Over the Christmas holiday, I joined a few million other Americans by watching the second season of Netflix’s The Crown. We in the USA have an odd fascination with the British monarchy, reliably gobbling up anything related to the UK’s Royal Family.

The differences between our two governments can be simplified as form and function. The UK has a Prime Minister to govern (function) and a sovereign to serve as a living symbol of the country (form). The American Presidency rolls these two jobs into one.
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But Americans, ironically, divide the two components when it comes to business. Hiring is one of a company’s most impactful decisions for its brand, but is made by one of its most insulated and quantitative departments. Like every election, every hiring decision impacts the corporate brand. So, it’s high time marketing and HR got together. After all, Americans talk a lot about qualifications and experience, but we tend to vote for the candidate we’d rather have a beer with. Below are a few arguments for “the special relationship” between Marketing and HR, inspired by both sides of the Atlantic.

Your audience sees your employees as brand ambassadors, even if you don’t. Americans are less comfortable with pomp and spectacle than our British cousins. That’s why we can’t quite get our heads around the monarchy. We can understand hiring for experience, but hiring for image seems downright undemocratic.

But image—even spectacle—are sometimes exactly what a brand needs. From Branson to Bezos, some of the world’s most successful executives are masters of show business. At every level, your brand will be judged by the people you send into the room to represent it, both internally and externally. Even if you keep him away from clients, that hire with savant-like expertise but abysmal interpersonal skills will take his toll on your company’s culture and morale. On the other hand, the individual with an innate ability to inspire might just be able to learn the technical details.

It isn’t lonely at the top. Like the monarch, CEOs and celebrity spokespeople are the faces most carefully selected and cultivated for their ability to inspire. But commoners change history too. Executives and paid actors don’t have the only—or even the greatest—impact on a brand’s value. I can’t name the CEO of Home Depot, but I can tell you all about the terrible customer service I received last week.

Ritz Carlton understands this. Their “ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentlemen” mantra has helped the brand become synonymous with the very best in hospitality and dining. Compare that to the night shift at Holiday Inn: instilling form versus function at every level makes all the difference.

People failures are brand failures. The Crown’s sophomore season dove into the scandals that have plagued the royal family, providing another important lesson for marketers and HR pros: The best spokesperson arrangement in history can’t protect you from the spokesperson. Tiger Woods went from brand gold to brand anathema literally overnight. The Most Interesting Man in the World, one of the most successful campaigns in advertising history, was ultimately toppled simply because an actor wanted to retire.

It’s never wise to put all your eggs in one basket. If every hire is an investment in your company’s brand (and it is), then it’s wise to diversify that investment. A brand embodied by lots of faces means less disaster when one of them screws up or calls it quits.

Good form can enable good function. Repeatedly in The Crown, the precocious queen broke with tradition to influence world events, armed with nothing but her signature grace and eloquence. While her classically-trained advisors wanted to stick to traditional diplomatic channels, they were always left in admiration when she achieved what they were unable to.

Don’t underestimate the hard results of soft skills. Does that sales role really require industry expertise, or do you actually need a masterful relationship-builder? Which would you rather have at your front desk: the consummate hostess or an MBA?

When you’re desperate to hire someone who can do the job, remember that “the job” almost always includes representing your company—whether externally or internally. That goes beyond a résumé, a degree, or a certification. Too many front desks and front doors are manned by the most disengaged, disinterested person in the company. It can be helpful to think of those positions in terms of how much charisma they require, not how little technical ability.

You likely won’t have the luxury of hiring purely for ceremony, but putting Marketing in HR’s seat for a moment might yield some fruitful discussions—and might help you build a brand worthy of kings.

We don't have time to question everything, of course, but I want to motivate you to question what you do and why you do it, and the impact that it has on your business. And—most importantly—the impact it has on your families.

I am a second-generation funeral director and embalmer from a really, really small town in Indiana. I've been licensed since 2005. I grew up in the funeral home with no intention of going into funeral service. But, as I got to see my father and understand what he was doing, I knew what he was doing was important and I wanted to be a part of that.

One of the things I heard from my father was “We bury our dead and we burn our trash.” And, as a young man, I didn't understand that, because Dad didn't own a cemetery and he didn't own the crematory. So, I started questioning that.

I thought, “What do you care? You want the phone to ring. You want to help a family.” But this was the mindset of so many funeral directors of that generation: “Cremation is our enemy. When a family says cremation, that's the only thing they want. That's it.” Those men lived in a time of cremation only, but from day one, that's never been my experience. So I questioned how we interacted with our families, and I wanted to get better.

I wanted to get better because, as a young funeral director, you find yourself in awkward situations that you didn't ask for. Families love to ask questions—and we want them to ask questions. But when you're a young, ignorant kid you don't know what to do when you're put on the spot with a question that you don't know how to answer. I never had someone tell me, “When you get a question that you don't know the answer to, just say, ‘I don't know, but I'll find out for you.’” That makes someone feel pretty good. You're going to help them. You're going to find out – it may take you five minutes, it may take you more—but you're going to help.

We have made this unbelievable commitment that we are going to care for living and the dead, and we're going to do it simultaneously. As a young funeral director, I always wondered: what makes a good funeral director? And it's one of those things that is always evolving.

I'm constantly adding to that amount of information that I have that helps me help families. And no matter how much knowledge we have about the funeral business or running a business or death or grief or all that stuff, what families really need is just another human being to listen. Another human being to be there, to support them and to support their decisions. We don't see that across all funeral service.

I am using a story I heard from someone who chartered a fishing boat. He mentioned that his boat captain was on the radio with other boat captains, and they were talking about where the fish are. They've all got paying clients. They all want them to have a good time. They all want them to fish. But these competing businesses are on the horn to each other, telling each other where the fish are biting today.

Conversely, there's other captains out there and they're not going to talk to the competitors. You've hired them for a boat ride and you're going to get a boat ride. And that's all you’re going to get. But other businesses who are competing are out there trying to satisfy their clients. When it comes to funeral service, we may call a buddy for help. We may call a funeral home to help bring someone home.

Yet, when it comes to service, a family walks in and they say, “Hey, I, saw this really neat thing on the internet you can do with cremated remains. Can you do that?” and I don't know about it. This happens way too much in funeral service where we say, “no, we don't do that here.” And we stop. We don't call out for help. We don't call out to figure out how to do it. Heaven forbid we tell a family, “we don't do that here, but I can find a place for you.”

A buddy of mine was working at this funeral home. When someone came in to pick up mom or dad, they sat across the desk and “there's dad, thanks for coming in. Oh, sign here.” She was mortified that this was what was happening. So, she started to think a little bit, make it a little bit different, make it more of an experience. And she got in trouble. “What are you doing? We don't do that here.” Well, she kept doing it. She just made it a little bit different.

