On top of our individual concerns about the COVID-19 pandemic, we are inundated with good and bad information, helpful tips, fake news, political sniping and unfounded scary rumors. We are staying home and doing what the CDC and health officials recommend. And we are afraid.
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We crave “leadership of frankness and vigor,” and yet that attribute may seem in short supply today, although there are occasional glimpses. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt expressed that phrase in his first inaugural speech in March 1933 in the depth of the Great Depression:

We expect leaders to lead. We will follow leaders who are frank and through vigorous action show that they care about us. We will support those leaders and we will do the right things. We need leaders who communicate reassurance and offer light in an ever-darkening world. As we face unthinkable conditions, that may seem difficult right now. However, it is imperative that leaders speak realistically and frankly, while remembering to be positive and appropriately hopeful.

Whether you are the leader of a family, a community organization, a corporation, a nonprofit or a government, your job is to convey leadership through actions and the words you choose. You need to make hard decisions, be honest in your communications, and all the while “be careful not to scare the hell out of people,” as Dinesh Paliwal, President and CEO of Harman International, told Wall Street Journal.

This is particularly important in the funeral and cremation professions. In a recent webinar coordinated by webCemeteries.com, industry leaders reminded participants about the pivotal societal role that funeral professionals play in serving families. They note that in times of war, terrorist attacks, economic depressions and recessions, and now global pandemic, funeral advisors are called upon to comfort families in what is already an extremely stressful time.

At this time of crisis, funeral profession leaders say it is imperative to adhere to the values and principles of service to families that have always driven the funeral profession. Address your fears and the fears of families. Establish rapport and build the trust that families need at the time of a loved one’s death. Reassure families you will be with them and then live up to that promise, even if you must rely on videoconferencing instead of face-to-face meetings, and photographs and virtual tours of your properties, instead of in-person visits.
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Adapt, and demonstrate caring responsibility in the worst of times, they say.

History’s strongest leaders have led us honestly and communicated their commitment eloquently in times of crisis.
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President Abraham Lincoln, who saw seven Southern states secede between November 6, 1860, the day he was elected, and his inauguration March 4, 1861, appealed to Americans’ “better angels,” as he worked to prevent our nation from tearing further apart. Lincoln ended his inaugural address by saying:

Leaders in the funeral and cremation professions can address their own fears, then help fill the emotional tanks of colleagues, families and friends, offering a beacon of hope

Perhaps the leadership and words of Florence Nightingale, the founder of modern nursing, provide the most apt instruction for today’s COVID-19 pandemic. During the Crimean War, between 1853 to 1856, more soldiers were dying from infections than from battle injuries. Nightingale and her team of nurses reduced the death count by two thirds by improving the unsanitary conditions at a British hospital.

“Wise and humane management of the patient is the best safeguard against infection,” Nightingale said.
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Even more illuminating today are these words from this “Lady with the Lamp” who said,

Communications with frankness and vigor, indeed.
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Be safe. Help others to move past the fear. Be that inspirational leader.

Dear Friends and Colleagues,

I am reaching out to you because you have been a resource and guide for families.

Times are so very strange and challenging and fearful right now and we know that everyone is scrambling to figure out how we honor our dead and support our bereaved from a distance. This is our daily struggle. I know you are dealing with so many questions and unknowns and facing families on their worst day with very few answers to give them. I also know that many churches and clergy are not available to conduct funerals for anyone—even their own church members. Local governments across the world are already telling families they cannot attend funerals. Now we are faced with a world-wide experience that no one could prepare for. We are here, to care for the dead and speak for the bereaved. You are a hero every day, and especially today.

Now is our time to shine. Whether you are a licensed funeral director, a Celebrant, clergy, officiant, chaplain—or one of those myriads of other roles who serve families—we have a bunch of talented and creative people here. Let's think about how to create services that capture the moment and invite people to feel close even when they can't be there.

