I had the honor of attending the 106th Cremation Innovation Annual Convention in Chicago, Illinois, thanks to the scholarship myself and four other deathcare professionals received from the Funeral Service Foundation. As a somewhat seasoned deathcare professional and educator, I value and continuously seek opportunities to expand my knowledge, skills, and offerings to the communities I serve.  Attending last year’s convention, hosted by the Cremation Association of North America, empowered me to do just that.

Throughout the two days of the convention, there were several moving and empowering Continuing Education opportunities hosted by speakers who reignited the "fire in my belly." A few that immediately come to mind are Becoming a Leader of Influence (Robbie Page), Death Becomes Her – The Changing Demographics of Funeral Service Practitioners (Jolena Grande), Cybersecurity Awareness: Recognizing a Threat and Protecting Your Data (Lee Hovermale), and The Eternal Value of Cremation Memorialization/Avoiding Mistakes of the Past: Cremated Remains Belong in Cemeteries (Jason Engler). Each of these sessions provided attendees with the latest developments, trends, and best practices in our industry, highlighting innovative solutions and research that allow us to stay ahead of the curve.

While exploring the exhibit floor, I had the honor of meeting numerous vendors who shared not only their respective products and services but also their hearts and stories. The boutique style of the convention allowed attendees to spend time chatting with and getting to know each vendor. During these interactions, vendors not only shared their knowledge about the companies they represented but also their personal stories of connection to their brands and their own experiences with death, grief, and end-of-life decision-making.

This was unique for me because, in many cases, the usual hustle and bustle of conventions does not allow for this type of connection. The conversational atmosphere removed the nagging sales pressure that often accompanies these kinds of interactions and events. I felt more organically connected to human beings rather than feeling like the next sales conquest.

One of the most unique and engaging parts of the CANA 106th Cremation Innovation Convention was that it was all a game. Literally. The presentations, educational sessions, and vendor interactions were part of a game meticulously planned to encourage attendees to network, meet new people, and learn new things—all while earning points through the convention app. Ultimately, participants had the chance to win amazing prizes. While I did end up in the #1 spot with over 18,000 points, beating out some very worthy opponents, every attendee who participated walked away a winner.

This convention exceeded my expectations in many positive ways, especially in its intimate nature. The CANA organizers and leadership have done an exceptional job at mastering the essence of "less is more." Many times, attending a conference or convention can be overwhelming due to the masses of people, adrenaline, enormous venues, and the pressure to "buy now" (especially for an introverted person like me). This was not the case at the 106th Cremation Innovation Convention. Instead, it felt like a group of colleagues, both old and new, coming together to celebrate our sacred work, letting our hair down over drinks, and learning about what’s happening in our beloved field. I will be back again.

Joél Simone Maldonado, aka The Grave Woman, is a licensed funeral director, embalmer, pre-planning specialist, award-winning deathcare educator, sacred grief practitioner, and proud founder of The Multicultural Death & Grief Care Academy. She specializes in educating professionals about the importance of cultural competency, inclusion, and diversity in end-of-life, death, and grief care.

Joél has worked in the deathcare industry since 2010 and has over 15 years of experience in the healthcare industry. She currently serves on the Board of Directors for Compassion & Choices, co-chairs the board’s Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion committee, and volunteers with the organization’s African American Leadership Council.

Her passion is educating through open and honest conversations about the multicultural nuances of death and grief care via her courses, podcast, YouTube channel, and social media platforms. Joél is dedicated to continuously enhancing her personal cultural intelligence, competency, and skills through participation in various post-collegiate entrepreneurship, development, and leadership programs, including earning her CQ certification through the Cultural Intelligence Center.

Imagine stepping into a room filled with forward-thinking professionals eager to explore new, sustainable, and environmentally friendly options in the deathcare profession. The "Thinking Green" CANA Cremation Symposium in February promises innovation, where attendees can learn more about investing in fresh offerings, concepts, and services for their businesses. It's an exciting prospect, and the possibilities are endless.
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But here's the truth: having new, groundbreaking products or services in your arsenal is only half the battle. Without a well-equipped and effective sales force, those remarkable offerings risk becoming nothing more than dust-covered inventory and untapped potential.

In 2022, a certain cemetery (whose name we'll leave out of this narrative) made a noteworthy change. They observed that their top-selling urn vault was, for lack of a better word, underwhelming. It was a plastic, felt-lined, and barely-protective product, yet it was flying off the shelves, and understandably so – it came with an enticingly low price tag.

In response, the cemetery decided to remove this particular urn vault from their price list entirely. They left it to the sales and service team to offer the product only in situations that warranted it, rather than featuring it in literature. It seemed like a logical step towards promoting higher-quality, more protective offerings, and a brief memo was electronically sent to the sales team to let them know that the product would no longer be found in their price book. In addition, samples of the superior vaults were added to each display unit. However, there was a critical piece missing from this equation: thorough communication and sales training. The cemetery failed to inform its sales force about WHY this change was happening and failed to equip them with the necessary tools to effectively sell these higher-quality, higher-priced alternatives.
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Fast forward to 2023, and the results were all too familiar. That low-cost urn vault, the same one that had been deemed insufficient in 2022, continued to reign supreme. Not a single additional unit of the superior, higher-priced urn vaults had been sold in 2023. The cemetery's well-intentioned change had gone unnoticed by the sales team, and the status quo remained unchanged.

