Building a pet aftercare business presents a unique opportunity to have a meaningful impact on a family during a time of loss and transition. That’s why pet aftercare professionals must uphold the highest level of dignity, compassion, and professionalism in their work.

The journey of becoming a pet aftercare professional is not just a career choice; it's a deeply emotional path. It's about forming a strong connection with pet families and showing unwavering dedication. This role requires not only technical expertise but also deep empathy.

My family's venture into the pet aftercare profession stemmed from a strong desire to offer comfort and respect to grieving pet parents. As a third-generation deathcare family, we are dedicated to carrying on the legacy that my father, Doyle L. Shugart, began in 1972. Providing support to pet parents and the pet aftercare professional community continues to bring fulfillment and purpose to our family today.

According to the Pew Research Center, 97% of U.S. pet owners say their pets are part of their family. About half (51%) say they are as much a part of their family as a human member. Given those statistics, it is imperative that pet aftercare professionals provide services and experiences that don’t just meet the needs of pet parents seeking aftercare but exceed their expectations.

The role of pet aftercare professionals is not just about providing a service, but about being a supportive guide through the journey of grief. To maintain the highest standards when delivering these sensitive services, the International Association of Pet Cemeteries and Crematories (IAOPCC) develops professional certification programs that address the unique aspects of pet loss and aftercare. Our work with CANA has been essential in bringing those programs to our industry, raising the standard for pet aftercare professionals.

Understanding the specific benefits of certifications in the pet aftercare industry and how they contribute to better care for pets and their grieving families is vital when exploring the pet aftercare sector. Acquiring those certifications can significantly improve the quality of your pet services, help you grow your business, and unlock the full potential of your staff.

As the Executive Director of the IAOPCC for 14 years and a pet aftercare professional for more than 36 years, I have seen our industry undergo many changes and evolve. In a largely self-regulated industry, I have been privileged to work with and learn from pioneers in pet aftercare. The development of the IAOPCC’s Accreditation Program is the industry’s only approved program with published and recommended standards and best practices for pet aftercare. These Accreditation standards, processes, and inspection programs are followed and recognized worldwide as a symbol of care and service to families in grief.

The IAOPCC Certification programs offer best practices and ethical considerations unique to the pet aftercare industry. Through our many levels of Pet Bereavement and Pet Funeral Director Programs, participants are introduced to strategies for working with grieving pet families, responding to difficult situations, preparing a pet for witness viewing and cremation service, answering the tough questions about pet death, and responding to ethical dilemmas common to the pet aftercare world.

Professional certifications in the pet aftercare industry are more than just credentials; they represent a commitment to high standards, ethical practices, and compassionate care directly related to pet families. For pet aftercare professionals, these certifications validate their expertise and dedication. By upholding these high standards, certified pet aftercare professionals contribute to a respectful and supportive community, making a meaningful difference in the lives of those who have lost a cherished furry member of their family.

Donna Shugart-Bethune is part of the Shugart Family operations of Pet Angel Memorial Centers in Georgia. The Shugart Family has been in the pet aftercare profession for over 53 years.  Pet Angel Memorial Centers operates four locations and two pet cemeteries specializing in pet and equine cremation services and burial.  Considered one of the nation's premier pet funeral homes, the Pet Angel Memorial Center, located in Atlanta, features three counseling rooms, two chapels, and the largest showroom in the nation, offering more than 450 pet memorial products. Offering same-day services, viewings, and visitations, along with superior client care, Pet Angel Memorial Center has led the way in establishing excellence in pet aftercare.

Donna, who grew up in the Shugart family business, pursued her Bachelor of Business Administration (BBA) from Georgia State University. With 36 years of experience in the pet aftercare industry, she has been the Executive Director of the International Association Of Pet Cemeteries & Crematories (IAOPCC) for over 13 years. Donna played a crucial role in developing the IAOPCC's online certification programs, which are available today. She also introduced digital badging certification programs for IAOPCC members and implemented the Accreditation Mobile App Program, providing worldwide access to Accreditation.

One of the greatest challenges to surviving a suicide death loss and moving forward in one’s grief is the prevalent and damaging stigma that continues to be associated with this cause of death. This stigma is complicated by public misunderstanding of suicide, long-held myths about suicide, and the problematic language used to talk about suicide and the deceased. Moving forward with a suicide death loss is one of the most difficult experiences we may face in our lives, but if we can begin to unpack and understand the roots of the stigma that clings to suicide in our culture, we may become more empowered to challenge them and attain some healing in our personal bereavement. 

In my own scholarly work on suicide, I have identified what are perhaps the four most common cultural myths that are imposed on survivors of suicide loss, which reinforce stigmas and harm our individual grieving processes. Exposing these attitudes for the myths they are may allow us to better honor our loved ones’ lives while also reinforcing facts over fiction to others who are also affected by suicide.

Not all suicide deaths are resultant of what we clinically term “depression.” It is also important to remember that while everyone may feel depressed from time to time, perhaps following the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, the end to a romantic relationship, or other losses, clinical depression is not the same as situational depressed feelings, nor does one necessarily grow out of the other. Today, we must recognize that not all suicide deaths are linked so easily to clinical depression or, even for persons suffering from clinical depression, to that depression alone. Leading to a suicide attempt, there are a multitude of pressures at work on an individual, both social (including cultural, environmental, and interpersonal) as well as psychological (including one’s personal and familial mental health history, one’s losses, and one’s coping mechanisms for responding to suffering and trauma), and often biological (including chronic or life-threatening medical conditions, chemical imbalances, and effects of medications).

