We don't have time to question everything, of course, but I want to motivate you to question what you do and why you do it, and the impact that it has on your business. And—most importantly—the impact it has on your families.

I am a second-generation funeral director and embalmer from a really, really small town in Indiana. I've been licensed since 2005. I grew up in the funeral home with no intention of going into funeral service. But, as I got to see my father and understand what he was doing, I knew what he was doing was important and I wanted to be a part of that.

One of the things I heard from my father was “We bury our dead and we burn our trash.” And, as a young man, I didn't understand that, because Dad didn't own a cemetery and he didn't own the crematory. So, I started questioning that.

I thought, “What do you care? You want the phone to ring. You want to help a family.” But this was the mindset of so many funeral directors of that generation: “Cremation is our enemy. When a family says cremation, that's the only thing they want. That's it.” Those men lived in a time of cremation only, but from day one, that's never been my experience. So I questioned how we interacted with our families, and I wanted to get better.

I wanted to get better because, as a young funeral director, you find yourself in awkward situations that you didn't ask for. Families love to ask questions—and we want them to ask questions. But when you're a young, ignorant kid you don't know what to do when you're put on the spot with a question that you don't know how to answer. I never had someone tell me, “When you get a question that you don't know the answer to, just say, ‘I don't know, but I'll find out for you.’” That makes someone feel pretty good. You're going to help them. You're going to find out – it may take you five minutes, it may take you more—but you're going to help.

We have made this unbelievable commitment that we are going to care for living and the dead, and we're going to do it simultaneously. As a young funeral director, I always wondered: what makes a good funeral director? And it's one of those things that is always evolving.

I'm constantly adding to that amount of information that I have that helps me help families. And no matter how much knowledge we have about the funeral business or running a business or death or grief or all that stuff, what families really need is just another human being to listen. Another human being to be there, to support them and to support their decisions. We don't see that across all funeral service.

I am using a story I heard from someone who chartered a fishing boat. He mentioned that his boat captain was on the radio with other boat captains, and they were talking about where the fish are. They've all got paying clients. They all want them to have a good time. They all want them to fish. But these competing businesses are on the horn to each other, telling each other where the fish are biting today.

Conversely, there's other captains out there and they're not going to talk to the competitors. You've hired them for a boat ride and you're going to get a boat ride. And that's all you’re going to get. But other businesses who are competing are out there trying to satisfy their clients. When it comes to funeral service, we may call a buddy for help. We may call a funeral home to help bring someone home.

Yet, when it comes to service, a family walks in and they say, “Hey, I, saw this really neat thing on the internet you can do with cremated remains. Can you do that?” and I don't know about it. This happens way too much in funeral service where we say, “no, we don't do that here.” And we stop. We don't call out for help. We don't call out to figure out how to do it. Heaven forbid we tell a family, “we don't do that here, but I can find a place for you.”

A buddy of mine was working at this funeral home. When someone came in to pick up mom or dad, they sat across the desk and “there's dad, thanks for coming in. Oh, sign here.” She was mortified that this was what was happening. So, she started to think a little bit, make it a little bit different, make it more of an experience. And she got in trouble. “What are you doing? We don't do that here.” Well, she kept doing it. She just made it a little bit different.

I'd never thought about it. Never questioned it. It was just what we did. I think before I started using mom or dad or brother or whomever, it was “cremated remains. Here you go.” But, I started thinking about it and I was like, I can do better. As a funeral director, I do not want to treat my cremation families any different than burial families. Again, my family, we don't own a cemetery and we don't own a crematory, but I will do both for you, so we got to thinking.

You never know what a family's going to value when they walk in the door. They'll walk in the door and they'll be like, we want a dinner, or we want a kegger. Some families want a funeral procession. Some families want pallbearers, and what’s the answer? You buy a piece of furniture.

I was curious about this product: an urn, an arc, an urn caddy, there’s so many different names. I wanted one of these for years and years, but my father wouldn't let me do it. Finally he got older and stopped stopping me. So we got one, because I didn't want our cremation families to be cut out of some of the things that burial families get, and that some families value.

Now, when it comes to cremation, you have all of the choices in the world.

How do we know it's the right thing to do? The key is to sit down and take the time. Think about it, question it, talk about it. When we'd go on a removal or bring someone into our care, we would get into the hearse afterwards, and we'd start to drive away. And I'd look over and be like, “All right, let's grade ourselves. How do you think we did? How did the communication go? How did the transfer go? Do you think we met their needs?” Didn't even know we were doing it, but we were trying to get better.

If you're not even thinking about what you do, this business can be very routine. You show up, you walk in, you do your work, you go home. It can be that simple. But if your mind gets numb and you're not thinking about what you're doing and trying to improve, you'll never improve.

Just because Dad's been doing it 60 years doesn't mean it's wrong. It may be the best way to do it, but until we test it out, we don't know. And I encourage you to talk with other people about it too. Get outside of your circle, your echo chamber. That is the key.

If you asked me maybe right now, what else do I do? Well, when it comes down to it, all of this is caring for our families, listening to them, and empowering them to do what they need to do. We’re put out to be these money-grubbing, guilt-twisting professionals that will use that emotion to help ourselves. When, as we all know, that is the complete opposite of what we do. We will go the extra mile to help a family. You all do it.

I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. We all work in funeral service. We are equals, but when we go home, all of us are the expert to our communities. Tell your story, tell people what you do, encourage them to have those conversations, be open and approachable. And that's how folks build trust with us.