The lesson was clear: nothing sells itself. Even when you have cutting-edge, eco-friendly, high-quality, and innovative products or services, you need a team that can effectively convey their value to your customers. As humans, we tend to gravitate towards what we know, what's comfortable, and what requires the least effort. In the absence of a compelling sales strategy, the default option often wins, regardless of its true worth. And contrary to popular belief, yes, salespeople are humans (insert chuckle here).

As we look forward to the "Thinking Green" CANA Cremation Symposium, where innovative and sustainable deathcare options take center stage, let's not forget the pivotal role that a comprehensive sales program plays. A well-equipped sales force is the linchpin that transforms remarkable products and services into tangible solutions for your clients.

Mark your calendars for my session at the Symposium, titled "Growing Sales: Selling with Sensitivity," scheduled for Thursday, February 15th at 8:30am. In this transformative session, we will explore an approach that seamlessly aligns sales ambitions with genuine concerns for families. Join us to discover how empathy, service, and connection can elevate your sales strategy and empower your team to present and sell innovative offerings effectively.
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In the world of deathcare, where innovation and sustainability take center stage, remember that nothing sells itself. It takes a dedicated and skilled sales force to showcase the true value of your offerings. Equip your team with the knowledge, skills, and motivation needed to present these innovations persuasively.

In the fast-paced and ever-evolving landscape of leadership, the ability to thrive under stress is a hallmark of effective leaders. Understanding our own tendencies is a crucial first step. Leaders who are self-aware can better comprehend how their actions impact others, fostering a culture of empathy within the team.

A key element in navigating stress is providing a balanced combination of support and challenge. This equilibrium liberates the team, encouraging them to push boundaries and reach their full potential. Leaders who master this delicate dance create an environment where innovation and growth flourish.

The distinction between influence and power is critical for leaders striving under stress. While power relies on authority and control, influence is built on trust, respect, and collaboration. Choosing influence over positional power fosters a positive team dynamic, where each member feels valued and empowered to contribute their best.

Intentionality in team development is a strategic move that pays dividends. By investing time and resources into cultivating the skills and strengths of each team member, leaders unlock untapped capacity. This not only enhances the overall effectiveness of the team but also enables achieving more with the same resources.
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Leaders who thrive under stress are those who embrace self-awareness, balance support and challenge, wield influence judiciously, and invest in intentional team development. This multifaceted approach not only fortifies a leader's ability to weather storms but also propels their team to unprecedented heights of success. After all, true leadership isn't just about managing under pressure but thriving and enabling others to thrive as well.

Today, families are seeking new, creative options for their funerals, and green values are a key influence. As the world becomes more eco-conscious, people are taking steps to do right by the environment wherever they can – and taking those values to the grave. So, your environmentally-friendly families are growing in number, but there’s no single, right way to serve them. Finding attractive options for your families and your business can leave you with a lot of questions and ideas, but not a lot of solutions and plans.

The 2022 Green Funeral Conference brought together funeral professionals from across the spectrum of green funeral practice at the Sandia Resort & Casino in Albuquerque, New Mexico over September 13-15, 2022. Hosted by CANA and Passages International, more than 50 funeral professionals from across the country – from all stages of their careers, a variety of backgrounds, and representing many different businesses – attended to get ideas on incorporating green practices into their operations. Whether that’s expanding cemetery offerings, adding new disposition techniques, or considering new products, everyone left inspired to serve their communities in new ways.
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We’ve condensed the insights from presenters and discussion into a downloadable pdf to help you explore ways to incorporate eco-conscious values into funeral services. Here’s some highlights:

CANA Executive Director Barbara Kemmis led participants through an interactive presentation and discussion about common language regarding green funeral practices.
Key Takeaways:

• Terms like conventional or traditional burial are being reclaimed by natural and green burial practitioners for the simple fact that these practices have been used throughout human history.
• Participants preferred using environmentally-friendly, as opposed to the terms green or eco-friendly, to encompass the spectrum of options for burial which may include or forego the casket, liner, embalming and more.
• They noted the commonalities of cremation, alkaline hydrolysis, and natural organic reduction are the reduction of human remains in a facility and a vessel/chamber and quicker than any type of burial. However, both the manner and results of the processes are uniquely different from a practitioner standpoint. These similarities and differences require further consumer – and practitioner – education.
• While the accurate term for the bone fragments remaining after a cremation of a body is cremated remains, the general public still uses the word ashes. Cremation professionals agreed that mirroring that language to connect and not correct during conversations is valid, but it can cause confusion when what’s returned to the family does not resemble fireplace ashes. Similarly, the use of the term alternative container begs the question “alternative to what?” and causes the need for more consumer education.
• Participants all agreed that language matters, and engaging in conversation about these terms with the profession and in education to the community is important. Having these conversations now helps funeral professionals find commonality and agreement to move positively toward the future and avoid the mistakes of the past which created division and defensiveness.