I'd never thought about it. Never questioned it. It was just what we did. I think before I started using mom or dad or brother or whomever, it was “cremated remains. Here you go.” But, I started thinking about it and I was like, I can do better. As a funeral director, I do not want to treat my cremation families any different than burial families. Again, my family, we don't own a cemetery and we don't own a crematory, but I will do both for you, so we got to thinking.

You never know what a family's going to value when they walk in the door. They'll walk in the door and they'll be like, we want a dinner, or we want a kegger. Some families want a funeral procession. Some families want pallbearers, and what’s the answer? You buy a piece of furniture.

I was curious about this product: an urn, an arc, an urn caddy, there’s so many different names. I wanted one of these for years and years, but my father wouldn't let me do it. Finally he got older and stopped stopping me. So we got one, because I didn't want our cremation families to be cut out of some of the things that burial families get, and that some families value.

Now, when it comes to cremation, you have all of the choices in the world.

How do we know it's the right thing to do? The key is to sit down and take the time. Think about it, question it, talk about it. When we'd go on a removal or bring someone into our care, we would get into the hearse afterwards, and we'd start to drive away. And I'd look over and be like, “All right, let's grade ourselves. How do you think we did? How did the communication go? How did the transfer go? Do you think we met their needs?” Didn't even know we were doing it, but we were trying to get better.

If you're not even thinking about what you do, this business can be very routine. You show up, you walk in, you do your work, you go home. It can be that simple. But if your mind gets numb and you're not thinking about what you're doing and trying to improve, you'll never improve.

Just because Dad's been doing it 60 years doesn't mean it's wrong. It may be the best way to do it, but until we test it out, we don't know. And I encourage you to talk with other people about it too. Get outside of your circle, your echo chamber. That is the key.

If you asked me maybe right now, what else do I do? Well, when it comes down to it, all of this is caring for our families, listening to them, and empowering them to do what they need to do. We’re put out to be these money-grubbing, guilt-twisting professionals that will use that emotion to help ourselves. When, as we all know, that is the complete opposite of what we do. We will go the extra mile to help a family. You all do it.

I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. We all work in funeral service. We are equals, but when we go home, all of us are the expert to our communities. Tell your story, tell people what you do, encourage them to have those conversations, be open and approachable. And that's how folks build trust with us.

When the US economic crisis of 2008, forced individuals and families to become more budget-conscious. As a result, people got resourceful and creativity flourished, especially when it came to memorializing loved ones. In some cases, this meant the funeral director was cut out of the equation entirely or left on the outside looking in.
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I don't think it has to be that way. You can reposition your role and partner with these DIY people, these family members that want to work behind the scenes and bring additional value to their life tribute event.

I want you to think about the family members that you've sat across from who are the DIY consumer. I want you to think about yourself and your friends and family who have the DIY bug and think about the feeling when you complete a DIY project. It is that sense of satisfaction. It is happiness that you feel. The new Man Cave is the She Shed! It's where the DIY consumer gets the solitude, the focus, and the space to complete these projects. These projects that are an instant mood enhancer for them. And that's how these family members feel. This isn't just something that they do on a whim.

And the most famous DIY-ers? Martha Stewart has been around for decades. Chip and Joanna Gaines started with one home decor store and now they have their own television network. Ben and Erin Napier and the Property Brothers are part of the HGTV Family. Brit Morin is known as the digital Martha Stewart, and Tommy Walsh is one of the most well-known international DIY personalities.

And now, because of YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok, we've seen the explosion of DIY bloggers all over the world. Some bloggers have their own sites or they use social media sites to reach out to potential DIY-ers. And it is their eagerness to provide video tutorials – step-by-step guides – to invite and encourage people to be a part of the DIY world. It is evident that the DIY world is expanding and here to stay.

Data shows that 50% of DIY consumers are female and 52% are between the ages of 24 and 44 – a mix of Gen X and Millennials. We know that DIY projects are directly tied to life changing events: a graduation, an engagement, getting married, having a baby, buying a home, and, we can add, the death of a family member. Every time there's a milestone or something big happening in their family, they have an event. They bring people together. They honor old family traditions. They start their new traditions, and it's not just about their immediate family, but they bring in their extended family and they also reach out to their large social circle of friends to be a part of those special moments.
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And, because of that, a life tribute event will most likely be the topic of conversation among many of the attendees. It will be the word-of-mouth marketing that funeral homes want! But—guess what? That funeral director will fade into the background and simply be seen as the person who provided the place and took care of the disposition.

Here are three ways to partner with those individuals to help you and your entire team avoid getting left out of the conversation when a DIY consumer appears in that arrangement conference.

SPEAK TO YOUR CREDIBILITY
The words “licensed funeral director” carried a lot of weight for many, many years. Then, we needed to say “licensed funeral director and cremation specialist.” Now we need to add a third line of credibility, and that is your “creative” credibility. That DIY consumer needs to hear, in the very beginning of that arrangement conference, that you are creative, that you're willing to explore ideas, and that you have resources to execute their vision.

BE THE IDEA GENERATOR
What I hear most from funeral directors is that they don't have the extra budget or the extra time to do the “wow” factor for a family. I understand that, so think of yourself as an idea generator instead. It builds your credibility. It says: We are creative. We want to help you. For example, "it was interesting to hear about your sister's involvement with Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library. I was thinking of a few different ways we could honor that part of her life."

KEEP RESOURCES HANDY
Have websites, magazines, and books available for your funeral directors to enable them as idea generators. Know the websites that consumers are going to directly. These are three from my extensive list of websites:
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beau-coup.com is a wedding and baby shower website (I forewarn you), but they have every possible keepsake, covering all different hobbies and interests, and can be personalized with shipping options to ensure items arrive in time for a tribute.

stylemepretty.com collects wedding ideas from all over the world to find out what brides are doing, what the trends are, and what resources that they're utilizing. If I was looking for tropical - Hindu - Jewish funeral ideas, I could go to Style Me Pretty to get some inspiration. And that's what you're going to find: a combination of cultures, hobbies and interests that bring it all together. And it's not just pictures: it is the resources and the vendors, too.

pinterest.com is ideal for free consumer research. Hop on and type in the search box “my funeral” or “mom's funeral” or “dad's funeral” and look at all the Pinterest boards that have those names. And these are just the public-facing samples! These are the ideas that people are collecting, that they're thinking about, so when the time comes, they go to their Pinterest board and see what they've collected over the past couple of years for a loved one or for themselves.