Early on in my career a mentor of mine said these words to me when I was dealing with some challenges associated with a family we were serving: “It takes all kinds to make the world go round.” I was still fairly new to the funeral service scene and hadn’t experienced the joys of dealing with families that didn't agree or get along very well. This phrase stuck with me all these years and seems perfectly fitted to where our great big crazy funeral service world is these days—or maybe just the world in general. Yet, in many ways I also feel like we have somehow missed the mark in funeral service insofar as actually “seeing” how diverse our profession really is, both internally and related to the families we serve.

You’d be hard pressed to find a funeral director who will tell you that they’ve seen it all. Most agree that no matter how long your career in funeral service may be, you will simply not see everything. I have to say that over these last couple of years, we as funeral service professionals have seen and experienced things that we never thought we would. If recent times have taught us anything, it’s that changing our ways may not have the downside we anticipated.

One of the changes that has been most profound for me has been witnessing firsthand how much more diverse our profession and our clientele are—more so than I had ever realized before. As we enter Pride Month 2022, I’m humbled to say that I have made a small contribution to the long-overdue conversation about bringing more visibility to the LGBTQ+ Community. We need to do this within the funeral service profession while also helping our colleagues learn how to serve our community better. My experience has confirmed that we, as funeral and cremation service providers, must become better attuned to the diversity both in each other and in our clients—which is often staring us right in the face.

Diversity, Equity and Inclusion have generated quite the buzz across many industries of late. And while this recognition is long overdue, it’s clearly here to stay. How will this change the way we provide funeral and cremation services to our families and embrace all employees?

Here are a few thoughts:

If I had a nickel for every time my mother said these very words to me as I grew into a—well let’s say “challenging” adolescent—I would be a wealthy man! But, when you stop and think about it, how we speak to our families and to our fellow employees can be way more impactful than we imagine.

Many years ago, I encountered a situation where a family did not want to mention the partner of one of the deceased’s children in the obituary. That son, by the way, was sitting at the same table as his siblings to make funeral arrangements for their mom. The family felt that it would be awkward to mention his partner since the couple wasn’t married—despite the fact that gay marriage wasn’t even an option at the time. Although it took some effort to contain myself, I assured his siblings that we could and should list anyone who is important to the deceased or her family.

This intervention brought some resolution to the situation while also validating the relationship between the son and his partner. I’ll never forget it.

We should choose our words carefully and, even more importantly, be cognizant of the way we deliver those words. What we say and how we say it to a family could change the trajectory of their entire experience with us, for better or for worse. I hope that son, and his whole family, took my words to heart that day and valued every member of their family.

Today’s families want and need to know what their options are. They want time to make decisions, and they certainly don’t want to feel that they are being spoken down to. We never want them to question if there were other options available after the fact and so must offer them everything from the beginning. So, take a little extra time to think about what you say before you say it, and carve out a little time after serving a family to reflect on what went well, or not so well, and find ways to improve for next time.

When it comes to the workplace, the same concept easily applies. We must have the same sensitivity to the words we say and how we say them when interacting with fellow employees. Fostering an inclusive work environment where diversity is celebrated and not ignored means educating ourselves on inclusive language to accommodate the backgrounds and cultures of our teammates. It does no good for morale for even one single employee to feel discriminated against or  marginalized as less than their colleagues because of their differences. In a profession where compassion and empathy are key to success, it shouldn’t be too challenging to nurture a work environment where all feel included and embraced.

Of all the musicals I had an opportunity to perform in during my high school days, Fiddler on the Roof was by far my favorite. (A video is available to those interested, but I digress.) The crux of the show is the concept of tradition and the struggles that often go along with watching the traditions we have known our whole lives begin to change. In our profession, we often use the term “Traditional Funeral;” however I’ve tried to get away from that because, with over 15 years in this business, it’s been my first-hand experience that just one tradition simply doesn’t exist (and perhaps never really did).

There are numerous customs and traditions associated with everything from the mode of final disposition to how the deceased is memorialized. Throwing the word “tradition” around too much may alienate families that feel self-conscious for not conforming to what funeral professionals  view as traditional. Especially as cremation continues to become more prevalent than ever before, let’s reassure our families that “tradition” is whatever they want to make it and make sure we honor those traditions, whether they match our ideas or not.

I’ll never forget when I offered to have a couple of classic cars parked outside the funeral home during visitation for a family I was working with. This was not a groundbreaking idea by any means, but for them it instantly made them feel seen. They felt that their husband and father, who LOVED working on classic cars, was more than just another person we were caring for and that his life mattered. Perhaps having some hot rods at the funeral home wasn’t what they envisioned as “traditional,” but it certainly was the best fit for them.

If the pandemic has taught us anything it’s that a good shake up in the funeral service industry may have been long overdue. We turned on a dime to respond to the need for offering our families more technology than ever—and were able to provide never-seen-before products and services. We have begun to better recognize that the demographics of funeral service professionals are changing rapidly and that more and more so-called “first generation” funeral professionals are taking on ownership roles within the profession. We simply have to realize that times, they are a-changin’ and we better get on board before it’s too late.

We may not know exactly where we’ll land, but we need to be creative and open to offering today’s families what they’re looking for. We don’t need to make everything up as we go along, but sometimes the best ideas on how to give pause to a loss and pay proper tribute to a life lived come from the places we least expect. My hope is that we end up in a funeral service world where we don’t grasp too firmly to the concept of “This is how we’ve always done it” but rather “Let’s try it.”