Want to keep reading? Download the Insights from the 2022 Green Funeral Conference paper now and kick-off the conversation in your business!

Consumers are choosing environmentally-friendly solutions for a variety of reasons: concern for the environment, enthusiasm for innovative ideas, the desire to do something new or to adhere to cultural or religious tradition going back centuries. The variety of reasons is only outnumbered by the variety of options for them to personalize their experience. As a funeral professional dedicated to serving your community where they are, you will meet people across the green spectrum. Being informed about these practices is why they chose you to offer guidance and expertise in their funeral plans. 

Be sure to mark your calendars for February 14-16, 2024 when we resume the green conversation at CANA’s 2024 Symposium in Las Vegas! There, CANA will bring together expert practitioners, innovative suppliers, and curious professionals to continue exploring and discovering environmentally-friendly options and how we can make a difference in our communities.

Ask any funeral director and he or she will tell you the same story plays out at their reception desk a few times each year. A middle-aged resident walks in holding a shopping bag and says, “My uncle just passed away and he had no children. I was cleaning out his house and found these urns on a shelf in his closet. I don’t want them in my house. What can I do with them?”

CANA’s 2022 Cremation Memorialization Research supports this. Nearly one in four U.S. households have human cremated remains in their homes. That’s 21.9 million families with parents, grandparents and extended family members who have not been memorialized in any permanent way. While around a quarter of these families have plans to relocate ashes outside their homes, many others have avoided conversations with loved ones about plans for their cremated remains and feel unprepared to make a decision. In addition, while the CANA study reveals that two in three respondents wish they knew more about permanent placement options, about half of these folks don’t know where to go to learn more.

To my mind, this CANA study says just one thing – there’s a tremendous opportunity for deathcare professionals to move cremation families from indecision to memorialization and permanent placement. Our Foundation Partners Group cemetery team has been working with our local funeral home and cemetery partners to reframe the discussion around permanent memorialization and the results are nothing short of amazing. Over the past five years, we have doubled the number of interments of cremated remains in our 22 cemeteries.
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How did we do it? It’s all about educating families, staying abreast of the latest products and trends, and thoughtful cemetery design. We’ll be sharing those strategies and tips next month at CANA’s 105th Cremation Innovation Convention. Please join me, our West Area Sales Manager Bryan Mueller and Dan Cassin, account executive for Merendino Cemetery Care from 10:30 – 11:30 a.m. on Friday, August 11 for our session, “Built to Last: How to Breathe New Life into Cemeteries.”

We encourage our teams to use every opportunity to discuss permanent memorialization. From our Foundation Partners cemetery pros, here are 10 tips to increase permanent memorialization awareness – and it’s just a preview of the useful information you’ll take away from our session:

1. Give cremation permanent memorialization information a prominent place on your website, in your arrangement space and in social media posts.
   
   
2. Design short videos, slideshows or animations showing various options for cremation memorialization and play them on a loop in your arrangement rooms and lobby.
   
   
3. Send regular emails to families you serve with relevant information, including grief resources, preplanning advice and options for permanent memorialization.
   
   
4. Discuss the negative aspects of keeping ashes at home, including possible damage, loss and chain of custody issues.
   
   
5. Reach out to cremation families multiple times following cremation to let them know it’s never too late to select a final resting place.
   
   
6. If your funeral home has a cemetery, have a cemetery advisor present to provide information and tours when families make immediate, imminent or preneed funeral arrangements.
   
   
7. Host special events year-round, including holiday commemorations and historic tours that give community members opportunities to visit the location and appreciate available options in a non-sales environment.
   
   
8. Reach out to veterans’ groups. Although honorably discharged veterans are entitled to placement in national veteran’s cemeteries, many have limited cremation options. Veterans placed in private cemeteries may be eligible to receive partial reimbursement for burial costs.
   
   
9. Actively seek testimonials from cremation families who selected permanent memorialization.
   
   
10. Look to partner with a cemetery design or memorial company to increase the number and quality of cremation memorialization options you can offer families.

Increasing permanent memorialization sales to cremation families is within reach of every independent funeral home and cemetery manager. We look forward to seeing you in Washington, D.C. and to sharing more useful information.

In my work as a suicidologist and thanatologist, I have observed that suicide is one of the most misunderstood causes of death in our society and that our culture has stigmatized and silenced suicide with devastating results for individual survivors and communities. Approximately one million people die every year of suicide worldwide, leaving millions of grievers who are bereaved due to suicide death loss, yet often, survivors feel the weight of suicide stigma and do not receive the supportive and helpful responses they need to navigate their complex grief journeys.

