CANA is a membership association. All of the work we do is in support of our members, and that includes talking to consumers. One of the key benefits of CANA members is their listing in our provider directory, a valuable resource for both trade calls and also the general public. Consumers call us for many reasons: They need help locating a CANA member in their area. They have an imminent death and don’t know what questions to ask the funeral home or crematory. They had a bad experience or there’s something that just doesn’t feel right, and they need someone else to gut check them.

But consumers also call CANA asking how they can avoid using a funeral director. They often tell us they want a direct cremation because they think this the way they can bypass using a funeral home. Now, we know this is not the only reason for choosing direct cremation, but it is definitely a factor for many. If you’re confused as to why consumers have this desire to “stick it to the man,” as some tell us, and steer clear of “the funeral director,” let me share a story that will shed some light on this issue.

I teach the Cremation Principles & Practices course for Worsham College’s online program. While there are many key ideas we try to impress on these future funeral directors, our focus in this blog post is how we teach them that customer service matters.
The assignment is to pretend to be a consumer and phone shop at least three funeral homes for cremation services. They are instructed to ask three questions:

All of the funeral homes contacted as part of this first assignment were in Illinois.
These seem like pretty straightforward questions, right? Well, for my first class in Spring 2019 this was a very painful exercise for these students, and the students in the courses since then have experienced the same thing. They think they are entering a profession where everyone cares as passionately as they do about helping families through a very traumatic event with compassion and respect. What they learned was that yes, in a lot of cases, this is true. There are some really great funeral homes and crematories out there who are compassionate, honest and welcoming. But they also learned that there are some businesses who are not, and many of the students ended up feeling anger, hurt and shock, as well as a determination to do things differently when it’s their turn.

Below, I’ll share quotes from some of the students’ assignments. This post is much longer than usual entries in The Cremation Logs because we wanted to show you the details of this feedback. There were plenty of wonderful funeral homes who treated the students with respect and answered all their questions. But there were equally as many who did not, and that is what is concerning. To keep this blog to a reasonable length, we are only focusing on the negative experiences for purposes of education and continuous improvement. Responses are organized by the questions students were assigned to ask. Please keep in mind that the people answering the phone had no idea they were speaking to students — i.e., future colleagues. They thought they were talking to consumers. Which makes some of these responses all the more horrifying.
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It is also important to note that none of this feedback was provided to the funeral homes called by the students, and no action was taken in regards to the violations we’ll discuss. This was an educational opportunity, not a scheme to catch any bad actors.

Wow. Just, wow. Can you identify the mistakes these funeral directors made? First, let’s be clear that the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) says “You must give consumers who telephone your place of business and ask about your prices or offerings accurate information from your General Price List, Casket Price List, and Outer Burial Container Price list.” They also include a note that “You cannot require callers to give their names, addresses, or phone numbers before you give them the requested information. You can ask callers to identify themselves, but you still must answer their questions even if they refuse to do so. You cannot require consumers to come to the funeral home in person to get price information.” In an opinion letter dated March 18, 2009, the FTC also says that “It is a violation of the Funeral Rule for a funeral provider to refuse to provide price information by telephone upon request to any person for any reason.” Clearly, we see evidence of several violations of the Funeral Rule in the examples above.

In the same opinion letter from 2009, the FTC explains that one of the Rule’s primary goals is to allow for comparison shopping. Make no mistake, if a consumer calls you and you refuse to give them price information over the phone, they will call someone else. And the person they choose will be the business that was transparent and gave them the information they asked for; they will not come and see you just to get pricing.
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Finally, let’s address the situation where the student was directed to the website by three firms, with instructions to call back if there were additional questions. The person called you for a reason. Maybe they don’t have a computer; maybe they need to make a quick decision and don’t have time to search the website for pricing information and decipher the packages available; or, maybe they just prefer to talk to someone. Pushing them off to the website is not the right approach. They will not call you back. They’ll call someone else who will talk to them. And remember, this would be considered a violation of the Funeral Rule. Answer their price questions, and then invite them to visit your website or your location for more information.

Responses to the next question surprised the students. Some of them had assumed that if a business has the word “cremation” or “crematory” in its name, they have a crematory on site. I bet many consumers make the same assumption and believe that their loved one never leaves your building until they pick up the cremated remains.
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Here’s what the students reported from the question about whether the crematory was on-site and if they could see a picture, or who provided the cremation service if there was no crematory on-site.

