As long as songwriters have married words with music, songs have evoked emotions, triggered thoughts, and in some cases, like Buffalo Springfield’s Vietnam protest song "For What it’s Worth," raised awareness and a call to action. The melody stays in the listener’s head, but it’s the lyrics that are the backbone of the song – many times it’s the words that make you stop and think about the meaning behind those words. It's the words that have a lasting effect. Often, we quote song lyrics to express how we feel because we can’t find the right words—think of John Cusack in Say Anything holding that huge boombox in front of Ione Skye’s bedroom window blasting Peter Gabriel’s "In Your Eyes." So, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that songwriters have used the word cremation and similar words to express their thoughts and feelings—from rebirth to a bad relationship to climate change to just cremation and life and death. Also, in many ceremonies, songs are used to set the tone of the service or the remembrance of the deceased, especially if it’s a favorite song or associated with the person. Following are examples of some songs that have utilized cremation or similar words in the modern history of music. MUSIC’S INTERPRETATION OF CREMATION"ashes to ashes" by david bowieAlthough the word cremation is not stated in the song, David Bowie’s "Ashes to Ashes" is probably the most famous rock lyric that suggests cremation—indirectly via the term ashes to ashes. Critics believe Major Tom, Bowie’s character in both the song "Space Oddity" (1969) and its sequel "Ashes to Ashes" (1980), reflects Bowie’s struggles with drug addiction, as Major Tom became a drug addict when we see him again in the latter song. As stated on genius.com, “This song ("Ashes to Ashes") is about David Bowie’s own experiences with drug addiction. In 1977, David Bowie’s friend and producer Brian Eno [took] David Bowie to Berlin to kick his drug addiction. This journey resulted in three seminal David Bowie albums: Low, Heroes, and Lodger, also known as the Berlin Trilogy." Just as cremation, and similar words, may have a negative connotation, it can also have a positive meaning. This is the case with "Ashes to Ashes"—even though Major Tom may be fighting drug addiction, he is trying to become clean and sober. His transformation is a work in progress, which can be seen as Bowie’s story and an encouragement to listeners to continue their quest to sobriety. This is illustrated in the lyrics: Time and again I tell myself I'll stay clean tonight But the little green wheels are following me Oh no, not again I'm stuck with a valuable friend "I'm happy, hope you're happy too" One flash of light but no smoking pistol The listener may interpret the song to be about rebirth and a reminder to move forward in life and enjoy the simple things life has to offer. As stated in the lyrics above, each day is a struggle for Major Tom to stay clean, but he persists toward a better life. Bowie’s choice for a direct cremation after his death on January 10, 2016, exemplified simplicity and the future. It was reported that Bowie informed his loved ones he did not want a funeral service and was secretly cremated without family or friends present. His cremated remains were scattered on the Indonesian island of Bali. Death care leaders credit Bowie’s decision to the increase of direct cremations in the United Kingdom. When Miriam Deacon, Secretary of the Cremation Society of Great Britain, spoke at CANA’s 99th Annual Convention in 2017, she explained how “[Bowie’s choice] blew everything out of the water of the tradition of what we do [burials]. …suddenly a simple, low cost unattended cremation…is becoming more and more popular…. consumers are now demanding more choice when arranging a funeral and are looking at this now more so than the traditional funeral.” From using the term ashes as a sign of rebirth and recovery, the meaning of the word cremation in Lou Reed’s Cremation Ashes-to-Ashes stays true to its definition. "CREMATION (ASHES-TO-ASHES)" BY LOU REEDLou Reed’s 1992 album Magic and Loss “…captures the pain and emotions that Reed felt as his friends were dying”. As stated in the November 17, 2017, edition of The Music Aficionado, “This is the story of the album, the musicians who influenced and created it and most importantly, the amazing songs Reed wrote as a healing process from the death of his friends.” Listeners can relate to the universal theme of loss on Magic and Loss because everyone has lost someone special. "Cremation (Ashes-to-Ashes)" reflects the end that will come to all of us—death—but will it be a peaceful death? We determine that. Reed offers two thoughts on death. The first reference to ashes offers a more peaceful end, death with the lyrics: There are ashes split through collective guilt People rest at sea forever Since they burnt you up Collect you in a cup For you the coal black sea has no terror The lyrics listed above can be interpreted not to fear death because for those who have died, their souls are at rest, and they can now be at peace forever. However, the next verse continues: Will your ashes float like some foreign boat Or will they sink absorbed forever? Will the Atlantic coast Have its final boast? Nothing else contained you ever This stanza could foreshadow a violent or painful death such as an accident or a lengthy battle with a disease with the lines “Will the Atlantic coast, Have its final boast?” Absorption, which is referenced in the first half of the stanza, can be interpreted as a more peaceful death. However, the final boast could be interpreted as the ocean’s final throes or the person’s last bouts before death. These lyrics can be interpreted