"When families participate, they remember. When they remember, they grieve. And when they grieve, they love." Remembering Well, by Sarah York
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That's the impact that you can have on these family members who want to have those DIY moments with other family members behind the scenes before that tribute takes place.

Story is also a valuable way to process the effects of change. During my ten years with CANA, I have experienced the remarkable pace of change in attitudes toward cremation. In the broader profession, cremation was considered a threat to profitability. I heard extreme statements such as, “We burn our trash, not people.” I heard denials such as, “My funeral home doesn’t do direct cremation. That’s for the guy down the street.” It seemed that no one really liked cremation, but it was a necessity.

CANA’s cremation story has been remarkably consistent: Cremation is preparation for memorialization. Cremation can be profitable to a business and accessible to consumers. Every grieving family deserves a funeral director’s attention and expertise.

Today, a new issue too many CANA Members share is a dwindling pipeline of qualified and quality funeral professionals coming in to do this essential work. Whether they are retiring for a new experience or burning out of a challenging job made harder by a pandemic, the workforce feels like it’s shrinking.
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Fortunately, story can be useful here, too. When I read books about places I have never been, I can imagine myself in the story. Can we create stories about these problems to arrive at solutions and envision different outcomes? Below you’ll find some stories I have heard recently from CANA members during my travels. I challenge you to consider how you would react in each situation, and what solutions you can provide.

Kerry has been working at Baggum & Taggem Funeral Home for 9 years, starting just out of mortuary school as an apprentice. She likes her coworkers, gets along with her boss, and has earned the experience that comes with being a licensed funeral director in the same company and the same town for almost a decade. Martin was just hired on as a new funeral director, filling an opening when Jared left.

Martin graduated the same year as Kerry, but this is his third funeral home because he’s changed employers every few years. He’s catching on, and Kerry doesn’t mind training him, but he brings so many different perspectives to the work they do. She’s beginning to wonder if she’s missed something by staying in one place. But, then again, even if she has, how can she be sure that she’d like a new place as much as she likes where she is now?
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If you were Kerry, would you stay put or start applying?
If you were Kerry’s boss, what would you do – try to keep a loyal employee or support her finding new opportunities? How?

Emily is 35 and left a boring office job to follow her passion and become a funeral director. Ever since her father died when she was 14, Emily has been fascinated with funeral directing, but first she followed the career path her father wanted her to follow. She went to college and  found a steady job with benefits in a well-known corporation.

Now, she has student loan debt from two degrees and is happier than she could imagine as a new licensee. Her apprenticeship was hard work, but she had a great mentor and earned great experience in the prep room and the arrangement room while learning the inner workings of her funeral home.

Emily considers herself to be a hard worker and is willing to put in the hours necessary, but also wants to maintain her hobbies and friendships. That was hard during her apprenticeship, but she is wondering if it will even be possible as a full-time funeral director.
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What does Emily do next? Would you hire her?
How should she navigate her new career? If you were her mentor, how would you advise the next 5-10 years of her career?

Robert sipped his first cup of coffee of the day and scrolled through his LinkedIn feed. No death calls had come in during the night so he slept a solid six hours and was feeling great. A few moments later, he saw a notification from his mortuary school buddy, John:

“John is starting a new position as Retired”

Shaking his head at the peculiar LinkedIn grammar, he contemplated what this meant. Robert hadn’t seen John since last year’s convention when everything seemed fine. They had talked about their kids and grandkids, HR headaches, whether or not to put in a crematory despite all the zoning hassles. Normal stuff. John hadn’t said anything about retiring. Did he sell the business? Is he healthy? What will he do now?

Robert sent John a text: “Congrats, I think?” and continued getting ready for the day. Soon, he heard his phone ping in response:
“Congratulations, definitely. Call me.”
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What’s next for John? It’s natural to celebrate a friend’s new job or business milestone while comparing yourself to them. Should John retire and/or sell?
Will Robert’s story have a happy ending?

Lori has the potential to be a fantastic funeral home manager. She has a natural charisma to build trust with consumers and coworkers, and she also keeps her eye on the details of the business. However, Lori also has a silver post in her left eyebrow and a blue streak in her dark hair. Mark doesn’t have any of those things – the charisma, eye for detail, or the piercing and dye job. He does have over 15 years of experience and knows the business inside and out.
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For the third time this month, Lori is staring at an empty shelf. It’s where the Bernard keepsake was supposed to be, but it’s not there. Mrs. Bernard is coming in today – she’d confirmed with her on the phone just yesterday. Before she even knows why it’s empty, she’s already blaming Mark and gearing up to talk to their manager about his inability to follow the process. The paperwork doesn’t show that the family picked the necklace up, but Mark didn’t note it down the last few times either.
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Lori is glaring at him through the arrangement room’s glass door. It must be the third time this month, and Mark cannot imagine why she’s giving him a hard time when he’s with a grieving family. He greeted Mrs. Bernard when she came to pick up the keepsake necklace and confirmed that all was well when Lori was on lunch earlier. Now, after farewelling Mrs. Bernard, he’s delayed his own break to assist this family who arrived more than an hour ago. He cannot deal with Lori’s attitude and this overdose arrangement on an empty stomach for much longer.
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How many assumptions can you identify in this story? How would you manage the conflicts?
What if you were Lori? What if you were Mark?

If you have read this far, you know there are infinite possibilities for the Kerry, Martin, Emily, Robert, John, Lori, and Mark in each of these stories. Your reaction to each of them may be a rich source of self-reflection and growth.

The funeral profession values stories. Obituaries and eulogies are stories, whether delivered in person or on social media. Funerals, memorial services and celebrations of life are places to gather and share memories and, yes, stories.

Your business has a story. Perhaps it started out with your great-grandfather building cabinets and coffins and has grown and evolved to his great-granddaughter running twelve locations and an online cremation business. Perhaps it began with you entering mortuary school, working hard in various funeral homes and now contemplating buying your own.
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Perhaps I haven’t heard your story yet, so I can’t relay it here. But your story matters. Your story helps you organize facts and make sense of life and death. Your story is changing and reacting to new challenges and opportunities. Sharing your story helps you make sense of it, and helps others grow from your experience. Seeing yourself in someone else’s story not only improves your emotional intelligence, but it means you’re that much better prepared to meet a similar challenge in the future.

There are so many compelling reasons to master the art of story and use it as the basis of all your communication. It can help you and your company attract and retain talent. It can help you and your staff to cope with change.
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Remember, your story matters to all of the many audiences who may hear it. Be sure to construct it carefully, test it and refine it, and shout it from the rooftops once it’s ready.

