The holiday season is usually the most difficult time of the year for families who have lost loved ones. Empty seats at the table or around the tree are painful reminders of those who are no longer with us. For so many of these folks, death and the holidays just aren’t a great combination. For the makers of holiday movies, though, death is a favorite — if not necessary — ingredient in the recipe for a Hollywood-worthy happy ending. But as with most every element of these addictive stories, death itself, and the realities surrounding it, aren’t part of the fantasy. hallmark's holiday happinessThere’s plenty of Christmas content out there, especially with today’s multi-device streaming options. Even so, Hallmark — yes, the greeting card company — has become the go-to source for a particular type of holiday movie. Each year, the original Hallmark Channel and its suspense-filled spinoff, the Hallmark Movies & Mysteries channel, switch to an all-holiday lineup sometime in late October. Up to 50 million viewers devour at least one Hallmark holiday movie every year. So what makes these movies so darned popular? As someone who fits right into the networks’ target demographic (women aged 25 to 54) and has admittedly fallen under the Hallmark movie magic spell, I’ll attempt to explain. Simply put, Hallmark movies are an indulgent, uplifting escape from reality. Unlike real life, every single Hallmark movie, even a mystery version, has a happy ending. Viewers take comfort in the fact that before the credits roll, all loose ends will be tidily tied up, the always-attractive main characters’ life-altering decisions will be made and their problems solved, and every featured individual/couple/family will send us off as they hug, kiss, and/or sport happy, huge smiles. For two hours at a time, we can forget our imperfect, busy, or boring lives and imagine that it’s actually possible to travel back in time, to serendipitously reunite with your childhood sweetheart, for the prince of an enchanting (if mythical) kingdom to fall for an American commoner, for beloved Main Street businesses at the brink of bankruptcy to be saved in their final hours, or that a sophisticated and successful big-city girl can find happiness in her hokey-yet-charming hometown LIFE — AND LOVE — AFTER DEATHEvery holiday season, Hallmark movie writers crank out dozens of new titles (there are 40 first-run options in 2020 alone) that put a new spin on these timeworn tropes. No matter the storyline, though, the inevitably neat ending nearly always includes the coupling of two unusually good-looking adults. Most often, at least one of these individuals is a widow or widower (sometimes with one to three precocious, adorable children) still mourning the death of their impossibly perfect, seemingly-irreplaceable spouse. Take a look at these excerpts from some of 2019’s and 2020’s plot synopses: “Bakery owner Molly meets Josh, a widower who recently moved to town with his young son…”
“Newly widowed Kathy plans to skip out on decking the halls and trimming the tree this Christmas, trying to avoid anything that will bring back memories of her late husband…”
“The distraction comes in the form of a young boy, Danny, and his widowed father…”
“As she prepares for an interview for an overseas position, she decides to work as an au pair for widowed father Owen Reed and his three children…” In a post entitled “What’s With All the Dead Parents in Made-for-TV Christmas Movies?” writer Brian Moylan explains the necessity of holiday movie deaths in this way: “[These movies] need to be about people who suffered some tragic loss, and then find their way whole again through the magic of holiday romance. The ultimate Christmas gift, they’re telling us, is a happy nuclear family, even if it’s one that has known the taint of sorrow.” death as opportunityBeautiful widows and handsome widowers falling in love isn’t the only death-related plotline in these films. The death or impending demise of a parent sometimes serves as the impetus for new opportunities for the main characters. A daughter returns to her hometown to take over her deceased parents’ business or sell her family home, or a prince becomes king when his father dies … which puts them in a perfect position to fall in love with the real estate agent/contractor or search for a suitable queen. Here are a few other recent Hallmark movie plots that depend on death to make the movie’s magic possible: “When Melody’s neighbor, Nina, learns that her illness has returned, Melody promises to keep Nina’s kids, Holly and Ivy, together…”
