Early on in my career a mentor of mine said these words to me when I was dealing with some challenges associated with a family we were serving: “It takes all kinds to make the world go round.” I was still fairly new to the funeral service scene and hadn’t experienced the joys of dealing with families that didn't agree or get along very well. This phrase stuck with me all these years and seems perfectly fitted to where our great big crazy funeral service world is these days—or maybe just the world in general. Yet, in many ways I also feel like we have somehow missed the mark in funeral service insofar as actually “seeing” how diverse our profession really is, both internally and related to the families we serve.

You’d be hard pressed to find a funeral director who will tell you that they’ve seen it all. Most agree that no matter how long your career in funeral service may be, you will simply not see everything. I have to say that over these last couple of years, we as funeral service professionals have seen and experienced things that we never thought we would. If recent times have taught us anything, it’s that changing our ways may not have the downside we anticipated.

One of the changes that has been most profound for me has been witnessing firsthand how much more diverse our profession and our clientele are—more so than I had ever realized before. As we enter Pride Month 2022, I’m humbled to say that I have made a small contribution to the long-overdue conversation about bringing more visibility to the LGBTQ+ Community. We need to do this within the funeral service profession while also helping our colleagues learn how to serve our community better. My experience has confirmed that we, as funeral and cremation service providers, must become better attuned to the diversity both in each other and in our clients—which is often staring us right in the face.

Diversity, Equity and Inclusion have generated quite the buzz across many industries of late. And while this recognition is long overdue, it’s clearly here to stay. How will this change the way we provide funeral and cremation services to our families and embrace all employees?

Here are a few thoughts:

If I had a nickel for every time my mother said these very words to me as I grew into a—well let’s say “challenging” adolescent—I would be a wealthy man! But, when you stop and think about it, how we speak to our families and to our fellow employees can be way more impactful than we imagine.

Many years ago, I encountered a situation where a family did not want to mention the partner of one of the deceased’s children in the obituary. That son, by the way, was sitting at the same table as his siblings to make funeral arrangements for their mom. The family felt that it would be awkward to mention his partner since the couple wasn’t married—despite the fact that gay marriage wasn’t even an option at the time. Although it took some effort to contain myself, I assured his siblings that we could and should list anyone who is important to the deceased or her family.

This intervention brought some resolution to the situation while also validating the relationship between the son and his partner. I’ll never forget it.

We should choose our words carefully and, even more importantly, be cognizant of the way we deliver those words. What we say and how we say it to a family could change the trajectory of their entire experience with us, for better or for worse. I hope that son, and his whole family, took my words to heart that day and valued every member of their family.

Today’s families want and need to know what their options are. They want time to make decisions, and they certainly don’t want to feel that they are being spoken down to. We never want them to question if there were other options available after the fact and so must offer them everything from the beginning. So, take a little extra time to think about what you say before you say it, and carve out a little time after serving a family to reflect on what went well, or not so well, and find ways to improve for next time.

When it comes to the workplace, the same concept easily applies. We must have the same sensitivity to the words we say and how we say them when interacting with fellow employees. Fostering an inclusive work environment where diversity is celebrated and not ignored means educating ourselves on inclusive language to accommodate the backgrounds and cultures of our teammates. It does no good for morale for even one single employee to feel discriminated against or  marginalized as less than their colleagues because of their differences. In a profession where compassion and empathy are key to success, it shouldn’t be too challenging to nurture a work environment where all feel included and embraced.

Of all the musicals I had an opportunity to perform in during my high school days, Fiddler on the Roof was by far my favorite. (A video is available to those interested, but I digress.) The crux of the show is the concept of tradition and the struggles that often go along with watching the traditions we have known our whole lives begin to change. In our profession, we often use the term “Traditional Funeral;” however I’ve tried to get away from that because, with over 15 years in this business, it’s been my first-hand experience that just one tradition simply doesn’t exist (and perhaps never really did).

There are numerous customs and traditions associated with everything from the mode of final disposition to how the deceased is memorialized. Throwing the word “tradition” around too much may alienate families that feel self-conscious for not conforming to what funeral professionals  view as traditional. Especially as cremation continues to become more prevalent than ever before, let’s reassure our families that “tradition” is whatever they want to make it and make sure we honor those traditions, whether they match our ideas or not.

I’ll never forget when I offered to have a couple of classic cars parked outside the funeral home during visitation for a family I was working with. This was not a groundbreaking idea by any means, but for them it instantly made them feel seen. They felt that their husband and father, who LOVED working on classic cars, was more than just another person we were caring for and that his life mattered. Perhaps having some hot rods at the funeral home wasn’t what they envisioned as “traditional,” but it certainly was the best fit for them.

If the pandemic has taught us anything it’s that a good shake up in the funeral service industry may have been long overdue. We turned on a dime to respond to the need for offering our families more technology than ever—and were able to provide never-seen-before products and services. We have begun to better recognize that the demographics of funeral service professionals are changing rapidly and that more and more so-called “first generation” funeral professionals are taking on ownership roles within the profession. We simply have to realize that times, they are a-changin’ and we better get on board before it’s too late.

We may not know exactly where we’ll land, but we need to be creative and open to offering today’s families what they’re looking for. We don’t need to make everything up as we go along, but sometimes the best ideas on how to give pause to a loss and pay proper tribute to a life lived come from the places we least expect. My hope is that we end up in a funeral service world where we don’t grasp too firmly to the concept of “This is how we’ve always done it” but rather “Let’s try it.”

Diversity in our workplaces and in the wants and needs of the families we serve each day is quickly earning a front row seat in our profession. A thoughtful and sensitive response is essential to our success. So, do a little homework on diversity, equity, and inclusion and see how you can incorporate it into your world. And by the way, happy Pride.

I have carried a couple of buckets with me for the last twenty years. They are my props when I am talking about what helps people with their grief. I ask someone to hold one of the buckets and tell them to imagine they have just lost a loved one.

The bucket represents their feelings and I asked them to express what feelings they think would be in their bucket. I ask the audience to join in and words like pain, fear, grief, loneliness, empty, anger, guilt and sometimes relief emerge.

I then ask what thoughts would be going through their minds and such phrases as: Can I stand this pain? Who will take care of me now? How much will the funeral cost? What do I need to do now? What is expected of me?

Then I ask what frustrations would be in the bucket and get a large variety of responses. What I am trying to portray is that people in grief are overwhelmed emotionally, mentally, physically and even socially.

Then I produce the second bucket and say, “I also have a bucket. It is full of explanations, platitudes, new ways to think, and scriptures to quote. These are designed to make you feel better and they are all I know how to do.” Then I say the problem is your bucket is full to overflowing. There is no room for what I have to say, and my words run off like water no matter how wonderful they sound. I also say, “I am afraid of your bucket. I don’t know what to say and the intimacy scares me, so I say, ‘I am sorry’ and run.”

I was asked to speak about guilt and anger in grief at a conference for grieving parents. I asked them to tell me what they felt guilty about and many did so. One lady said, “All the way to the hospital my son begged me to turn back. He did not want the transplant, he was afraid. I did not turn back, and he died.”
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I asked her how many times she had heard such things as:

​And she stopped me by saying those did not help and “that last one makes me angry.” Then I asked if it would help if I offered to hug her and said, “That must really hurt?” and she said that would help.

Now why would that help? Because I am acknowledging her pain and not trivializing it. That feels like I am in her bucket with her, and she is not alone. I learned some valuable lessons that day that I would like to share, and think are vitally important to know right now.

We are totally surrounded and enmeshed in a world of full buckets. At this writing more than 50,000 people have died of the virus sweeping our nation [editor’s note: at time of reprint, more than 950,000 people have died in the US alone]. That number must be added to the number of folks that have died of other causes during this time. Add to the buckets of pain the fact that all of those who died in a hospital or healthcare facility died alone with no family or friends to comfort… adding guilt, regret, anger, and a much harder grieving experience to their pain. Many families will not even be able to have the comfort of a funeral or even the chance to see their loved one after they have died.

Add to that the buckets of grief from lost jobs, shattered careers, financial distress, marital strain, children out of school, fears about everything from food shortages to an actual depression and every neighborhood in our world has folks with full buckets.

The great need right now is for us to figure out how to help our friends, loved ones and neighbors empty their buckets. We don’t have to be some kind of professional to be of help. We just need to know how to listen. We need to understand and believe in the awesome power of the listening ear. Maybe sharing what I learned that day, and the fifty years I have spent trying to listen, will be of help.

It never begins in our bucket. We have nothing in our buckets that will empty theirs. There are no magic words or phrases that will heal. Buckets are only being emptied when the one holding it is doing the talking. As they talk, they are bleeding off the feelings and emotions that are flooding their minds and hearts.

This means we do not have to worry about what to say or fear saying the wrong thing. They need to tell their story and be understood. There is power in that word. The longer I study the impact it can make the more impressed I am. Basically we all just want to be understood. All of us have things going on inside of us we would give anything to be able to put into words and have them accepted and understood by some significant person.