When I work with students and clients who want to support someone they care about who has lost a loved one to suicide, the most frequent concerns they express are, “I don’t know how to help them,” and “I don’t know what to say.” These frustrations are understandable – we live in a culture that often silences open and educationally-supported conversations about suicide, so many people feel at a loss for how to assist a loved one’s grief journey after suicide.
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It is my hope that the following information will assist you in being an empathic and helpful presence in the lives of suicide loss survivors.

In my blog post, “Surviving Suicide Stigma,” I discuss several of the most harmful myths still circulating in dominant culture:

• Suicide is always the result of clinical depression.
• The suicide death was a “quick fix” for problems that could easily have been solved or an “easy way out.”
• If we talk about suicide, or about a loved one who died of suicide, we may risk becoming suicidal or causing another person to become suicidal.
• Suicide is an act of cowardice or personal weakness; while everyone feels badly sometimes, suicide is “wrong,” “selfish,” or “weak.”

Several of these myths stem from the ultimate misunderstanding of suicide, the belief that it is an act of free will or a rational choice. In fact, we now understand that suicide is a complicated phenomenon rooted in pain. Usually, there are many sources of pain – psychological, sociological, spiritual, and even biological – that accumulate for some people who are suicidal until the pain becomes so great that the suicidal person literally cannot see another way to end their pain.
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If we can understand that someone who died of suicide was experiencing complex suffering and that suicide was the product of a mind that was not working right, then we can begin to be of support to suicide loss survivors without the confusion and stigma that myths about suicide reinforce.

Because of the intense stigma associated with suicide, suicide loss survivors may internalize feelings of guilt and shame on their own behalf and on behalf of their deceased loved one. These feelings are often reinforced by thoughtless or harmful responses from co-workers, friends, and family members. In recent years, social media has increased incidences of suicide loss survivors feeling shamed and isolated, both through posted speculation about the death and judgment, often from people not even known to the survivor.

The shame and isolation often experienced by survivors complicates their already-difficult grief over the loss. As we know, all grief experiences are unique, but for suicide loss survivors, the interpersonal and institutional responses they receive following the death can introduce unique elements to their responses to the death. In the months following a suicide death loss, many survivors report an increase in physical problems such as brain fog, insomnia, gastrointestinal issues, and chronic headaches. The sociological stressors due to silence and shame may increase survivors’ isolation and make them less likely to reach out for support. Psychologically, suicide loss survivors are at high risk for disenfranchised grief and prolonged grief. And while studies differ in terms of numbers, we also know that primary survivors of a suicide death loss are at higher risk for developing suicidality over the course of their lifetime.
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Being a suicide loss survivor is like being in a club that you never wanted to join. I encourage survivors to speak to others bereaved by suicide because it can be easier to tell their stories without fear of judgment, but it is equally important that people who have never lost a loved one to suicide feel equipped to support loved ones who have.

Use appropriate and non-criminalizing language. Instead of using terms like “committed suicide” or “killed himself,” use language that demonstrates that you understand that the person who died was not a criminal for their suicidality but was suffering: “John died of suicide.”

Acknowledge the pain of the person who died. “John’s death is a tragedy. I am so sorry that he was in so much pain that he could not see another way to end that pain.”

Do not ask inappropriate questions. Asking someone about the specific means by which their loved one died of suicide, the condition of their body, or other details that can provoke trauma responses is never appropriate.

Practice empathy. Work to dismantle any biases you might hold about suicide and try to resist mapping your own belief system or judgments onto survivors. Be receptive to the feelings they can identify or express, and validate all of those feelings. Survivors may be experiencing shock, anger, and confusion in addition to other grief responses – be ready for it and be patient.

Follow their lead. When talking with a suicide loss survivor, give them space to tell the story of their loss without probing them. After a suicide death, survivors may talk about the timeline of the day of death in minute detail in an attempt to come to terms with the reality of the loss. They may be very repetitive, or they may not want to talk about the details at all in the early days following the loss.

Engage in attuned listening. When talking to a suicide loss survivor, maintain eye contact, demonstrate that you are hearing them, and engage in non-threatening physical touch if appropriate. Importantly, do not look away if they begin to cry.

Keep confidentiality. If a suicide loss survivor shares details, feelings, or worries related to their loss, assure them that you will not share that information with others. Because of the stigma associated with suicide, having someone trustworthy in which to confide is crucial to survivors feeling supported.

Offer to help them make meaning of the loss. While everyone’s trajectory of mourning is different, many suicide loss survivors actively seek to make meaning from the loss, either through doing public education on suicide, creating public memorialization of their loved one through scholarships or other donations, or via community involvement for suicide prevention. While I would not advise encouraging survivors to throw themselves into these kinds of activities in the first few months following a suicide death loss, I have seen the value in them for many survivors even years after the loss has occurred. If the person who died valued education, ask if you can start a scholarship fund in their loved one’s name. If they were a nature lover, ask if you can organize a tree planting for them.