“On the verge of accepting a job in L.A., [Sue] receives a visit from the ghost of her recently deceased mentor, Marilyn…”
“Lucy grants a little girl’s wish for a Christmas like she used to have with her [late] mom…” In real life — and especially as members of the deathcare community — we know death doesn’t usually open doors to fabulous new lives. Widowers often remain widowed for the rest of their lives, people inherit problems instead of property, and grief manifests itself whenever, wherever, and within whomever it wants in very different ways, for as long as it likes. where's the retort?Although the Hallmark Christmas movie machine embraces and leverages the concept of death in its plotlines, it’s quite rare to see the mechanics of deathcare portrayed on the screen. Viewers usually learn of the deceased spouse or parent early in the story — a widow lovingly holds a framed photo of her late husband and tells him how much she misses him or how she doesn’t know how she’ll go on without him, or someone shares their condolences about the passing of the main characters’ parent as she packs her suitcase for her trip home. Every so often your clue is an urn on a mantle or someone kneeling by a headstone engraved with “Loving wife and mother” and two dates illustrating a sadly short life span. Off-season made-for-TV movies may show a smattering of black-clad mourners at the tail-end of a graveside service or a dramatic outburst during a wake in the deceased’s lovely home. There’s no place for these realities in the Christmas movie fantasy, though. Maybe there’s too much snow dreamily falling for a graveside service, or a funeral couldn’t be scheduled around the town’s traditional Christmas play/community tree decoration ceremony, or perhaps a funeral home isn’t as storybook-worthy as the village toy shop, cafe, or bookstore. Most likely, it’s because ugly crying isn’t pretty, and real death and its accoutrements are sad. In Hallmark holiday movies, crying is only allowed when it’s done daintily and sadness is an emotion reserved for the five-or-so-minute climax of the plot, right after the couple that was destined to be together has an argument, but before they inevitably see the error of their ways and reunite. There’s also no place in Christmas movies for funeral directors, arrangement meetings, casket rooms (or caskets themselves, for that matter), embalming, or crematories. Viewers don’t want to hear eulogies or watch people file through a visitation line. They know someone has died, but they don’t want to deal with the death. If you have time this season, find a Hallmark Channel (or Lifetime, or even Netflix, for that matter) and escape into one (or six) of these Christmas movies — it’s a proven winning formula, so they’re easy to find, especially these days. Pay attention to the role death plays in the plots, and how it’s portrayed. Let us know if you find one that does justice to the deathcare profession. Or create your own Christmas movie storyline: A single and gorgeous fourth-generation funeral director is about to lose his family’s funeral home, but while meeting with a grieving family he catches the eye of the deceased’s newly-wealthy daughter … Wow — this stuff practically writes itself! This post originally inspired by CANA Executive Director Barbara Kemmis's member message from November 2020, but it inspired more than this post!
CANA Member Holly Baxter Bridgers of Baxter Cremation Service sent a delightful Hallmark Card sharing her love for Hallmark Christmases and our association (with the clever image below) — not to mention her own Hallmark movie pitch starring a beautiful funeral director: When the winter festival location is suddenly unavailable, why not have it at the local crematory with the single funeral director... Barbara Kemmis joined in the fun with her own pitch: Single career woman (SCW) returns to home town and reunites with her sassy best friend (SBF) from high school. SBF is a funeral director and privy to all the town goings on, including the fact that SCW's old flame is back in town. During the community memorial service at the funeral home, SCW is reminded how important community and connections are and sparks fly with old boyfriend.
Producers can contact CANA for more information on these fantastic ideas for next year's new Christmas Classics. Happy Holidays from all of us at CANA!