Below is a sneak peek at the keynote presentation for CANA’s 2022 Cremation Symposium, titled Storytelling for Funeral Service. If you haven’t secured your attendance, you can register here

​Storytelling as a marketing tactic has been buzzing around the industry for a couple of decades—especially since the Internet, and its ability to reach more people more often, became ubiquitous.
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But when asked to define storytelling, marketers often hem and haw. They hail it as the Next Big Thing in Business Development, but then fall back on cliches and misunderstandings. They mistake “branding” or “customer experience” for storytelling.

So let’s define our term right off the bat:

We could fill a book describing the benefits of brand storytelling. Among the chapter titles in that hypothetical book:“Storytelling is as Old as Homo Sapiens”

• “Storytelling Improves Memory”
• “Storytelling is How Kids Learn Things”
• “Storytelling Reveals the Things All People Share in Common”
• “Storytelling Boosts Oxytocin (the “Bonding Molecule”)”

All good reasons for your funeral business to spend time identifying and crafting great stories. But I want to briefly discuss an additional reason to tell your tell, which is brilliantly put by Will Storr, author of The Science of Storytelling:

Nearly all human behavior is driven by emotions. When we feel something, we respond—sometimes consciously, often not.

When a potential customer approaches your funeral home, they are in a heightened state of emotion. They’re either planning a funeral for a loved one (feeling grief) or pre-planning their own funeral (feeling nervous or sad).
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A great story can help them sort out—even if just to a small extent—the wild mix of feelings they’re dealing with. The alternative is far less effective. . .

The opposite of storytelling is “making claims.” This is what most businesses do:

• “We care about you.”
• “We will treat your loved one as if they were our own.”
• “We are 15% less expensive than our competitors.”
• “Our customers report having an excellent experience working with us.”
• “Last year, we helped more families in our state than any other funeral home.”

True or not, a “claim” is a mostly ineffective way of attracting attention and converting that connection into business. Why? Because when the human brain encounters a factual claim, our rational, conscious brains switch on in order for us to determine whether we believe the claim. Even if we believe the claim, we have moved out of our emotional selves and into our logical selves.
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Put more simply: If you want to persuade someone to do something, such as hire you to conduct a funeral, you want them feeling, not thinking.

In 2000, a global study suggested that the average human attention span is 12 seconds—i.e., we devote 12 seconds of conscious focus on a new piece of data until our minds move on to the next thing.
In 2013, another study reported that our attention spans had plummeted to eight seconds.

Twelve to eight seconds in just over a decade—what could account for that? You know, of course: the explosion of Internet technology, computers in our pockets, Instagram, lightning-fast broadband connections—all of it. Never in the history of our species have we had so little time to try and communicate so much.

But there’s good news. While you have very little time to connect with strangers, you have:

• More ways to find customers than ever before
• Technology and social media platforms galore on which to tell your business’ story
• Analytics to help you target your messages with hyper-specificity
• Designers who can make the ordinary beautiful and the beautiful unforgettable
• The Internet

Every time you set out to promote your funeral home, keep this refrain on repeat in your mind: I have eight seconds. I have eight seconds. I have eight seconds.

Once you have their interest, it’s time to tell your story. Here are some cornerstones of brand storytelling. We’ll discuss some of these in more detail at the CANA Symposium, but here’s an advance look.

1. Acknowledge the Customer’s Context: Create stories for every conceivable context, starting with the two most obvious ones we discussed earlier.
2. You Are Not the Hero: Your company is not the hero. The hero is your customers. When you craft stories, especially online, put your families front and center.
3. Find Your Adjective: Don’t just jump to something obvious, such as “compassionate,” and be done with it. Dig deeper.
4. Emphasize the Stakes: For a funeral home, the stakes often boil down to this question: What will happen if a person hires a different funeral home?
5. Invest in Storytelling: You don’t have to break the bank to tell good stories online. But you might need to spend more than you are right now. Invest in top-quality content now, reap the benefits for several turns of the calendar.

Hope to see you in Las Vegas in February! For more marketing, branding, content and storytelling tips, check out the Mighty Citizen Blog.

Andrew shares the stage with presentations from experts across the profession:

• Angelique Simpson of Matthews Aurora will talk about Creating a Culture of Trust at your business.
• Rolf Gutknecht, co-founder of LAads, will show you The Most Important Part of Cremation Marketing: The Message. A panel of practitioners sharing their results will follow.
• Lacy Robinson will help you with Embracing the DIY Consumer.
• Chris Cruger, CEO of The Foresight Companies, talks Business Ethics: How Ethical Behavior Plays a Vital Role in Funeral Service and Consumer Satisfaction.
• and CANA’s own Barbara Kemmis and Jennifer Werthman help you with Retaining and Engaging Employees Through Story.

Your funeral business has many stories to tell. How do you find them and tell them so that they set you apart and grow your business?  Join Adrew Buck and CANA for the 2022 Cremation Symposium February 9-11 at The LINQ Hotel + Experience in Las Vegas. Visit goCANA.org/CANAconnect to see what else we have planned for the event and register to join other innovative thinkers from across the profession. Session sponsored by Batesville

Hello, my name is Michael Dixon. I am the president and founder of Funeral Professionals Peer Support. Before I tell you why that date is so important, let’s go back a bit. I was born 57 years ago in Transcona, Manitoba to two amazing, successful parents. I was the youngest – and only – boy in a family of girls.

Growing up I had a lot of things stacked against me: I was born with a serious heart defect and a stutter, and in childhood I was sexually abused. The heart defect was cured and with a lot of work my stutter was overcome, but the scars of abuse stay with you forever. I hid it well. I buried it away by playing football and baseball, and, sadly, with alcohol. Upon graduating from high school and college, I started working in the hotel industry. After almost 10 years of that, I discovered that hotels just were not for me.

Funeral service was always my second choice out of high school, so I decided that I would give it a try. After finishing my 40 hours observation, I felt like I belonged for the first time. I was with people who were like me: kind, compassionate, and caring. I started working for a large funeral home and I was loving it. I was a sponge: I soaked in everything I was being taught, both by new directors and seasoned directors. Some are still my role models to this day.

Four years into my new profession, I began to work for a removal service that this funeral home owned. There I saw firsthand how truly cruel humans can be to each other. In a three-year period, I attended over 38 murders—scenes where people were shot, stabbed, and tortured—and some of them were just children. Car accidents, train accidents, and suicides were too numerous to mention. Some calls you will never forget, even though they happened over 20 years ago. I can still picture the Christmas gifts all over the road that came from a car that flipped over on Christmas Eve. I can remember the song that was playing on the radio at a murder scene, or the smell of blood, gas, or anti-freeze.
I know I am preaching to the choir, but things like this never leave your memory. They make you turn the radio off when you hear “Welcome to the Jungle“ or take another route in order to avoid the site of that accident, suicide, or murder scene that is embedded in your memory. Otherwise you get triggered. Or you stand in the doorway of your kids’ rooms watching them because your memory just won’t let you fall asleep. When you do sleep, it’s not a sound sleep for the recommended eight hours, because death does not just happen from Monday to Friday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.