Diversity in our workplaces and in the wants and needs of the families we serve each day is quickly earning a front row seat in our profession. A thoughtful and sensitive response is essential to our success. So, do a little homework on diversity, equity, and inclusion and see how you can incorporate it into your world. And by the way, happy Pride.

Courage. Discipline. Integrity. The values and skills that veterans have honed over the years align well with funeral professions. From funeral directors and crematory operators to cemetery managers and maintenance and grounds crew or financial advisors to insurance sales, there are a wide variety of funeral career options available to veterans of all backgrounds and interests.

When asked to name their top business challenges, owners of funeral profession businesses rank finding strong employees at the top of the list. This is an especially urgent need during times of crisis, such as a pandemic, when the ‘service’ part of the funeral profession really shines. Caring, competent, mission-driven employees are needed now more than ever.
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But how to engage, recruit and hire more military veterans to careers in the funeral service profession?

The latest NFDA Member Needs & Satisfaction Study asked funeral professionals what they see as their greatest business challenge over the next 5 years. Nearly 57% of respondents feel their greatest challenge will be availability of qualified personnel. Data shows that workforce concerns have been increasing over the past several years among all segments of deathcare.

In contrast, every year more than 220,000 military service members transition out of service in search of another career. In fact, as of January 2021, the US Veteran unemployment rate was nearly 5%. There are well-trained military veterans looking for meaningful work.

A funeral service career can be closely aligned to the many skills that veterans have gained during their military service. Their commitment to getting the job done, organizational skills, interpersonal skills, leadership skills, and overall strength and rigor are admired by funeral businesses. In addition to applying the valuable skills they learned during their service, an interest in furthering their education and acquiring new talents makes veterans top-notch, coveted workers.

Veterans exhibit the qualities needed to be successful in the funeral profession: A high level of trust and resilience. A desire to serve others. The ability to work well in extreme situations. Mission focus and advanced teamwork skills.
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Journey to Serve is a free marketing resource program that works to attract veterans into careers throughout the funeral service profession. We aim to help you hire for positions in funeral homes, crematories, cemeteries, advance planning, business-to-business sales, suppliers to the profession, and all levels of support roles.

​When recruiting veterans, it is important to acknowledge the unique skills they bring to the workforce. Understanding the best ways to help veterans make the transition to funeral service will help them become valuable members of your team. Funeral professionals can accomplish these goals by leveraging the free, comprehensive Journey to Serve toolkit: a hero video, customizable print and digital ads, social media posts and radio spots and podcast ads, presentations and slide decks, FAQ messaging guidance, a career comparison chart, a customizable chart flyer, blog posts, quizzes and more.
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For veterans, the resources from Journey to Serve demonstrates how skills align, what educational opportunities and resources are available, and the chance to hear from other veterans who have made the transition. As an extra incentive, the Funeral Service Foundation and the ICCFA Educational Foundation will award two $5,000 academic scholarships to military veterans to help offset the costs associated with pursuing a career in funeral service and deathcare. The annual scholarships are equally funded by both organizations. A third scholarship, the Hunter M. Harbeson Memorial Scholarship, will provide $2,500 in academic support to a qualified veteran.

Employers wanting to offer placement through the GI Bill Apprenticeship Program must contact their local state certifying official to start the process, which includes creating a comprehensive training program that will teach the skills necessary for the veteran to become successful in their position. This may include classroom training in addition to hands-on experience. The program can help veterans transition into a civilian job by creating a mentoring environment. As an example, Merendino Cemetery Care utilized the program and found that it changed their organizational culture to a mission-focused approach, which was beneficial to the entire company. Read more about one veteran’s own personal journey to serve below.

​U.S. ARMY SIGNAL CORP AND MERENDINO CEMETERY CARE

One of the hardest days of her life was the day she said goodbye to her one-year-old son at the airport as she was leaving for South Korea for an entire year. After learning how difficult it can be to say goodbye to those you love, she made the tough decision to leave the military and focus on family. Thereafter, she became a 911 operator for 21 years. She also served in the National Guard and Army Reserves while working full-time. She was the first-ever female commander of the Lincolnwood American Legion Post #1226.
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Today, Daisy is the Midwest Branch Manager at Merendino Cemetery Care, where she oversees grounds management for 15 cemeteries. She works out of the Chicago branch, where she manages a team of five. She has a great trusting relationship with her team, which she attributes to skills learned during her time in service. “You have to trust in your leaders. I trust them, and therefore the trust is returned,” Daisy explains.

​Hiring veterans makes good business sense.

They are focused on mission accomplishment, and can continue their Journey to Serve by helping the families in your care.
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Our goal is to make your job of finding qualified personnel easier by offering free resources to help you communicate with veterans and recruit them to your open positions. The Journey to Serve toolkit of customizable marketing materials will help you target the right audience efficiently and effectively.

Veterans Day is our opportunity to thank and show support for those that have served. Journey to Serve is a new program aimed at recruiting military veterans to careers in funeral service. Launched in 2021, the program is a joint initiative of the Funeral Service Foundation (NFDA’s charitable arm) and the ICCFA Educational Foundation. The Funeral Service Association of Canada has also co-sponsored the project.