CANA’s website caters to both the profession looking for resources and the general public learning about cremation services. Satisfying both groups’ interests, the Transporting Cremated Remains page consistently ranks among most visited of CANA’s website. Staff frequently get calls for advice on carrying and shipping cremated remains domestically and internationally. Yet too often, we see articles about cremated remains mishandled or lost with families desperate to find their loved one. Unfortunately, transporting the dead can be complicated, with different rules for every mode of transport, for every origin and destination, all of which is further clouded by a general lack of awareness about the funeral profession and the work we can do. diplomacy for deathAt Fairfax Memorial Funeral Home and Crematory, CANA’s President-Elect Archer Harmon has the staff and experience to help get the dead where they need to go. Being so close to Washington D.C., Fairfax Memorial is frequently called on to help families all over the world. Archer has addressed members of the College of Consulates, a group of international consular staff, on procedures for transporting the dead. These attendees are seasoned professionals for whom the United States posting was not their first. They had extensive education and training for this posting, but to the one, they were surprised and unprepared to handle the variety of inquiries regarding repatriating casketed or cremated remains to their respective countries. In several cases, Archer has actually helped the consulate repatriate a citizen when the staff were uncertain on how to proceed. The laws and regulations exist, but death is fraught with cultural interpretations and misunderstandings. For most countries, cremated remains are subject to the same guidelines that apply to a casketed body. The paperwork is extensive and may include some, or all, of the following:
The above items may need to be translated to the destination country’s native language, notarized for official use, or more. specialized service Understandably, this is a complicated process, made more difficult if a business isn't near the nation's capital or doesn’t have a staff with experience in this work. CANA estimates that only a handful of funeral homes, cemeteries, or crematories in the US handle repatriation alone. Families without professional expertise are at a greater disadvantage without the experience and network to get their loved one safely on their way. This difficulty is why CANA gets so many phone calls, and our first step is to refer to reference books like the Redbook. We also reiterate the same guidelines we provide on our webpage: ship to a funeral home, not a private residence; contact the consulate/embassy first; get duplicates of all paperwork; carry rather than ship when possible; etcetera, etcetera. Even then, one CANA faculty member used to warn, too often you can expect your international postal shipment of cremated remains to be returned to the sender. We recommend reaching out to the professionals who have dedicated staff monitoring the many variables of transportation and shipping, who are experienced in this work, and come with an international network to help. Shipping via an agent or air cargo may be more expensive, but well worth the peace of mind. CANA Members that specialize in transporting remains offered these valuable insights:
pandemic shippingOf course, this complicated process is further challenged by a pandemic: travel restrictions between countries, canceled flights, closed offices, and more. Here's what CANA Members say: Inman Shipping: Travel restrictions and embargos during the pandemic are significantly impacting shipping and transporting remains. Inman works closely with our sister company, Eagle’s Wings Air receiving hourly updates as airlines continue to delay and cancel flights. Inman constantly monitors all of these factors and provide up-to-date information to the receiving funeral home. Due to the pandemic, many airlines have significantly reduced their flight schedules. We advise to not set services until the remains have arrived at your funeral home. We are also asking for your patience while waiting to receive permits and death certificates. Many of our funeral homes are located in cities with lockdowns and have local health departments which may be currently closed. Additionally, due to airlines needing to furlough both reservation and cargo staff, certain airlines are unable to book flights during the weekend. Unfortunately, certain airlines will not allow COVID-positive remains to ship internationally. We continue to work closely with the airlines to monitor what is available to our customers. MacKinnon & Bowes: The pandemic has provided some new realities that must be taken into account for shipping bodies or cremated remains.