Sounds strange and certainly different from how we normally approach helping someone in grief or pain. We want to play it down and take their minds off of the pain. They desperately need to say it, and have it understood.
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To me the key word in grief is significance. When bad things happen to us the first thing we need and want to do is establish the significance of the event. A child with even a slight bruise wants a band-aid and then shows off their boo-boo to everyone they can find. After everyone has seen it, the band-aid can come off. That is human nature. That is establishing significance. If they can establish the significance of what has happened, they can begin to move on. I think folks who seem to park and never get past a grief or trauma were never able to get their pain and loss heard and understood.

I know this sounds simplistic but there are more stories needing to be told right now than any time in recent history. We need listening ears and caring hearts to follow three simple words that begin with “H”:

HANG AROUND
Trust presence. If you are there you have been a help. If you can’t be there physically, then phone calls, Facetime, or other virtual presence is still presence.

HUG THEM
Trust touch. If appropriate, a hug is worth a thousand words. A hand held can do the same. At this time, we may have to rely on virtual hugs.

HUSH
Trust silence. We really don’t have to fix it or even have an answer. Just lay ears on them.

I have opened a new email address to offer help to any who needs help in listening or anyone who can’t find a place to tell their story. It will be there until I can no longer keep up. Please know that I don’t see well so write it large and as short as possible. Thank you. My email address is [email protected] and my ears are open.

This post reprinted with permission from a post of the same name in the Rumblings and Musings of InSight Books. Knowing what to say to a grieving family is difficult for everyone. Read on and learn more about their resources and trainings to better support your families and honor their loved ones.

Join us in congratulating Doug Manning’s daughter Glenda Stansbury and all of the InSight family as Glenda is recognized with the Lasting Impact Award for her contributions to the profession from the ICCFA Education Foundation. We are grateful for all that Glenda has done for CANA, our members, and the profession for her caring heart and listening ear, acknowledging where we are and supporting us as we move forward.
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In 2011, Doug Manning was honored with the Lifetime Achievement Award from Foundation Partners Group. Last year, Glenda Stansbury was named Deathcare Rockstar of the Year and the InSight Institute was given the Experience Creation Award from Cremation Rocks!
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When the US economic crisis of 2008, forced individuals and families to become more budget-conscious. As a result, people got resourceful and creativity flourished, especially when it came to memorializing loved ones. In some cases, this meant the funeral director was cut out of the equation entirely or left on the outside looking in.
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I don't think it has to be that way. You can reposition your role and partner with these DIY people, these family members that want to work behind the scenes and bring additional value to their life tribute event.

I want you to think about the family members that you've sat across from who are the DIY consumer. I want you to think about yourself and your friends and family who have the DIY bug and think about the feeling when you complete a DIY project. It is that sense of satisfaction. It is happiness that you feel. The new Man Cave is the She Shed! It's where the DIY consumer gets the solitude, the focus, and the space to complete these projects. These projects that are an instant mood enhancer for them. And that's how these family members feel. This isn't just something that they do on a whim.

And the most famous DIY-ers? Martha Stewart has been around for decades. Chip and Joanna Gaines started with one home decor store and now they have their own television network. Ben and Erin Napier and the Property Brothers are part of the HGTV Family. Brit Morin is known as the digital Martha Stewart, and Tommy Walsh is one of the most well-known international DIY personalities.

And now, because of YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok, we've seen the explosion of DIY bloggers all over the world. Some bloggers have their own sites or they use social media sites to reach out to potential DIY-ers. And it is their eagerness to provide video tutorials – step-by-step guides – to invite and encourage people to be a part of the DIY world. It is evident that the DIY world is expanding and here to stay.

Data shows that 50% of DIY consumers are female and 52% are between the ages of 24 and 44 – a mix of Gen X and Millennials. We know that DIY projects are directly tied to life changing events: a graduation, an engagement, getting married, having a baby, buying a home, and, we can add, the death of a family member. Every time there's a milestone or something big happening in their family, they have an event. They bring people together. They honor old family traditions. They start their new traditions, and it's not just about their immediate family, but they bring in their extended family and they also reach out to their large social circle of friends to be a part of those special moments.
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And, because of that, a life tribute event will most likely be the topic of conversation among many of the attendees. It will be the word-of-mouth marketing that funeral homes want! But—guess what? That funeral director will fade into the background and simply be seen as the person who provided the place and took care of the disposition.

Here are three ways to partner with those individuals to help you and your entire team avoid getting left out of the conversation when a DIY consumer appears in that arrangement conference.

SPEAK TO YOUR CREDIBILITY
The words “licensed funeral director” carried a lot of weight for many, many years. Then, we needed to say “licensed funeral director and cremation specialist.” Now we need to add a third line of credibility, and that is your “creative” credibility. That DIY consumer needs to hear, in the very beginning of that arrangement conference, that you are creative, that you're willing to explore ideas, and that you have resources to execute their vision.

BE THE IDEA GENERATOR
What I hear most from funeral directors is that they don't have the extra budget or the extra time to do the “wow” factor for a family. I understand that, so think of yourself as an idea generator instead. It builds your credibility. It says: We are creative. We want to help you. For example, "it was interesting to hear about your sister's involvement with Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library. I was thinking of a few different ways we could honor that part of her life."

KEEP RESOURCES HANDY
Have websites, magazines, and books available for your funeral directors to enable them as idea generators. Know the websites that consumers are going to directly. These are three from my extensive list of websites:
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beau-coup.com is a wedding and baby shower website (I forewarn you), but they have every possible keepsake, covering all different hobbies and interests, and can be personalized with shipping options to ensure items arrive in time for a tribute.

stylemepretty.com collects wedding ideas from all over the world to find out what brides are doing, what the trends are, and what resources that they're utilizing. If I was looking for tropical - Hindu - Jewish funeral ideas, I could go to Style Me Pretty to get some inspiration. And that's what you're going to find: a combination of cultures, hobbies and interests that bring it all together. And it's not just pictures: it is the resources and the vendors, too.

pinterest.com is ideal for free consumer research. Hop on and type in the search box “my funeral” or “mom's funeral” or “dad's funeral” and look at all the Pinterest boards that have those names. And these are just the public-facing samples! These are the ideas that people are collecting, that they're thinking about, so when the time comes, they go to their Pinterest board and see what they've collected over the past couple of years for a loved one or for themselves.

"When families participate, they remember. When they remember, they grieve. And when they grieve, they love." Remembering Well, by Sarah York
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That's the impact that you can have on these family members who want to have those DIY moments with other family members behind the scenes before that tribute takes place.

The results of a recent survey for funeral professionals put out by Connecting Directors indicate that many funeral homes view rising cremation rates as a major hurdle to overcome when offering families what they want, while still making enough profit for a healthy business. Additionally, we’ve learned from the 2021 CANA Annual Statistics Report to expect a national cremation average of 72.8% by 2030. The time to solidify a cremation-focused business model is now.
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According to many deathcare experts, one of the biggest misconceptions in funeral businesses today is that cremation families don’t want additional services, and they aren’t willing to spend money on them. We’ve talked to six industry thought-leaders who have been guests on the Deathcare Decoded podcast on how to re-frame selling services and experiences to cremation families in today’s deathcare space in order to better serve families and turn cremation into a lucrative option for your business.

In a recent conversation with the Deathcare Decoded podcast, Larry Stuart Jr., founder of Cremation Strategies and Consulting, spoke at length about the first mistake many funeral directors make when working with cremation families, which is making assumptions about what families want:

Larry suggests that funeral directors take the time to listen to each family, in order to meet them where they are in their unique arrangement needs, instead of where a funeral director might think they are, or should be, as cremation customers. Larry says:

Furthermore, Larry suggests that funeral homes re-evaluate how they structure costs, charging more for services and less for specific products:

This strategy avoids coming across as a pushy salesperson and embraces the idea that families are paying for personal service instead of price-gouged products

Justin Crowe, founder and CEO of Parting Stone, a death tech start-up and public benefit corporation based in Santa Fe, NM, believes that personal service is one of the only ways that funeral directors can truly compete in today’s professional market. During an interview on the Deathcare Decoded podcast, Justin explained that:

Sandra Walker, Vice President of Strategic Business at Fairmount Memorial Association and a recent guest on the Deathcare Decoded podcast, makes an argument for better education around cremation options both within the deathcare profession and in wider society. She elaborates that families and funeral directors alike assume that if a body is cremated no other services are required or wanted, but more often than not, when educated about available services and products, families opt in. Sandra advocates for focusing on the value of what is offered before and after cremation and educating families on every option available, so that burial families and cremation families are offered the same services and experiences:

Sandra also points out that, without offering meaningful services to families and listening to what they want, funeral directors just become body handlers. If families are not listened to, have limited options, or are told no, they will go somewhere else to have their full range of needs met. Disinvolved body handling isn’t why anyone enters the field of deathcare, we are here to help support grieving families and care for the deceased. Shifting traditional perspectives about what cremation families want, and putting the work in to educate your staff and your families about everything available before and after the cremation process will only help the families that you serve, and grow your business.