The largest philanthropic organizations in the funeral profession have come together to help the profession face the challenges of finding and hiring qualified personnel. We hope you will take advantage of the tools provided at www.JourneyToServe.com to find your next great hire.
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Journey to Serve provides free resources to the profession to help recruit veterans into meaningful work in all aspects of funeral service. On October 19, 2021, Journey to Serve was approved by the Department of Defense as a web resource on Military OneSource. This is a giant win for Journey to Serve, and means that the program is now front and center for service members preparing to transition out of their military careers.

The results of a recent survey for funeral professionals put out by Connecting Directors indicate that many funeral homes view rising cremation rates as a major hurdle to overcome when offering families what they want, while still making enough profit for a healthy business. Additionally, we’ve learned from the 2021 CANA Annual Statistics Report to expect a national cremation average of 72.8% by 2030. The time to solidify a cremation-focused business model is now.
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According to many deathcare experts, one of the biggest misconceptions in funeral businesses today is that cremation families don’t want additional services, and they aren’t willing to spend money on them. We’ve talked to six industry thought-leaders who have been guests on the Deathcare Decoded podcast on how to re-frame selling services and experiences to cremation families in today’s deathcare space in order to better serve families and turn cremation into a lucrative option for your business.

In a recent conversation with the Deathcare Decoded podcast, Larry Stuart Jr., founder of Cremation Strategies and Consulting, spoke at length about the first mistake many funeral directors make when working with cremation families, which is making assumptions about what families want:

Larry suggests that funeral directors take the time to listen to each family, in order to meet them where they are in their unique arrangement needs, instead of where a funeral director might think they are, or should be, as cremation customers. Larry says:

Furthermore, Larry suggests that funeral homes re-evaluate how they structure costs, charging more for services and less for specific products:

This strategy avoids coming across as a pushy salesperson and embraces the idea that families are paying for personal service instead of price-gouged products

Justin Crowe, founder and CEO of Parting Stone, a death tech start-up and public benefit corporation based in Santa Fe, NM, believes that personal service is one of the only ways that funeral directors can truly compete in today’s professional market. During an interview on the Deathcare Decoded podcast, Justin explained that:

Sandra Walker, Vice President of Strategic Business at Fairmount Memorial Association and a recent guest on the Deathcare Decoded podcast, makes an argument for better education around cremation options both within the deathcare profession and in wider society. She elaborates that families and funeral directors alike assume that if a body is cremated no other services are required or wanted, but more often than not, when educated about available services and products, families opt in. Sandra advocates for focusing on the value of what is offered before and after cremation and educating families on every option available, so that burial families and cremation families are offered the same services and experiences:

Sandra also points out that, without offering meaningful services to families and listening to what they want, funeral directors just become body handlers. If families are not listened to, have limited options, or are told no, they will go somewhere else to have their full range of needs met. Disinvolved body handling isn’t why anyone enters the field of deathcare, we are here to help support grieving families and care for the deceased. Shifting traditional perspectives about what cremation families want, and putting the work in to educate your staff and your families about everything available before and after the cremation process will only help the families that you serve, and grow your business.

Eric Neuhaus, founder and CEO of Green Cremation Texas, sat down with Deathcare Decoded to talk about how he started a thriving green cremation business from the ground up by focusing primarily on what families wanted and needed instead of looking at competing funeral businesses. In an interview for the podcast, he explained that, while his business may be more tech-oriented and less traditional than other funeral businesses, Green Cremation Texas’ success is not about the technology or what others in this space are doing. The primary driver behind Green Cremation Texas is simply “championing the families”

Empowering families to make their own choices and providing excellent experiences and services along the way is the main approach that Eric’s extremely successful cremation business takes. Green Cremation Texas is an excellent example of selling experiences over products and turning that strategy into a lucrative funeral business.

Ryan Thogmartin, founder of DISRUPT Media, recently joined the Deathcare Decoded podcast to talk about the importance of authenticity in branding, marketing, and company culture in funeral businesses, and how visionary thinking can help move deathcare forward. In the conversation, Ryan touched on misguided ideas about what is “dignified” in funeral services, and how these subjective opinions are standing in the way of truly serving families:

Ryan also makes the excellent point that consumers are willing to spend more money on things that they want, services that fully meet their unique needs, and products that appeal to their individual culture, style, and tastes. Research conducted for a recent IBM Institute for Business Value article supports this point, revealing that a large percentage of today’s consumers “are willing to pay a premium for products and services that align with their values and lifestyle.” Consumers are also more likely to feel good about spending money when they are supported in their desires and do not feel pressured into making decisions that do not align with their family’s best interests. Keeping personal opinion and taste out of funeral planning and saying “yes” to a wider range of arrangement services, options, and requests will only bring in more opportunities for your business – regardless of whether a customer chooses cremation or casketed burial – while giving every family unique services that are special and meaningful.

It’s clear that when a family chooses cremation for the disposition of a loved one, it doesn’t mean that the family doesn’t want other services as well. Cremation families need to grieve and process death, and they want the same thoughtful support and attention to detail that any other family would. It’s just as emotionally difficult to have someone cremated as it is to have someone embalmed and buried.

Following the advice of these experts and shifting perspectives around cremation services can turn the “rising cremation problem” into a boon for your funeral business. Consistently offering the same options and services to all families, involving your staff directly in curating the products and services your funeral home offers, and making arrangements based on what individual families want and need, will lead to happier clients and higher profit margins. The key to making cremation a thriving part of your business is listening to families, letting go of assumptions and personal opinions, saying “yes” to as much as you can, and selling services and experiences over products.

Click below to sign up for the Cremation Rocks! Newsletter and get cremation inspiration from deathcare's thought-leaders each week!