If your loved one died of suicide, it is natural for you to try to trace the components of their life that may have impacted their suicidality and led to their death. We want answers, and we may think that we need those answers to move on with our lives. Coming to terms with the impossibility of fully answering the question of “why?” is a hard realization, but it can begin to allow you to accept that you will never know fully exactly why the death occurred. 

Because suicide continues to be an act surrounded by attempts to place blame, whether on the deceased, his or her family or romantic partner, or the medical community, if we seek less to find an outlet for blame and more to identify contributory forces on the individual, we may recognize that someone who has died of suicide was trapped in their pain and unable to see any other way out of their pain. Suicidal people do not want to die; they want to end their suffering. To treat suicide as a “quick fix” or “easy way out,” as is often done, is a failure to recognize the pain from which our loved one suffered. While we all experience pain, loss, and obstacles in our lives, individuals who die of suicide were not able to respond to their pain in healthy ways – often due to the same biopsychosocial forces that led to their suicidality. 

After a suicide loss, we might become frustrated by all the options we believe that our loved one had to receive help. We might become angry at them or others for not getting the help that we think could have kept them alive. Recognizing that suicide is the product of a mind that isn’t working right can help us understand that while we can identify objective sources of assistance, in late-stage suicidality, our loved one’s mind genuinely could not see those possibilities anymore.

Historically, it was believed that if one spoke openly about the suicide death of a family or community member, they would risk “infecting” themselves or others by presenting suicide as an option. We still see effects of this misguided theory today; for example, we rarely, if ever, see the word “suicide” in an obituary or hear it at a memorial service for one who has died of suicide. Similarly, school communities are divided between communicating effectively with their students about the loss of a student to suicide and remaining fearful of romanticizing the death and presenting it as a possible “way out” for other students. Although this theory has been reexamined over the last decade and the idea that suicide is “infectious” is well on its way to being disproven, the idea that one can contract suicide from another person, as one would a virus or bacterial infection, still circulates in our contemporary culture. 

We need to resist remaining silent about suicide and our own suicide losses. It is not contagious, and without open and accurate conversations about it, including in memorialization, silence will continue to function as a way of shaming survivors and cultivating more silence around these deaths. The suicide death of your loved one was the endpoint of their unique and extraordinary life, not the totality of their life. They deserve that their pain be acknowledged along with their accomplishments. Additionally, other people living with suicidality need to know that they can break silences about their suffering. Talking about suicide is more likely to lead to those people seeking help rather than suffering in silence.  

One of the most dangerous ways in which we bar understanding of those who have died of suicide is to treat their means of death as a personal failure. Historically-inherited cultural norms teach members of our society that a person who died of suicide was weak, cowardly, and uncaring about their loved ones. In reality, as the result of many social, psychological, and biological factors that have nothing to do with “giving up” or “choosing death,” suicide is not about cowardice; it isn’t about weakness. Representations of people who die of suicide as being less strong or less caring of others are not only false but harmful to their survivors and to their own legacy. 

No one asks to become suicidal; no one hopes that suicidality will develop in them, just as no one wishes for a cancer to develop in them. Persons who attempt and die of suicide often report beforehand feeling ambivalent toward life and death, due to their suffering. Many cannot see or understand the impact their death will have on their loved ones, much in the same way that they cannot see options other than suicide in ending their pain. Anyone who lives for any length of time with exacerbating suicidality in a culture that shames suicidality is anything but a coward.

While the above myths are but a few of the many that suicide loss survivors face, sometimes on a daily basis, we also need to confront the ways in which our culture reinforces stigma through the language used to refer to suicide and those who suffer from it. Let’s consider conventional terminology: people say that “John killed himself” or “John committed suicide”; both of these statements show nothing but ignorance for the complexity and devastation of suicidal pain, rendering someone who died of a life-threatening condition a virtual criminal. Within our cultural context, we “commit” crimes – murder, theft, robbery. If we “kill,” our cultural values demand that we ought to be punished.  Criminalizing suicide through language is a barrier to understanding the pain of the suicidal individual. 

Your loved one did not commit a crime; they do not deserve cultural or interpersonal degradation in language. They died of suicide, which is a cause of death that can be acute, chronic, or life-threatening, like many other causes of death. Their death was not an act of free will produced by a healthy mind but a tragic result of complex pain.   

Today, families are seeking new, creative options for their funerals, and green values are a key influence. As the world becomes more eco-conscious, people are taking steps to do right by the environment wherever they can – and taking those values to the grave. So, your environmentally-friendly families are growing in number, but there’s no single, right way to serve them. Finding attractive options for your families and your business can leave you with a lot of questions and ideas, but not a lot of solutions and plans.