Eric Neuhaus, founder and CEO of Green Cremation Texas, sat down with Deathcare Decoded to talk about how he started a thriving green cremation business from the ground up by focusing primarily on what families wanted and needed instead of looking at competing funeral businesses. In an interview for the podcast, he explained that, while his business may be more tech-oriented and less traditional than other funeral businesses, Green Cremation Texas’ success is not about the technology or what others in this space are doing. The primary driver behind Green Cremation Texas is simply “championing the families”

Empowering families to make their own choices and providing excellent experiences and services along the way is the main approach that Eric’s extremely successful cremation business takes. Green Cremation Texas is an excellent example of selling experiences over products and turning that strategy into a lucrative funeral business.

Ryan Thogmartin, founder of DISRUPT Media, recently joined the Deathcare Decoded podcast to talk about the importance of authenticity in branding, marketing, and company culture in funeral businesses, and how visionary thinking can help move deathcare forward. In the conversation, Ryan touched on misguided ideas about what is “dignified” in funeral services, and how these subjective opinions are standing in the way of truly serving families:

Ryan also makes the excellent point that consumers are willing to spend more money on things that they want, services that fully meet their unique needs, and products that appeal to their individual culture, style, and tastes. Research conducted for a recent IBM Institute for Business Value article supports this point, revealing that a large percentage of today’s consumers “are willing to pay a premium for products and services that align with their values and lifestyle.” Consumers are also more likely to feel good about spending money when they are supported in their desires and do not feel pressured into making decisions that do not align with their family’s best interests. Keeping personal opinion and taste out of funeral planning and saying “yes” to a wider range of arrangement services, options, and requests will only bring in more opportunities for your business – regardless of whether a customer chooses cremation or casketed burial – while giving every family unique services that are special and meaningful.

It’s clear that when a family chooses cremation for the disposition of a loved one, it doesn’t mean that the family doesn’t want other services as well. Cremation families need to grieve and process death, and they want the same thoughtful support and attention to detail that any other family would. It’s just as emotionally difficult to have someone cremated as it is to have someone embalmed and buried.

Following the advice of these experts and shifting perspectives around cremation services can turn the “rising cremation problem” into a boon for your funeral business. Consistently offering the same options and services to all families, involving your staff directly in curating the products and services your funeral home offers, and making arrangements based on what individual families want and need, will lead to happier clients and higher profit margins. The key to making cremation a thriving part of your business is listening to families, letting go of assumptions and personal opinions, saying “yes” to as much as you can, and selling services and experiences over products.

Click below to sign up for the Cremation Rocks! Newsletter and get cremation inspiration from deathcare's thought-leaders each week!

PODCAST EXCERPTS FROM CANA MEMBERS:

Larry Stuart, Jr. is the Founder of Cremation Strategies and Consulting and the former President of Crematory Manufacturing & Service, Inc.

Justin Crowe is the founder and CEO of Parting Stone.

Sandra Walker is Vice President of Strategic Business for Fairmount Memorial Association in Spokane, WA.

Eric Neuhaus is the owner and operator of Green Cremation Texas in Austin, TX.
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Ryan Thogmartin of DISRUPT Media is CEO of ConnectingDirectors.com, Price My Funeral, and Death Care Jobs, as well as co-host of Funeral Nation.

Death Doulas may seem like a new or progressive idea, but they are as old as death itself. In many cultures throughout history, mental, spiritual, physical and emotional support have been a fundamental part of the transition to death. Today, such support is rare, especially in Western cultural settings which tend to avoid discussions about death. A survey by The Conversation Project concluded that 90% of people say that talking with loved ones about end of life is important, yet only 27% have actually done so.
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In April, Ashley Johnson led a Crucial Conversation about death doulas as part of The Art and Science of Cremation: Crucial Conversation Series in April 2021. Because the topic is so intriguing, we wanted to follow up and share her experience and insight in the blog.

My death care career was inspired by growing up in a low socio-economic neighborhood that lacked advocacy on how to deal with end-of-life practices. When death happened, families were not mentally, emotionally, and financially prepared. As a result, they were not healing from this trauma.

My interest in funeral service started as a child, I would read the Sunday obituaries instead of the comics. I was motivated to become an end-of-life doula when my childhood friend was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer at the age of 27. I was doing the task of an end-of-life doula for her without knowing it. Once she transitioned, I saw fit to provide others in need of education, service, and companionship and continue this journey. Everyone deserves “good death” and families need proper closure.

After more than a decade in the death care industry, I launched Loyal Hands, an End-of-Life consulting agency I founded to provide death doula services in Orlando, Florida. I joined CANA in 2018 and began working with the Membership Advisory Group to build my network of deathcare professionals.

End of Life Doulas, or EOLDs also called Death Doulas or Death Midwives, enrich the dying experience for patients, family members and friends, while strengthening the relationship between medical (the doctors, nurses, social workers) and non-medical support (the family or caretakers). We are trained professionals who provide assistance and guidance with holistic services to individuals and their families during transformative life changes.

Doula-client relationships engage the difficult and complex emotions while navigating the signs and symptoms of the dying process. An end of life care team is made up of multiple different professionals ranging from doctors, nurses, social workers, and End of Life Doulas to foster a culture of equity in order to facilitate a good death. We strive to be a support system for those who are terminally ill, elderly, or healthy and their families as they plan for their transition. A death doula's work ranges from logistical planning for the time before, during and after of death; conducting rituals or comforting practices; helping the dying person reflect on their life and values; and explaining the bodily functions of dying to caregivers.

Doulas are an active part of the Death Positive movement, a social and philosophical movement that encourages people to speak openly about death, dying, and everything in between. Death Positive seeks to eliminate the silence around death-related topics, decrease anxiety surrounding death, and dismantle the foundation of inequality, racism, and social marginalization at end of life.

NEDA is a great organization because it helps inspire positive, creative end of life practices for the dying, their loved ones, and the agencies involved which includes funeral homes, hospice and palliative care.

Consumers and deathcare-related businesses can find an end-of-life doula at the National End of Life Alliance website. Because the industry is currently unregulated, it is recommended that people interview an end of life doula before hiring them, just as they likely would a birth doula.

Death doulas are NOT competitors with funeral service but rather complement the death care industry by providing additional support and community resources for deceased and their families. There are laws governing what death doulas can and cannot do just as with traditional death care. Funeral directors interact with families post death while end of life doulas are present with families before, during, and after death occurs.

In my own work with funeral homes, I have provided respite care to the families immediately after the death and provide periodic follow ups and aftercare. It’s the customer service that keeps families coming back. As we all know, people will not remember what you said but they will remember how you made them feel.

The difference between hospice and death doulas is that death doulas do not provide medical care. Instead, death doulas work in conjunction with hospice programs to provide interpersonal, social, logistical, and spiritual guidance that complements the care they receive in hospice.

Hospice care is regulated by Medicare rules, limiting the time staff is allowed to spend with patients and families. The National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO) has just put together an End-of-Life Doula Council to share with hospices and families the ways in which Professional End of Life Doulas can assist their work. NHPCO is encouraging hospices to hire doulas to complete the hospice team by filling in “the gaps in care” and allowing for the best end of life experience.
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Death doulas also step into other areas where hospice and funeral homes may need help, such as:

Death Doulas are here to serve humanity. We serve anyone ranging from young, elderly, terminally ill, healthy, caretakers and even pets. End of life doulas complement the care from hospitals, hospices, and funeral homes by filling in the gaps that occur during the dying process.

Every doula is different. Some assist only the healthy, some assist only the dying. This is why it is best to interview doula to see what their specialty is. Doulas may also be celebrants, hospice staff, or even massage therapists. Keep in mind each doula has their own specialty. Some may prefer to work only with advance directives while others may prefer legacy projects, but all are dedicated to supporting their client and community in this transition.

End of Life Doulas are not simply a trend or a fad. Roughly 10,000 people turn 65 each day in the US, so more and more elders—as well as those with life-limiting illness—will need our services. Families are bringing new values, preferences, and opinions that are changing the world of funeral service. They are thinking differently about how they want to honor their loved ones and have new perceptions of the funeral service profession.

Death care is changing rapidly, with ongoing expansion of the industry. There is a demand for change in the way we care for the deceased, both physically and emotionally. Death doulas help bridge the gap between families and death care businesses. Having a death doula is helpful when a family has little experience with death or when they are afraid of confronting death. The death doula can act as a liaison between the family and the funeral home, helping to educate families about the options available to them and easing what can often be a difficult or painful arrangement process.

We offer a variety of services that include helping a person write their own obituary; assisting with legal paperwork, including advance directives, health care proxies, and wills; creating a peaceful, loving atmosphere at death; and, most importantly, providing grief care before, during, and after death of a loved one. Death doulas can help families reduce confusion and mistrust when interacting with death care professionals. Doulas also educate people to know that they have choices. Funeral professionals, including doulas, want loved ones to be able to honor those who have died as much as they were honored in life. We all encourage creating a ceremony and a final resting place that reflects who the deceased was and what they cared for. We ultimately want to bring families and communities into the death space and normalize it.

There are so many benefits that death doulas can provide death care business. We can help obtain earlier referrals and connect the dying to a funeral business. Doula services increase satisfaction which leads to more referrals and reduced intake stress. Connecting with local death doulas can be as simple as a google search because most end-of-life doulas offer a free consultation to help people find the right match. You can also browse through the National End Of Life Doulas Alliance (NEDA) directory to find an End of Life Doula in your area. 

