message when I answer the phone. Sure, it means people often start pressing buttons in my ear, but I know they’re convinced of my professionalism!

NONVERBAL
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Even if you’re not paying attention, your actions will communicate meaning. Be aware of your gestures, facial expressions, clothing and body language. Pair these nonverbal cues with your words to make your message and meaning clear.
And even when you’re not actively communicating, your body can give the impression of attentiveness, interest and confidence. Try sitting up straight and keeping your body language open by uncrossing your arms and legs.
Still need to be convinced? Get a little help from Friends:

WRITTEN

​“Thnak you for meeting w/me today. I look foward to serving you famly.” 
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Even if you had a productive meeting with the client-family, you could ruin your credibility if you sent a follow-up riddled with errors. Always re-read before sending, keep communications brief but clear, and have a plan before you start writing so you remember everything that needs to be included.

Without thinking about it, funeral professionals might use jargon and euphemisms to be accurate and convey dignity and professionalism. Unfortunately, families often use different words, and this can lead to misunderstandings. When using verbal and written communication, take time to think about your phrasing and always use language the family is comfortable with.
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The difference between ashes and cremated remains is the most common example in cremation. While we use cremated remains to distinguish between chimney ash and the bone fragments following cremation – plus the emotional distinction between wood and a loved one – a family is less aware of what to expect.  Not to mention operational terms like first call and casket can require additional clarification and sensitivity to what clients know about funeral service. We don’t need to correct their language or word choice. We should mirror their language and, as appropriate, respectfully share the professional term to describe what they can expect.

By using these three types of communication more effectively, you can become a more skilled communicator. Here’s a helpful checklist of questions to ask yourself:

• Verbal: Am I speaking slowly and confidently? Am I staying on topic? Does my tone of voice match my message?
• Nonverbal: Does my body language and appearance match my message? Am I pairing my nonverbal cues with spoken words? Are my gestures open and friendly?
• Written: Did I plan out my writing? Is my message clear and concise? Did I proofread my work for correct grammar, spelling and punctuation?

The best part about practicing your communication is that you don’t have to wait until you’re at the arrangement table. You can see how approaching the check-out counter with an open expression and eye-contact changes the interaction at the register. You can cut back on your *darn autocorrect messages by taking that extra second to re-read before sending. Effective communication makes a difference throughout your life!

Whether it’s on the phone with a price shopper, around the arrangement table with a grieving family, or in the breakroom with a colleague, empathy is at the root of successful communication.

Communicating with empathy requires that we listen before we speak, acknowledge what we’ve heard, and validate the other person’s emotions to let them know they’re not alone. Empathy opens the door to conversations built on respect, truth and collaboration. And when we cultivate these characteristics, we can improve team collaboration and cohesion, create higher levels of trust with our customers, and more effectively resolve conflicts. Doesn’t that sound like a powerful force for effective communication?

Communicating with empathy starts when we slow down. Taking time to listen and withhold judgment allows us to give our focus on the other person.

Here are four key pieces of the empathetic listening process:

1. PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING.
“Have you ever wondered why we have two eyes, two ears and only one mouth?” This old chestnut is such a universal concept, we can’t even attribute it to one person. The answer, of course, is because we need to listen and observe twice as much as we speak. Unlike hearing, which is automatic, listening takes work. This isn’t just the time spent waiting before you can speak – this is the time to show respect. By focusing on understanding, paying close attention and showing the speaker you’re engaged, you can strengthen your listening skills and become a better communicator.

2. ACKNOWLEDGE AND PARAPHRASE WHAT YOU’VE HEARD.
Let the person know you’ve heard them. For the benefit of others in the conversation as well as yourself, test your understanding by summarizing what you’ve heard. Paraphrasing shows that you care enough to check your understanding – plus you can double-check that it was really Uncle Frank’s ex’s sister’s granddaughter who spilled the punch at the wedding (and not his granddaughter – whoops!). Then, ask relevant questions that show you’re paying attention and you want to learn more.