I’ll start by dispensing with the one statement that was a complete lie: It is NOT against Illinois law for the cremation to be watched by the public. If the family wants to participate, there is no law or regulation prohibiting it. Now, a company may have a policy that they don’t allow it. That is a business decision. But don’t lie to the consumer. If you don’t offer it, just say so.

Now, on to the bigger issue. It’s entirely possible that these firms have crematories on-site, but don’t have the space or the option to add a viewing area. We get it. But based on the answers provided during the phone calls, that doesn’t seem to be the case.

So, the question now is “Why not offer witnessing?” And if you do, why would you be reluctant to share that information over the phone? It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a crematory on-site. Many third-party crematories offer a witnessing area for their funeral home partners to bring families. As we mentioned in the previous section, families want to know what is going to happen to their loved one, and they want to make sure they are getting their loved one’s remains back. That is one of the biggest reasons why people choose to witness a cremation — peace of mind. And isn’t that one of your goals as a funeral director? To give families peace of mind during an emotional and sometimes very confusing time?

If a family wants to witness their loved one’s cremation, they will find a place that offers it. And they are willing to pay for that option. Families are willing to pay for a lot of things if they find value in it. If you aren’t making plans to incorporate witnessing into your offerings, please don’t ignore this growing trend.

As I mentioned in the beginning, this was a painful lesson for both the students and for me. I was angry on behalf of my students, many of whom were treated horribly. But I was also angry on behalf of consumers. These funeral homes believed they were speaking to consumers. Yet they lied, were rude, broke rules and generally did not represent the profession well at all.

It is not our place to judge why someone wants what they want, nor convince them they want or need something different. This is exactly why consumers want to “avoid the funeral director” — they do not want to be sold on something they don’t want. That’s why online funeral arrangements are growing in popularity. You pick out exactly what you want, and no one is on the other end trying to convince you to get something else.

I will also reiterate that we know of so many amazing providers who do represent the profession well through their unending compassion and willingness to get to “yes” and give consumers what they want. All of the CANA staff have been on the receiving end of that compassion as we’ve engaged their help in dealing with our own family deaths. I can only hope that these are the providers consumers call, and we eliminate the poor practices represented in this post.

Think this couldn’t happen in your firm? Think again. These are rural, suburban and urban firms, in the towns where the students live. Some of these firms were CANA members. The common thread among them was a bias against cremation. Even if you provide regular staff training on how to respond to phone inquiries, it’s still important to “inspect what you expect.” Engage a family member or friend to phone shop your own company and see how your employees are responding when you aren’t around. If your staff doesn’t provide information in the manner you prefer, and you decide remedial training would be a good idea, CANA offers an online Cremation Phone Shoppers course that reviews all the best practices and gives tips on how to respond to different questions.

That is my favorite joke describing 2020. It’s funny because it’s true. The pandemic spread of COVID-19 came out of nowhere and changed everything and everyone. Our best intentions, planning and hard work could not have prepared us for the challenges of a triple pandemic – disease, social turmoil, and political unrest.

When faced with uncertainty and continuous change, I have been amazed by how quickly and well CANA members have adapted, particularly in responding to trends that were impacting funeral service before the pandemic and will continue to be important in the year to come.
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Reflecting on 2020, it seems clear that death care workers returned to fundamentals to find solutions for dealing with such cataclysmic change. Now, as we start 2021, we can take a moment to set goals and priorities to meet the challenges to come. CANA cohosted a webinar in 2020 with DISRUPT Media during which we asked industry experts to comment on key trends. Some of those pearls of wisdom are included throughout this post.

As recently as February 2020 (at the CANA Cremation Symposium) we were discussing incremental change to serve families. We had no way of knowing that days later the world would turn upside down. Seemingly overnight, funeral directors pivoted to offer livestreamed services, online and phone arrangements, and new strategies to manage staff and operations remotely. Many of these early activities were conducted with no more sophisticated equipment than smart phones. We have come a long way since then, or have we?