That is my favorite joke describing 2020. It’s funny because it’s true. The pandemic spread of COVID-19 came out of nowhere and changed everything and everyone. Our best intentions, planning and hard work could not have prepared us for the challenges of a triple pandemic – disease, social turmoil, and political unrest.

When faced with uncertainty and continuous change, I have been amazed by how quickly and well CANA members have adapted, particularly in responding to trends that were impacting funeral service before the pandemic and will continue to be important in the year to come.
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Reflecting on 2020, it seems clear that death care workers returned to fundamentals to find solutions for dealing with such cataclysmic change. Now, as we start 2021, we can take a moment to set goals and priorities to meet the challenges to come. CANA cohosted a webinar in 2020 with DISRUPT Media during which we asked industry experts to comment on key trends. Some of those pearls of wisdom are included throughout this post.

As recently as February 2020 (at the CANA Cremation Symposium) we were discussing incremental change to serve families. We had no way of knowing that days later the world would turn upside down. Seemingly overnight, funeral directors pivoted to offer livestreamed services, online and phone arrangements, and new strategies to manage staff and operations remotely. Many of these early activities were conducted with no more sophisticated equipment than smart phones. We have come a long way since then, or have we?

This is the year to upgrade your technology game. Everything from arrangements to funerals to continuing education will continue to be offered online. Invest in stable, fast internet and computers with web cameras sooner rather than later. Software advances can help with everything from case management to first calls and staff coordination. Grow your online offerings to meet the consumer where they are.

Technology will remain the key to brand awareness and marketing success as well. But beware that you will sell what you market. If you are promoting low-cost, minimal service cremations online and via social media, that is what they’ll buy. Now is the time to use these platforms to educate your communities about the services you can (safely) offer with the help of technology and your facilities. Also, amplify local news on your social media channels. Facebook is the host for most local news and outlets and governments. Even in large cities, neighborhoods will have Facebook pages. We are spending more time online during the pandemic than ever before, and good news stands out. Let your feed be the bright spot as well as source for obituaries and practical tips.

You offer solutions to problems that death-averse consumers weren’t willing to discuss or plan for nine months ago. Preneed sales have increased during the pandemic, but have you effectively communicated your ability to help them discuss and make plans?

Your creativity and problem-solving are your best assets, and your communities need you now more than ever.

When my grandmother died in March and we had a livestreamed graveside and Zoom celebration of her life, we discussed gathering over the summer to have a family reunion in her honor. Needless to say that didn’t happen, and we aren’t going to gather this year or probably ever for that purpose. I gave the funeral home a 5-star review on Google, however they returned thousands of dollars of preneed funds earmarked for the funeral to the estate. How many families have you served in a similar situation? How many have come back to do that delayed service? Or did they simply make do?

Have we accelerated the trend toward cremation without services by funeral professionals? Only time will tell. Human beings are strange creatures – we crave what we can’t have – so it is quite possible that when funerals are permitted, there will be an increase. In the meantime, many CANA members have offered community-based memorial services. Some these are purely virtual, some are a hybrid of small in-person gathering with livecasting. I watched several in November and December and each acknowledged that we are grieving more than the loss of loved ones. That was a welcome and comforting message.

The stats on people accomplishing New Year’s resolutions is depressingly low, however goal setting is still valuable and really the best way to track success. We see gaps in service and opportunities for improvement during our busy times, precisely when there is no time to tackle a new project. So write your ideas down and keep track of them. A break will come and that is the perfect time to set your priorities for new projects or improved procedures.
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Did you always mean to start an aftercare program? Get on it! Still not sure how to understand all of the financial data and business metrics? Set up a meeting with your accountant or take a class. Still not sure what social media can do for your business? Ask for help and try a campaign. Make relevant continuing education a priority for all of your staff and yourself. Set goals and measure progress toward them. Then celebrate your successes. This is the best way to focus on the important and not just the urgent.

Now, we’re facing a new calendar year, but this real-time, continuous risk management experiment that we are living has not gone away. Hopefully, we will soon have new tools to combat the disease, like easier access to PPE and vaccines, and also to support ourselves and each other.

We have learned to safely serve our communities through deadly viruses before, and COVID-19, too, will likely remain with us. PPE works, and – with continued engagement and creativity – we will find the tools to serve our communities and navigate 2021.

My thoughts are with you during the next phase of this continuing crisis. On behalf of the staff and leadership of the Cremation Association of North America, happy new year.

WEBINAR EXCERPTS FROM NOTABLE INDUSTRY EXPERTS:

Rahsaan Brown is CEO and owner of Blue Nebula Consulting, a nationally scaled organization that focuses on assisting funeral homes build their sales and marketing departments.

Jeff Harbeson, a.k.a. the Funeral Commander, is the Director of Cash Flow Solutions at C&J Financial, where his specialty is producing accounts receivables and increasing cash flow. He is a former funeral home owner.

Ryan Thogmartin of DISRUPT Media is CEO of ConnectingDirectors.com, Price My Funeral, and Death Care Jobs, as well as the Funeral Nation co-host, along with Jeff Harbeson.

Glenda Stansbury is the vice president of InsightBooks, a publisher of books on grief and aftercare. She is also a licensed funeral director and embalmer. She is the co-founder and the trainer for certified celebrant training.
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Dean Lambert is the Marketing Communications Officer for Homesteaders Life Company and has been with them for a little over 22 years. He’s worked with funeral homes to help with marketing, communications, and promotions since 1991, so he’s approaching his 30th year with the profession.

In March 2018, Chick-fil-A opened its largest restaurant in its history on Fulton Street in Lower Manhattan. Chick-fil-A fans showed up in droves with a line stretching down a full city block.

This wasn’t an isolated incident. All over the country, at various times throughout the year, campers huddle in tents overnight to be one of the first customers at one of a multitude of Chick-fil-A’s Grand Openings, with the first 100 customers receiving free Chick-fil-A for a year. As the New York Post said, “Chick-fil-A is on fire. The fastest growing chicken-sandwich franchise is poised to become the third-largest fast-food chain in the country in 2019, replacing Subway, according to Kalinowski Equity Research.”

With all of the fast-food choices in the world, Chick-fil-A has created a brand that people not only recognize but connect with on an emotional level. So, what is it that differentiates Chick-fil-A from all other fast-food restaurants and what can this restaurant chain teach us about branding in the cremation industry?

When analyzing the funeral industry, and particularly the cremation space, what business similarities do most cremation providers have? They all offer caskets, urns, flowers, GPLs, and standardized practices. Unfortunately, there are far too few differentiating characteristics within cremation service providers. The challenge of all businesses, but especially in businesses that have common product and service offerings, is how to distinguish themselves from the competition.

When considering the success of Chick-fil-A, it is important to ask what it is that differentiates its brand amongst their competitors. Here’s a test: see how quickly you can answer these questions:

As a consumer, you should have quickly been able to identify the red logo with a chicken hidden in the letter “C.” In addition, the cow has been campaigning for you to “Eat Mor Chikin” since 1995. And last, “It’s my pleasure” is the simple line that uniquely positions Chick-fil-A in its delivery of exceptional service. All three of these differentiating factors help establish the company’s brand and identity. The company has clearly defined a distinct image, message, and brand.

With this example in mind, what are some ways a cremation service provider can distinguish itself in the cremation space and begin creating a unique brand image? Ultimately, it comes down to superior branding, in addition to the unwavering quality of service. Following are strategies you can incorporate to create a thriving brand with a distinct identity in a competitive market.

More than just the Chick-fil-A cow mascot, it is the people that truly make your experience at Chick-fil-A a memorable one. They play a vital role in differentiating Chick-fil-A by going the extra mile to clean up your table when you are done eating, taking your order before you even reach the drive-through menu, or simply handing you a card for a free sandwich when they make a mistake. Creating brand ambassadors by providing exceptional customer service is what differentiates Chick-fil-A from all other fast-food restaurants. Who differentiates you or your firm in the market place?

Speaking with hundreds of firms around the country, most of them feel they do a “good job” at getting out into the community and representing their firm. However, we live in an at-need world, and, when the phone rings or when we are on coroner rotation, we have to go and serve.

Many times, the constant pressures of the at-need business pull us away from opportunities to further the brand. This is known as working in the business and not on the business. To combat this, you must dedicate time to get out into the community and represent your brand.

In some firms, the owner takes on this responsibility. In others, it may be shared by a couple of individuals. Whomever you choose as your brand ambassador, it is important that someone is visiting the hospice centers and the nursing facilities, attending community functions, etc.—someone who will become the face and voice of the firm. This means not only being a recognizable face in these places, but being the face of a firm that cares, provides exceptional service, and sacrificially gives back to the community. Over time, your firm will become known as part of the fabric of the community. You will see your brand grow because people will know they can trust you and the brand you represent.

The following story within the cremation space demonstrates the absolute necessity of having a brand ambassador. A little over ten years ago, a recent college graduate had an idea for entering the cremation market in the Pacific Northwest. He found a location to start his business and began to hustle. He attended every chamber of commerce function he could. He met all the hospice organizations, and he got to know the officers and deputies of the local police department and sheriff ’s office.

