John Cassavetes once said “Film is, to me, just unimportant. But people are very important.” Gail Rubin’s article, first appearing in The Cremationist in 2015, shows us how we can use movies to get a glimpse into the human experience in all of its variety. The chance to see peoples’ journeys and the many ways they express grief provides us all useful perspective long before they sit at an arrangement table. Lights! Camera! Action! Movies are a great way to teach, learn and tell stories that people remember. Studies indicate most humans are visual learners, so movies are a powerful medium to make a memorable educational impression – especially on touchy topics like death and grief. Movies can be a great way to introduce funeral directors and cremationists, especially those new to the industry, to the diverse reactions that families may exhibit after a loved one dies. When you look at examples from movies, coupled with background information from thanatology – the study of death, dying and bereavement – you can learn about the different ways people express or repress their grief. You can better understand grief responses without fear of offending a client family. Consider these movie scenes and the types of grief they illustrate. ELIZABETHTOWN — INSTRUMENTAL GRIEFDrew, a young man who lives in Oregon (Top 5 in cremation rate), has come to his father’s home town of Elizabethtown, Kentucky (Bottom 5 in cremation rate). Dad had unexpectedly died of a heart attack while visiting family there. Mom instructs Drew to have Dad’s body cremated and return with the remains to Oregon. The family in Kentucky wants to bury Dad in the centuries-old family plot. In one scene, he’s having a phone conversation with Mom in Oregon about the cremation choice. She says, “Honey, I don’t know when I’m going to crash, but as of right now, we are learning about the car, and I’m learning organic cooking, I’m going to tap dance, and later on today, I am going to fix the toilet. It is five minutes at a time.”Drew says, “Mom, I think you need to slow down.” She replies, “Look, everybody tells me that I should take sedatives, but hey, I am out here and I am making things happen. All forward motion counts.” The instrumental grieving style focuses on practical matters and problem solving. Mom is busy, busy, busy – that’s her way to deal with grief. This reaction is not determined by gender, as reported in the book Grieving Beyond Gender: Understanding the Ways Men and Women Mourn by Kenneth Doka and Terry Martin (2010). You might think men are more inclined toward the practical approach, but Doka and Martin found it’s a pretty even split for men and women to experience an instrumental grief reaction. If you see a family member working a list of things to do prior to the funeral, understand that person is likely an instrumental griever. A SINGLE MAN — INTUITIVE GRIEFAt the opening of A Single Man, George, a gay man mired in grief over the death of his partner, wakes up and gets ready for his day. He gets out of bed, showers, shaves, gets dressed, and goes into the kitchen. He narrates his thoughts in this monologue: For the past eight months, waking up has actually hurt. The cold realization that I’m still here sets in. I was never terribly fond of waking up. I was never one to jump out of bed and greet the day with a smile like Jim was…. It takes time in the morning for me to become George…. Looking in the mirror, staring back at me, isn’t so much a face as the expression of a predicament. (Aloud) ‘Just get through the goddamn day.’ A bit melodramatic I guess. But then again, my heart has been broken. I feel as if I’m sinking, drowning, can’t breathe. An intuitive grieving style emphasizes experiencing and expressing emotion. Rather than getting busy with activities that may distract or channel emotional pain and sadness, the intuitive griever is immersed in mourning. While we may think of women as emotional, men are just as likely to embrace this style of grieving, although they may retreat to the privacy of a “man cave” to mourn. Overt sadness, tears and withdrawal in the arrangement conference or at the funeral/memorial service are signs of an intuitive griever. In the film, George is experiencing profound sadness eight months after his partner’s death. While there is no timeline for grieving, at this point, he may be experiencing complicated grief – when deep mourning is unremitting. Addressing complicated grief is best handled by working with a trained grief therapist. Because A Single Man illustrates mourning for a partner in a homosexual relationship, it’s the perfect segue to discuss disenfranchised grief. Disenfranchised grief is “the grief that persons experience when they incur a loss that is not or cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned, or socially supported.” (Kenneth Doka, 1989) While people may be more understanding of mourning the death of a same sex partner now, A Single Man is set in 1962, well before homosexual relationships gained acceptance. Other examples of disenfranchised grief: a mistress unable to publicly mourn the death of or breakup with an illicit lover, mourning other losses, such as jobs, health or friends, or pet owners who are devastated by the loss of a beloved companion animal. THE JANE AUSTEN BOOK CLUB — DISENFRANCHISED GRIEFAt the opening of the film, friends gather for a graveside funeral, complete with a celebrant, flowers and a