PODCAST EXCERPTS FROM CANA MEMBERS:

Larry Stuart, Jr. is the Founder of Cremation Strategies and Consulting and the former President of Crematory Manufacturing & Service, Inc.

Justin Crowe is the founder and CEO of Parting Stone.

Sandra Walker is Vice President of Strategic Business for Fairmount Memorial Association in Spokane, WA.

Eric Neuhaus is the owner and operator of Green Cremation Texas in Austin, TX.
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Ryan Thogmartin of DISRUPT Media is CEO of ConnectingDirectors.com, Price My Funeral, and Death Care Jobs, as well as co-host of Funeral Nation.

Death Doulas may seem like a new or progressive idea, but they are as old as death itself. In many cultures throughout history, mental, spiritual, physical and emotional support have been a fundamental part of the transition to death. Today, such support is rare, especially in Western cultural settings which tend to avoid discussions about death. A survey by The Conversation Project concluded that 90% of people say that talking with loved ones about end of life is important, yet only 27% have actually done so.
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In April, Ashley Johnson led a Crucial Conversation about death doulas as part of The Art and Science of Cremation: Crucial Conversation Series in April 2021. Because the topic is so intriguing, we wanted to follow up and share her experience and insight in the blog.

My death care career was inspired by growing up in a low socio-economic neighborhood that lacked advocacy on how to deal with end-of-life practices. When death happened, families were not mentally, emotionally, and financially prepared. As a result, they were not healing from this trauma.

My interest in funeral service started as a child, I would read the Sunday obituaries instead of the comics. I was motivated to become an end-of-life doula when my childhood friend was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer at the age of 27. I was doing the task of an end-of-life doula for her without knowing it. Once she transitioned, I saw fit to provide others in need of education, service, and companionship and continue this journey. Everyone deserves “good death” and families need proper closure.

After more than a decade in the death care industry, I launched Loyal Hands, an End-of-Life consulting agency I founded to provide death doula services in Orlando, Florida. I joined CANA in 2018 and began working with the Membership Advisory Group to build my network of deathcare professionals.

End of Life Doulas, or EOLDs also called Death Doulas or Death Midwives, enrich the dying experience for patients, family members and friends, while strengthening the relationship between medical (the doctors, nurses, social workers) and non-medical support (the family or caretakers). We are trained professionals who provide assistance and guidance with holistic services to individuals and their families during transformative life changes.

Doula-client relationships engage the difficult and complex emotions while navigating the signs and symptoms of the dying process. An end of life care team is made up of multiple different professionals ranging from doctors, nurses, social workers, and End of Life Doulas to foster a culture of equity in order to facilitate a good death. We strive to be a support system for those who are terminally ill, elderly, or healthy and their families as they plan for their transition. A death doula's work ranges from logistical planning for the time before, during and after of death; conducting rituals or comforting practices; helping the dying person reflect on their life and values; and explaining the bodily functions of dying to caregivers.

Doulas are an active part of the Death Positive movement, a social and philosophical movement that encourages people to speak openly about death, dying, and everything in between. Death Positive seeks to eliminate the silence around death-related topics, decrease anxiety surrounding death, and dismantle the foundation of inequality, racism, and social marginalization at end of life.

NEDA is a great organization because it helps inspire positive, creative end of life practices for the dying, their loved ones, and the agencies involved which includes funeral homes, hospice and palliative care.

Consumers and deathcare-related businesses can find an end-of-life doula at the National End of Life Alliance website. Because the industry is currently unregulated, it is recommended that people interview an end of life doula before hiring them, just as they likely would a birth doula.

Death doulas are NOT competitors with funeral service but rather complement the death care industry by providing additional support and community resources for deceased and their families. There are laws governing what death doulas can and cannot do just as with traditional death care. Funeral directors interact with families post death while end of life doulas are present with families before, during, and after death occurs.

In my own work with funeral homes, I have provided respite care to the families immediately after the death and provide periodic follow ups and aftercare. It’s the customer service that keeps families coming back. As we all know, people will not remember what you said but they will remember how you made them feel.

The difference between hospice and death doulas is that death doulas do not provide medical care. Instead, death doulas work in conjunction with hospice programs to provide interpersonal, social, logistical, and spiritual guidance that complements the care they receive in hospice.

Hospice care is regulated by Medicare rules, limiting the time staff is allowed to spend with patients and families. The National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO) has just put together an End-of-Life Doula Council to share with hospices and families the ways in which Professional End of Life Doulas can assist their work. NHPCO is encouraging hospices to hire doulas to complete the hospice team by filling in “the gaps in care” and allowing for the best end of life experience.
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Death doulas also step into other areas where hospice and funeral homes may need help, such as:

Death Doulas are here to serve humanity. We serve anyone ranging from young, elderly, terminally ill, healthy, caretakers and even pets. End of life doulas complement the care from hospitals, hospices, and funeral homes by filling in the gaps that occur during the dying process.

Every doula is different. Some assist only the healthy, some assist only the dying. This is why it is best to interview doula to see what their specialty is. Doulas may also be celebrants, hospice staff, or even massage therapists. Keep in mind each doula has their own specialty. Some may prefer to work only with advance directives while others may prefer legacy projects, but all are dedicated to supporting their client and community in this transition.

End of Life Doulas are not simply a trend or a fad. Roughly 10,000 people turn 65 each day in the US, so more and more elders—as well as those with life-limiting illness—will need our services. Families are bringing new values, preferences, and opinions that are changing the world of funeral service. They are thinking differently about how they want to honor their loved ones and have new perceptions of the funeral service profession.