Everywhere he went, he carried a few packages of peanut M&Ms in his pockets. As he would visit with people, he would give them a package of M&Ms. He became known as “The Candy Man.” Because he dedicated the time and hard work to develop the relationships, this young entrepreneur grew his brand from serving zero families to over 1,800 families per year, and the brand is still growing.

Be proud of who you are, and get out to tell your story. Be a dedicated brand ambassador who cares for people and offers them a unique experience that puts service and care for others above all else.

What kind of promise do you think Chick-fil-A offers? As a customer, it is fairly easy to define. They promise to deliver higher quality fast food with exceptional customer service. The consumer understands they are not getting the cheapest fast food, but they are receiving a great value for their money.

How do you define your firm? What drives your business and the services you provide? What makes you unique and separates you from other firms? If you have not asked these questions about your business, you will not be able to differentiate your brand from the many other cremation options in the market.

An effective brand promise goes beyond the rational benefits of a product or service and strives to capture the emotional rewards that your firm can uniquely deliver. It is not a slogan or a headline, but a way of describing the commitment you are making to your customer base as to the type of experience they are going to have with your brand. In addition, a brand promise gives you a tremendous opportunity to create differentiation and excitement around your services and offerings.

The challenge with creating a brand promise is keeping it. You can print all the grandiose words you want about your brand; however, those words are empty if not delivered upon. A firm that continues to disappoint on its brand promise will begin to develop a much different brand reputation—one that will be difficult to recover from. Kept promises will define your brand. Here are three “must-dos” for your brand promise:

Our world is busy. Coupled with this, the transient nature of families makes it more and more difficult to maintain significant, long-term brand communication with our customer base. Consumers today are arriving at firms with information they feel makes them well informed on funeral-related issues. Unless you are at the top of the search engine listing and have the highest reviews, the likelihood of you receiving the call from a son who lives five states away for his mother who just passed away in the care facility a few blocks away is nearly impossible.

Digital marketing is equally—if not more—important than all other marketing, advertising, and outreach activities. Digital marketing helps capture the calls that will never come through the telephone. The firms who understand and adapt quickly will flourish in the future economy. Death care is not immune to the shift in how consumers select and make purchases, so it is imperative to seek out industry experts to help drive your digital marketing strategy.

There is probably nothing simpler than a Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich, waffle fries, and fresh-squeezed lemonade, but the company has earned the loyalty and trust of millions of customers across the country. The way Chick-fil-A gained our business in the beginning required countless attempts through advertising, tireless delivery on a promise of quality, and consistency. The concepts of developing a brand are simple but not always easy to execute. By developing a brand ambassador, your firm will become the go-to firm for cremation needs.

Creating a brand promise that differentiates your firm will establish you as a business that truly cares for families. Aligning your brand pricing with your promise will create value in your offerings, and families will come back again and again. Finally, by implementing a digital marketing strategy, you will reach more families in your market that you knew existed.

These are simple strategies, but they are not easy. If you implement them, you will differentiate your firm and will help it thrive in the industry, and over time you will be a leading cremation service provider no longer hungry for growth but leading the way in serving families.

No matter a family’s religion or cultural background, there will be times when it is appropriate for a family to see the disposition to completion, wherever it may be. When I served my first Hindu family during my internship, I was struck by the reverence, the beauty and meaning imbued in the ritual of the sendoff at the crematory. Perhaps the West Coast is unique in that many of the families we served in that region were already familiar with witness cremation, even if they did not have a religious requirement to do so. It was not until I moved back to the Midwest that I learned that so many funeral directors and consumers found the concept of going to the crematory shocking.

Families’ imagination is often far worse than the reality of cremation. Many may envision a stark, cold, clinical environment that smells like a hospital. They may imagine a chamber full of flames, and that the entire process is short, lonely, and perfunctory. This is why families are less likely to ask, When will we be able to watch the cremation? as they would be to ask, When will we be able to watch the lowering of the casket into the grave? Typically, this is an offer that the funeral director poses to the family who may need time to decide if that is something they can handle.

Is the consumer to blame for direct cremations? Or, as a profession, have we urged families away from ceremonial cremation in the hope that families who desire more time and a chance to say goodbye will opt for casketed burial instead? It is my belief that we are doing a disservice to families who select cremation if we do not offer them an opportunity to witness their loved one being laid to rest. Most funeral directors will invite the surviving family to be present at the graveside service. Witnessing the remains being placed into the chamber is like watching a casket be lowered into the grave, but for cremation. Similarly, this event creates a lasting memorial and final farewell for the family.

Offering ceremonial witness cremations to families allows a unique, hands-on experience that creates an additional opportunity for the family to gain closure in a meaningful way. When we set up a graveside service, we plan for ceremonial comforts: a tent, chairs, perhaps an ice bucket filled with bottled water and, more often than not, someone to officiate the ceremony whether this is a clergy member, celebrant, family member or the funeral director. There is a prescribed and widely accepted order to the event. To appropriately create this memory of physical separation from a loved one’s remains for our families who select cremation, we need to ask ourselves some questions and shift our own perspectives.

When was the last time you had a client family ask for a three-day viewing in a Promethean bronze casket with limos for everyone and a plot in the highest spot in the cemetery that overlooks the lake? The fact is that we will continue to serve a growing number of cremation families in the future. Why not create a standard of excellence in your market for cremation ceremonies imbued with meaning and ritual.
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Regardless of the type of disposition, families want to ensure that the remains they are entrusting into your care are that of their loved one. Witness cremation ceremonies offer both an opportunity to gather in remembrance of the departed as well as rapport-building transparency with positive identification of the deceased. Families will consider your firm as more credible if you have nothing to hide, and many will want to participate in the hands-on experience of saying goodbye. Seeing their loved one right before the cremation—and potentially participating by initiating the cremation process—will help create a peace of mind, dispel fears about the process, and create greater goodwill and trust. It will allow the families you serve to recognize the permanence of death (Wolfelt, 2016).

As the public becomes more familiar with “do-it-yourself” and hands-on experiences, while self-educating about cremation, it makes sense to offer private crematory experiences as part of our standard services just as we include visitations and graveside ceremonies.

Let’s consider the optics of practicing witness cremation ceremonies. When my mother passes, I plan on being present at the crematory to see my mother one last time. Will I be comfortable with her being cremated in a cardboard alternative container? I consider myself a pragmatist, but it would be much harder for me to select a minimum cardboard container over an alternative cremation option that comes with a pillow and is the same color as all her furniture. Even though I know, rationally, that it will be consumed during the cremation, the likelihood of upgrading my mother to a ceremonial cremation container is 100%.

Even if not embalmed, setting a decedent’s features and performing a minimum preparation of remains should be planned for regardless of whether the family has expressed a desire to view the remains at the crematory. The majority of crematory operators I have worked with in the past have told me that if a family is willing to travel to the crematory, then there is a greater chance that they may wish to view the remains at the time of the cremation even if they were previously undecided about viewing.

As with planning any other type of service, it is important to allot enough time and set expectations and constraints to the family, the funeral home, and the crematory. This will require clear communication between all parties involved to schedule a well-organized event. Families want a memorable and favorable experience; they do not want to feel rushed.

As the families we serve become increasingly participative, including them in the planning and tone of this event lends them a greater sense of control. Survivors may opt to place special photos, letters, or trinkets into the cremation container; they may wish to have a significant song played while their loved one is being placed into the chamber. The benefits outweigh the additional time and effort spent planning the service.

Fear comes from a loss of control. Not having a realistic picture of what the crematory looks like, feels like, smells like, or sounds like will cause undue stress. It is important for practitioners to help their client families understand what to expect so they will know what the outcome of the event will be and rest at ease knowing that nothing terrible will happen, like their imagination suggests.

There are several opportunities to convey the value and experience of witness cremation ceremonies: wherever you explain what services you offer. This service should appear on your General Price List, under the Services tab of your website, and be addressed during the arrangement conference with every family who selects cremation. Several funeral homes have the witness cremation option built in to their cremation authorization form, where the authorizing agent will initial “Yes, we want to witness the cremation and here are the names of the people who will be present”, or “No, we would like to opt out of that ceremony.” If appropriate, a gallery of photos or YouTube video can give a sense of the crematory, so you do not have to schedule a pre-cremation tour of the space (although an open-door policy is a recommended best practice).
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When making funeral arrangements, a consumer may not have enough background information to understand what you are asking if you say, “Do you want to witness the cremation?” Without context, this sounds more like a threat, rather than an invitation. Over time, a funeral arranger can become more familiar with how to present witness cremation experiences by explaining the ceremony and inviting the family to be present for the event. Here’s a sample script:

Whether your crematory space is “industrial,” or built specifically to host families for witness ceremonies, managing that expectation is key. Would heavy rain deter you from attending the graveside of your spouse or parent? If not, then a “no-frills” functional crematory space should not be a deterrent for a family, but having a weather forecast and knowing ahead of time to bring rain boots is always appreciated.