National Mortuary Shipping (NMS): For the most part it is getting much easier to ship and transport human remains then it was at the beginning of the pandemic. Airlines are starting to have more flights and loosen up their restrictions some. However, there may still be time delays because even though the airlines are regaining traffic there may be less available flights and some cargo stations are still closed. Some International destinations are not always available and often very delayed. seasonal rushAnd even when everything settles into a new normal, don't forget that the seasons will still change, and the weather with it. In the same way you plan your travel and gift shipments, advise families that they will need to plan well ahead, and delay making plans until remains safely arrive. CANA Members suggest: Inman Shipping: Winter weather issues, post office delays, and seasonal holidays can cause delays in shipping and mailing of cremated remains. With the dramatic decline in available flights and only cargo space for two human remains onboard a flight, it is necessary to set proper expectations for family members awaiting the return of their loved one. While families may wish to proceed with quickly setting services, it is very important that services are not arranged until body has been received into the care of the local funeral home. Most cremated remains are returned home via the US Post Office, which has also caused unexpected delays due to slower Post Office service. MacKinnon & Bowes: Winter months in northern US and Canada represent challenges for delayed and cancelled flights due to weather. Even flights from the south could be impacted by interruptions caused by delays in the overall system and aircraft that does not arrive at the point of departure in time for scheduled departures and connections. Holidays represent times when most Airlines provide diminished service capabilities. Advance planning and anticipated potential for disruption should always be taken into account when forecasting arrivals, services, and dispositions. National Mortuary Shipping (NMS): It is important that everyone understands that time can be a sensitive issue when shipping. There are times that doctors and health departments as well as distance may create delays in shipping. Another factor is the hours and location of airline cargo facilities as well as delays caused by weather and other circumstances. These may be unavoidable and create unanticipated delays in shipping. We know it is difficult when a family requests services be set for a specific day; however, we always recommend because of these potential delays to try to avoid deciding for services until the deceased has arrived at his or her location. Like seasons, political situations also change with countries falling in and out of favor with one another. This can impact the ability to cross borders, even for the dead. As an example, when shipping to Cuba from the US was limited, Canada often provided a necessary layover where Canadian companies could take possession and arrange the final leg of the journey. something to write home aboutAs CANA's founder, Dr. Hugo Erichsen, said, "Cremation is preparation for memorialization." This idea is also immortalized in CANA's Code of Cremation Practice. When discussing plans for permanent, dignified placement of cremated remains abroad, it is important to plan ahead and allow time for arrangements to be finalized. That way, everyone gets the homegoing they deserve, surrounded by the people that loved them. CONTACT THE EXPERTS For more from CANA’s member experts in shipping and transportation: Inman Shipping Worldwide is the oldest and largest repatriation company in the country. We are the experts in returning a loved one home for ceremony. We address the needs of an increasingly mobile society. As careers and retirement take us to all corners of the country and even the world, Inman addresses the need to return the remains of a deceased loved one home for ceremony. Inman coordinates the transport of the deceased from any part of the world to their final resting place. We oversee the entire process, regardless of the distance involved, so that the sensitivities of the survivors are fully protected. At Inman Shipping we provide round the clock support to our customers. Our team of professionals are available any time of the day or night to begin a new domestic or international shipment, or answer a question related to a shipment. Our website, www.shipinman.com, is also available to request a quote for transportation or start a new shipment. We can assist your funeral home with an out of town direct cremation as well as full body repatriation. MacKinnon & Bowes Limited is an assistance firm that provides support services to funeral providers, crematoriums and cemeteries for a wide array of services including flight bookings, shipments, cremations and repatriations from countries all over the world. MacKinnon & Bowes is a family owned funeral service company staffed by licensed funeral directors and has been a proud CANA member for over 25 years. For more information on MacKinnon & Bowes please check our website or give us a call. MacKinnon & Bowes continues to provide those services and consultations that they are known for both pre and during pandemic. Flight bookings, international and domestic shipment coordination, cremation services and shipment of cremated remains are those things that funeral providers have come to rely on MacKinnon & Bowes for over the years. Over the road transportation for longer distance requirements have become more frequently relied upon by those that rely on and engage MacKinnon & Bowes. A comprehensive support system for shipments, cremations and repatriations from far away is at the fingertips of those that call for assistance. National Mortuary Shipping and Cremation (NMS) assists hometown directors with out-of-town deaths. NMS has been the funeral industries trusted source as a full service provider for close to 40 years. We are proud to offer: Domestic and International shipping, cremations, removal services, embalming, livery, airline transfers, flight booking, graveside services and disinterment’s as well as assistance with shipping requirements, death certificates, and airline requirements. Our knowledgeable staff is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to provide you service you can count on. We are always available to help funeral homes with their out-of-town needs or questions. Even if a funeral home does not have an out-of-town death, we welcome them to call our office and ask any questions that may help them better prepare should a need arise. We also offer many resources on our website as well as a phone app that allows funeral homes to contact us electronically. Many thanks to all of the CANA Members who contributed their experience to this piece: Katy Peckham, Director of Business Operations of Inman Shipping Worldwide; Allan Cole, Owner and President of MacKinnon & Bowes Limited; and Angela Berwald, CEO and President of National Mortuary Shipping and Cremation.
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