Death care is changing rapidly, with ongoing expansion of the industry. There is a demand for change in the way we care for the deceased, both physically and emotionally. Death doulas help bridge the gap between families and death care businesses. Having a death doula is helpful when a family has little experience with death or when they are afraid of confronting death. The death doula can act as a liaison between the family and the funeral home, helping to educate families about the options available to them and easing what can often be a difficult or painful arrangement process.

We offer a variety of services that include helping a person write their own obituary; assisting with legal paperwork, including advance directives, health care proxies, and wills; creating a peaceful, loving atmosphere at death; and, most importantly, providing grief care before, during, and after death of a loved one. Death doulas can help families reduce confusion and mistrust when interacting with death care professionals. Doulas also educate people to know that they have choices. Funeral professionals, including doulas, want loved ones to be able to honor those who have died as much as they were honored in life. We all encourage creating a ceremony and a final resting place that reflects who the deceased was and what they cared for. We ultimately want to bring families and communities into the death space and normalize it.

There are so many benefits that death doulas can provide death care business. We can help obtain earlier referrals and connect the dying to a funeral business. Doula services increase satisfaction which leads to more referrals and reduced intake stress. Connecting with local death doulas can be as simple as a google search because most end-of-life doulas offer a free consultation to help people find the right match. You can also browse through the National End Of Life Doulas Alliance (NEDA) directory to find an End of Life Doula in your area. 

On April 28th I had the pleasure of joining CANA, my Foundation Partners colleagues and two of our partners in an incredibly informative webinar entitled, Meeting Families Where They Are: How to Leverage Cremation Trends to Your Advantage. I was very impressed with the practical and actionable advice and solid tips shared by our presenters.

What I also found interesting was the wide range of cremation experience among the more than 220 CANA members who registered for the event. Nearly 20 percent of registrants are relatively new to the cremation space, with cremation representing less than 25 percent of their current business, while another 18 percent are fully invested in cremation services, which make up more than 85 percent of their business.
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Wherever they fall on the cremation business spectrum, they received valuable takeaways that will help them fine-tune and advance their businesses. And the good news is you can too by viewing a recording of the webinar here. First, however, I wanted to share a few highlights of the session and my take on the lessons learned.

I wholeheartedly agree with Tom’s assessment, which is supported by research showing that ancillary product and service offerings for cremation families represent a massive opportunity for funeral home owners.

The findings he shared about environmental concerns also resonated with me. As managers and owners of funeral service businesses, we need to be keenly aware of this environmental trend and look for ways to weave environmental responsibility into the fabric of our operations. Funeral home owners who recognize and stay ahead of the growing environmental movement will be well-positioned for success.

That’s why we were proud to announce that all cremations across Foundation Partners locations will be carbon neutral this year, thanks to a new carbon offset program we implemented through Terrapass to support projects across North America that reduce carbon in the atmosphere.

We all know that the pandemic has accelerated the flight to online shopping but educating families and selling funeral services online requires a new mindset and a new approach. Angelique Simpson, professional development director for Matthews Aurora Funeral Solutions, offered tips to prepare your teams for the changing demands and expectations of today’s families, and illustrated how your average revenue per contract has the potential to increase when you have an effective online portal. Her advice ranged from why it’s imperative that your staff be knowledgeable in every aspect of your online offering, to making sure that your online platform enlists large clear photo images of all of the best products and services you have to offer.

According to Angelique, the key to successfully advancing your business is investing in your team with professional development. Making the shift from face-to-face family meetings to online chat and telephone communications requires training.

Our own, Foundation Partners experience bears this out. Like most of you, pandemic lock-downs required our teams to make pre-need and at-need arrangements over the phone or online. And state and local restrictions that limited gatherings prompted us to reassess our tools for remote attendance. Updating our e-commerce capabilities and bringing on new remote attendance systems required an efficient operational plan and a huge training effort that reached each of our 160 locations across the country.

At Foundation Partners, we take a three-step approach to rolling out new tools and procedures in our funeral homes: Pilot, Listen and Adapt.

Pilot – We identify offerings that are resonating in the market and test them in select locations. We partner with vendors and have them educate our teams to test new items. And then we incentivize our teams to offer these new products and services to families.

Listen – We ask our funeral home team members for feedback as they present different options to families. What’s working? And what’s not working?

Adapt – As we learn what is and is not resonating with our families, we adapt to meet their needs.

This is something you can do within your locations, regardless of the size of your business.

If you’re thinking about succession planning, now is the perfect time to arrange a complementary, confidential financial analysis with Foundation Partners Group. Click here to request a call or call Jason Widing, our vice president of business development at (503) 200-0605

This year at the CANA convention, I’m proud to cover a new topic on how we all serve our cremation families. As a group, we value the presence of the person and often encourage the family to see their loved one for not only identification purposes, but also because we know that the experience can be valuable in grief processing. We discuss this concept from a “front of the house” perspective often, but what does it mean to our prep room staff?

All of us who are in funeral service and caring for the dead are well aware that they come to us in various conditions. We also know that it is our job to observe these various conditions and prepare them in a way that is suitable for whatever disposition they are going to have. The industry term for preparation without embalming is “minimal care” however, that does not mean our efforts should be minimal. If we consider the most thorough method of preparation embalming, we can use it as our benchmark. However, not everyone gets embalmed, but that doesn’t mean that any preparation we do should not meet the highest level of care that embalming provides.