In an ideal world, every family who selects cremation would be present to see their loved one. If that were the case, the chances of an erroneous cremation would be nearly impossible. Realistically, the percent of families who choose to be present at the graveside to see the casket lowered is likely what you can expect of families to witness cremations.

As with a burial or any ceremony in funeral service, there must be an order of events to ensure a smooth cremation. Funeral directors must partner with crematory operators and schedule times for witnesses at the crematory’s discretion (e.g., “The crematory operator says that we can plan the witness ceremony on Tuesday at 1:00 pm. Does that work for your family?”).

If you have a distrusting family who does not want to “receive someone else’s ashes”, crematory experiences are the solution. You can collaborate with the crematory operator to allow the family to be present for the transfer of their loved one’s cremated remains to the urn, giving the family a greater sense of trust and peace of mind. It is critical to coordinate the scheduling with the crematory. It may make sense to hold the witness cremation as the last one of the day and schedule the pickup of the urn for first thing in the morning; this gives the crematory operator ample time for overnight cooling and an additional opportunity for the family to watch the identification process post-cremation.

Many funeral service providers may be reluctant to offer witness cremation ceremonies because it is more work. But you would be surprised by the number of “direct cremation” families who are ready and willing to see their loved one, they just did not know it was an option. We don’t know what we don’t know. It doesn’t hurt or cost anything to ask those you serve if they want to press a button, place the cremation casket into the chamber, insert a letter or drawing from a child in the cremation container, or order flowers when they see a photo of an all-concrete crematory space.
Giving the consumer a say in the cremation service helps add value to the experience. It offers another opportunity to mourn and be together in a difficult time. Plenty of funeral homes routinely ask the family if they want to see the lowering of the casket during a graveside service. Why not start with witness cremation ceremonies?

Dear Friends and Colleagues,

I am reaching out to you because you have been a resource and guide for families.

Times are so very strange and challenging and fearful right now and we know that everyone is scrambling to figure out how we honor our dead and support our bereaved from a distance. This is our daily struggle. I know you are dealing with so many questions and unknowns and facing families on their worst day with very few answers to give them. I also know that many churches and clergy are not available to conduct funerals for anyone—even their own church members. Local governments across the world are already telling families they cannot attend funerals. Now we are faced with a world-wide experience that no one could prepare for. We are here, to care for the dead and speak for the bereaved. You are a hero every day, and especially today.

Now is our time to shine. Whether you are a licensed funeral director, a Celebrant, clergy, officiant, chaplain—or one of those myriads of other roles who serve families—we have a bunch of talented and creative people here. Let's think about how to create services that capture the moment and invite people to feel close even when they can't be there.

What I want to offer to each of you is this—if you have families who would like to have a small service now, reach out to a Celebrant in your area, or use my free resource to inspire you, and find a way to connect families at this difficult time. Arrange to meet with them by phone or Facetime or Zoom and gather the stories and put together a service that you can give them now by webcast, or just by print.
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Some of you may find yourself needing to do more family meetings by phone, Facetime or Skype. If you are not familiar with how to do those, ask a teenager—they are out of school with nothing to do right now so they can be your tech support.

Phone family meetings are challenging and you will need to work a little harder to connect with the family and to get them to open up. There's just nothing like face-to-face meetings, but that may not be possible right now.

Some of you may find yourself doing services via webcasting or video or for family only. These situations can also be challenging, but just keep focusing on meeting the needs of the family and the best way to tell the unique story of their loved one, no matter who is sitting in front of you. Or not, as the case may be.

For example—virtual candle lighting ceremonies—invite everyone who is watching to go find a candle/flashlight/something that can light up. Play some quiet background music to give people a moment to do that. Then have everyone light their lights at the same time. Even if you are not on a virtual platform where people can see each other, we can talk about the power of thoughts and presence being represented by our lights.

That's just one that popped into my head.

My thought is two-fold—the fear is, if they walk away now they’ll never come back. If they have a service already prepared and ready, they might be more willing to come back and actually have a chapel service. Or, at the least, they will just have the words to read that will hopefully provide some comfort and guidance for them in this very dark and lonely time and they will be grateful to the funeral home for providing this.

Grief does not wait and demands that we embrace it. We all are grieving our losses right now--loss of movement, loss of income, loss of friends and family, loss of security, loss of trust. A death just magnifies those feelings and the sense of isolation. As the people who are trained for this work, we can help families walk this path and give words of solace and comfort and ways to put the stories in a place that will help.

Every life deserves to be celebrated. Even when we are together from afar.

These are difficult times, for the families, for the funeral directors, for the Celebrants, for everyone. So, let's support each other, be kind, be generous, be vigilant—and wash your hands!

Let me know how we can stand with you in this uncertain time. We are all partners in serving families, even on the hardest days.

Take care and be well!!

The first thing to consider is how the services will be presented.

Some firms already offer webcasting and are comfortable and positioned for this situation. Others will be figuring out very rapidly how to procure the equipment and software and skills.

There are professional companies that offer streaming services on a per service or a monthly fee. You have probably already been contacted by some of these companies in the past few days.

There are public platforms such as Zoom, Facebook Live, Go to Meeting, WebX, etc. Consult with others who have used any of these platforms or services for advice or tips on what works or pitfalls to avoid. For example, Gordon Welch, Executive Director of the Oklahoma Funeral Directors Association informed us that Facebook routinely mutes music streamed on Facebook Live. Apparently, Facebook’s agreements with song producers require Facebook to mute music broadcast over the platform. Unfortunately, BMI, ASCAP and SESAC are not parties to these agreements so there is no way to solve the muting problems with Facebook. Therefore platforms like Zoom, Vimeo or Skype who are not parties to the same type of music copyright infringements agreements work better but still require a webcasting license.

LIVE STREAM WITH FAMILY PRESENT WITH NO PARTICIPANTS VISIBLE ON THE SCREEN.

​Suggestions:

LIVE STREAM WITH OR WITHOUT FAMILY PRESENT AND PARTICIPANTS ARE VISIBLE ON THE SCREEN

Suggestions:

TAPING FOR LATER BROADCAST

OUTSIDE SERVICES

Download the free Ceremonies to Celebrate Together From Afar Resource for Challenging Times as a pdf here.

With everyone seeking information on COVID-19 right now, CANA plans to host a weekly conference call for our members to convene and ask questions of one another, talk best practices, and learn together about COVID-19. Check your inbox for instructions to join, or contact Membership Manager Brie Bingham for more information.

CANA continues to frequently update a blog entry related to COVID-19 as new information becomes available. Be sure to bookmark the blog post and revisit as needed: GoCANA.org/covid19.

At the end of February, CANA hosted our annual Cremation Symposium in Las Vegas. That’s right, we encouraged people to travel to meet up with more than one hundred people and network in a popular tourist destination — it was a different time. Unsurprisingly, the topic of discussion on the floor was the coronavirus pandemic, or the spread of COVID-19.
Fortunately, the US Center for Disease Control (CDC) has released guidelines with information on handling infected, or potentially infected, cases at your funeral home, crematory, prep room, etc. These preventative measures align with current best practices in the prep room or crematory (i.e. wear universal PPE, limit exposure to the disease, and clean all surfaces carefully) that protect you from everything from the common cold to tuberculosis.

Current estimates suggest that more than 500,000 people will die from COVID-19 in the US by the end of February, an average of more than 10% more deaths than previous years (CANA released a special report on states' deaths and cremation rates). But your cases are not the only potential source of infection in your businesses. Of those that contract COVID-19, 80% are estimated to be mild which means they are more likely to transmit the disease. Experts are warning that rest of 2020 will be difficult depending on our response, and likely to continue until there is a readily available and adopted vaccine.

With state and local governments setting the current restrictions and guidance, current and accurate information is important to track. Consider designating one staff member in your office as point person to monitor reports and updates from the CDC and your local jurisdictions, at least daily, to make sure your business is operating with the best information. As this post is updated, newest content will appear in gold to highlight latest information.
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So what do you need to know to prepare your business when an outbreak hits?

Since "workers performing mortuary services, including funeral homes, crematoriums, and cemetery workers" have been officially listed as Essential Critical Infrastructure Workers, it is even more important to make sure your business is prepared for this challenge. Inform, educate, and train your staff of the CDC recommendations.

Now that this post is getting so long, we've added a Table of Contents linking to information below:

As a reminder, if there are federal and local orders/laws in conflict, follow the most restrictive to ensure that you comply with both, and ask for additional guidance and support as needed. Some resources to consider are: your state governor, local mayor, local health agency, as well as the Disaster Mortuary Operational Response Teams (D-MORT), Emergency Management Agencies (EMA) or Community Emergency Response Team (CERT) plus the Council of State and Territorial Epidemiologists (CSTE) and the National Association of County and City Health Officials (NACCHO). Be sure to check with health and government authorities any time you have questions to ensure safety and compliance for you, your staff, and your business. If you are designated an essential worker in an area under an enforced lockdown, consider carrying staff identification, state professional license, or some other information that demonstrates your status for ease of movement.