Help them remember the life of their loved one. Those bereaved due to suicide do not ever forget their loved one, though strangely, they often report friends and family not talking about the loved one after the first few weeks of the loss. Do not be afraid to speak the name of the person who has died, share memories you have of them, or remind the person you care about of memories they had told you about with their loved one. Because our culture often reduces the life of someone who has died of suicide simply to their cause of death, it is both valuable and meaningful to remember the birthday and date of death of the deceased and check in on those days. It can also be immeasurably helpful to talk about the person who has died regularly in conversations, acknowledging their interests, work, hobbies, and unique qualities, rather than only talk about their death.

This year, International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day is Saturday, November 18, 2023. As both a suicidologist and suicide death loss survivor, I will be spending the day thinking of the lives that ended tragically and honoring the pain with which they suffered prior to their deaths. I will also be thinking of all the other suicide death loss survivors I have known and wishing for them an easing of their grief. Finally, I will be renewing my promise to help end the epidemic of suicide in our culture in hopes for a future in which so many are not lost and so many are not bereaved.

Thank you for your commitment to supporting the suicide loss survivors in your life.

​1. MEET LIKE-MINDED PROFESSIONALS IN THE INDUSTRY

Our industry is evolving, and it’s important to meet and speak with other professionals (like yourself) who want to position themselves to best serve today’s funeral family. This event brings together business owners, decision-makers, and other key people that understand the future of the changing funeral landscape. These people understand that ignoring the evolution of our industry is short-term thinking and leaves a funeral business vulnerable in the long term.

The Green Funeral Conference brings together a tight group of individuals, and networking opportunities are built into the program. In addition to a full day and a half of educational sessions, there will be a welcome reception at the Sandia Resort, a cocktail reception at Passages International’s headquarters in Albuquerque, and more opportunities to meet and get to know your colleagues in other areas.

2. LEARN ABOUT THE LATEST IN GREEN FUNERAL ALTERNATIVES AND OPTIONS

The speakers and panels that have been assembled cover a wide array of topics, including cutting-edge new processes like Natural Organic Reduction, the basics and specifics of actually conducting a green burial, a case study of a funeral home boosting their business by offering greener cremation options, and discussions on how to market to today’s environmentally aware audience successfully.
Traditional burial has remained relatively the same for decades, but the non-traditional sector is constantly evolving. It’s important to understand the spectrum of green options available for burial, cremation, and scattering, as well as the “shades of green” in funeral options, and how to incorporate them into your presentation to families.

3. VISIT BEAUTIFUL ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO

The desert Southwest is a striking place to visit. Our venue, the Sandia Resort & Casino, is a tribal venue on native reservation land nestled against the Sandia Mountains (named for their dramatic watermelon-pink color during sunset). Early mornings in Fall you can see hot air balloons accenting the sky and the Sandia Mountain foothills offer amazing views and hiking trails not far from the venue.

New Mexico’s capital, Santa Fe, is one of the oldest cities in the country (founded in 1607), and the blend of Native American, Spanish, and Mexican influences is clearly evident in New Mexican architecture, food, and culture. Attendees will have access to the venue’s world-class spa, golf course, music amphitheater, and more! Don’t forget to ask for green or red chile with your meals, you won’t be sorry.

4. ROUNDTABLE DISCUSSIONS, PANELS, AND HANDS-ON DEMONSTRATIONS

The size of this conference caters itself perfectly to a discussion-based, hands-on experience. There will be roundtable discussions where attendees will sit with an expert or presenter to discuss different topics in a face-to-face environment. We will also have hands-on demonstrations on practical topics, like how to wrap a body with a biodegradable burial shroud.

Panels of speakers open up discussion-focused sessions, where participants can ask questions or bring up topics directly with the speaking experts. There is also value in seeing experts discuss the topics with each other, to better understand the different opinions, principles, or ideas within the industry, and how they can be applied to your business.

5. JOIN PASSAGES INTERNATIONAL FOR A COCKTAIL PARTY AND TOUR OF THEIR FACILITY

Passages International is the largest supplier of green and non-traditional funeral options, from caskets for green burial to greener cremation options, such as bamboo cremation containers and biodegradable urns for earth or water scattering. Passages will be hosting a cocktail reception at their headquarters, not far from our venue. You will have an opportunity to tour the facility, enjoy drinks and hors d'oeuvres with other attendees, and to get your hands on biodegradable funeral products.

When the US economic crisis of 2008, forced individuals and families to become more budget-conscious. As a result, people got resourceful and creativity flourished, especially when it came to memorializing loved ones. In some cases, this meant the funeral director was cut out of the equation entirely or left on the outside looking in.
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I don't think it has to be that way. You can reposition your role and partner with these DIY people, these family members that want to work behind the scenes and bring additional value to their life tribute event.

I want you to think about the family members that you've sat across from who are the DIY consumer. I want you to think about yourself and your friends and family who have the DIY bug and think about the feeling when you complete a DIY project. It is that sense of satisfaction. It is happiness that you feel. The new Man Cave is the She Shed! It's where the DIY consumer gets the solitude, the focus, and the space to complete these projects. These projects that are an instant mood enhancer for them. And that's how these family members feel. This isn't just something that they do on a whim.