The 2022 Green Funeral Conference brought together funeral professionals from across the spectrum of green funeral practice at the Sandia Resort & Casino in Albuquerque, New Mexico over September 13-15, 2022. Hosted by CANA and Passages International, more than 50 funeral professionals from across the country – from all stages of their careers, a variety of backgrounds, and representing many different businesses – attended to get ideas on incorporating green practices into their operations. Whether that’s expanding cemetery offerings, adding new disposition techniques, or considering new products, everyone left inspired to serve their communities in new ways.
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We’ve condensed the insights from presenters and discussion into a downloadable pdf to help you explore ways to incorporate eco-conscious values into funeral services. Here’s some highlights:

CANA Executive Director Barbara Kemmis led participants through an interactive presentation and discussion about common language regarding green funeral practices.
Key Takeaways:

• Terms like conventional or traditional burial are being reclaimed by natural and green burial practitioners for the simple fact that these practices have been used throughout human history.
• Participants preferred using environmentally-friendly, as opposed to the terms green or eco-friendly, to encompass the spectrum of options for burial which may include or forego the casket, liner, embalming and more.
• They noted the commonalities of cremation, alkaline hydrolysis, and natural organic reduction are the reduction of human remains in a facility and a vessel/chamber and quicker than any type of burial. However, both the manner and results of the processes are uniquely different from a practitioner standpoint. These similarities and differences require further consumer – and practitioner – education.
• While the accurate term for the bone fragments remaining after a cremation of a body is cremated remains, the general public still uses the word ashes. Cremation professionals agreed that mirroring that language to connect and not correct during conversations is valid, but it can cause confusion when what’s returned to the family does not resemble fireplace ashes. Similarly, the use of the term alternative container begs the question “alternative to what?” and causes the need for more consumer education.
• Participants all agreed that language matters, and engaging in conversation about these terms with the profession and in education to the community is important. Having these conversations now helps funeral professionals find commonality and agreement to move positively toward the future and avoid the mistakes of the past which created division and defensiveness.

Want to keep reading? Download the Insights from the 2022 Green Funeral Conference paper now and kick-off the conversation in your business!

Consumers are choosing environmentally-friendly solutions for a variety of reasons: concern for the environment, enthusiasm for innovative ideas, the desire to do something new or to adhere to cultural or religious tradition going back centuries. The variety of reasons is only outnumbered by the variety of options for them to personalize their experience. As a funeral professional dedicated to serving your community where they are, you will meet people across the green spectrum. Being informed about these practices is why they chose you to offer guidance and expertise in their funeral plans. 

Be sure to mark your calendars for February 14-16, 2024 when we resume the green conversation at CANA’s 2024 Symposium in Las Vegas! There, CANA will bring together expert practitioners, innovative suppliers, and curious professionals to continue exploring and discovering environmentally-friendly options and how we can make a difference in our communities.

Imagine you’re at CANA’s 105th Convention in Washington, D.C., listening to a session you’ve been looking forward to for months. The presenter is known for their excellent communication skills. How do you picture this scene?
If we think about the three types of communication – verbal, nonverbal and written – then:

1. Verbal communication. When communicating verbally, you use your words and tone of voice to share information with others. If the speaker is a great verbal communicator, you might hear them clearly pronouncing their words, telling a straightforward story and emphasizing key points.
2. Nonverbal communication. Nonverbal messages include your body language, facial expressions, physical appearance and actions. If they are a skilled nonverbal communicator, you might see them dressed sharply, standing tall on the stage and pairing facial expressions and gestures with words.
3. Written communication. Written messages are text-based and communicate meaning when read. If they are a great written communicator, you might see their points clearly summarized in their presentation or read a concise and persuasive email recap in your inbox.

Just like this presenter, you can become a more skilled communicator by using verbal, nonverbal and written communication effectively.

So what are some key considerations when you’re working to improve your communication? Let’s look at the same types of communication again:

VERBAL

“HithankyouforcallingABCFuneralHomemynameisJames”

Their first response to that greeting might be along the lines of, “…um?” – not an engaging start.

When the ringing phone has interrupted something we’re doing, it can take a moment to shift gears. But you shouldn’t let your communications suffer for it. Pause and take a deep breath to ready yourself for the call. Adopt a warm tone and speak slowly and confidently to tell them you’re present and engaged. Your tone should match your message and make your first impression the right one. Not to brag, but I’ve often been confused for a pre-recorded message when I answer the phone. Sure, it means people often start pressing buttons in my ear, but I know they’re convinced of my professionalism!

NONVERBAL
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Even if you’re not paying attention, your actions will communicate meaning. Be aware of your gestures, facial expressions, clothing and body language. Pair these nonverbal cues with your words to make your message and meaning clear.
And even when you’re not actively communicating, your body can give the impression of attentiveness, interest and confidence. Try sitting up straight and keeping your body language open by uncrossing your arms and legs.
Still need to be convinced? Get a little help from Friends:

WRITTEN

​“Thnak you for meeting w/me today. I look foward to serving you famly.” 
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Even if you had a productive meeting with the client-family, you could ruin your credibility if you sent a follow-up riddled with errors. Always re-read before sending, keep communications brief but clear, and have a plan before you start writing so you remember everything that needs to be included.

Without thinking about it, funeral professionals might use jargon and euphemisms to be accurate and convey dignity and professionalism. Unfortunately, families often use different words, and this can lead to misunderstandings. When using verbal and written communication, take time to think about your phrasing and always use language the family is comfortable with.
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The difference between ashes and cremated remains is the most common example in cremation. While we use cremated remains to distinguish between chimney ash and the bone fragments following cremation – plus the emotional distinction between wood and a loved one – a family is less aware of what to expect.  Not to mention operational terms like first call and casket can require additional clarification and sensitivity to what clients know about funeral service. We don’t need to correct their language or word choice. We should mirror their language and, as appropriate, respectfully share the professional term to describe what they can expect.