CARING FOR THE DECEASED
For any staff who handle the dead, the National Association of Funeral Directors (NFDA) and the Funeral Service Association of Canada (FSAC/ASFC) have useful resources for embalming, prep room, and removal staff in accordance with CDC guidelines (including specific guidelines for funeral homes) and OSHA guidance which clearly state recommendations for Personal Protective Equipment (PPE), transporting the deceased, and cleaning surfaces. Many authorities believe that cases and deaths are under-reported, so anyone coming in contact with the deceased should operate assuming that the case is positive.

A new study finds that the novel coronavirus remains viable long after the death of the host, continuing to replicate for more than 35 hours afterward. Thus "we recommend all work on corpses be conducted according to guidelines recently published by the World Health Organization, especially in the framework of widespread death in pandemics."

In the case of embalming, funeral homes are encouraged to follow families wishes assuming that the firm and embalmer have access to PPE and the time to embalm safely. Remember, as important as it is to wear PPE when handling the deceased, it is also important to follow the recommended sequence for putting on and removing the equipment.
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Cremation is a sure way to destroy any contagion on a deceased body, which is why it's preferred for Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease and Ebola, but the WHO has stated that "people who have died from COVID-19 can be buried or cremated. Confirm national and local requirements that may dictate the handling and disposition of the remains." The CDC has not released definitive information on how long the coronavirus lives in a deceased body, but they do say that "there is currently no known risk associated with being in the same room at a funeral or visitation service with the body of someone who died of COVID-19." As always, families should do what's right for them, which can include caring for the deceased themselves. They can have funerals and burials as long as they follow their state and local mandates regarding the number of people and social distancing guidelines.

OPERATING THE CREMATORY
Most guidelines that have been released do not specifically mention the crematory or operator. The following assumes that the crematory operator does not come into direct contact with the deceased, rather handles the container. If the operator in your business handles the deceased, see above.
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CANA recommends the following:

Generally, viruses are killed above 200 degrees Fahrenheit, so the cremation process kills the coronavirus in fewer than three minutes. There is no concern about virus exiting the building via emissions through the stack or remaining in cremated remains, however the operator should wear PPE to ensure transmission from operator to urn does not occur.

When releasing cremated remains to the family, limit the size of groups to ten or fewer, but also consider bringing the urn and paperwork to the client waiting in the car. Try to minimize physical paperwork with electronic documents and signatures, or providing gloves, to cut back on touching paper. Similarly, keeping clearly marked sanitized and used pens to take and return for cleaning will cut back on multiple use.
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In this pandemic situation, some crematories are concerned about regulations which limit the cremations a business can perform. CANA is supporting state associations who are working with these regulators to address these permits in the hardest hit areas.
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BUSINESS SUPPORT
With the Families First Coronavirus Response Act (FFCRA), passed March 18 and effective April 1 through December 31, 2020, businesses have new requirements for managing staff. All employers with 500 or fewer employees must provide paid Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) leave and paid sick leave – this is new for those who manage companies with fewer than 50 employees who were previously exempt from such requirements. The Department of Labor, Wage and Hour Division has required posters and useful information to communicate with your staff.

Once the FFCRA-mandated leave expires on December 31, 2020, employers with 500 or less employees are no longer compelled to provide emergency paid sick leave (EPSL) or expanded FMLA (EFMLA) to eligible employees. Instead, a covered employer may voluntarily continue to provide EPSL or EFMLA leave and receive the tax credit. The tax credit availability for those employers that choose to continue to provide FFCRA leaves is now set to expire on March 31, 2021.

As an employer who was previously exempt, this could be overwhelming, so it’s important to open lines of communication with your staff and establish a clear chain of command to address rapidly developing information. Don’t assume that all staff will immediately take advantage of these benefits and leave the business in a time of crises. Provide guidance and support in addition to addressing their concerns about what to do if they or a family member get sick. Don’t be afraid of questions or to admit that you don’t know. Importantly, communicate often to make sure staff are okay and keep lines of communication open.

The Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security (CARES) Act, passed March 27 and retroactively effective to February 15, 2020, offers financial assistance to small businesses and large corporations alike. The US Senate Committee on Small Business & Entrepreneurship has provided the Small Business Owner’s Guide to the CARES Act resource. If your business is having financial difficulty, you can apply for relief through the Payment Protection Program (PPP) with the US Small Business Administration (SBA) and your current bank. Alternately, you can seek support from the Employee Retention Credit (ERC), however a business cannot receive both the PPP and the ERC.

To better understand how both resources effect your business, CANA recommends contacting services who manage and administer your payroll, business insurance, health insurance, preneed providers, and bank. These are groups carefully monitoring how these regulations and opportunities impact your work in your area, and know your business best.
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For those in need of extra staff support, state associations in hard-hit areas and the NFDA have organized volunteer programs to help. Reach out to these associations with your need or availability.

SERVING THE LIVING
But don’t forget that the living are actually your primary audience, and the ones your staff come into contact with every day. The CDC has special recommendations for the workplace in “Guidance for Businesses and Workplaces to Plan, Prepare, and Respond.”

Many of the roles at a funeral home, like funeral directors, embalmers, crematory operators, don’t do the kind of jobs that let you work from home. We cannot access the prep room from our living room, or arrange with families from our beds. So encouraging proactive measures to keep employees well, then being flexible when people are ill, is key to keeping your staff and the community safe in any outbreak.
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By now, everyone knows the top four guidelines on personal safety:

When making arrangements or directing a funeral, these measures are important. The CDC provides guidance on the risk of different types of funeral services to help families make the right decision for themselves. Included in the list of protective steps, the CDC now recommends, and many states mandate, "covering your mouth and nose with a cloth face cover when around others." With the spread of new, aggressive variants, the CDC also recommends some masks be doubled for extra protection. As of January 20, 2021, masking, social distancing, and other precautions are required on federal land including Veterans Cemeteries.

Of course, the most vulnerable populations are typically older generations and those with pre-existing conditions (including smokers). If a staff member is concerned that they have been exposed, the CDC has issued guidelines for Safety Practices for Critical Workers which include frequent temperature readings, mask wearing, and frequent disinfecting of work spaces. The CDC and Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) have released joint guidance on appropriate disinfectants and cleaners. Shared work spaces include break rooms, vehicles, and any shared equipment. The CDC has developed a toolkit with language and posters you can use to communicate with your staff.
And don't forget your four-legged co-workers. Some animals have tested positive for the coronavirus, though it's unclear whether the virus can spread from pets to humans. To protect your pets, service animals, and your community, the CDC recommends limiting their interactions as well.

COVID-19 FUNERAL ASSISTANCE
Starting Monday, April 12, 2021, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) will accept applications for financial assistance to families who have lost loved ones to COVID-19 since January 20, 2020. Families must meet the eligibility requirements and must have appropriate documentation to make a claim. Some of this documentation comes from the funeral home, crematory, cemetery, or supplier that served them, so be prepared for requests for duplicate invoices, death certificates, and other support from your families.

This program is a fantastic resource to US citizens and other qualified residents who were faced with the unexpected expense of the death of a loved one. You may choose to be proactive and reach out to the families you have served since January 20, 2020 to offer help in determining eligibility or offer receipts and paperwork. The FEMA COVID-19 Funeral Assistance webpage provides detailed instructions, FAQ, and requirements to help in addition to guidance on spotting fraudulent scams claiming to offer assistance.

For those families who delayed services or interments, it is advisable they make those plans and purchases prior to submitting their application, since they are eligible for one reimbursement only.

This is the largest scale death benefit program FEMA has administered so patience and persistence will be helpful. FEMA will release more information in the coming days and weeks and CANA will report to you as the details become available.

MANAGING STAFF
In the event that someone does get sick, encourage them to stay home. This is a difficult argument to make with the existing workforce shortage on top of a potentially growing caseload, because these jobs rely on you being in person to serve your families. But with the COVID-19 pandemics, you cannot serve your community while being sick yourself. Sick employees need to stay home to recuperate and be well, but also to prevent the spread of disease in the community. As the disease continues to spread, you may encounter employee shortages from illness, school closures, and caring for loved ones. Your business must have a plan for what you will do if you have too few staff.

Death Care Services are deemed as a low risk sector, and typically exempt from reporting to OSHA, the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), or state agency incidents of illness, however CANA Member Regulatory Support Services recommends making a record of all work-related illnesses and injuries and placing that record in the affected employee’s file. For confirmed cases of COVID-19 or an employee that shows symptoms of COVID-19, this would include the employer’s directive to an ill employee that he or she does not return to work until cleared to do so by health care professional.

The challenge with COVID-19, or any infectious disease for that matter, is knowing with absolute certainty that an illness is a result of exposure in the workplace. Especially with the high communicability of the coronavirus, sources of exposure outside the workplace must be considered when assessing whether to report any fatality or hospitalization of an employee as a result of contracting COVID-19. However, some states are presuming that any essential worker who contracts the disease to have become infected at work thus making them eligible for worker compensation. Check your state's department of labor for any specific requirements.

The federal, state, and local health authorities have recommendations on reducing spread in the workplace including isolation and quarantine periods. In some cases, this could mean a note from a doctor about when it's safe for an infected employee to return to work. Plus, recommendations vary between health agencies with frequent changes. Stay informed on these protocols and update policies. Then, once expectations are set, you need to follow them while maintaining privacy. Remember that it can be obvious who is sick when they need shifts covered, but you can never explicitly confirm a diagnosis of an employee. If you have concerns that staff may take advantage of policies, reach out to a labor attorney to discuss options and risks.