And the most famous DIY-ers? Martha Stewart has been around for decades. Chip and Joanna Gaines started with one home decor store and now they have their own television network. Ben and Erin Napier and the Property Brothers are part of the HGTV Family. Brit Morin is known as the digital Martha Stewart, and Tommy Walsh is one of the most well-known international DIY personalities.

And now, because of YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok, we've seen the explosion of DIY bloggers all over the world. Some bloggers have their own sites or they use social media sites to reach out to potential DIY-ers. And it is their eagerness to provide video tutorials – step-by-step guides – to invite and encourage people to be a part of the DIY world. It is evident that the DIY world is expanding and here to stay.

Data shows that 50% of DIY consumers are female and 52% are between the ages of 24 and 44 – a mix of Gen X and Millennials. We know that DIY projects are directly tied to life changing events: a graduation, an engagement, getting married, having a baby, buying a home, and, we can add, the death of a family member. Every time there's a milestone or something big happening in their family, they have an event. They bring people together. They honor old family traditions. They start their new traditions, and it's not just about their immediate family, but they bring in their extended family and they also reach out to their large social circle of friends to be a part of those special moments.
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And, because of that, a life tribute event will most likely be the topic of conversation among many of the attendees. It will be the word-of-mouth marketing that funeral homes want! But—guess what? That funeral director will fade into the background and simply be seen as the person who provided the place and took care of the disposition.

Here are three ways to partner with those individuals to help you and your entire team avoid getting left out of the conversation when a DIY consumer appears in that arrangement conference.

SPEAK TO YOUR CREDIBILITY
The words “licensed funeral director” carried a lot of weight for many, many years. Then, we needed to say “licensed funeral director and cremation specialist.” Now we need to add a third line of credibility, and that is your “creative” credibility. That DIY consumer needs to hear, in the very beginning of that arrangement conference, that you are creative, that you're willing to explore ideas, and that you have resources to execute their vision.

BE THE IDEA GENERATOR
What I hear most from funeral directors is that they don't have the extra budget or the extra time to do the “wow” factor for a family. I understand that, so think of yourself as an idea generator instead. It builds your credibility. It says: We are creative. We want to help you. For example, "it was interesting to hear about your sister's involvement with Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library. I was thinking of a few different ways we could honor that part of her life."

KEEP RESOURCES HANDY
Have websites, magazines, and books available for your funeral directors to enable them as idea generators. Know the websites that consumers are going to directly. These are three from my extensive list of websites:
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beau-coup.com is a wedding and baby shower website (I forewarn you), but they have every possible keepsake, covering all different hobbies and interests, and can be personalized with shipping options to ensure items arrive in time for a tribute.

stylemepretty.com collects wedding ideas from all over the world to find out what brides are doing, what the trends are, and what resources that they're utilizing. If I was looking for tropical - Hindu - Jewish funeral ideas, I could go to Style Me Pretty to get some inspiration. And that's what you're going to find: a combination of cultures, hobbies and interests that bring it all together. And it's not just pictures: it is the resources and the vendors, too.

pinterest.com is ideal for free consumer research. Hop on and type in the search box “my funeral” or “mom's funeral” or “dad's funeral” and look at all the Pinterest boards that have those names. And these are just the public-facing samples! These are the ideas that people are collecting, that they're thinking about, so when the time comes, they go to their Pinterest board and see what they've collected over the past couple of years for a loved one or for themselves.

"When families participate, they remember. When they remember, they grieve. And when they grieve, they love." Remembering Well, by Sarah York
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That's the impact that you can have on these family members who want to have those DIY moments with other family members behind the scenes before that tribute takes place.

Story is also a valuable way to process the effects of change. During my ten years with CANA, I have experienced the remarkable pace of change in attitudes toward cremation. In the broader profession, cremation was considered a threat to profitability. I heard extreme statements such as, “We burn our trash, not people.” I heard denials such as, “My funeral home doesn’t do direct cremation. That’s for the guy down the street.” It seemed that no one really liked cremation, but it was a necessity.

CANA’s cremation story has been remarkably consistent: Cremation is preparation for memorialization. Cremation can be profitable to a business and accessible to consumers. Every grieving family deserves a funeral director’s attention and expertise.

Today, a new issue too many CANA Members share is a dwindling pipeline of qualified and quality funeral professionals coming in to do this essential work. Whether they are retiring for a new experience or burning out of a challenging job made harder by a pandemic, the workforce feels like it’s shrinking.
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Fortunately, story can be useful here, too. When I read books about places I have never been, I can imagine myself in the story. Can we create stories about these problems to arrive at solutions and envision different outcomes? Below you’ll find some stories I have heard recently from CANA members during my travels. I challenge you to consider how you would react in each situation, and what solutions you can provide.

Kerry has been working at Baggum & Taggem Funeral Home for 9 years, starting just out of mortuary school as an apprentice. She likes her coworkers, gets along with her boss, and has earned the experience that comes with being a licensed funeral director in the same company and the same town for almost a decade. Martin was just hired on as a new funeral director, filling an opening when Jared left.

