In the spirit of the holiday, CANA staff took time to reflect on what our work makes us thankful for. To a one, the answer was simple.

You.

We’re grateful for our members. You have served us in our times of grief, throughout history, and reliably with compassion and respect. Thank you. Thank you for working the holidays and weekends. Thank you for the labor you perform that goes noticed and unnoticed.

So this post shares the many ways in which each of us are thankful for you. Happy holidays from the staff of CANA.

I am grateful for CANA’s supplier members and their creative and sensitive development of products that have meaning for grieving families. Part of my job includes reviewing the ads and editing the articles that are published in The Cremationist and taking photos of the exhibits at CANA’s conventions and symposiums. In the course of these duties, I’ve been able to see many examples of designs that have been thoughtfully devised to personalize and contemporize memorialization.

This first-hand exposure recently brought comfort to a circle of loved ones and old pals when I attended a celebration of life for my best friend, who died this past spring. Dottie and I spent our childhood summers together on the shores of Lake Michigan and she raised her own family there. During the cremation arrangement conference with Dottie’s daughter, Ali, I remembered I had seen a handcrafted biodegradable urn that perfectly suited my friend’s personality and lifestyle. The funeral director was able to show it to us via an online catalog. Ali agreed that it was just what her mother would have wanted.

This October, the people gathered for a night of storytelling and remembrance. We were each able to write a farewell message on the urn that contained a portion of my friend’s cremated remains. Many of them remarked on the pleasure it gave them to send her off in this way.
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The next morning, a few of us headed out to the beach where Dottie and I had spent so many nights laughing and counting the stars. Ali placed the urn in the water and we said goodbye.

​In the two short years since joining CANA I have experienced two deaths in my family. And both times, CANA members were an integral part of getting me and my family through it. The first death came three months into my job when my 35-year-old cousin died from a heart attack caused by years of heroine abuse. My aunt had to arrange for his cremation in Colorado from her home in Arizona. Being brand new to the industry, I had no idea how to navigate making arrangements from a distance and was extremely grateful for the advice from CANA member and board member Bob Boetticher, Jr. He even called to check on me later that day, showing a compassion that I soon learned is a key characteristic of funeral directors in this industry.

Sadly, a year and a half later, that same aunt’s husband, my uncle Marty, finally lost his battle with leukemia. I was the first one she called for help, and I immediately turned to CANA member Elisa Krcilek from Mountain View Funeral Home in Mesa, AZ. Elisa personally came to my aunt’s house because she’d refused to set foot in the funeral home. And when my aunt started to price shop and look at someone with a less-than-stellar reputation, Elisa sold her on the peace of mind over low-cost providers. Elisa kept in constant contact with my aunt and myself, letting us know as each step in the process was complete.

Eventually, my aunt did set foot in the funeral home and purchased a beautiful urn to keep at home, several keepsake urns for her husband’s siblings, and a piece of Madelyn Co jewelry that she proudly showed me the next time I saw her. She loves being able to have part of him with her always. Knowing my aunt, I am convinced that she would never have bought the keepsake urns or the jewelry if she hadn’t gone to the funeral home, which she would never have done if Elisa had not shown her the kindness and compassion that comes so naturally to the industry as a whole and Elisa in particular. My aunt even recommended Elisa and Mountain View to a friend a few months later and plans to buy another piece of jewelry for some of her son’s remains.
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As I travel throughout the country to CANA and other industry events, I fall more in love with the people in this industry. You are some of the kindest, smartest, funniest and most compassionate people I have ever met, and I am so thankful to be able to work with you everyday when I come to work. Thank you for being you, and doing what you do. You are my heroes.

​We get more calls from consumers than I think even our members know. Sometimes they just attended a preneed program and want to know more about your company. Other times, they are confused or scared by a process they don’t understand but are forced to contemplate. The worst times, they are grieving for a loved one just on the other side of the door or inside of an urn sitting on their mantel.

On a personal level, I consider myself lucky to have never been in their shoes. My only interaction with the industry before I was hired two years ago was attending services for elderly relatives for whom “it was time” and had “gone to a better place.” But professionally, this meant I had a steep learning curve to be able to understand the industry and address these calls. In the past two years, I’ve spoken to countless members who welcomed my questions and responded with patience and warmth. Thank you.

More than that, I am grateful that when I recommend a CANA member to these callers, I know you will respond with the same patience and warmth you gave me. That any caller described above will be heard and served with the utmost care and respect because they called a CANA member. I’m thankful that I can tell the caller with certainty that our members can help them at any part of the process and that they will find support during this difficult time with you.
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Thank you.

​I spent part of the week before Thanksgiving on the road for CANA in Houston, TX. I staffed a COCP training and spent a fruitful day at the National Museum of Funeral History working on content for the History of Cremation Exhibit scheduled to debut in September 2018. I traveled home marveling about the legacy and impact former and current CANA members have made and are making.

I am so grateful for the many leadership roles CANA leaders have played over the years. From shaping the first laws forming the cremation industry to inventing much of the technology we still use today, CANA members did it. Often facing opposition from competing funeral homes or the queasy media, CANA members prevailed and promoted their cremation vision and services to their communities.
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The progressive and entrepreneurial spirit that inspired CANA founders to establish the association in 1913 and convene for the first convention in 1918 prevails today. In this Thanksgiving season, I am grateful for each of you, your quest for innovation, transformative service and advancement. You work hard, and this holiday season I hope you take time to enjoy the many fruits of your labors and reflect on the many things for which you are grateful.