3. VALIDATE THE OTHER PERSON.
In every conversation, but especially on the phone, it’s important to reassure the speaker that you’re there. Without interrupting, give brief and positive prompts like “Uh-huh” and “Mm-hmm” so they know you’re with them. Then, when it is time for you to speak, first acknowledge what they said by validating their feelings. We know grief is as unique as the life lived, and the feelings associated with this conversation will be unique, too. The speaker is sharing their truth, and this is your time to honor it. Whatever they’re feeling, let them know it’s normal and they’re not alone.

4. OFFER SUPPORT.
Support can come in many forms. You’re already well on your way by listening and validating their experience. Sometimes someone may want your advice or assistance, but you can never assume. It’s tempting to try to fix the problem, but sometimes a person just wants to feel heard. They want to feel less alone.

Have you ever chatted with automated tech support and gotten generic responses that don’t address your actual issue? It’s infuriating not to feel heard by a human! As a professional who has seen hundreds of memorial services, it may feel natural to jump in immediately and offer to support them with that experience—but this is their moment, not yours. Give them time to detail their situation and make sure you understand it. Rather than offering ideas right away, let the person know that you’re listening and that you’re ready to answer questions. This sets up the spirit of collaboration and personalization that your experience can bring. By offering support rather than giving it un-asked, you’re telling the other person that not only do you understand, but you also care.

Empathy means stepping into someone else’s shoes—but what happens when the shoe doesn’t fit? An empathy roadblock is anything that gets in the way of our understanding. These barriers can form when we’re too absorbed in our own lives to carry through with the process outlined above, or when we simply can’t relate to another person. If our experiences are too different, or if we have polarized views on a topic or situation, it’s difficult to express empathy. We let our judgments, outlooks and egos get in the way of our understanding. 

Whether or not they’re intentional, these barriers cause us to shut others out. And, as a result, others may close themselves off to us. When we give in to empathy roadblocks, we obstruct our ability to both understand and be understood. We block our ability to communicate effectively.

When communicating with others and facing these blocks, ask yourself: 

• Are there any distractions getting in the way of my understanding?
• Am I jumping to conclusions?
• Am I more focused on debating rather than understanding?
• Do I need to overcome any biases about this person?

Communicating with empathy takes practice, and it won’t happen overnight. Fortunately, you don’t have to wait until you’re sitting at the arrangement table! Skills like active listening work just as well on the phone with your family as they do with a price shopper. Validating is just as important at the dinner table when you’re rehashing the day as it is at the arrangement table. Paraphrasing can iron out the details at the mechanic and at the chapel. And CANA is here to offer support, you just have to ask!

We don't have time to question everything, of course, but I want to motivate you to question what you do and why you do it, and the impact that it has on your business. And—most importantly—the impact it has on your families.

I am a second-generation funeral director and embalmer from a really, really small town in Indiana. I've been licensed since 2005. I grew up in the funeral home with no intention of going into funeral service. But, as I got to see my father and understand what he was doing, I knew what he was doing was important and I wanted to be a part of that.

One of the things I heard from my father was “We bury our dead and we burn our trash.” And, as a young man, I didn't understand that, because Dad didn't own a cemetery and he didn't own the crematory. So, I started questioning that.

I thought, “What do you care? You want the phone to ring. You want to help a family.” But this was the mindset of so many funeral directors of that generation: “Cremation is our enemy. When a family says cremation, that's the only thing they want. That's it.” Those men lived in a time of cremation only, but from day one, that's never been my experience. So I questioned how we interacted with our families, and I wanted to get better.

I wanted to get better because, as a young funeral director, you find yourself in awkward situations that you didn't ask for. Families love to ask questions—and we want them to ask questions. But when you're a young, ignorant kid you don't know what to do when you're put on the spot with a question that you don't know how to answer. I never had someone tell me, “When you get a question that you don't know the answer to, just say, ‘I don't know, but I'll find out for you.’” That makes someone feel pretty good. You're going to help them. You're going to find out – it may take you five minutes, it may take you more—but you're going to help.