By using these three types of communication more effectively, you can become a more skilled communicator. Here’s a helpful checklist of questions to ask yourself:

• Verbal: Am I speaking slowly and confidently? Am I staying on topic? Does my tone of voice match my message?
• Nonverbal: Does my body language and appearance match my message? Am I pairing my nonverbal cues with spoken words? Are my gestures open and friendly?
• Written: Did I plan out my writing? Is my message clear and concise? Did I proofread my work for correct grammar, spelling and punctuation?

The best part about practicing your communication is that you don’t have to wait until you’re at the arrangement table. You can see how approaching the check-out counter with an open expression and eye-contact changes the interaction at the register. You can cut back on your *darn autocorrect messages by taking that extra second to re-read before sending. Effective communication makes a difference throughout your life!

Whether it’s on the phone with a price shopper, around the arrangement table with a grieving family, or in the breakroom with a colleague, empathy is at the root of successful communication.

Communicating with empathy requires that we listen before we speak, acknowledge what we’ve heard, and validate the other person’s emotions to let them know they’re not alone. Empathy opens the door to conversations built on respect, truth and collaboration. And when we cultivate these characteristics, we can improve team collaboration and cohesion, create higher levels of trust with our customers, and more effectively resolve conflicts. Doesn’t that sound like a powerful force for effective communication?

Communicating with empathy starts when we slow down. Taking time to listen and withhold judgment allows us to give our focus on the other person.

Here are four key pieces of the empathetic listening process:

1. PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING.
“Have you ever wondered why we have two eyes, two ears and only one mouth?” This old chestnut is such a universal concept, we can’t even attribute it to one person. The answer, of course, is because we need to listen and observe twice as much as we speak. Unlike hearing, which is automatic, listening takes work. This isn’t just the time spent waiting before you can speak – this is the time to show respect. By focusing on understanding, paying close attention and showing the speaker you’re engaged, you can strengthen your listening skills and become a better communicator.

2. ACKNOWLEDGE AND PARAPHRASE WHAT YOU’VE HEARD.
Let the person know you’ve heard them. For the benefit of others in the conversation as well as yourself, test your understanding by summarizing what you’ve heard. Paraphrasing shows that you care enough to check your understanding – plus you can double-check that it was really Uncle Frank’s ex’s sister’s granddaughter who spilled the punch at the wedding (and not his granddaughter – whoops!). Then, ask relevant questions that show you’re paying attention and you want to learn more.

3. VALIDATE THE OTHER PERSON.
In every conversation, but especially on the phone, it’s important to reassure the speaker that you’re there. Without interrupting, give brief and positive prompts like “Uh-huh” and “Mm-hmm” so they know you’re with them. Then, when it is time for you to speak, first acknowledge what they said by validating their feelings. We know grief is as unique as the life lived, and the feelings associated with this conversation will be unique, too. The speaker is sharing their truth, and this is your time to honor it. Whatever they’re feeling, let them know it’s normal and they’re not alone.

4. OFFER SUPPORT.
Support can come in many forms. You’re already well on your way by listening and validating their experience. Sometimes someone may want your advice or assistance, but you can never assume. It’s tempting to try to fix the problem, but sometimes a person just wants to feel heard. They want to feel less alone.

Have you ever chatted with automated tech support and gotten generic responses that don’t address your actual issue? It’s infuriating not to feel heard by a human! As a professional who has seen hundreds of memorial services, it may feel natural to jump in immediately and offer to support them with that experience—but this is their moment, not yours. Give them time to detail their situation and make sure you understand it. Rather than offering ideas right away, let the person know that you’re listening and that you’re ready to answer questions. This sets up the spirit of collaboration and personalization that your experience can bring. By offering support rather than giving it un-asked, you’re telling the other person that not only do you understand, but you also care.

Empathy means stepping into someone else’s shoes—but what happens when the shoe doesn’t fit? An empathy roadblock is anything that gets in the way of our understanding. These barriers can form when we’re too absorbed in our own lives to carry through with the process outlined above, or when we simply can’t relate to another person. If our experiences are too different, or if we have polarized views on a topic or situation, it’s difficult to express empathy. We let our judgments, outlooks and egos get in the way of our understanding. 

Whether or not they’re intentional, these barriers cause us to shut others out. And, as a result, others may close themselves off to us. When we give in to empathy roadblocks, we obstruct our ability to both understand and be understood. We block our ability to communicate effectively.

When communicating with others and facing these blocks, ask yourself: 

• Are there any distractions getting in the way of my understanding?
• Am I jumping to conclusions?
• Am I more focused on debating rather than understanding?
• Do I need to overcome any biases about this person?

Communicating with empathy takes practice, and it won’t happen overnight. Fortunately, you don’t have to wait until you’re sitting at the arrangement table! Skills like active listening work just as well on the phone with your family as they do with a price shopper. Validating is just as important at the dinner table when you’re rehashing the day as it is at the arrangement table. Paraphrasing can iron out the details at the mechanic and at the chapel. And CANA is here to offer support, you just have to ask!

We don't have time to question everything, of course, but I want to motivate you to question what you do and why you do it, and the impact that it has on your business. And—most importantly—the impact it has on your families.

I am a second-generation funeral director and embalmer from a really, really small town in Indiana. I've been licensed since 2005. I grew up in the funeral home with no intention of going into funeral service. But, as I got to see my father and understand what he was doing, I knew what he was doing was important and I wanted to be a part of that.