But with all these negative things, I never wanted to leave the profession. I tried to do my job well, hiding my feelings of failure, my low self-esteem and loneliness. I always put on a brave face, using comedy and humour to hide the depression that was slowly taking over my life. I, like most people in funeral service, felt that I had no one to go to. I didn’t want to talk to my wife about what I was feeling. The people I worked with at the time did not offer a safe place to talk about your feelings. There were no organized debrief or talk-down sessions, and the ones we did have were usually at a bar with alcohol, which is not a positive healing environment. In that time, the feeling around our profession was “You knew what you were getting into.”
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So, like everyone else, I went ahead and did my job well. I made good work friends and worked hard, but, due to my depression, I was never myself. I was always putting on an act—which often got me in trouble at work and especially at home. I always felt that I never fit in at either place. I didn’t think of myself as a good person, especially not a good father and husband. I thought many times that everyone’s life would be better if I was not around.

One thing about depression, it’s a slow killer. The year 2015 should have been a great year: I had a beautiful home on a nice piece of land, my three amazing kids were successful and taking on the world; my wife was in a good job and an active, well-respective member of our community; I was in a job that I loved, and for the first time I felt loved and respected.
But things were starting to unravel for me. I had terrible anxiety. I hated to be away from home, and when I was at home, I was usually in my room, cut off from everyone. I was not sleeping well, I was having terrible anxiety attacks where it felt like a heart attack—trouble catching my breath, chest pains, etc. I was using alcohol now as a crutch more than I had done in the past, using it to give me confidence to go out, to make speeches, and to meet people.

A month before Christmas in 2015, I decided I’d had enough. I was tired. I was tired of going on. So, I planned this suicide attempt. I scouted out locations, bought a good insurance policy, even did a practice run. January 7th was the day. That Christmas, we went overboard on gifts and had a lot of parties. January 7th came and I got up at my normal time. I was not sad or upset. I was totally at peace. I kissed my wife goodbye, drove my son to school, and off I went, pulling into the parking lot at a park. I sat there having my last cigarette and thought “Okay, let’s do this.”

I opened the car door but for some reason I could not get out of the car. I could hear this voice in my head saying “It’s okay, I got you, make that call!” and I could feel these hands on my shoulder. I started to cry because I was thinking “Who would walk my daughter down the aisle or be there for my two sons and my wife?”
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In my despair, I made a deal with myself. I was going to call my doctor and, if someone answered the phone, I would go for help. If I must leave a message, I would walk in the forest. The phone rang once and a nurse picked up, and I thought “When does that happen? When do you ever call your doctor and they pick up the phone?” After telling the nurse that I was suicidal, my doctor came on the phone and told me to come to his office right away. After an hour of talking, I went for tests and I was diagnosed with severe depression and PTSD.

From that point on, I decided to not be quiet, but to be very open about my diagnosis. When I told my colleagues what I was dealing with, many of them said “Man, I am going through the same thing. I am tired, frustrated, and burnt out and I am thinking of leaving.” So, instead of staying quiet and only worrying about me, I reached out to a few friends and we decided to come together and organize the very first funeral service peer support group in the world.

Ottawa Funeral Peer Support was born. Our profession finally had a place where people could meet and share their personal struggles and get the support and encouragement to get help. In January of the following year, we started to get press coverage from local newspapers, which other news outlets from across Canada picked up. We then started to get requests to do radio and TV interviews both locally and internationally.

Once that happened, we started to hear from funeral directors across Canada saying “We need this in our communities. We need support.” We realized quickly that our long-term goal had to be our right now goal, and Canadian Funeral Peer Support was born. Within a year, support groups have come up in New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, not to mention Ottawa, Hamilton, and Winnipeg all in Ontario. There is also serious interest in Alberta, British Columbia, Toronto, and Windsor.

Then COVID hit. Our peer support groups met in person so, when everything shut down, we had to come up with a plan to stay connected with our people. It was then decided that each group would host Zoom meetings, which opened us up to funeral professionals from around the world. We started to have people connect with us from throughout the United States as well as England, Italy, Australia, and Kenya. We started to hear from people everywhere that this is something they needed and wanted to be part of.

Our management team got together and we realized we are no longer just a Canadian company. We had to go international. In February of 2021 we started an international support line for licenced and non-licenced funeral staff, along with their families. With a phone call or text, you can speak to a counselor with funeral service experience that will listen and help guide you through any issue you have—for both work or non-work-related issues. We became Funeral Professionals Peer Support (FPPS).

One thing that has made us successful is we have always responded to a need. This year, we brought Peer Support groups into the United States. We are reaching funeral professionals from across the United States and Canada with online support meetings and educational webinars.

FPPS has learned is that there is no “extra money“ from our governments for mental health care. That’s why it is now the responsibility that all businesses make positive mental health care a priority in our workplaces. It is our belief that funeral service can be the leader in the goal of a positive workplace.

Stats tell the story of where we are now:

• In a Work and Well-Being Survey less than half of working Americans reported that their organization supports the well being of its employees.
• In 2014, $186 billion was spent on Health care services to treat mental health issues in the US
• 44.7 million adults 18 or older reported mental illness and burnout in 2016
• 8.8 million adults reported visiting a mental health provider in the past 12 months

Poor mental health and stress can negatively affect employees:

1. Job performance
2. Engagement at work
3. Physical capability and daily functioning
4. Absenteeism

We can’t go on doing the same thing and expecting different results. We have lost too many amazing, talented people in our profession to suicide and burnout. That’s why, as a profession, we can be the leaders. We joined this profession because we care about people. Now it’s time to care for one another.

Peer Support is now being looked at and valued as a positive first step in mental health care around the world. In Canada, federal government departments are now instituting peer support groups for their employees. In Canada and the United States, first responders and the military are starting peer groups as well.

Peer Support helps you meet with people that speak your language, learn from people who have been where you are, and support each other. We provide tools that are applicable to the job, make no judgement, ensure confidentiality and offer the opportunity to give back. Our groups have had speakers talk about burnout, stress, compassion fatigue, yoga, healthy eating and—my favorite—personal support animals. All valuable insight into a healthy work and home life.
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If you are interested in a Peer group in your community or you have any questions please visit us at www.funeralpeersupport.com or call 343-961-2470.


Funeral Professionals Peer Support is committed to the improvement of our brothers and sisters’ mental health. My hope is that no one else in our profession is ever sitting in a park alone in their car playing roulette with their life.

The holiday season is usually the most difficult time of the year for families who have lost loved ones. Empty seats at the table or around the tree are painful reminders of those who are no longer with us. For so many of these folks, death and the holidays just aren’t a great combination.

For the makers of holiday movies, though, death is a favorite — if not necessary — ingredient in the recipe for a Hollywood-worthy happy ending. But as with most every element of these addictive stories, death itself, and the realities surrounding it, aren’t part of the fantasy.

There’s plenty of Christmas content out there, especially with today’s multi-device streaming options. Even so, Hallmark — yes, the greeting card company — has become the go-to source for a particular type of holiday movie. Each year, the original Hallmark Channel and its suspense-filled spinoff, the Hallmark Movies & Mysteries channel, switch to an all-holiday lineup sometime in late October. Up to 50 million viewers devour at least one Hallmark holiday movie every year.

So what makes these movies so darned popular? As someone who fits right into the networks’ target demographic (women aged 25 to 54) and has admittedly fallen under the Hallmark movie magic spell, I’ll attempt to explain.

Simply put, Hallmark movies are an indulgent, uplifting escape from reality. Unlike real life, every single Hallmark movie, even a mystery version, has a happy ending. Viewers take comfort in the fact that before the credits roll, all loose ends will be tidily tied up, the always-attractive main characters’ life-altering decisions will be made and their problems solved, and every featured individual/couple/family will send us off as they hug, kiss, and/or sport happy, huge smiles.

For two hours at a time, we can forget our imperfect, busy, or boring lives and imagine that it’s actually possible to travel back in time, to serendipitously reunite with your childhood sweetheart, for the prince of an enchanting (if mythical) kingdom to fall for an American commoner, for beloved Main Street businesses at the brink of bankruptcy to be saved in their final hours, or that a sophisticated and successful big-city girl can find happiness in her hokey-yet-charming hometown

Every holiday season, Hallmark movie writers crank out dozens of new titles (there are 40 first-run options in 2020 alone) that put a new spin on these timeworn tropes. No matter the storyline, though, the inevitably neat ending nearly always includes the coupling of two unusually good-looking adults. Most often, at least one of these individuals is a widow or widower (sometimes with one to three precocious, adorable children) still mourning the death of their impossibly perfect, seemingly-irreplaceable spouse.
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Take a look at these excerpts from some of 2019’s and 2020’s plot synopses:

Beautiful widows and handsome widowers falling in love isn’t the only death-related plotline in these films. The death or impending demise of a parent sometimes serves as the impetus for new opportunities for the main characters. A daughter returns to her hometown to take over her deceased parents’ business or sell her family home, or a prince becomes king when his father dies … which puts them in a perfect position to fall in love with the real estate agent/contractor or search for a suitable queen.

Here are a few other recent Hallmark movie plots that depend on death to make the movie’s magic possible:

Although the Hallmark Christmas movie machine embraces and leverages the concept of death in its plotlines, it’s quite rare to see the mechanics of deathcare portrayed on the screen. Viewers usually learn of the deceased spouse or parent early in the story — a widow lovingly holds a framed photo of her late husband and tells him how much she misses him or how she doesn’t know how she’ll go on without him, or someone shares their condolences about the passing of the main characters’ parent as she packs her suitcase for her trip home. Every so often your clue is an urn on a mantle or someone kneeling by a headstone engraved with “Loving wife and mother” and two dates illustrating a sadly short life span.

Off-season made-for-TV movies may show a smattering of black-clad mourners at the tail-end of a graveside service or a dramatic outburst during a wake in the deceased’s lovely home. There’s no place for these realities in the Christmas movie fantasy, though.
Maybe there’s too much snow dreamily falling for a graveside service, or a funeral couldn’t be scheduled around the town’s traditional Christmas play/community tree decoration ceremony, or perhaps a funeral home isn’t as storybook-worthy as the village toy shop, cafe, or bookstore. Most likely, it’s because ugly crying isn’t pretty, and real death and its accoutrements are sad. In Hallmark holiday movies, crying is only allowed when it’s done daintily and sadness is an emotion reserved for the five-or-so-minute climax of the plot, right after the couple that was destined to be together has an argument, but before they inevitably see the error of their ways and reunite.

There’s also no place in Christmas movies for funeral directors, arrangement meetings, casket rooms (or caskets themselves, for that matter), embalming, or crematories. Viewers don’t want to hear eulogies or watch people file through a visitation line. They know someone has died, but they don’t want to deal with the death.

If you have time this season, find a Hallmark Channel (or Lifetime, or even Netflix, for that matter) and escape into one (or six) of these Christmas movies — it’s a proven winning formula, so they’re easy to find, especially these days. Pay attention to the role death plays in the plots, and how it’s portrayed. Let us know if you find one that does justice to the deathcare profession.
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Or create your own Christmas movie storyline: A single and gorgeous fourth-generation funeral director is about to lose his family’s funeral home, but while meeting with a grieving family he catches the eye of the deceased’s newly-wealthy daughter …
Wow — this stuff practically writes itself!

Explaining that what separates good content from great content is a willingness to make a statement by using humor and pushing the envelope, Lindsey started with a look at some creative, out-of-the-box ads from fellow funeral professionals. In this commercial from French Funerals, a woman in mourning black contemplates choosing the right coffee can for her mother’s ashes. It’s hard, you see, because her mother preferred tea. Such a difficult decision could have been avoided, the commercial warns, with a little advance planning.

In a similar vein, a French Canadian cemetery ad depicts an urn reposing on the shelf in the garage, in a closet, and in a tool shed, asking if this was truly anyone’s final wish. It touches two ideas, 1) that many people have occupied urns sitting at home, and 2) they likely feel guilty about it or want a suggestion of what to do with them. So this ad suggests a solution that puts concerns to rest.

Lindsey’s own company recently hired a professional to create a commercial that incorporates the funeral home therapy dog, Fletcher. Not only do people love Fletcher when they visit the funeral home, but having animals involved always attracts notice. So much so that CANA Member Heffner Cares reached out to their local therapy alligator, Allie, for a visit and a video. These videos show the funeral home, the staff, and something that makes their business unique – with a bit of humor.