Those of you who are reading this are likely embalmers (or know embalmers), so you are well aware that embalmers feel very strongly about giving the correct treatment to the deceased in their care. However, what does that actually mean, and how does it apply to preparing someone who is not going to be embalmed?

CLEANLINESS
The first step of any thorough embalming is to bathe the person. Not only do we do this for safety reasons, but also to conduct case analysis (see the next section), and have a better understanding of what we are dealing with.

Embalmers are sometimes told by institutional care staff, death investigators, and even sometimes the family that the condition of the body is worse than it actually is, and a thorough bathing can actually create more of a peace of mind rather than reveal problems.
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During this phase, all medical devices should be removed whether the person is going to be viewed by their family or no one other than the person placing them in the cremation container. We do this for safety in the crematory, because some implants can explode or melt, but also because used medical devices are trash and should be disposed of properly.
A reasonable embalmer removes all of the medical devices they can from a person before presenting them, and if this is our ethical standard of care, then this should be done regardless. You wouldn’t expect a person to be buried with garbage, in fact the idea is repulsive.

CASE ANALYSIS
One of the first things embalmers do when presented with a body is their case analysis. We observe the physical condition of the body in order to decide our strategy for fluid selection, feature setting, and dealing with any possible unknowns that may occur during the embalming such as swelling, purge, etc. But, if we are not embalming, what can we do? In this case, we still observe any pathological or other medical treatment outcomes this person may have. Medical devices should be removed and dealt with, and lesions should be treated appropriately with surface preservation (if allowed), sutured, or wrapped in bandages to prevent leakage.

BEDSIDE MANNER
By definition, embalming is always mutilation, which is one of the reasons we have to receive permission from the family before doing it. However, we embalmers bristle at this idea, because we are not in the business of mutilating people, we are preparing them for the most difficult event in a family’s life. We rectify this more negative perception by always minimizing the number of invasive procedures necessary, and we do so in a way that is careful and surgical.

Believe it or not, embalmers must have a bedside manner even though their patients have no idea how – or even that – they are being treated. We know how they are being treated. When we are preparing an individual who is not going to be embalmed, we always have to consider the technique we are using and recognize what is surgical and what is mutilation.
Further, perhaps one of the reasons a family is choosing not to have someone embalmed is because they do not recognize the care we put into it. Exceptional care of the deceased and proper bedside manner in any invasive procedure is not only ethical but respects the family’s wishes as well.

So now we have established three points on what to set our benchmark at when caring for an individual, but how do we apply this to a more practical manner? Presupposing compliance with all OSHA regulations and Universal and Standard Precautions, as well as observing the family’s wishes, providing minimal care does not mean compromising the quality of your care for their loved one.

To create a basis for our continued conversation on best practices of care, I have created an outline for you to consider. The outline described below is just that, an outline. This list is not meant to define limitations on best practices, but rather create marks on a spectrum.

CLEANLINESS
When it comes to embalming, the word “clean” is often used interchangeably with the word “disinfected.” So how does that apply here? Closely observing and cleaning the person often uncovers medical outcomes such as bedsores or fluid pockets that are the result of the ante mortem or post mortem settling of fluids. Furthermore, moving the body from one side to another will reveal possible purge that may have not been otherwise apparent when the person was lying supine. There are different levels of cleanliness that may be available based on what the family wishes and what is possible based on the condition of the body.

1. Basic disinfection: Basic disinfection procedures should be taken regardless of whether or not a family is planning to view their loved one. This would include the removal of all medical devices and bandages, surface disinfection using a spray, and removal from a soiled container into a clean one.
2. Mid-Level disinfection: This would include all of the above listed steps in addition to bathing the person, including washing their hair. Once the person has been thoroughly dried, it would also include the replacement of bandages over punctures from medical devices, and suturing of any surgical incisions. It would also include the draining of any fluid pockets that have formed. Orifices should be packed with cotton.
3. Thorough disinfection: Thorough disinfection includes all of the above steps, but it would also allow for some chemical preservation. While it may not call for vascular injection of embalming fluids, there is the possibility of surface embalming of any lesions, treatment of drained fluid pockets, the chemical cauterization of any surgical incisions, and the chemical treatment of any artifacts of medical device removal. Cotton for packing orifices can be coated in a topical preservative.

CASE ANALYSIS
When preparing an individual at any level of service, we must consider the techniques we are using and ensure that they are appropriate based on family directions.

When caring for a loved one whose family has requested minimal care, we have to be sure not to be mired in our own hubris, but rather consider if our course of treatment is going to go well for our case. We must also consider our bedside manner matches the wishes of the family; are the procedures we are using in accordance with their wishes? If a family desires to view their loved one prior to disposition, but requests the least invasive techniques possible, do we understand what that means and are we able to execute that? For example, when closing the mouth in this situation, are you using a dental tie as opposed to a needle injector? Are you opting to use cotton to close the eyes as opposed to an eye cap? This is evaluated during case analysis and applied through bedside manner.
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As funeral service purveyors, we are all very cognizant of the importance of the body and how it is honored. Just because a person has chosen not to be embalmed, does not mean we need to negate the philosophy of care that embalming entails. By observing these best practices, we can provide better customer service to our families in the assurance that their loved one will be cared for in a skilled and thoughtful manner.