photo of the deceased. It turns out the funeral is for a woman’s dog. One attendee checks her watch. Others roll their eyes. At the reception afterward, a man says, “Let’s get some perspective here. I mean, do you think if Jocelyn was married with kids she’d be giving her dog a state funeral? This whole thing is warped.” The love of a pet is intense, and with the loss, there is intense grief. Yet, grief over the loss of a pet often does not get the same level of public recognition given for the loss of a person. Mourners may turn to social media sites like Facebook to receive supportive comments from friends. Savvy funeral homes are expanding their services to include sensitive death care to help pet parents. Such services can provide an opening and connection with families that leads to human death care business later on. Other films cover the many faces of grief, including Grief and Past Trauma (The Big Lebowski), Grief and Talking and Repressed Grief (This Is Where I Leave You), Processing Grief (Walk The Line), You Can’t Tell Someone How To Grieve (Six Feet Under), Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ Five Stages (All That Jazz), and Moving Beyond Grief (Gravity). I have a presentation called The Many Faces of Grief: Mourning in the Movies which offers two CEUs through the Academy of Professional Funeral Service Practice and looks into all of these films in-depth to help funeral professionals see different forms of grief on display. Join Gail and CANA in Albuquerque on October 2-4, 2019 to discuss consumer insights she’s gleaned from the increasingly popular Death Cafes and consumer oriented Before I Die Festivals at the first-ever Green Funeral Conference. Learn more and register: goCANA.org/gfc2019
Many funeral directors are facing more and more direct cremations with no services. They are at a loss as to how to overcome that trend. There are many ideas, theories, notions and educated guesses as to why families choose cremation. Cost. Environmental footprint. Control. Convenience. Lack of information. Religious affiliation, or lack thereof. All of those certainly are factors and can play a part in any one person’s decision. So we are going to look at the three Big C’s in Cremation. costI would like to go back in time to the early ‘60s when cremation first came on the profession’s radar, and find that first funeral director who said, “Well, I guess I shouldn’t charge as much for this since I’m not embalming or casketing” and take him out. I’m not a violent person by nature, but really?? That idea got started somewhere and we all just went along with it. Sure, let’s charge less for something that takes just as much time to accomplish, has much more liability, and requires just as much staff involvement. That makes perfect business sense. Within that nonsense also was created the message to families that they were somehow lesser-thans or 2nd class funeral customers. I actually worked for an owner who said to families, “We bury our dead, we burn our trash.” Because we didn’t take these families seriously and did not take their needs for a meaningful funeral service to heart, they left. Why would I pay $8,000 to someone who thinks I’m not as important as the people who buy the box? I can be ignored at the $695 box-and-burn immediate disposer who is more than willing to take my money and do nothing else for me. Families are hiring us to perform a service. If I hire an orthopedist to perform surgery on my shoulder, his price is for the surgery. He doesn’t talk about which instruments he might have to use or the amount of time it might take or how many nurses will have to be in the room. He says, “This is my price to fix your shoulder.” Why can’t we have a price for body preparation? Yes, we’d have to figure out the correct GPL language but we could certainly have more productive conversations with our client families if we didn’t have an if/then/or approach to pricing. controlYes, for a small group of people the cremation choice is made based upon cost. But the large majority are choosing cremation based upon control. These people have attended bad services in their past and are determined that they are not going to go to another one. If I have a burial, then I’m beholden to the funeral director to get the casket from point A to point B and so I’m stuck with whatever service is offered to me. I can’t throw the casket in the back of my car and drive off and arrange a service that fits me. But I can walk out with an urn in my hand and have control over the type of service that I hold. We’ve all been to “bad” services. The cookie-cutter, insert name here, hope someone says the name correctly, impersonal ritual that offers nothing about the person and what his death will mean to those mourning his loss. Every time one of these boring, hurtful or meaningless services occurs, another immediate disposition/no service is created. People say “When I die, don’t do that!” Cremation offers a choice, a sense of control over what happens in a memorial service. Does that mean that most are held at someone’s house or at a bar or a restaurant with toasts and stories? Probably. Does that mean that the value of having a gathering that celebrates the life and explores the grief and provides a guidepost for mourning the loss is lost? Definitely. STORY 1 Once I served as a Celebrant for an 80 year-old-man who died of suicide. It was a difficult service, but we