One of the things I heard from my father was “We bury our dead and we burn our trash.” And, as a young man, I didn't understand that, because Dad didn't own a cemetery and he didn't own the crematory. So, I started questioning that.

I thought, “What do you care? You want the phone to ring. You want to help a family.” But this was the mindset of so many funeral directors of that generation: “Cremation is our enemy. When a family says cremation, that's the only thing they want. That's it.” Those men lived in a time of cremation only, but from day one, that's never been my experience. So I questioned how we interacted with our families, and I wanted to get better.

I wanted to get better because, as a young funeral director, you find yourself in awkward situations that you didn't ask for. Families love to ask questions—and we want them to ask questions. But when you're a young, ignorant kid you don't know what to do when you're put on the spot with a question that you don't know how to answer. I never had someone tell me, “When you get a question that you don't know the answer to, just say, ‘I don't know, but I'll find out for you.’” That makes someone feel pretty good. You're going to help them. You're going to find out – it may take you five minutes, it may take you more—but you're going to help.

We have made this unbelievable commitment that we are going to care for living and the dead, and we're going to do it simultaneously. As a young funeral director, I always wondered: what makes a good funeral director? And it's one of those things that is always evolving.

I'm constantly adding to that amount of information that I have that helps me help families. And no matter how much knowledge we have about the funeral business or running a business or death or grief or all that stuff, what families really need is just another human being to listen. Another human being to be there, to support them and to support their decisions. We don't see that across all funeral service.

I am using a story I heard from someone who chartered a fishing boat. He mentioned that his boat captain was on the radio with other boat captains, and they were talking about where the fish are. They've all got paying clients. They all want them to have a good time. They all want them to fish. But these competing businesses are on the horn to each other, telling each other where the fish are biting today.

Conversely, there's other captains out there and they're not going to talk to the competitors. You've hired them for a boat ride and you're going to get a boat ride. And that's all you’re going to get. But other businesses who are competing are out there trying to satisfy their clients. When it comes to funeral service, we may call a buddy for help. We may call a funeral home to help bring someone home.

Yet, when it comes to service, a family walks in and they say, “Hey, I, saw this really neat thing on the internet you can do with cremated remains. Can you do that?” and I don't know about it. This happens way too much in funeral service where we say, “no, we don't do that here.” And we stop. We don't call out for help. We don't call out to figure out how to do it. Heaven forbid we tell a family, “we don't do that here, but I can find a place for you.”

A buddy of mine was working at this funeral home. When someone came in to pick up mom or dad, they sat across the desk and “there's dad, thanks for coming in. Oh, sign here.” She was mortified that this was what was happening. So, she started to think a little bit, make it a little bit different, make it more of an experience. And she got in trouble. “What are you doing? We don't do that here.” Well, she kept doing it. She just made it a little bit different.

I'd never thought about it. Never questioned it. It was just what we did. I think before I started using mom or dad or brother or whomever, it was “cremated remains. Here you go.” But, I started thinking about it and I was like, I can do better. As a funeral director, I do not want to treat my cremation families any different than burial families. Again, my family, we don't own a cemetery and we don't own a crematory, but I will do both for you, so we got to thinking.

You never know what a family's going to value when they walk in the door. They'll walk in the door and they'll be like, we want a dinner, or we want a kegger. Some families want a funeral procession. Some families want pallbearers, and what’s the answer? You buy a piece of furniture.

I was curious about this product: an urn, an arc, an urn caddy, there’s so many different names. I wanted one of these for years and years, but my father wouldn't let me do it. Finally he got older and stopped stopping me. So we got one, because I didn't want our cremation families to be cut out of some of the things that burial families get, and that some families value.

Now, when it comes to cremation, you have all of the choices in the world.

How do we know it's the right thing to do? The key is to sit down and take the time. Think about it, question it, talk about it. When we'd go on a removal or bring someone into our care, we would get into the hearse afterwards, and we'd start to drive away. And I'd look over and be like, “All right, let's grade ourselves. How do you think we did? How did the communication go? How did the transfer go? Do you think we met their needs?” Didn't even know we were doing it, but we were trying to get better.

If you're not even thinking about what you do, this business can be very routine. You show up, you walk in, you do your work, you go home. It can be that simple. But if your mind gets numb and you're not thinking about what you're doing and trying to improve, you'll never improve.

Just because Dad's been doing it 60 years doesn't mean it's wrong. It may be the best way to do it, but until we test it out, we don't know. And I encourage you to talk with other people about it too. Get outside of your circle, your echo chamber. That is the key.

If you asked me maybe right now, what else do I do? Well, when it comes down to it, all of this is caring for our families, listening to them, and empowering them to do what they need to do. We’re put out to be these money-grubbing, guilt-twisting professionals that will use that emotion to help ourselves. When, as we all know, that is the complete opposite of what we do. We will go the extra mile to help a family. You all do it.

I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. We all work in funeral service. We are equals, but when we go home, all of us are the expert to our communities. Tell your story, tell people what you do, encourage them to have those conversations, be open and approachable. And that's how folks build trust with us.

I haven’t worked in a library since 2005, but I still call myself a librarian—even after serving as CANA’s Executive Director for ten years. That’s because librarians do much more than fine you for that overdue book and shush noisy patrons. As the American Library Association puts it, “In their work, librarians research, instruct, and connect people to technology... Librarians work with people of all ages, connecting them to information, learning and the community.” 