We may see a time when burial becomes the new cremation – something chosen by only a handful of families. This was the norm for cremation only a few short years ago, and the same could be coming for burial. The trend toward cremation is nothing new, but what are cremation families doing? And what are we offering cremation families to achieve their goals?
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Cremation families who keep their loved one’s cremated remains on display at home are willing participants in selecting merchandise, but scattering families (or the undecided) present a situation that can be vexing for both you and the family. Without a firm plan in place, how can you effectively guide them to a decision that makes sense? Should they even buy an urn, and if so, what type and when?

When an urn is not purchased at time of arrangements, most families receive their loved one’s cremated remains in the plastic “temporary container.” This gray or black plastic box can be presented to a family in a velvet bag, but it is still nothing more than a plastic box. Many cremation families are offered a package that includes a “temporary urn.” They may not be shown an example of a temporary urn and may not realize it is a plastic box, but they know they don’t want an urn from the selection room. Offering a temporary urn in a package is a business decision made by the crematory or funeral home; normally due to cost or necessity. On the other hand, some forward-thinking businesses have chosen to provide a spun bronze or cultured marble base option that can be upgraded or personalized. However, the decision to stick with the bare bones (pun semi-intended) should not be made in haste.
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Of course, the funeral home wants the scattering family to get an urn because it can help pay the bills for the month and it’s also a more dignified choice, but choosing an urn is often the best choice for the family, too.

1. Before scattering, many families have a service of some kind to memorialize the deceased. If the cremated remains will be present for the service (e.g. a ceremonial scattering or memorial service), then a dull plastic box may not be the best option.
2. A family can report that their loved one preferred scattering, but we all know that services and merchandise are for the living. The deceased is no longer here to care. So, when you hear the word “scattering,” do not automatically assume that the family understands what that entails or is choosing a plastic box over an urn. The voice of practicality will say that a simple and disposable plastic box is all that is needed without the knowledge that these can be difficult to open and are not always resealable.
3. Remember that there should be some thought that goes into choosing the container that will hold what is left of a family’s loved one. This is especially true for scattering since the exact date and time of that event is normally set much later. In fact, internal industry research has shown that roughly 80% of families that say they will scatter have not done so by 5 years after the death occurred. This means that if the plastic box was chosen, then it will be sitting on a shelf for some time.

If we assume that a family has not scattered before (yet is planning to scatter their loved one), then they may not fully grasp what is entailed. So you, the funeral director, are just the expert they need. For the scattering families that desire something a little more, there are actually quite a few options that can be presented, for example:

• Asking a family where the scattering will take place is a great question with which to start. If they plan to do it on the water, then many suppliers and vendors now offer biodegradable urns that will actually float, sink, and/or disintegrate. Using one of these will keep the shore winds from blowing grandpa back onto the deck or into the crowd of family members.
• If the urn is to be opened for scattering, then ease of entry will be of great importance to the family. That $1,200 piano wood urn may look pretty, but the family may not want to remove 6 screws and scratch up the bottom before they are able to scatter. A good rule of thumb is to show scattering families urns that can be opened easily. Screw-top and chest urns are great examples.
• Most funeral homes do offer scattering urns, but they can have an inherent flaw that is unnoticed until the scattering occurs: What does the family do with it after they have scattered the cremated remains? This is an opportunity to present the features and benefits of different styles of urns for scattering.
  • A family may not realize it at the time, but the oblong, sliding-top box that they purchased has no purpose to serve after scattering.
  • The benefits of chest urns include attractiveness, utility, and (often) reasonable prices. Many chest urns either come with a plastic container already inside or they will fit the one from your crematory. Using these urns will allow the family to have a presentable container until scattering can take place, and then once it is empty, the chest can be used for a variety of other things, such as mementos of the deceased – old childhood photos, mom’s seashells, vacation matchbooks, dad’s army medals, etc.
  • Psychologically, the empty container can serve as a quasi-replacement for a grave or niche.
    • Obviously the two are quite different, but the positive benefits can be generalized to both. An urn (although empty) that held cremated remains is a tangible and physical reminder of a loved one. It’s an object around which survivors can reminisce and provides that missing link to the cremated remains which are now irretrievable.

In a world where cremation is taking over, we funeral directors need to change our thought process. The revered casket is now being replaced by the once-inglorious urn. Traditionally, picking out a casket was an integral and prominent part of the arrangement conference. This is now transitioning into the selection of an urn, temporary or permanent, for cremated remains. It is essentially the same concept (a vessel that will hold earthly remains) but on a much smaller scale and with nearly endless options. This is where a funeral director’s experienced advice can really be helpful. Scattering families (and those that are undecided but may scatter) often think that they do not need an urn. The passive funeral director will take this as a cue and move on without any more conversation on the topic. The active funeral director will discuss the options available to a scattering family and educate them so that they can make an informed decision.

Some client families may choose cremation because of the price, but that does not mean they want or need a plastic box – even scattering families. A funeral home’s operational success and sustainability will become reliant on the ability to properly offer and promote cremation merchandise and services. One area within the broad umbrella of cremation in which many funeral homes may fall short is with families who intend to scatter. It is easy to dismiss them as simply another family not getting an urn, and then, they in turn are led to that conclusion by the funeral director’s subtle cues and passive approach, but that is a missed opportunity. This is not simply about the bottom line but rather an opportunity to do what you do best – educate your client families and present appropriate options that meet their needs. If done correctly, this can make both sides of the arrangement conference happy.

Yes, some families will still go with the temporary container, but with proper guidance, the curse of the plastic box can be broken.