Martin graduated the same year as Kerry, but this is his third funeral home because he’s changed employers every few years. He’s catching on, and Kerry doesn’t mind training him, but he brings so many different perspectives to the work they do. She’s beginning to wonder if she’s missed something by staying in one place. But, then again, even if she has, how can she be sure that she’d like a new place as much as she likes where she is now?
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If you were Kerry, would you stay put or start applying?
If you were Kerry’s boss, what would you do – try to keep a loyal employee or support her finding new opportunities? How?

Emily is 35 and left a boring office job to follow her passion and become a funeral director. Ever since her father died when she was 14, Emily has been fascinated with funeral directing, but first she followed the career path her father wanted her to follow. She went to college and  found a steady job with benefits in a well-known corporation.

Now, she has student loan debt from two degrees and is happier than she could imagine as a new licensee. Her apprenticeship was hard work, but she had a great mentor and earned great experience in the prep room and the arrangement room while learning the inner workings of her funeral home.

Emily considers herself to be a hard worker and is willing to put in the hours necessary, but also wants to maintain her hobbies and friendships. That was hard during her apprenticeship, but she is wondering if it will even be possible as a full-time funeral director.
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What does Emily do next? Would you hire her?
How should she navigate her new career? If you were her mentor, how would you advise the next 5-10 years of her career?

Robert sipped his first cup of coffee of the day and scrolled through his LinkedIn feed. No death calls had come in during the night so he slept a solid six hours and was feeling great. A few moments later, he saw a notification from his mortuary school buddy, John:

“John is starting a new position as Retired”

Shaking his head at the peculiar LinkedIn grammar, he contemplated what this meant. Robert hadn’t seen John since last year’s convention when everything seemed fine. They had talked about their kids and grandkids, HR headaches, whether or not to put in a crematory despite all the zoning hassles. Normal stuff. John hadn’t said anything about retiring. Did he sell the business? Is he healthy? What will he do now?

Robert sent John a text: “Congrats, I think?” and continued getting ready for the day. Soon, he heard his phone ping in response:
“Congratulations, definitely. Call me.”
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What’s next for John? It’s natural to celebrate a friend’s new job or business milestone while comparing yourself to them. Should John retire and/or sell?
Will Robert’s story have a happy ending?

Lori has the potential to be a fantastic funeral home manager. She has a natural charisma to build trust with consumers and coworkers, and she also keeps her eye on the details of the business. However, Lori also has a silver post in her left eyebrow and a blue streak in her dark hair. Mark doesn’t have any of those things – the charisma, eye for detail, or the piercing and dye job. He does have over 15 years of experience and knows the business inside and out.
...
For the third time this month, Lori is staring at an empty shelf. It’s where the Bernard keepsake was supposed to be, but it’s not there. Mrs. Bernard is coming in today – she’d confirmed with her on the phone just yesterday. Before she even knows why it’s empty, she’s already blaming Mark and gearing up to talk to their manager about his inability to follow the process. The paperwork doesn’t show that the family picked the necklace up, but Mark didn’t note it down the last few times either.
...
Lori is glaring at him through the arrangement room’s glass door. It must be the third time this month, and Mark cannot imagine why she’s giving him a hard time when he’s with a grieving family. He greeted Mrs. Bernard when she came to pick up the keepsake necklace and confirmed that all was well when Lori was on lunch earlier. Now, after farewelling Mrs. Bernard, he’s delayed his own break to assist this family who arrived more than an hour ago. He cannot deal with Lori’s attitude and this overdose arrangement on an empty stomach for much longer.
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How many assumptions can you identify in this story? How would you manage the conflicts?
What if you were Lori? What if you were Mark?

If you have read this far, you know there are infinite possibilities for the Kerry, Martin, Emily, Robert, John, Lori, and Mark in each of these stories. Your reaction to each of them may be a rich source of self-reflection and growth.

The funeral profession values stories. Obituaries and eulogies are stories, whether delivered in person or on social media. Funerals, memorial services and celebrations of life are places to gather and share memories and, yes, stories.

Your business has a story. Perhaps it started out with your great-grandfather building cabinets and coffins and has grown and evolved to his great-granddaughter running twelve locations and an online cremation business. Perhaps it began with you entering mortuary school, working hard in various funeral homes and now contemplating buying your own.
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Perhaps I haven’t heard your story yet, so I can’t relay it here. But your story matters. Your story helps you organize facts and make sense of life and death. Your story is changing and reacting to new challenges and opportunities. Sharing your story helps you make sense of it, and helps others grow from your experience. Seeing yourself in someone else’s story not only improves your emotional intelligence, but it means you’re that much better prepared to meet a similar challenge in the future.

There are so many compelling reasons to master the art of story and use it as the basis of all your communication. It can help you and your company attract and retain talent. It can help you and your staff to cope with change.
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Remember, your story matters to all of the many audiences who may hear it. Be sure to construct it carefully, test it and refine it, and shout it from the rooftops once it’s ready.