We have made this unbelievable commitment that we are going to care for living and the dead, and we're going to do it simultaneously. As a young funeral director, I always wondered: what makes a good funeral director? And it's one of those things that is always evolving.

I'm constantly adding to that amount of information that I have that helps me help families. And no matter how much knowledge we have about the funeral business or running a business or death or grief or all that stuff, what families really need is just another human being to listen. Another human being to be there, to support them and to support their decisions. We don't see that across all funeral service.

I am using a story I heard from someone who chartered a fishing boat. He mentioned that his boat captain was on the radio with other boat captains, and they were talking about where the fish are. They've all got paying clients. They all want them to have a good time. They all want them to fish. But these competing businesses are on the horn to each other, telling each other where the fish are biting today.

Conversely, there's other captains out there and they're not going to talk to the competitors. You've hired them for a boat ride and you're going to get a boat ride. And that's all you’re going to get. But other businesses who are competing are out there trying to satisfy their clients. When it comes to funeral service, we may call a buddy for help. We may call a funeral home to help bring someone home.

Yet, when it comes to service, a family walks in and they say, “Hey, I, saw this really neat thing on the internet you can do with cremated remains. Can you do that?” and I don't know about it. This happens way too much in funeral service where we say, “no, we don't do that here.” And we stop. We don't call out for help. We don't call out to figure out how to do it. Heaven forbid we tell a family, “we don't do that here, but I can find a place for you.”

A buddy of mine was working at this funeral home. When someone came in to pick up mom or dad, they sat across the desk and “there's dad, thanks for coming in. Oh, sign here.” She was mortified that this was what was happening. So, she started to think a little bit, make it a little bit different, make it more of an experience. And she got in trouble. “What are you doing? We don't do that here.” Well, she kept doing it. She just made it a little bit different.

I'd never thought about it. Never questioned it. It was just what we did. I think before I started using mom or dad or brother or whomever, it was “cremated remains. Here you go.” But, I started thinking about it and I was like, I can do better. As a funeral director, I do not want to treat my cremation families any different than burial families. Again, my family, we don't own a cemetery and we don't own a crematory, but I will do both for you, so we got to thinking.

You never know what a family's going to value when they walk in the door. They'll walk in the door and they'll be like, we want a dinner, or we want a kegger. Some families want a funeral procession. Some families want pallbearers, and what’s the answer? You buy a piece of furniture.

I was curious about this product: an urn, an arc, an urn caddy, there’s so many different names. I wanted one of these for years and years, but my father wouldn't let me do it. Finally he got older and stopped stopping me. So we got one, because I didn't want our cremation families to be cut out of some of the things that burial families get, and that some families value.

Now, when it comes to cremation, you have all of the choices in the world.

How do we know it's the right thing to do? The key is to sit down and take the time. Think about it, question it, talk about it. When we'd go on a removal or bring someone into our care, we would get into the hearse afterwards, and we'd start to drive away. And I'd look over and be like, “All right, let's grade ourselves. How do you think we did? How did the communication go? How did the transfer go? Do you think we met their needs?” Didn't even know we were doing it, but we were trying to get better.

If you're not even thinking about what you do, this business can be very routine. You show up, you walk in, you do your work, you go home. It can be that simple. But if your mind gets numb and you're not thinking about what you're doing and trying to improve, you'll never improve.

Just because Dad's been doing it 60 years doesn't mean it's wrong. It may be the best way to do it, but until we test it out, we don't know. And I encourage you to talk with other people about it too. Get outside of your circle, your echo chamber. That is the key.

If you asked me maybe right now, what else do I do? Well, when it comes down to it, all of this is caring for our families, listening to them, and empowering them to do what they need to do. We’re put out to be these money-grubbing, guilt-twisting professionals that will use that emotion to help ourselves. When, as we all know, that is the complete opposite of what we do. We will go the extra mile to help a family. You all do it.

I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. We all work in funeral service. We are equals, but when we go home, all of us are the expert to our communities. Tell your story, tell people what you do, encourage them to have those conversations, be open and approachable. And that's how folks build trust with us.