As CANA’s Executive Director (and behind-the-scenes librarian), I conduct research and library tasks nearly every workday, because cremation professionals are curious people who are eager to learn and make data-driven decisions. In fact, CANA’s commitment to research – which then helps businesses and our profession advance – is one of my favorites among the CANA projects and benefits we provide. I know CANA members rely on our association to publish timely and practical content, and we will continue to do so, but I also encourage you discover the many ways your local public library can help you, too.

When was the last time you visited your public library? Story time for your child or grandchild? To visit a book sale? Use the restroom? Maybe never? I admit that it’s been a while since I’ve been to a library (pandemic notwithstanding), but I use my library online to borrow e-books and magazines and to access databases for personal and CANA use.

Public libraries offer a wide range of services to the business community, from meeting space to direct mailing lists, free technology and training classes. The Urban Libraries Council estimates that in 2021, a pandemic year during which many libraries offered limited or virtual services, the actual value of library services to entrepreneurs and small business owners ranged from $815,000 for Greensboro Public Library in North Carolina to $1.38 million in Spokane, Washington. That cost includes what the library provides for free that people would have to pay to own or use, like the makerspace (e.g., 3D printers and digital design equipment) and training programs—or even just a computer with internet access.
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Libraries can be a treasure trove of business resources for you and your employees. So, here’s this librarian’s quick look at making the most of these free resources for your business.

This is an important first step to take advantage of a library’s many resources, even though several drop-in programs (and the restroom) can be accessed just by walking in the door. You can always get a library card by visiting your library, and often you can start the process online. Sometimes libraries offer library cards to businesses, so if you live in a different community than your business, you can expand the resources you can access. ​

​ACCESS

Saw a link to an interesting article in the Wall Street Journal or Harvard Business Review on LinkedIn but ran into a pay wall? Your library might have a subscription. Log in to the library website and access thousands of magazine and journal databases.

You can find a whole range of other publications, too. Go to the library’s website and locate Research Databases, then explore the Business category and see what’s trending for businesses today.

INFORMATION

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A few dollars of your tax payments go to fund public libraries, so why not make the most of it? Also, did you know that federal funding of public libraries is distributed based on library card holders? Simply getting your library card supports funding for your library and your community.

No matter what you think about the evolution of the North American Funeral Rite, you have to acknowledge that cremation is, and has been for some time, a major part of society’s expectation of what happens when someone dies. As the demand for cremation services has increased over the past few decades, funeral professionals have responded in a variety of ways to meet their consumer’s expectations. Some have even tried to divert their community’s attention away from cremation, to no avail. Regardless, cremation is now fully integrated into our society’s funeral ideal and shows no signs of changing anytime soon. Funeral service professionals must now add Cremation Specialist to their long litany of talents.

Most funeral service professionals don’t operate cremation equipment, but thankfully, that is not required to have cremation expertise. Knowing what goes on at the crematory, by what means the decedent will travel through the process, and how your firm and the crematory assure the remains that start the journey are the same that are returned at the end will put the family’s mind at rest and create a sense of comfort and confidence that their loved one is in good hands.

One doubt many have, which can be alleviated from the start, is how the decedent’s identity will be confirmed, verified, and documented throughout the journey. This could be put into words during the removal or as part of the arrangement conference. Knowing and confidently clarifying both the ID process and the chain of custody protocols is good practice for a cremation professional. If you don't feel confident outlining the process, talk to your crematory operators. They can walk you through everything in detail and even if you don’t have all of the steps perfectly memorized, sharing with your families that your crematory does indeed have a formal process that is followed consistently is expert-level knowledge.

Most believe that cremation causes pollution. Any time something burns and heat is generated, emissions are produced, but the cremation professional takes an educated approach when answering inquiries regarding emissions and the environment. Modern cremation equipment is designed so well that (when properly maintained and properly operated) the emissions are minimal and insignificant. The sophisticated control systems and airflow design along with the physical design of the equipment assure minimum emissions. According to environmental experts, cremation is one of the lowest sources of pollution and, because of that, isn’t regulated by the US Federal EPA (but are regulated at the local level).

If one has to wait for something, they are undoubtedly going to want to know how long the wait will be. The variables involved in calculating how long it will take seem endless. How busy is the crematory at the moment? Are all of the necessary permits and authorizations in place? Is the deceased of average size or will there be extenuating circumstances that may delay the cremation? (For example, the decedent is a larger individual that will require special handling at the crematory). For the most part, if there are no barriers, the actual cremation takes between 1 and 3 hours to perform. There is also the time needed for processing and packaging the cremated remains. Keeping track of all of these variables can be cumbersome, but navigating all that is something a cremation professional does as part of their service.

Often families will have questions regarding the actual cremation process. Knowing the basics regarding how things work is not difficult. Cremation, by definition, is a thermal (mechanical or other dissolution) process that reduces deceased human or pet remains to bone-like fragments. The process also involves the further reduction of the remains via pulverization of the bone-like fragments into pieces that are usually no more than one-eighth inch. The temperatures involved range from 1400°F to 1800°F depending on the make and model of the equipment. All cremation equipment has multiple chambers that combust and re-combust what is produced during the process so the pollution that is created is eliminated before re-entering the atmosphere. For the most part, what goes back into the atmosphere is breathable, clean air.