Below is a sneak peek at the keynote presentation for CANA’s 2022 Cremation Symposium, titled Storytelling for Funeral Service. If you haven’t secured your attendance, you can register here

​Storytelling as a marketing tactic has been buzzing around the industry for a couple of decades—especially since the Internet, and its ability to reach more people more often, became ubiquitous.
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But when asked to define storytelling, marketers often hem and haw. They hail it as the Next Big Thing in Business Development, but then fall back on cliches and misunderstandings. They mistake “branding” or “customer experience” for storytelling.

So let’s define our term right off the bat:

We could fill a book describing the benefits of brand storytelling. Among the chapter titles in that hypothetical book:“Storytelling is as Old as Homo Sapiens”

• “Storytelling Improves Memory”
• “Storytelling is How Kids Learn Things”
• “Storytelling Reveals the Things All People Share in Common”
• “Storytelling Boosts Oxytocin (the “Bonding Molecule”)”

All good reasons for your funeral business to spend time identifying and crafting great stories. But I want to briefly discuss an additional reason to tell your tell, which is brilliantly put by Will Storr, author of The Science of Storytelling:

Nearly all human behavior is driven by emotions. When we feel something, we respond—sometimes consciously, often not.

When a potential customer approaches your funeral home, they are in a heightened state of emotion. They’re either planning a funeral for a loved one (feeling grief) or pre-planning their own funeral (feeling nervous or sad).
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A great story can help them sort out—even if just to a small extent—the wild mix of feelings they’re dealing with. The alternative is far less effective. . .

The opposite of storytelling is “making claims.” This is what most businesses do:

• “We care about you.”
• “We will treat your loved one as if they were our own.”
• “We are 15% less expensive than our competitors.”
• “Our customers report having an excellent experience working with us.”
• “Last year, we helped more families in our state than any other funeral home.”

True or not, a “claim” is a mostly ineffective way of attracting attention and converting that connection into business. Why? Because when the human brain encounters a factual claim, our rational, conscious brains switch on in order for us to determine whether we believe the claim. Even if we believe the claim, we have moved out of our emotional selves and into our logical selves.
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Put more simply: If you want to persuade someone to do something, such as hire you to conduct a funeral, you want them feeling, not thinking.

In 2000, a global study suggested that the average human attention span is 12 seconds—i.e., we devote 12 seconds of conscious focus on a new piece of data until our minds move on to the next thing.
In 2013, another study reported that our attention spans had plummeted to eight seconds.

Twelve to eight seconds in just over a decade—what could account for that? You know, of course: the explosion of Internet technology, computers in our pockets, Instagram, lightning-fast broadband connections—all of it. Never in the history of our species have we had so little time to try and communicate so much.

But there’s good news. While you have very little time to connect with strangers, you have:

• More ways to find customers than ever before
• Technology and social media platforms galore on which to tell your business’ story
• Analytics to help you target your messages with hyper-specificity
• Designers who can make the ordinary beautiful and the beautiful unforgettable
• The Internet

Every time you set out to promote your funeral home, keep this refrain on repeat in your mind: I have eight seconds. I have eight seconds. I have eight seconds.

Once you have their interest, it’s time to tell your story. Here are some cornerstones of brand storytelling. We’ll discuss some of these in more detail at the CANA Symposium, but here’s an advance look.

1. Acknowledge the Customer’s Context: Create stories for every conceivable context, starting with the two most obvious ones we discussed earlier.
2. You Are Not the Hero: Your company is not the hero. The hero is your customers. When you craft stories, especially online, put your families front and center.
3. Find Your Adjective: Don’t just jump to something obvious, such as “compassionate,” and be done with it. Dig deeper.
4. Emphasize the Stakes: For a funeral home, the stakes often boil down to this question: What will happen if a person hires a different funeral home?
5. Invest in Storytelling: You don’t have to break the bank to tell good stories online. But you might need to spend more than you are right now. Invest in top-quality content now, reap the benefits for several turns of the calendar.

Hope to see you in Las Vegas in February! For more marketing, branding, content and storytelling tips, check out the Mighty Citizen Blog.

Andrew shares the stage with presentations from experts across the profession:

• Angelique Simpson of Matthews Aurora will talk about Creating a Culture of Trust at your business.
• Rolf Gutknecht, co-founder of LAads, will show you The Most Important Part of Cremation Marketing: The Message. A panel of practitioners sharing their results will follow.
• Lacy Robinson will help you with Embracing the DIY Consumer.
• Chris Cruger, CEO of The Foresight Companies, talks Business Ethics: How Ethical Behavior Plays a Vital Role in Funeral Service and Consumer Satisfaction.
• and CANA’s own Barbara Kemmis and Jennifer Werthman help you with Retaining and Engaging Employees Through Story.

Your funeral business has many stories to tell. How do you find them and tell them so that they set you apart and grow your business?  Join Adrew Buck and CANA for the 2022 Cremation Symposium February 9-11 at The LINQ Hotel + Experience in Las Vegas. Visit goCANA.org/CANAconnect to see what else we have planned for the event and register to join other innovative thinkers from across the profession. Session sponsored by Batesville