that we determine whether we have a peaceful death—we control our destiny in life and death. Using cremation as the song title, and ashes in the lyrics, Reed states that death isn’t something to be feared, it is a part of life—the final act of our lives. This can be reasoned in Reed’s final verse: Now the coal black sea waits for me, me, me The coal black sea waits forever When I leave this joint At some further point The same coal black sea will it be waiting That same black sea was waiting for Reed when he died October 27, 2013, and was cremated; or in general, for us when our time comes, but we determine how the final act ends. "THE CREMATION OF SAM MCGEE" BY JOHNNY CASHJohnny Cash uses his “every man” persona in "The Cremation of Sam McGee" as he recounts the story of two gold miners in the Yukon and one’s “last request.” Originally a poem written by Robert W. Service, Johnny Cash embodies the narrator of "The Cremation of Sam McGee," who promises to cremate Sam when, not if, he passes on, as stated in the sixth and seventh stanzas: With a corpse half hid that I couldn't get rid, I hurried, horror-driven There wasn't a breath in that land of death, because of a promise given; It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say: "You may tax your brawn and brains But you promised true, and it's up to you to cremate my last remains." Now a promise made is a debt unpaid, and the trail has its own stern code In the days to come, though my lips were numb, in my heart how I cursed that load In the long, long night, by the lone firelight, while the huskies, round in a ring Howled out their woes to the homeless snows— O God! how I loathed that thing Through the lyrics listed above, the narrator conveys the belief that it is his duty to fulfill Sam McGee’s wishes—to care for his body and cremate him. Isn’t this what families and friends still do today? They believe it is their duty to care for their loved ones who have died and perform their wishes. The song/poem continues with the narrator’s pursuit to find the perfect “cre-ma-tor-eum” to fulfill his friend’s request—and to dispose of his friend’s body that he had been towing with him since his friend’s death. The tale of the narrator’s quest seems morbid and hopeless at times, but the ending of the song has a comedic twist—just like life many times. After the narrator has fulfilled Sam’s wish and checks on the cremation, the last stanza reads: And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm, in the heart of the furnace roar; And he wore a smile you could see a mile, and he said: "Please close that door It's fine in here, but I greatly fear you'll let in the cold and storm-- And since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee, this is the first time I've been warm." Through this dark humor, cremation is seen as a positive with this rebirth of Sam McGee—death has taken on a positive outlook to escape the harsh elements of his life. "ASHES" BY CELINE DIONCeline Dion’s "Ashes," which was featured in Deadpool 2, utilizes ashes to represent a broken relationship. The song opens with the following three stanzas, including the chorus: What's left to say? These prayers ain't working anymore Every word shot down in flames What's left to do with these broken pieces on the floor? I'm losing my voice calling on you 'Cause I've been shaking I've been bending backwards till I'm broke Watching all these dreams go up in smoke Let beauty come out of ashes Let beauty come out of ashes And when I pray to God all I ask is Can beauty come out of ashes? A broken relationship and its end are the subject of the lyrics—the narrator has tried everything to hold it together. After all her efforts, the narrator asks, “Can beauty come out of ashes?” Specifically, can anything positive come out of this breakup? Ashes are the result of a relationship gone bad. However, the ashes could also represent the memories of the relationship—so the beauty, or memories, have emerged from the ashes of the broken relationship. Again, turning the negativity of ashes into a positive—happy memories. Isn’t that a memorialization service? We recount happy memories (along with the sad or rough memories) or stories about the person we lost. All of our memories about a loved one who has died stay with us, but it’s the joyful memories that hold a special place in our mind and heart. "BLACK SUMMER" BY THE RED HOT CHILI PEPPERSThe Red Hot Chili Peppers’ "Black Summer," the first track on their 2022 album Unlimited Love, uses cremation as an environmental metaphor—a call for action, which is alluded to in the music video. The Red Hot Chili Peppers’ bassist, Flea, a native of Australia, cowrote this song about the Australian bushfires, which devasted his home country in 2019-2020. This reference appears in in the first stanza of the song: A lazy rain am I The skies refuse to cry Cremation takes its piece of your supply The night is dressed like noon A sailor spoke too soon And China's on the dark side of the moon The term “black summer” in the title and chorus represents the summer of the bushfires in Australia. The skies refuse to cry refers to the lack of rain, and cremation, which is the bushfires, has taken its place. It's been a long time since I made a new friend Waitin' on another black summer to end It's been a long time and you never know when Waitin' on another black summer to end Throughout the song and the music video, the Red Hot Chili Peppers have stated that "Black Summer" serves as a wake-up call to climate change. As you watch, the video begins with lively colors and scenes from different parts of Australia, from the desert to the city then through the highways, which represent pollution and congestion. But