honored his life and talked about the depression over health issues that caused him to make such a choice. We discussed what the grief journey was going to look like for those who were trying to make sense of the death. We encouraged the standing room only crowd to be an integral part of the family’s next steps as they turned tears into memories. It was a pretty good service. That afternoon I received an email from a woman who was in attendance begging me for a copy of the service. This lady tracked me down and said she needed a copy of my words. So, I asked the family for permission and I sent her a copy. Her backstory was this—her son died of a heroin overdose and her daughter, his twin, died of suicide four years before. They did not have funerals either time. They cremated, then met at a restaurant and told stories. They did not trust that someone could handle such delicate and hard situations, so they just avoided. She needed those words to help her on her own grief journey. This happens hundreds of times across the country to our Celebrants. Because the celebrant is a ceremony expert, focused solely on the ceremony and often devoting much more time to the ceremony than funeral directors and clergy can, the celebrant can be a tremendous resource. What celebrants offer can even be attractive to those who initially think they don’t want a ceremony at all. —Diane Gansauer, Director of Celebrant Services, SCI Colorado Funeral Services in Metro Denver Until we change the service experience for those families, they will continue to walk away. Our pricing, our lovely chapels, our offers of assistance—they’ve been there and done that and don’t trust us to be able to do something that is meaningful. Which brings us to the final C: celebrantsMy bedrock message is “Celebrants can change your business, Celebrants can change your families, Celebrants can bring your cremation families back to your firm.” The religious landscape of our country is changing. The percentage of people who identify as a “None”—not religiously affiliated, not engaged with a church—is rapidly growing. Statistics from the Pew Research report show that almost 25% of the overall population now considers themselves “nones” and over 35% of millennials are disenfranchised with religious experiences. This has incredible implications for funeral service. Some funerals homes have stained glass windows, Bibles in the foyer, hymns on the speakers and scriptures on their websites. There is nothing wrong with having an ability to serve your religious families, but today anywhere from 25% to 80% of your community does not identify or resonate with those representations. If all you have to offer is a minister and a religious experience, they are going elsewhere. High “nones” equal high cremation rates. It’s just that simple. The greatest impact a Celebrant can have with a family is the one on one interview time, an opportunity to sit down and become part of the decedent’s family, by hearing and learning first-hand about the life of their loved one, and sharing a personal glimpse into the life of the decedent with friends and family at the funeral service. That is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give to the family. Out of that experience comes the most gracious of compliments that you will ever receive, which is to hear at the conclusion of the service how well you knew the loved one. The Celebrant experience gives you that opportunity to serve the family in ways you may have never dreamed possible. —Kevin Hull, Vice President and Location Manager, Cook-Walden Davis Funeral Home Celebrants are the answer for a majority of your cremation families. So many of them are not offered any options by their funeral professional. So, they either opt for the rent-a-minister or do nothing. Another immediate disposition walks out of the door. When someone attends a service where every word of the service is focused on the life, on the family, and on the grief experience, their decisions can change significantly. “Oh. . .we can have this kind of service? Then I’m willing to talk to the funeral director about paying for THAT” Over 50% of the services I perform through referrals from funeral homes in my city come from someone who attended another service and came back and asked for that Celebrant. People pay for value. People pay for meaning. People pay for gatherings that heal. My friend, Ernie Heffner from York, PA, ran numbers on his Celebrant services and found that cremation families who used a Celebrant spent 36% more on other goods and services. It’s not about the money. It’s about the value, the experience, the assurance that someone is going to hear their stories, to honor the life and work with them to put together a service that fits them. People pay for meaning. STORY 2 I did a service for a man in his 40’s who drank himself to death. He left an estranged wife, a 19 year old daughter, 18 year old son, and a brother who was a recovering alcoholic himself. This meant two hours of slogging through a lot of baggage and feelings to get to the stories and to give them permission to say what was needed. But we put together a service that honored his life while being honest about his struggles and his demons. After the service, the brother handed me a thank you card with $300 in it. The funeral home had already given me a check for my Celebrant fee of $400. I said, “Oh, you’ve already paid me.” He