Staff morale suffers when colleagues become ill or need to quarantine: fear for their colleague's and their own health, resentment of working to cover extra shifts, stress and exhaustion from a long pandemic, and more. Team-building is never more important than in a crisis. Like the military, we're not protecting ourselves for us, but also for the person working beside you, and the people at home. Whatever you can do to build team cohesion will benefit everyone in the short- and long-term.
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A Note about Vaccines: The federal government can mandate vaccination, but is unlikely to do so. Individual states/provinces are allowed to mandate vaccination, especially for specific licenses, but this will be determined on their own timelines and dependent on availability of the vaccine. It's currently unknown if employers can require staff be vaccinated, but it's unlikely, particularly since the experimental COVID-19 vaccines are initially approved for emergency, not widespread, use. If you are considering requiring staff get the vaccine, contact a labor attorney to discuss feasibility and risk-benefit analysis.
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VACCINE AVAILABILITY
​At the end of 2020, vaccines to protect people against the novel coronavirus began to receive authorizations by governments around the world. The rollout and availability of the vaccines has left many confused on who is eligible, how to get vaccinated, and where to get the shot.

Your state and local associations are great resources for information on when funeral home, cemetery, and crematory employees (licensees and also those who coordinate the proper recovery, handling, identification, transportation, tracking, storage, and disposal of human remains) are eligible to get vaccinated. In many cases, vaccinations are distributed by county governments under direction from state governments. The federal government has designated all mortuary staff as essential workers as part of the critical infrastructure of public health.

For US practitioners, one CANA member shared this list of Statewide Vaccination Plans with details on vaccination phases and registration enrollment websites for each state. This list provides links to state's government websites to see the latest information. Your state and local associations are additional great resources since they have connections to state and local governments to learn the latest information and advocate on your behalf.

Unfortunately, CANA Members report that staff have been turned away from vaccination centers, despite being eligible. In some cases, one facility will refuse but another will administer the shot. In one area, we learned that mortuary workers are eligible, but were instructed to register as another licensee since "funeral director" was left off the list. In addition to registering for the vaccination, bringing your government-issued identification and health insurance card, CANA also recommends bringing proof of employment at a death care facility. Let us know about your perspective on the vaccination process and experience in our pulse poll.

If you and your colleagues have questions about the vaccines themselves, you can read more about the program, the testing, and possible side effects on the CDC's website. CANA Members who have received the vaccine, report typical vaccination side effects like soreness in the arm and fatigue.

Remember: when you and your team have all been vaccinated, PPE is still an important part of keeping your loved ones and your entire community safe. Current vaccines require two doses given several weeks apart to reach full protection, and neither dose is immediately effective but require time to build up in your system. After which, the CDC has stated that the long-term efficacy of the vaccine is still unknown and that the vaccinated or "naturally immune" from previous infections may still carry live virus. Not to mention that standard PPE will always be recommended for backroom positions handling the dead. Please continue to wear PPE.
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DIRECTING THE FUNERAL
And don’t forget that you also host community events and services with their own considerations. The CDC has special, updated guidelines for “Mass Gatherings or Large Community Events” to help you plan and host safe services. Primarily, they recommend having posters and signs in addition to supplies on hand to keep everyone healthy, namely hand sanitizer, soap, tissues, and face coverings. Keep surfaces like door handles and light switches clean, and remember to talk to your community volunteers about being safe, too. The CDC even has a toolkit with posters and language you can use to  communicate safe practices to your attendees.

Enforcing best practices can be challenging with frequently changing information and fear of the unknown. Set a policy to protect your staff and visitors that includes your federal, state/provincial, and local requirements for safety of gatherings. Then, since there is nothing worse than having something in writing that sounds great but is not followed in practice, you must implement the plan, communicate it, train staff on it, and enforce it. Once you've set a standard, you don’t want to have to play funeral cop — but you also don’t want to let expectations slip. But scenarios are never simple—you can be reasonable and sensitive to the situation. Visitors are not employees, so you don’t have the same ability to enforce rules, but posting signs and agreements prove to the government agency(ies) that you are encouraging compliance, along with your documented protocols for family interactions. Consider investing in conflict resolution and de-escalation training for staff to make these conversations easier.

Depending on your location, you have state and local restrictions, and your business can be held legally responsible for violations, not the individual or family who is violating the order. But more than legal repercussions, ask yourself: Do I want to be in the news for hosting a superspreader event? Given how readily this virus spreads, it can happen too easily and then you're facing two crises—the increased calls from the pandemic and a public relations battle. Consider your community's trust and develop policies to comply.

With increasing emphasis on mitigating the spread of COVID-19, in areas with active outbreaks, the CDC recommends community-based interventions including "event cancellations, social distancing, and creating employee plans to work remotely," careful planning and communications with your families is important. Social distancing, in particular, runs counter to the spirit of the funeral by discouraging gatherings of more than 10 people, encouraging vulnerable populations to stay away, and avoiding direct contact with others. Fortunately, you are professionals trained in talking to families with compassion and understanding. For ideas on making your communications meaningful, watch a free, on-demand webinar from Lacy Robinson with " Practical Ways to Serve Families During COVID-19."

Now that federal guidelines from the White House have sunset, state governors' and state and local health authorities are determining how businesses and communities can operate — you can find this list of resources above. In some areas, any visitation or service has been prohibited. White House guidelines to reopen businesses and services is recommended in multiple phases to keep employees healthy, prevent spread, and moderate hospital cases and is helping states set their own reopening procedures. These recommendations will require your business to develop plans and policies to accommodate your families' preference for service while maintaining the health of your community.

Guidance from the CDC for consumers is written to help you educate your families on ways to hold services safely and the importance of taking social distance guidelines safely. Ceremony expert Glenda Stansbury provided a free resource to help you and your families find creative solutions, such as livestreamed services, to protect your business and the communities you serve. Grief expert Dr. Alan Wolfelt shared his suggestions on holding some form of ceremony at the Center for Loss blog.

Develop a plan with recommendations from the CDC including how to communicate with relevant parties. Mostly, be in touch with state and community partners to help respond to changing needs of your community. Working together facilitates communications, response planning, and organizing when the need arises. The Council of State and Territorial Epidemiologists (CSTE) has a list of who to contact at the state-level and the National Association of County and City Health Officials (NACCHO) is a good resource for local-level needs. These are great new additions to your connections with first responders, hospices, and other community leaders.
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KEEP SUPPLIES STOCKED
PPE and other safety materials have been difficult to source, so it’s a good idea to take stock of the goods you use frequently and make sure you have supplies. For those that are concerned about PPE supplies, the CDC has recommendations for Optimizing the Supply of PPE and and OSHA has issued interim guidance which brings their enforcement more in line with CDC recommendations.

The CDC has also provided a PPE Burn Rate Calculator to help facilities to plan and optimize the use of PPE. Also, reach out to suppliers, even those outside of mortuary supply, if your need is severe. As a final resort, reach out to your local health authority, coroner, or medical examiner to explain your need and ask for recommendations. One CANA Member suggested ordering smaller quantities to prevent large orders being flagged and redirected.
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CANA Member Bass-Mollett shared their hard work finding the answer on how to request N95 masks as it was explained to John Flowers, CEO of Bass-Mollett:

The National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH) has issued recommended Guidance for Extended Use and Limited Reuse of N95 Filtering Facepiece Respirators which suggests that equipment be alternated and discarded when damaged or dirtied. Some recommendations suggest to avoid wearing cosmetics, which could dirty the mask and reduce its effectiveness faster.
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Review the OSHA Standards on N95 respirators to ensure safety for staff and compliance for the business. Complaints about lax compliance have risen against health care facilities recently with fines in the millions of dollars, so review your policies and make sure staff are following them before a complaint can be made against your business.

Situations like this, in times of increased caseloads and illness, require flexibility, patience and planning which is why you need to have these discussions and plans now. Like the radiation case study in 2019, we want to help you plan, be safe, and prevent panic and misinformation. As information continues to change rapidly, the best resource for the most current information on your business operations is your local government and health authority.
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Predictions say that "prolonged or intermittent social distancing may be necessary into 2022." Preparing now for the virus's resurgence in the Fall and Winter means you can protect yourself and your business with proactive plans and preventative measures.

Situations like this also require extra care for yourself and your colleagues. "Stress prevention and management is critical for responders to stay well and to continue to help in the situation." Use the support resources from the CDC available by both call and text, and work together to stay healthy. Jason Troyer, PhD., specializes in helping death care professionals serve their families better. He wrote a post for us about taking care of yourself in these ever-changing times. Additional resources unique to death care are available in his Finding Resilience program.

Thank you for the work you do.

For the next few months, CANA Members are invited to join us for monthly Open Forums to discuss how they're handling their response to COVID-19 and supporting their community. Check your inbox for instructions to join, or contact Membership Manager Brie Bingham for more information.

US CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL (CDC)

US OCCUPATIONAL SAFETY AND HEALTH ADMINISTRATION (OSHA)

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES