 Everyone is tired of hearing the phrase “These are unprecedented times,” but a worldwide pandemic that has affected our profession and our lives as much as this one has is truly unprecedented. As a result, this makes for a very difficult time, both physically and emotionally. We all rose to the call—and still are. Some in different ways and some with different needs. And we are coming out better on the other side. As we often hear, “The more difficult the situation, the higher the reward.” I truly believe we will be better funeral directors and better cemeterians and better cremationists as a result of this pandemic. This was very much a positive learning experience for us all. As an industry, we pushed to new levels and encountered unchartered territory. During all of this, the creativity and resourcefulness of those in our profession does not surprise me. It is our job to respond to families on a daily basis, to listen to them carefully and explore effective ways to serve their needs while protecting everyone’s safety. But we can’t do it alone. We rely on the collaboration and generosity of our colleagues and the stamina and ingenuity of our staff. Professional associations play an important role, too. It is CANA and it is organizations like CANA—be they national, state, provincial, or local—that have been tremendously resourceful on behalf of funeral directors and cremationists. In a crisis such as this, we are so busy in the field that we often do not have the time, the energy, or the means to educate ourselves and our staff with the most current information. We benefit from expert guidance to learn how to properly protect ourselves. It’s really helpful to hear what professionals advise and what other colleagues are doing to cope. One year in, we asked some industry leaders to share their reflections and pass along what they’ve learned during the past year. I’ve added my own story from Texas as well. Knowing how busy everyone is, we’re grateful for these responses and send our support to everyone as we all continue to meet the challenges of this pandemic. - W. SCOTT SMITH, CANA PRESIDENT Mike Lanotte • New York State Funeral Directors AssociationReflecting on the past twelve months, it is hard to find the right words to describe it. “Unprecedented” has been used, if not overused, but still, to me, feels like the one word that most accurately describes what has occurred. I still vividly recall the first day COVID impacted funeral service in New York. It was the afternoon of March 12, 2020 and we had just finished the Association’s quarterly board meeting when we learned about the first gathering limits. That moment until mid-summer was a blur. Due to the rapid spread of COVID and increasingly high death toll, especially in downstate New York, we had months filled with constant changes and stresses on the death care system never before seen. And, in turn, we supported our members in ways we never had before. The most impactful and important role we played (according to our members) was as a communicator. We sent out at least daily emails with updates, created a COVID resource page, hosted weekly webinars and served as an advocate with state and local government to ensure our members had the resources they needed to meet their role as public health officials and so they remained able to serve families in their time of need. We also became the chief spokesperson for funeral service, with local to international media conducting TV and radio interviews as well as speaking with countless reporters for printed stories. We (both the NYSFDA and our funeral directors) quickly became experts in the use of technology. Platforms like Zoom and Skype became essential for communicating with our members and for our funeral directors to communicate and work with families. The pandemic also accelerated the use of technology with our state and local government agencies that support death care. Paper heavy processes like completing death certificates and issuing burial permits pivoted to electronic means within days. Many of the changes we adapted to in the spring and summer of 2020 remain in place. The use of technology to conduct business is a change we expect will become permanent which will, in the long run, help both the association serve our members and the funeral directors run their business and serve families. Others, like the restrictions on gatherings have certainly taken a toll on those who have lost a loved one and the funeral directors who take such great pride in being the experts in helping families through the first stages of grief. Seeing those restrictions phased out will be a welcome sight. So, as we navigate through what we hope are the final stages of the pandemic and return to some sense of normalcy, we remain steadfast in our efforts to support our members so they can continue to fulfill their vital role. We are also thankful and so very appreciative for the sacrifices they made, risks they took and endless compassion they displayed throughout the past year. Sandra Walker • Washington Cemetery, Cremation & Funeral Association2020 will forever be the year that lives in infamy for many if not all of us. When I think back to the last twelve months, the words fear, vulnerable, confusion, chaos, stress, disruptive, and game-changing all come to my mind. It was late January 2020 when we learnt about the first case of COVID 19 in our state. I did not think much of it and was not concerned about its impact in our community. After all, we have had other viruses and I was certain it would be contained. Was I ever wrong! I began to realize the magnitude when the stay-at-home order was issued by our governor. What did this all mean for our profession? That ugly word nobody wants to talk about (death) was everywhere. People were dying. Italy and New York stood out. It was early March that my world began to be impacted. It started with us having to cancel two of the three regional mini conferences scheduled for the WCCFA association members. It turned out to be the first of many decisions I had to make as a leader this past year that required courage and being firm in doing what it is right even though people would be and were upset. This was the beginning of a long hard journey that continues to this day. No funerals? Immediate family only funerals? These were the ever-changing directives from our governor’s office with not much clarity to each definition. Chaos, confusion, anger, and tears—this was everyone’s (ours and our families) response. How does one tell a grieving attendee who unexpectedly showed up that we are over capacity? This was and is still our reality. Funeral directors had to be explicit in our directions and communications. We had to move into a pro-active mode of communication by emailing guidelines to families and having families sign a document that spells out the guidelines and agree that they understood we were required to enforce them. The biggest challenge for us was how to do our job with all these restrictions and social distancing requirements. Building rapport with families has always been drilled into me my entire profession. How do we build this rapport when we cannot hug, touch, or even see our families? How do we let them know we still care and their loved one is safe remotely? We already had Livestreaming and the ability for families to do online arrangement conferences and electronic documents. The challenge was for our staff to effectively use them so the level of service would not be impacted. The telephone has always been an important tool for us, but now our livelihood depends on it. Our words have to be clear, concise and demonstrate empathy, compassion, and trust. This requires training. With a lot of restrictions at all facilities where people passed, we realized we had an opportunity to give families a chance to say goodbye. Emails were sent to all our local nursing homes, hospitals, and other gate keepers letting them know we do allow people to see their loved ones. This past year, we have seen a huge increase in “identification” view and viewings in general. I realized we do not place enough value in this for our families. We are now working on educating our community on this. A year later, we are hopeful with the vaccines that soon we will see things resume to normalcy. In our state, it does not seem immediate. My mindset has shifted from temporary crisis management and doing the best we can to how we plan and build the future and permanency of our business amidst this pandemic and recovery years. 2020 was a curse but a gift as well. A gift in helping me realize that we can serve families in different ways and still do it effectively. Embracing technology and e-commerce is so important. Understanding the most important asset in our organization is our staff. These were individuals whose personal lives were crumbling all around with them with schools being shut down, family members being sick or dying and still choosing to show up every day to care for others. Most importantly, when faced with a problem, we must tap into our creative sides to come up with a solution that is still legal, ethical, and moral. Personally, I grew as a person and as a leader. I was afraid of getting sick of COVID and potentially dying from it before my children turned 18. I was afraid to get the vaccine when it became available to us. As a matter of fact, I canceled my initial appointment. On January 14th, I finally received my first dose of the vaccine. I am still fearful of what might come of it. Fear is a powerful motivator; I choose to feel it and push through it. My words for 2021 are hope and trust! Rob Goff, CFSP • Washington State Funeral Directors AssociationWhen I became Executive Director of WSFDA in 2018, the board and I worked to find solutions that met the needs of our members and leadership across the state while relocating the office to Spokane. Our Member Talks YouTube series, now also a podcast, and Zoom meant that we could talk to our members and each other without a five-hour commute. Little did we know how valuable these solutions would be a year later. I can break the last year in thirds, each a major hurdle we had to meet for our members. The first was PPE. As the first epicenter of the pandemic, Washington was unable to prepare for the PPE shortage. We joined the state’s Emergency Operations Command to source PPE, but funeral directors were constantly shifting from the front of the line for supplies to the very back. We had to combat their belief that we were “simply picking up bags” from the coroner and educate these colleagues on what our job is really like. The next hurdle was gathering restrictions. In a matter of days, funerals were limited to 50 people, to 20, to none at all. Meanwhile, I was in constant communication with the state and local departments of health tracking these orders to make sure we were in compliance. The problem was that the people we had worked with for resolving the PPE issue had been moved or transferred to different departments. When the PPE task force dissolved, we had to build all new relationships within the State – every conversation was rebuilding channels of information to get answers. It was a crazy year, juggling each crisis, and sometimes all three at the same time. Now, we’re dealing with the third hurdle—vaccine access—and figuring out if mortuary workers are listed in 1a, 2b, or even on the Vaccine distribution list at all. Each government agency we spoke with provided us with a different answer. Officially, Mortuary Workers are listed in a Phase 2b category by the Dept. of Health. However, many counties in Washington have begun Offering vaccines to mortuary workers. Now, I hope that the goal of 40,000-vaccines-a-day by April works. As a profession, I hope we can take what we’ve learned as use it moving forward. The first being the tech options to meet remotely, the second the value of PPE and universal precautions. I want to get back to where we were or back to something new. As for my third year as Executive Director of WSFDA, I don’t know what it will bring, but I’m looking forward to it. Larry Stuart, Jr. • Cremation Strategies & ConsultingWho would have thought that we would STILL, one year later, be locked down, wearing masks, not visiting our friends and family outside of our bubble (or feeling guilty about cheating), and all the other calamity that has left so much in shambles? The vaccine is finally here but what a struggle to get vaccinated in some places. How does funeral service NOT qualify for the first round? I do not know about you, but I have never been so jaded concerning something so critical ever in my life. Safely jaded of course. I wear a mask, stay 6 feet away, and use curbside pickup (that will hopefully never go away), but I refuse to let this thing get me down. Although I do not travel with anywhere near the frequency that I did before March 2020, I am not afraid to get on an airplane. I was home from March 12 through September 28, but I have, since then, taken two business trips and am currently on a plane to my “warm office” in Central America for the second time. What is my point here? When you are going through hell, just keep going! Early on, especially in the New York City area, the number of deaths and cremations were overloading the capacity of the city’s crematories. My first thought was “be careful you don’t overuse and abuse these units, or they will break down and you will be in even deeper trouble!” The States of New York and New Jersey even waived emission restrictions allowing crematoria to operate virtually non-stop to keep up, and now many areas of California are doing the same. When anyone asked me what the most important thing to consider regarding crematory operations during the pandemic, this is what I preached: a balance of customer service and safe, efficient operations. As hard as it is to be the cause of a delay in returning a loved one to their family, returning the wrong person because you were rushing is far worse. For the most part people understand. Sadly, the media has chosen to highlight the worst of funeral service during this time, not the best. The massive majority of deathcare professionals go above the call of duty to serve, finding ways to provide service within the parameters of the current regulations, embracing technology with open arms, making adjustment after adjustment to our already deep set-in procedures and processes, and more. This is not easy and can become very tiresome—even debilitating. I can honestly say I am even sick of hearing about self-care and all that goes along with that, but we cannot let up yet. We still have a way to go and we cannot become complacent. One positive aspect of this pandemic is that people are realizing that mourning their dead is important, necessary, and valuable. And we need funeral service professionals to lead the way. So, what is the answer to getting through this? Keep going! Scott Smith • Texas Funeral Directors Association & CANA PresidentI’ve had the great honor to be a part of and preside over many deathcare organizations, including the Texas Funeral Directors Association (TFDA). As chairperson for the TFDA Texas Disaster Response Team, I and my team have been dispatched to assist with a lot of different types of missions. But the COVID-19 response in the summer was very different. We quickly saw that the plans we had in place—the training that we had for mass fatalities and weather-related search and rescues—were not the plans we needed for a pandemic. In other types of missions, we generally know the number of decedents in advance, but COVID-19 was different. We had a large number of decedents to deal with immediately, in coordination with funeral homes, crematories, and cemeteries in the region who were all overwhelmed and past capacity. We had to establish long-term, secure holding facilities to hold the decedents still coming in. Our team worked long hours, and after the adrenaline wore off, the stress set in. The deathcare workers, healthcare workers, and local municipalities were stretched beyond measure. We saw funeral homes unable to do business because of staff shortage due to COVID-19. This was difficult for all of us involved. For you as a funeral professional and a cremationist, being prepared will certainly put you in a less stressful situation when and if the need arises in your area. First and foremost, you need to ensure that you and your team are safe and healthy. There are not a lot of people in your community who do what you do. If you and your staff members contract this virus it can potentially force you to shut your business down and, even worse, lead to serious long-term medical complications. I know I have faced this firsthand, as I’m sure many of you have, with staff members that are out on quarantine. Prepare yourself and your staff to minimize exposure to surviving family members. Make sure you’re fully staffed, prepare your staff for long hours and also prepare for another weak link in this system: transportation. If you’re a crematory owner, make sure your equipment is in good working condition and ready for extreme use. Secondly, it is important to prepare for increased cold storage capacity. This has been the number one issue on every mission that our team has been a part of. This may become the biggest obstacle to overcome as your community encounters large numbers of COVID-related death. Lastly, remember that you have colleagues willing to help. During this crisis I saw competitors that were normally probably not the closest of friends coming together to help each other for the common good. Almost all state and provincial associations have resources available to help you. Don’t be afraid to ask. Preparation today will lessen some of the stress down the road. Remember to take care of yourself through these difficult and changing times. There is no silver bullet to make this easy. We’ve all struggled with long hours, subbing with team members so we can get rest. Being organized and trying to prepare is the best way to get through this and prevent burnout. If you need help with your business operations, supporting your staff, or sourcing supplies, reach out to your local, state/provincial, or national association. These caring professionals are just a handful of the many who are ready to provide information and a helping hand.
For more of Scott’s story and recognizing and preventing burnout, watch the webinar recording Health for the Holidays: Self-Care Webinar for Funeral Professionals. CANA Members can find more in Vol. 57, Iss. 1 of The Cremationist. Not a member yet? See why CANA continues to grow.
CANA is planning to meet in-person in Seattle for the 103rd Annual Cremation Innovation Convention, August 11-13, 2021 at the Seattle Westin. Watch the website and your email for updates and registration information. We send special thanks to Rob and Sandra for their hospitality!
Consumers have driven the popularity of cremation and funeral directors, cemeterians and crematory operators are doing their best to keep up with demand. In May 2019, Homesteaders Life Company and CANA set out to explore a consumers’ experience with cremation from women who personally made the arrangements for a loved one. Our goal was to explore beyond multiple choice responses to get to the question “Why?”. When we dig down to uncover motivations for their decisions, we can attempt to understand their experience from beginning to end. Put simply, we sought to better discover the cremation experience.
We listened to the perspectives of several groups over the course of three months. All participants were Baby Boomer-aged women living in Phoenix, Arizona or Nashville, Tennessee who were arranging a cremation for the first or second time. As the women described their cremation experiences, they realized that they often had very different experiences and learned from each other. They expressed a desire for more information or education about cremation, since this was often a new tradition in their families. There were many insights gleaned during the focus groups, but we are highlighting just a few in this post that stand out.
1: Consumers Want More Education
The focus group participants raised several questions, many of them related to handling of “ashes.” Participants suspected some rules existed, but weren’t sure what the rules were or where to find them. In general, the women tended to do what they wanted, but they carefully watched over their shoulder just in case it was improper – or even illegal. That is definitely not the best cremation experience.
Often, these women learned from friends or their own experiences rather than having a go-to resource. Google was mentioned more than once as a starting place to research information on cremation options. Many women noted that they were pretty familiar with “traditional funerals” but that they weren’t as knowledgeable about what cremation entailed. It’s a newer tradition, and they felt that not as much information is available to help them understand the process.
Where did these families get ideas for the service? The internet. Where did they find a cremation provider? Mr. Google. They didn’t have to wait to sit down with a funeral director to get a price list of goods and services. They researched online and put together a preliminary budget well before meeting at the funeral home.
If they didn’t like the urns or jewelry on display in the arrangement room, they turned to – you guessed it – the internet: Amazon, Etsy, Walmart, and other retailers they know and trust that feature product reviews and recommendations on these keepsakes they probably haven’t bought before. Not one woman described returning to the funeral home to purchase cremation jewelry or an urn after the service. This was qualitative research, and not quantitative, so it is possible that many families do return to the funeral home for merchandise, but this research did not suggest that is common.
So what’s a local cremation provider to do? You may want to consider additional ways to reach out to consumers and help them understand all of the options available for service and memorialization. Be the expert in cremation. Become the trusted information source in your community. Don’t be afraid to talk about cremation and the options it provides. Consumers will choose cremation whether you talk about it or not. It’s better to be the expert than leave the consumer to figure it out without you.
2: Language Matters
Funeral professionals speak a different language than cremation consumers. Over the years, funeral professionals and society decided that euphemisms were gentler and kinder.
But sometimes euphemisms are confusing and the situation demands specific language to describe a process or professional practice. Death care, much like other professions, has developed its own jargon to describe its work, particularly with cremation to establish its differences to burial and related practices and products. However that jargon may be confusing rather than increasing understanding when talking with consumers.
How can we connect with consumers if we are speaking different languages? The table below highlights some of the language disconnects uncovered during the research.
This language disconnect was painfully obvious from the first minutes of the first focus group. The most common example is one of the most common terms in cremation: “ashes.” Today, mortuary science and funeral service students are taught the terms “cremated remains” and “cremains”, which are also widely used by funeral professionals. And yet not one single focus group participant used any term other than “ashes.”
In the arrangement room, funeral professionals rarely correct a consumer they are serving, but rather translate “ashes” to “cremated remains” in their head, or simply mirror the language used by grieving family members to provide comfort and promote understanding. But what about a website or other marketing materials? Should written consumer-facing language use common terms like “pick up the body” instead of “first call” to build common ground and understanding? More and more death care providers are doing so for reasons ranging from SEO to increasing sales.
3: Preplan Please
The focus group participants quite unexpectedly raised a particular topic on their own: preplanning. Preplanning, advance planning, prearranging – whatever you like to call it – was never part of the research’s list of topics to explore. Nevertheless, it was something the women brought up during the “Queen for a Day” exercise that occurred near the end of each focus group.
The participants were crowned “Queen for a Day” and asked to issue a decree. They could make any change they wanted and the whole world would have to follow their order. This was intended to encourage them to describe their ideal cremation experience. Not surprisingly, the most common decree was to bring back their loved one. The second most common request, however, was a complete surprise: they decreed that everyone preplan, prepay and discuss their wishes with their family member in advance.
Why was preplanning so important to these women? Like many family members, they wished they would have known more of the details their loved one wanted for their celebration of life. While they may have known their loved one wanted to be cremated, they may not have known much more than that. What about a venue? What about musical selections or special readings? What about thoughts on what to do with the “ashes” after the ceremony?
Perhaps if the women had known more about the “new” tradition of cremation they would have tried to ask their loved one more questions. Better yet if their loved one had preplanned, those questions would have naturally been raised and answered. What a relief the focus group participants would have felt knowing that they were fulfilling all of their loved one’s final wishes, not just the desire to be cremated.
Prior consumer research tells us that some people feel it’s not necessary to preplan when a cremation is involved. Actually, the opposite may be true. If cremation is a new tradition within a family, how will the survivors know what to do? Imagine this scenario: a husband wants to be cremated but he and his spouse never get around to talking about it. Then the husband dies and the spouse simply turns to what is most familiar and selects a casketed burial instead of cremation. Preplanning isn’t tied to the type of service, disposition and permanent placement chosen. The whole point of planning ahead is to formally document the deceased’s wishes, that way the family can truly honor them and is spared the pain of merely guessing what those wishes were.
The existing language disconnects discussed earlier are also a good example of why preplanning is beneficial. Any clarifications of what different terms mean can be addressed in advance. The result is a much more satisfying experience for both the funeral professional and family at the time of need instead of trying to find common language during a time of extreme stress.
Aside from wanting their loved one back, these women expressed a desire for people to talk about their final wishes in advance to make the at-need arrangement process easier. Please encourage all families, regardless of what type of celebration of life they want, to preplan (and prefund if possible) before it’s too late.
Looking to the Future
Is this research still relevant during a pandemic? It stands to reason that the insights gleaned are still helpful. During this pandemic, millions of families have experienced the death of a loved one. In 2019, the US experienced 2.8 million deaths, but preliminary counts indicate the national number exceeded 3.1 million in 2020. Conventional wisdom states that most families experience a death every 7-10 years, so many adults may only plan three or four funerals in their lifetime. But during the pandemic, nearly everyone in this country knows someone who has died – whether friend, family member or celebrity.
Preliminary numbers indicate that cremation rates in the US jumped nearly 3% in 2020. The focus group participants may offer insight as to why. The women described cremation as simpler, as you make the choice to cremate in the moment and that is all that is required – no casket, clothes, or cemetery needed right away. Cremation is legally considered to be final disposition, so they can take the cremated remains home with them and make other decisions at their pace. This possession is also appealing, particularly for a spouse or child who can keep their loved one close. The decision for permanent placement in a cemetery or scattering can come later, even generations later, which may be particularly helpful under pandemic restrictions.
CANA and Homesteaders Life Company set out to understand WHY women are choosing cremation and to better understand what cremation is or is not in the consumers’ mind. What we heard is that their loved one requested cremation and they had to figure out and plan what that experience was for their family and friends. Despite a desire for more education and confusion about language, these women had no regrets. In fact, they were highly satisfied and wouldn’t change a thing about their experience.
This post is excerpted from a five-part series in The Cremationist, CANA’s quarterly magazine available exclusively for members. The full series explores seven key insights in-depth and features perspectives from CANA Members on how they see these experiences in their business. CANA Members: log in and access the full magazine archives with your member credentials. Not a member yet? Join to access this research and much more.
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