Another important characteristic of a cremation specialist is their lack of assumption that the cremation family does not find value in more traditional funeral services. The cremation specialist knows it's their duty to help the family find the right services to honor their loved one in concert with their choice of disposition. This may be nothing more than the removal of the deceased at the place of death, curating the necessary forms and authorizations, and the actual cremation — but it may be more. It may be a full-on “traditional” funeral service complete with embalming, visitation, rosary, livery, procession, church or chapel service before the cremation, and a graveside committal service. It may be something in between. The funeral director cremation specialist is, at their very core, a funeral director regardless of the choice of disposition, and facilitates an event appropriate for their families.
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With any consumer transaction, the more you know about the products and services you offer, the happier your client will be. If someone wants to buy a new Ford F-150 pickup they are going to head to the Ford dealer, not the Volkswagen showroom. Value is perceived (and directly related to) the expertise of the professional facilitating the transaction and funeral service is no exception. 

My second week on the job as CANA’s Executive Director took place during the joint CANA-NFDA convention in October 2011. I remember many excellent presentations and I vividly recall one speaker asking the audience, "Are you a cremation specialist? Raise your hand if you are." There were hundreds of people in the room, and not one raised a hand. The speaker then chastised us, saying, "Of course you are a cremation specialist, because you say you are."

Is it really as simple as that? Not exactly.
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CANA has been conducting research to determine the actual competencies and related knowledge, skills and abilities (KSA) that a funeral director and arranger use when serving their community. Based on this, we've developed continuing education classes that teach these important KSAs, validate good habits and introduce best practices. Together they make up the new CANA-Certified Cremation Specialist credential—a labor of love crafted by the leadership and staff of CANA over the last five years.

You’ve all heard the lament: no one teaches cremation in mortuary science or funeral service schools, so why do some funeral directors excel at connecting with consumers who choose cremation and why do some fall short? CANA set out to find the answers.

One of the four pillars of CANA’s strategic plan is Education, with one of the goals under that pillar being to constantly scan the state of the profession and address training needs through progressive education. To that end, in August 2017 CANA board members engaged in a hands-on activity where they identified their greatest training struggles across their businesses. The major categories identified were: 1. arrangement conferences, 2. crematory operations, 3. sales, 4. managing a service, 5. technology, 6. leadership development, 7. phone skills, and 8. oral communication, business communication and writing.

The CANA Education Committee then set CANA’s top three priorities: arrangement conferences, crematory operations, and sales. With a firm theory about where our profession was struggling, it was time to test our ideas, so we invited rock star funeral directors from CANA member firms across the US and Canada to convene in Chicago and participate in a DACUM (Developing A CUrriculuM) study.

These successful professionals were asked to describe, in exhaustive detail, each task they engage in to serve families who choose cremation. I wish you could have been in the room. This open exchange of ideas and strategies was a type of training in itself.
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The DACUM study identified seven domains of competencies from which we developed training.

Anyone familiar with the curriculum at mortuary science and funeral service programs will recognize these areas. You’ll find obvious connections and echoes to the mortuary school classroom curriculum, which we found to be a reassuring reminder: there’s no divide between cremation and burial families, just in how they can be perceived.
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CANA engaged consultants to do research on this new education initiative, including a large survey. Those respondents overwhelmingly identified a need for training that distinguishes between the knowledge and skills required to serve families choosing traditional casket burial and those choosing cremation. That’s where CANA found its niche.

n keeping with CANA’s mission to serve as the leading authority on all aspects of cremation, the association identified a gap in cremation-focused, online continuing education courses – content that develops and supports the competencies that best prepare funeral directors to serve people choosing cremation. Current courses are outdated, repetitive, provide little to no cremation content, and don’t advance competencies in the areas we identified.

The path forward was clear: fill the gap between the type of specialized training needed and the level of interest in the actual content areas—all with CANA’s brand of cremation-first content to set it apart from the other the education options currently on offer.

The primary audience for this project is early to mid-career funeral directors and arrangers. The primary competition is low-cost or free online training programs. We committed to the development of a self-paced educational program, providing licensed funeral directors with CE which leads to a cremation specialist credential at an accessible price.

CANA members are the leaders in cremation innovation so that is where we started. We identified subject matter experts from across the association to develop and deliver specific courses targeted to each of the seven competencies:

The Cremation Choice – works to explain the cremation consumer by using research to break down biases about what motivates them and what they want.

Communication Skills Fundamentals – created to get at the many ways we communicate, verbally and silently, to clients.

Cremation Phone Shoppers: Your Best First Impression – focuses on making the connection with the caller and showcasing the value you offer.

The Power of Presence: An Introduction – developed with the blessing and support of Glenda Stansbury and Doug Manning, experts in the topic.

Ethics in Funeral Service – moving beyond compliance with regulations, this class addresses ethical codes of conduct for the business and the individual

Complying with the FTC Funeral Rule – uses cremation–focused scenarios to teach how to follow The Rule in different situations

Presentation without Preservation – in what many would consider a foreign concept to CANA this class examines minimally-invasive body preparation techniques for the customer who wants a viewing but doesn’t want embalming.

Each class is highly interactive with exercises, video clips and case studies.
Looking for recorded webinars? Look elsewhere. These classes will capture your attention, present you with interactive scenarios and are always cremation-first.