What I want to offer to each of you is this—if you have families who would like to have a small service now, reach out to a Celebrant in your area, or use my free resource to inspire you, and find a way to connect families at this difficult time. Arrange to meet with them by phone or Facetime or Zoom and gather the stories and put together a service that you can give them now by webcast, or just by print.
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Some of you may find yourself needing to do more family meetings by phone, Facetime or Skype. If you are not familiar with how to do those, ask a teenager—they are out of school with nothing to do right now so they can be your tech support.

Phone family meetings are challenging and you will need to work a little harder to connect with the family and to get them to open up. There's just nothing like face-to-face meetings, but that may not be possible right now.

Some of you may find yourself doing services via webcasting or video or for family only. These situations can also be challenging, but just keep focusing on meeting the needs of the family and the best way to tell the unique story of their loved one, no matter who is sitting in front of you. Or not, as the case may be.

For example—virtual candle lighting ceremonies—invite everyone who is watching to go find a candle/flashlight/something that can light up. Play some quiet background music to give people a moment to do that. Then have everyone light their lights at the same time. Even if you are not on a virtual platform where people can see each other, we can talk about the power of thoughts and presence being represented by our lights.

That's just one that popped into my head.

My thought is two-fold—the fear is, if they walk away now they’ll never come back. If they have a service already prepared and ready, they might be more willing to come back and actually have a chapel service. Or, at the least, they will just have the words to read that will hopefully provide some comfort and guidance for them in this very dark and lonely time and they will be grateful to the funeral home for providing this.

Grief does not wait and demands that we embrace it. We all are grieving our losses right now--loss of movement, loss of income, loss of friends and family, loss of security, loss of trust. A death just magnifies those feelings and the sense of isolation. As the people who are trained for this work, we can help families walk this path and give words of solace and comfort and ways to put the stories in a place that will help.

Every life deserves to be celebrated. Even when we are together from afar.

These are difficult times, for the families, for the funeral directors, for the Celebrants, for everyone. So, let's support each other, be kind, be generous, be vigilant—and wash your hands!

Let me know how we can stand with you in this uncertain time. We are all partners in serving families, even on the hardest days.

Take care and be well!!

The first thing to consider is how the services will be presented.

Some firms already offer webcasting and are comfortable and positioned for this situation. Others will be figuring out very rapidly how to procure the equipment and software and skills.

There are professional companies that offer streaming services on a per service or a monthly fee. You have probably already been contacted by some of these companies in the past few days.

There are public platforms such as Zoom, Facebook Live, Go to Meeting, WebX, etc. Consult with others who have used any of these platforms or services for advice or tips on what works or pitfalls to avoid. For example, Gordon Welch, Executive Director of the Oklahoma Funeral Directors Association informed us that Facebook routinely mutes music streamed on Facebook Live. Apparently, Facebook’s agreements with song producers require Facebook to mute music broadcast over the platform. Unfortunately, BMI, ASCAP and SESAC are not parties to these agreements so there is no way to solve the muting problems with Facebook. Therefore platforms like Zoom, Vimeo or Skype who are not parties to the same type of music copyright infringements agreements work better but still require a webcasting license.

LIVE STREAM WITH FAMILY PRESENT WITH NO PARTICIPANTS VISIBLE ON THE SCREEN.

​Suggestions:

LIVE STREAM WITH OR WITHOUT FAMILY PRESENT AND PARTICIPANTS ARE VISIBLE ON THE SCREEN

Suggestions:

TAPING FOR LATER BROADCAST

OUTSIDE SERVICES

Download the free Ceremonies to Celebrate Together From Afar Resource for Challenging Times as a pdf here.

With everyone seeking information on COVID-19 right now, CANA plans to host a weekly conference call for our members to convene and ask questions of one another, talk best practices, and learn together about COVID-19. Check your inbox for instructions to join, or contact Membership Manager Brie Bingham for more information.

CANA continues to frequently update a blog entry related to COVID-19 as new information becomes available. Be sure to bookmark the blog post and revisit as needed: GoCANA.org/covid19.