This is the year to upgrade your technology game. Everything from arrangements to funerals to continuing education will continue to be offered online. Invest in stable, fast internet and computers with web cameras sooner rather than later. Software advances can help with everything from case management to first calls and staff coordination. Grow your online offerings to meet the consumer where they are.

Technology will remain the key to brand awareness and marketing success as well. But beware that you will sell what you market. If you are promoting low-cost, minimal service cremations online and via social media, that is what they’ll buy. Now is the time to use these platforms to educate your communities about the services you can (safely) offer with the help of technology and your facilities. Also, amplify local news on your social media channels. Facebook is the host for most local news and outlets and governments. Even in large cities, neighborhoods will have Facebook pages. We are spending more time online during the pandemic than ever before, and good news stands out. Let your feed be the bright spot as well as source for obituaries and practical tips.

You offer solutions to problems that death-averse consumers weren’t willing to discuss or plan for nine months ago. Preneed sales have increased during the pandemic, but have you effectively communicated your ability to help them discuss and make plans?

Your creativity and problem-solving are your best assets, and your communities need you now more than ever.

When my grandmother died in March and we had a livestreamed graveside and Zoom celebration of her life, we discussed gathering over the summer to have a family reunion in her honor. Needless to say that didn’t happen, and we aren’t going to gather this year or probably ever for that purpose. I gave the funeral home a 5-star review on Google, however they returned thousands of dollars of preneed funds earmarked for the funeral to the estate. How many families have you served in a similar situation? How many have come back to do that delayed service? Or did they simply make do?

Have we accelerated the trend toward cremation without services by funeral professionals? Only time will tell. Human beings are strange creatures – we crave what we can’t have – so it is quite possible that when funerals are permitted, there will be an increase. In the meantime, many CANA members have offered community-based memorial services. Some these are purely virtual, some are a hybrid of small in-person gathering with livecasting. I watched several in November and December and each acknowledged that we are grieving more than the loss of loved ones. That was a welcome and comforting message.

The stats on people accomplishing New Year’s resolutions is depressingly low, however goal setting is still valuable and really the best way to track success. We see gaps in service and opportunities for improvement during our busy times, precisely when there is no time to tackle a new project. So write your ideas down and keep track of them. A break will come and that is the perfect time to set your priorities for new projects or improved procedures.
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Did you always mean to start an aftercare program? Get on it! Still not sure how to understand all of the financial data and business metrics? Set up a meeting with your accountant or take a class. Still not sure what social media can do for your business? Ask for help and try a campaign. Make relevant continuing education a priority for all of your staff and yourself. Set goals and measure progress toward them. Then celebrate your successes. This is the best way to focus on the important and not just the urgent.

Now, we’re facing a new calendar year, but this real-time, continuous risk management experiment that we are living has not gone away. Hopefully, we will soon have new tools to combat the disease, like easier access to PPE and vaccines, and also to support ourselves and each other.

We have learned to safely serve our communities through deadly viruses before, and COVID-19, too, will likely remain with us. PPE works, and – with continued engagement and creativity – we will find the tools to serve our communities and navigate 2021.

My thoughts are with you during the next phase of this continuing crisis. On behalf of the staff and leadership of the Cremation Association of North America, happy new year.

WEBINAR EXCERPTS FROM NOTABLE INDUSTRY EXPERTS:

Rahsaan Brown is CEO and owner of Blue Nebula Consulting, a nationally scaled organization that focuses on assisting funeral homes build their sales and marketing departments.

Jeff Harbeson, a.k.a. the Funeral Commander, is the Director of Cash Flow Solutions at C&J Financial, where his specialty is producing accounts receivables and increasing cash flow. He is a former funeral home owner.

Ryan Thogmartin of DISRUPT Media is CEO of ConnectingDirectors.com, Price My Funeral, and Death Care Jobs, as well as the Funeral Nation co-host, along with Jeff Harbeson.

Glenda Stansbury is the vice president of InsightBooks, a publisher of books on grief and aftercare. She is also a licensed funeral director and embalmer. She is the co-founder and the trainer for certified celebrant training.
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Dean Lambert is the Marketing Communications Officer for Homesteaders Life Company and has been with them for a little over 22 years. He’s worked with funeral homes to help with marketing, communications, and promotions since 1991, so he’s approaching his 30th year with the profession.