it ends with the stark contrast of the Australian outback with a bright orange sky from the bushfires. The use of cremation in this song may seem harsh because it represents the Australian bushfires, but the song is a call to action about climate change and the environment. As illustrated in the song’s chorus below—the narrator is waiting for another black summer (bushfires) to end. I been waitin' I been waitin' Waitin' on another black summer to end I been waitin' I been waitin' Waitin' on another black summer to end I been waitin' I been waitin' Waitin' on another black summer to end Cremation: More than a human feelingAs illustrated throughout this blog post, music has used the word cremation, or its synonyms, to express a plethora of thoughts and meaning—from rebirth, or reinventing yourself, to a broken relationship, to a protest and call to action. But one thing in common with these songs and reference is that cremation or ashes draw attention to the cause or meaning behind the word in the song—the listener stops to think for a moment— this is the exact action the songwriter or poet wants the listener to do. These songs spark a thought, emotion, or a call to action. Lara Jackson is CANA’s Membership and Communications Coordinator, where she assists in membership support and communications functions. She has held communications positions at several nonprofit organizations; including two medical associations, a trade association, and a religious nonprofit organization. While working at one of the medical associations, an article she wrote won a Silver Merit Health award. Lara also has worked as a freelance writer and editor, where she has reported on a variety of subjects and industries. She holds a Bachelor of Arts from Northeastern Illinois University.
Stress /stres/ a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances “I am stressed out”; “It’s so stressful”; “That stresses me out!”… We all use this word in our day-to-day lives. Stress is the common climate that we collectively find ourselves in, and the pandemic has made it worse. No, we are not all in the same pandemic boat, but I write this for our profession, for you — the funeral professional. Our stress often comes from the trauma and pace of the work. Let me ask you a few therapeutic questions in the language of making this specifically for you and about you. This is where we start, because, like the funeral vehicles we drive, if we don’t keep ourselves fuelled, we cannot function. We do have limits and cannot run on empty. We risk shutting down in an effort to conserve our limited emotional, physical and intrapsychic energy. When we shut down we are not present for ourselves, our own families and friends and the ones we love, and certainly not for the clients we serve. We short-change everyone, in addition to actually risking our own well-being and succumbing to a chronic condition of disengagement and loss of our hopes and ideals. Sadly, when we are shut down, we can do harm to ourselves and to others. Ask your loved ones how they see your stress showing up. You may be surprised by what they see and say. They may see some blind spots that you are not aware of. So, back to the therapeutic questions here for you:
Now that you’ve named and located your stress in your body, how do you manage it so it doesn’t manage you? The good news is that this puts you in charge. The bad news is that it puts you in charge and that we sometimes must do the opposite of how we feel in the moment. As we’ve identified, stress can be found in our bodies, so movement is the easiest way to help ourselves there. Getting our heart rate up for 30 minutes, even while walking, can help to metabolize the stress hormone called cortisol that rushes through our arteries and veins. Author Laura van Dernoot Lipsky discusses this in her books Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others and The Age of Overwhelm: Strategies for the Long Haul. Prolonged exposure to cortisol harms our bodies. Can you name nine things that you can do—things you enjoy doing, deep diving into—that help you to you feel balanced, rested and vital? I have been led through this exercise by my colleagues at Being Here, Human, Rachelle Bensoussan and Michelle Williams. It’s harder than you think, and more liberating and life giving than I could imagine! Take good good care… you are Essential! The Canadian Funeral Peer Support answered the call for peer support across the country, in 2018. Branches formed across Canada in many provinces, pre-pandemic, and in-person casual meetings were being held.
Now called Funeral Professional Peer Support, the branches reach out across North America. There are meetings online and you can access meetings from anywhere. You can read about them at www.funeralspeersupport.com. You can also follow them on Facebook and on Instagram This article first appeared in The Canadian Funeral Director Magazine, Spring/Summer 2021 Issue. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, reach out to these support programs: Funeral Professionals Peer Support Warmline international: 1-613-917-8057 (call or text) SAMHSA in the US: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) Wellness Together in Canada: 1-866-585-0445 If you would like to join your fellow funeral professionals for a peer support session, CANA and FPPS are hosting a meeting on Tuesday, April 18, 2023 at 8pm ET / 7pm CT / 5pm PT and every third Tuesday each month. These meetings are open to all funeral service professionals in any stage of their career and any role in funeral service. No need to register, simply visit goCANA.org/peersupport to join the Zoom gathering.
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