These work best, Lindsey says, because we’re selling experiences, not products. And not just the chance to cuddle with a dog (or an alligator!), but to create a memorial that makes a memory for a family. We have to remember that in our campaigns.
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The Portuguese funeral home Funalcoitão shows how they work to do “more than burials. We pay tribute.” Their commercial features personal touches with the narrator describing how the smiling deceased had wanted to be commemorated in just that way – pulled by a donkey, showered in confetti, surrounded by loved ones.

Gracie Griffin of Bellefontaine Cemetery talked about the cemetery’s Facebook campaigns developed in partnership with a marketing firm who specializes in social media campaigns. Together, they set three goals and designed three campaigns to achieve them. The first was to grow their Facebook followers, and, from that campaign, they discovered that, of the options, mausoleum photos were the most successful – go figure.

For the second goal, to grow their email list, Gracie wrote an ebook on green burials. Designed as an inbound marketing campaign, people needed to enter their contact information to get their free download. And lastly, to encourage tourism and engage their community, they quiz people on the celebrities buried in their cemetery based on a few facts and a silhouette. Correct answers in the comments don’t deter others from answering – everyone wants to be seen as smart in their groups!

No matter how you approach your marketing, it’s always important to try something new.

At CANA, we love group brainstorming discussions to answer strategic questions about the next summit we want to reach. Lindsey and Welton left a few questions to fuel your next brainstorming staff meeting and help you refine your market strategy:

Dear Friends and Colleagues,

I am reaching out to you because you have been a resource and guide for families.

Times are so very strange and challenging and fearful right now and we know that everyone is scrambling to figure out how we honor our dead and support our bereaved from a distance. This is our daily struggle. I know you are dealing with so many questions and unknowns and facing families on their worst day with very few answers to give them. I also know that many churches and clergy are not available to conduct funerals for anyone—even their own church members. Local governments across the world are already telling families they cannot attend funerals. Now we are faced with a world-wide experience that no one could prepare for. We are here, to care for the dead and speak for the bereaved. You are a hero every day, and especially today.

Now is our time to shine. Whether you are a licensed funeral director, a Celebrant, clergy, officiant, chaplain—or one of those myriads of other roles who serve families—we have a bunch of talented and creative people here. Let's think about how to create services that capture the moment and invite people to feel close even when they can't be there.

What I want to offer to each of you is this—if you have families who would like to have a small service now, reach out to a Celebrant in your area, or use my free resource to inspire you, and find a way to connect families at this difficult time. Arrange to meet with them by phone or Facetime or Zoom and gather the stories and put together a service that you can give them now by webcast, or just by print.
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Some of you may find yourself needing to do more family meetings by phone, Facetime or Skype. If you are not familiar with how to do those, ask a teenager—they are out of school with nothing to do right now so they can be your tech support.

Phone family meetings are challenging and you will need to work a little harder to connect with the family and to get them to open up. There's just nothing like face-to-face meetings, but that may not be possible right now.

Some of you may find yourself doing services via webcasting or video or for family only. These situations can also be challenging, but just keep focusing on meeting the needs of the family and the best way to tell the unique story of their loved one, no matter who is sitting in front of you. Or not, as the case may be.

For example—virtual candle lighting ceremonies—invite everyone who is watching to go find a candle/flashlight/something that can light up. Play some quiet background music to give people a moment to do that. Then have everyone light their lights at the same time. Even if you are not on a virtual platform where people can see each other, we can talk about the power of thoughts and presence being represented by our lights.

That's just one that popped into my head.

My thought is two-fold—the fear is, if they walk away now they’ll never come back. If they have a service already prepared and ready, they might be more willing to come back and actually have a chapel service. Or, at the least, they will just have the words to read that will hopefully provide some comfort and guidance for them in this very dark and lonely time and they will be grateful to the funeral home for providing this.

Grief does not wait and demands that we embrace it. We all are grieving our losses right now--loss of movement, loss of income, loss of friends and family, loss of security, loss of trust. A death just magnifies those feelings and the sense of isolation. As the people who are trained for this work, we can help families walk this path and give words of solace and comfort and ways to put the stories in a place that will help.

Every life deserves to be celebrated. Even when we are together from afar.

These are difficult times, for the families, for the funeral directors, for the Celebrants, for everyone. So, let's support each other, be kind, be generous, be vigilant—and wash your hands!

Let me know how we can stand with you in this uncertain time. We are all partners in serving families, even on the hardest days.

Take care and be well!!

The first thing to consider is how the services will be presented.

Some firms already offer webcasting and are comfortable and positioned for this situation. Others will be figuring out very rapidly how to procure the equipment and software and skills.

There are professional companies that offer streaming services on a per service or a monthly fee. You have probably already been contacted by some of these companies in the past few days.

There are public platforms such as Zoom, Facebook Live, Go to Meeting, WebX, etc. Consult with others who have used any of these platforms or services for advice or tips on what works or pitfalls to avoid. For example, Gordon Welch, Executive Director of the Oklahoma Funeral Directors Association informed us that Facebook routinely mutes music streamed on Facebook Live. Apparently, Facebook’s agreements with song producers require Facebook to mute music broadcast over the platform. Unfortunately, BMI, ASCAP and SESAC are not parties to these agreements so there is no way to solve the muting problems with Facebook. Therefore platforms like Zoom, Vimeo or Skype who are not parties to the same type of music copyright infringements agreements work better but still require a webcasting license.

LIVE STREAM WITH FAMILY PRESENT WITH NO PARTICIPANTS VISIBLE ON THE SCREEN.

​Suggestions:

LIVE STREAM WITH OR WITHOUT FAMILY PRESENT AND PARTICIPANTS ARE VISIBLE ON THE SCREEN

Suggestions:

TAPING FOR LATER BROADCAST

OUTSIDE SERVICES

Download the free Ceremonies to Celebrate Together From Afar Resource for Challenging Times as a pdf here.

With everyone seeking information on COVID-19 right now, CANA plans to host a weekly conference call for our members to convene and ask questions of one another, talk best practices, and learn together about COVID-19. Check your inbox for instructions to join, or contact Membership Manager Brie Bingham for more information.

CANA continues to frequently update a blog entry related to COVID-19 as new information becomes available. Be sure to bookmark the blog post and revisit as needed: GoCANA.org/covid19.

As more millennials become consumers of your business, they aren’t wanting the traditional. They’re not thinking about that at all. What they want is experiences. Think about how Pokémon Go was able to get nerds out of their homes and running around, chasing after ridiculous phantoms. That’s what the events industry saw. Pokémon Go reached out to every generation, but millennials are going to change the way all of us have to do business.

In preparing for this presentation, we met with CANA members in Las Vegas. One member said his career has been traditional funerals followed by cremation. Now, families combine memorial and reception with island music playing with a bar and a food buffet of shrimp with a slideshow playing. Fill the chapel with silk plants and soft lighting – people love it. It’s a meaningful experience. The family then invites attendees to share words of remembrance, not a clergy member.