​The above was written in 2017, but holds true today — CANA wouldn't be who we are today without the members who dedicate their careers to serving others, and ourselves, everyday. We're proud to serve you as the Cremation Association of North America, and we've added a new staff member this year who was happy to share her own words of thanks:
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I have only been working with CANA for just under a year, and during that time I have learned more than I could ever have imagined. My transition into a completely new industry has been met with new challenges every day. I am thankful not only to my coworkers who answer every single one of my questions in stride, but also to the fantastic members of CANA. It has been the members of CANA who have shown me a new appreciation for this industry. Your dedication, hard work, and compassion for helping others during the hardest of times is truly inspiring. Thank you so much for your kind heartedness!

Recently, Michigan consumer media was alarmed to learn that a funeral home had stored cremated remains in a storage locker. Worried about nefarious dealings, reporters asked if this indicated criminal activity. Asked for comment, the Michigan Funeral Directors Association assured that possession and storage of unclaimed cremated remains is common.

Indeed, the new owners of the funeral home had followed best practices by identifying the cremated remains and attempting to find families. The previous owner encountered what many do – the families had abandoned the cremated remains at the funeral home. Under Michigan law, cremated remains only need to be stored for six months before they can be respectfully placed, but the staff at many funeral homes balk at taking further action. They are troubled by the idea that cremated remains could be irrevocably separated from loved ones.
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A recent issue of The Cremationist discussed this very topic. The answer, simply, is to take proactive steps to emphasize the value of permanent placement in all discussions with families and to encourage them to make a deliberate decision. For many, cremation is valued because it adds time and flexibility to make these important decisions, so they tend to endlessly defer them. Three industry professionals offered their recommendations for helping families make a choice that is right for them and appropriate for the storage space available in their funeral home.

A QUESTION OF VALUE BY STEVEN PALMER
The question I pose to families choosing cremation is, “what would you do for a final decision if you hadn't selected cremation?” Now ultimate determinations must be considered.

To assist them in this thought process, I tell them not to think in the short term, but think eternally. If a casket is placed in a permanent resting place, why not an urn? Scattering is an option only to be chosen when it is well thought out and meaningful. It should not be performed because “we couldn't think of anything else.”

Other options to suggested may be:

Family Heritage Plot: Where are your grandparents or great-grandparents buried? In a large family lot back home? I am sure that there is space for an urn to reunite family.

Veterans Cemeteries: When an employee's husband died and was cremated, I suggested he be placed in a local national cemetery, taking advantage of this no cost benefit he had earned. She mentioned his mother's urn needed final placement somewhere. I inquired whether her father-in-law was a veteran. He was, an honorable discharge and marriage certificate were produced and, even though the father-in-law was interred in another state, she was eligible. Son and mother were placed in side by side niches without additional cost to the family.

Other more contemporary placements such as niches along a cemetery walkway or base of a statue or even being part of a reef placed in the ocean. Creative thinking can solve this indecision.

DEALING WITH CREMATED REMAINS BY DANIEL M. ISARD
I have a very dear friend whose mother was dying. Not understanding what I did for a living, but knowing it was in the funeral profession, she called me to help her plan her mother’s disposition. She wanted her mother’s body to be cremated. We went through the process of planning the funeral service.

Before the cremation I asked, “Mary, who do you want to take possession of your mother’s cremated remains?” She said, “Oh we don’t want them. Just tell the funeral director to do something with them!” I said, “The funeral home can place them in a cemetery for perpetual keeping or give them to you to dispose of as you see fit.”

Many consumers don’t care what happens to the cremated remains of their loved one’s body. There are added decisions they don’t want to deal with. These cremated remains can be converted into diamonds or potting soil but the consumer doesn’t want to make that decision.

One technique that I have found to be successful involves building out the cremation authorization to include the return of the cremated remains. The family is told that they can either pick-up the cremated remains from the funeral home or the funeral home can deliver the cremated remains to the appointed family member. The key points are the date range for the retrieval.

OFFERING GUIDANCE ON CREMATION OPTIONS BY MARK ZIMMER
We acquired firm a few years ago, and during our due diligence, discovered a cupboard containing 16 cremated remains that were unclaimed. They had two crypts at a local cemetery into which the unclaimed urns were entombed, reopened as needed to add others. While this is an effective way of placing unclaimed urns in an accessible place, it is costly and in my opinion, not an option one wishes to exercise!

We have all read the professional journal articles suggesting that the funeral director needs to offer guidance to families. I agree and feel it is imperative to discuss what the family’s decision on final placement of the cremated remains will be at the arrangement conference. In the arrangement conference I have heard such remarks as, “don’t you get rid of them?” and “I never thought of that!”

Winter time in Wisconsin can be brutal. Frost can go as deep as 5 feet, with 25 inches of snow on the surface. Families who desire a service in January many times wish to postpone any committal or military honors until spring. They also feel uncomfortable about keeping their loved ones cremated remains at home.
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It occurred to me some time ago that we needed to create an option for those at-need families who were not sure of what to do with the cremated remains. Our firm developed an “Urn Repository” which holds cremated remains on agreement with the family regarding final placement, how long the urn will remain at our firm, and how we will contact the family regarding a service at a later date. We then track aging, just like receivables, and send reminders as well as phone calls. It is a system that has proven effective!