This preparation work revealed the core issue: most funeral directors have learned over time—or are actually taught—the cremation myths and biases that have influenced business models and created a disconnect between consumers and funeral professionals. These biases are evident, even among funeral professionals working in cremation businesses.

The CCS content challenges participants to confront biases and learn new strategies to connect with grieving families. Participants reported that communication tips and exercises to cultivate empathy and other communication skills resulted in greater satisfaction and success.
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In Fall 2021, CANA offered the first test cohort and graduated eight CANA-Certified Cremation Specialists. During this test offering we learned a number of lessons, including:

​The Second Cohort launches March 7 and you are invited to participate. If you work for a CANA member or are the owner/manager of a CANA member and wish to register employees find out more here.
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It took five years to identify the competencies, build the courses and plan the launch, but here we are introducing the CANA-Certified Cremation Specialist! Join their ranks and raise your hand with confidence the next time you are asked if you are a cremation specialist.

It feels awkward to begin emerging from pandemic isolation and start attending in-person meetings and events. After 15 months of virtual meetings and phone calls, it’s a good time to review networking tips for interacting with people in the flesh. While the core best practices for networking remain the same, our collective COVID-19 caution alters some actions we rarely thought about before.

I am fully vaccinated and eager to be around other people. But I’ll admit I’m a little rusty. At a recent board meeting, outdoors, I offered elbow bumps instead of handshakes, which felt weird at first. Then I realized that others appreciated it. However, as one who’s been a natural networker since kindergarten, I’m finding that it takes forethought and self-control to avoid automatically lapsing into life-long patterns that today don’t feel safe enough for me.

For example, although I’ve decided I’m not ready for a bare-hand-to-bare-hand handshake yet, I was caught off guard and my muscle memory took over at a recent event when a respected elder extended his right hand to me. I automatically shook hands and then was obsessed with not touching anything until I could wash my hands. I was anxious even though I’m 99 percent sure this gentleman is fully vaccinated. My mind kept nagging me, “Had he also exchanged handshakes with others who aren’t vaccinated?”

I know I am not alone. Rockabilly singer and guitarist Deke Dickerson recently released a song called “The Year that Got Away.” The song’s line, “I’ll never take a hug for granted again but it’s still so strange to shake your hand,” resonates with me as in-person meetings and events start returning to my calendar. While the COVID-19 pandemic is far from over, many states and cities are easing restrictions and returning to almost the way things were before 2020. Beyond trying to figure out whether a handshake or hug is appropriate and safe, we may need to refresh our networking skills. This means reviewing networking basics as well as considering new COVID-era sensitivities and sensibilities.

I offer the following networking tips.

SET GOALS. Determine why you plan to attend a business event. Are you there primarily to learn from a speaker or do you want to meet others? In either case, decide ahead of time how many new people you plan to meet and why. Research the hosting organization, expected attendees and the location. Understand the venue and evaluate any COVID-19 measures in place and how those stack up against your readiness to venture out.

LOOK GOOD. Dress appropriately for the occasion. Remember that you represent not only yourself, but the organization you represent. It may seem harder to gauge what to wear now, after more than a year of work-from-home casual attire. Compare notes on how to dress post-pandemic with trusted colleagues who are known for exhibiting professionalism. Smart networking attire always includes a sufficient supply of business cards in an easily accessible pocket.

BE FRIENDLY. After avoiding contact with others for more than a year, you may be out of practice in initiating conversations with strangers. As much as ever, it’s important to project confidence and a willingness to talk with others. Smile, make eye contact and strike up conversations. In-person eye contact will feel different than all those Zoom meeting screen stares. Greet others with open-ended, friendly questions that can lead to conversation. Plan some conversation-starter questions ahead of time.

LISTEN. Be genuinely interested in what the other person is saying and interact appropriately. For those of us who have craved being around other people, the tendency may be to talk too much. Listen more and talk less. Maintain proper body space distancing, which today may be farther away from others than it was pre-COVID. Successful networkers often report that when they ask questions, listen and show interest in others, they are remembered as being interesting themselves.

RECAP YOUR CONVERSATION. If you’ve met someone whom you’d like to contact again, make your parting words a specific reminder of the issue or point you have in common, followed by a promise of your next steps. Exchange contact information.

HANDSHAKE OR ALTERNATIVE? Decide ahead of time whether you feel comfortable shaking hands with others. If you’re not, have your handshake alternative ready. With a family member, practice initiating an elbow bump, fist bump, nod, or small bow so it will come naturally. Be prepared to react gracefully to puzzled reactions. Conversely, if you would like to shake hands with others, anticipate some people declining, and be ready to react gracefully to that situation, too.

WASH YOUR HANDS. Before, during and after the pandemic, this is always a sound practice. I’ve always been a bit of a germaphobe, so for decades my habit has been to wash my hands or use hand sanitizer regularly during networking adventures: After the Uber, taxi or public transit ride and before the event. Between the networking reception and the subsequent breakfast, lunch or dinner. Upon returning to the office. I recommend this practice. It aligns with COVID-19 safety measures, and it can help prevent spreading colds. It also protects others.

FOLLOW UP. Keep promises you made to others while networking. Send the document or link you promised, make the email introduction you offered to make, set a date for that meeting or for the proverbial “lunch sometime.”
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ENJOY. Networking can be fun, as well as beneficial to your work. Perhaps these networking tips will help you.