One member said that they had just spent a lot of money renovating their funeral home, because they want to keep families there. They offer food and families can BYOB since the business can’t have a liquor license. So they emphasize convenience – it’s all here, simplifying the decision-making for their families and keeping the service in-house.

If the other option is to lose the business, become an event coordinator. Think about your direct cremation families. Let’s say 25% aren’t using your facility. So, how can you get them to come back? Don’t think about the families you’re doing well with, think about the ones you’re gaining by planning events that mean something to the families.

In preparing for this presentation, I spent a lot of time reading about what is coming down the pike for us. These are the trends we’re talking about in the events industry, but you can see how many they apply to the modern funeral.

EXPERIENTIAL GET-TOGETHERS
This means people being involved – the talking heads, the powerpoints, that’s not what people are looking for anymore. We are talking about an experience that translates to a memory. More than anything else, events are about memories.

And a funeral shares lifelong memories. There are ways to do that through technology, but it’s really important to sit down and talk to the family about what they want to get out of this gathering.

CUSTOMIZED CONTENT
The most fundamental question you can ask is “How does this event succeed?” No two events (including funerals) are the same, so don’t make assumptions about them or the funeral, but ask the family what they envision for the event.

Here, you can tell a story about someone’s life. Sit down with the family and ask them about the experience they want people to have and make it a personal experience for them and the people that gather.

SMALLER, SHORTER MEETINGS
While this one might be more obvious for the corporate event, it really means that people don’t want to sit in a chair for three hours. People prefer events that are small, shorter, and invite interaction or keep a variety of speakers talking all day.

USE OF TECHNOLOGY
This has been around for a while, but the technology changes every year. In events, we use technology throughout the planning process from designing the space and layout, through the way that it contributes to the experience at the event. Technology enables the use of emotional memorial videos, favorite songs, and even controlled lighting to set the atmosphere of the space.

But don’t use technology just to have it, and don’t have it just to say you do. There must be a reason behind it and it must be used to make the event and the experience better. Whether it’s used to improve event planning or in the production of a keepsake video, technology can enhance the experience.

FOOD AND BEVERAGE TRENDS
If you’ve ever planned a big event in a special location – think a wedding at the Bellagio – there are specific rules about food and beverage. They don’t want you to bring in an outside caterer – they want to keep that revenue in-house. If your facility is large enough to add catering, this can be a great service to add to your business. If it’s not, you can work with local catering companies to develop special relationships that add value to your services.

One of the most important things we think about in events is the food. It’s one of the most common memories from an event – we congregate around food. Adding food to any of your packages is a great idea, especially if your family is not affiliated with a church group that brings food to the family. Gourmet nostalgia – a new twist to an old favorite (e.g., lobster mac-and-cheese, chocolate chili) – is really in. Growing up in Indiana, some of the best food I ever had was at funerals. What kind of foods are you seeing served at your events?

The local and sustainable “farm-to-table” has been around for a while, and people and chefs are very interested in buying locally and sharing the best that they can. The grass-fed beef raised without hormones is healthier and tastier.

We’re moving away from processed foods as the general population becomes much more interested in eating healthy. We’re seeing new cuts of meats and chefs are moving toward using the entire animal. Catering menus, and your own menus, now involve bone marrow, chicken skins, pork neck. I know that my family, in Tipton, Indiana, went to the Pork Festival every year (my mother was actually Pork Queen!), so being able to involve the foods that address the culture or the person is very important in your events.

One of the trends is do-it-yourself cocktails and mocktails, and some funeral homes have even acquired a liquor license. I don’t know about you, but I think liquor would make a celebration of life a lot more fun. I can imagine mine being my favorite drink – vodka tonic – and my favorite foods, and everybody just has a great celebration. Do-it-yourself cocktails and mocktails – if you don’t have a liquor license cocktails are hard, but mocktails are easy.

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO HELP MAKE MEMORIES FOR ATTENDEES?
Get them involved in the planning process. This is a way they can feel like they’re contributing to the legacy of the deceased. Solicit input from the larger family to make it special. Music, photos, fragrance – these can raise memories for attendees and make a lasting impression.

Much of the direction of the event is determined by tone. We talk a lot in the event industry about tone and theme. They’re related, but not the same. Tone is how people feel when they’re in the room, the atmosphere of the event. Tone can be defined by lighting, ritual, language, and the design of the event is defined by and reinforces the tone.

I haven’t been to a lot of funerals, but, at the best ones, I learned a lot I didn’t know about the person who died. Finding ways to bring that out, to show different sides, is valuable and what I think the person would have wanted. Themes can be defined by the interests and hobbies of the deceased – fishing, motorcycles, and related mementos.

PARTICIPATION IN PLANNING AND THE EVENT
This is not only a great way to be inclusive, but also a great way to increase attendance and make memories that are long-lasting. Since funerals have tight timelines, it can be difficult to get many people participating – in some cases, waiting for families to get back to us can slow us down – this is where technology is key. An event planning portal, or even a private chat on Facebook, can keep everyone informed and attuned to the schedule. The benefit of their participation will out-weigh the inconvenience of the family being involved if you can manage them. And be up-front. Ask if these tools will help gather the key voices that should be heard.

SELECT UNIQUE AND INTERESTING VENUES IF POSSIBLE.
This is a trend in every industry, and funerals are no exception. For team-building events and corporate conferences, planners are looking for interesting places (and it’s not just physical challenges – cooking a meal can be a great team activity.) Similarly, destination weddings and funerals are growing. Developing a relationship with venues in your area and they will become your partner in making memorable events. Get to know them, their space, and preferences and they will bend over backwards for you when you need them.

MMERSIVE SENSORY EXPERIENCES
Today, 3D Mapping is possible for most events and venues. This technology combines the use of fabrics used as screens with projected imagery. It may seem out of financial reach, but it will only continue to drop in price and rise in popularity. Imagine how powerful it could be to create this for your families and embody the tone and theme of your event.

THE HOLOGRAMS ARE COMING!
Some of you are going to think this is too out there, but I still want to mention holograms. People are still talking about Tupac performing at Coachella in 2012, years after his death. More and more deceased celebrities are performing at events. Now, it’s still very expensive – you can’t set up shop and do this now – but it too will come down in price. There’s already technology where you can open a book and enjoy a hologram.
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It’s going to happen. I can see a day where the decedent could eulogize her own funeral or perform her favorite song. Maybe it’s not them, maybe it’s their favorite companion, or another person, but it’s out there.