said, “Please just take it.” The card read “Thank you for performing J’s service and I especially thank you for the time you spent with us Sunday evening. I’m hoping it provided as much healing to the others as it did for me. Thank you.” People pay for healing gatherings. In today’s world, the most crucial element in helping a family lies in the ability of the Celebrant to actively listen and recreate what they have heard into something with meaning and value. Celebrant Training is funeral service’s best option to develop the skills to become an outstanding funeral professional. At our firm, all of our funeral directors must go through the Celebrant Training so they can understand the importance and value of working with our Celebrants to help the families have a truly outstanding experience. This is especially important for cremation families that are looking for something other than traditional services. Celebrant Services play a major role in making Krause Funeral Homes a place of exceptional funerals. —Mark Krause, President Krause Funeral Homes & Cremation Service We’ve been saying this since 1999: Families need a service to begin their grief journey in a healthy and honest way. Unless we are willing to provide the professionals and the services that they are looking for, they are going to walk away. When families have options, funeral homes are going to lose every time unless their option is better, more appealing and soul touching. Looking at everything we do when it comes to serving the cremation family—pricing, style of service, presentation of choices, availability to Celebrants who can do exactly what the family wants and needs – is the only way that full-service funeral professionals are going to stay in business. How we deal with all of the C words will determine how much farther down the road we get to travel. CANA is partnering with Glenda Stansbury and the InSight Institute for the second time this July to offer Celebrant Training. Limited to 40 attendees, this course packs a lot of information, emotion, and training into three days but is increasingly considered a must for the most successful businesses in the US. Learn more about this class coming to Louisville, Kentucky from July 29-31 and register online.
Conflict. Confusion. Controversy. Crisis. Those are NOT the 4 C’s of effective messaging. Instead, those often are the negative ramifications of poor key message development. Think about nearly any life situation where there is conflict, confusion, controversy or crisis. Nearly every time, one root of the problem is failure to communicate important information. We’ve all seen the results of bad messaging. People misunderstand a public policy because the explanation is laced with complex jargon understood only inside the Capitol building. Or, the reputation of a person or institution becomes woefully out of date because no one has made time to refresh the words they use to describe themselves. Often, bad messaging thwarts success when it comes to public awareness and reputation management. A fundamental component of any communications campaign is crafting effective key messages that support the organization’s overall goals and accurately convey information to the most important audiences. Simple, but far from easy to do. The four C’s of effective messaging are:
clearSimple, non-ambiguous terms are best. The faster you make the main point, the better. And, if you can inspire the listener to imagine a mental picture of exactly what you have in mind, that’s fantastic. Consider President John F. Kennedy’s speech to Congress on May 25, 1961: “First, I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the Earth.” The immediate reaction to most must have been, “Wow!” And, to this day, Americans remember that it was Kennedy who proclaimed the United States would put an astronaut on the moon… and then in 1969 we did. Think about how scientific jargon and bureaucratic language could have killed the inspiration of the moment if they’d crept in. What if the President’s speech had led with a recitation of complicated technological advances that would make space travel better? What if he’d talked for five minutes about metals, plastics, thermodynamics and aerodynamics? What if he’d waited until the end to mention that a human being would walk on the moon – and then come back to Earth? Highlight the gold nuggets of your messages distinctly and right away. chosenEmploy well-chosen words and phrases that are unique to your organization, are memorable and distinguish you from others. You don’t want to sound like everyone else. So, identify words and phrases that are pinpoint-accurate, novel, and best describe you, yet are terms that your competition absolutely cannot use. Curate a collection of the most alluring words possible that stay true to your mission and purpose. Avoid the generic. After facilitating countless messaging sessions for clients over the years, I can assure you that everyone is promising “high quality” products and services, “providing outstanding service,” and “excellence.” So many call themselves “the premier” organization in their field (some spell it “premiere,” but that’s a different conversation). And, it seems that every other organization will guarantee you they’re making an “impact,” helping you achieve “impact,” or even more cringe-worthy, they’re “impactful.” Transform those overused words into bigger, aspirational ideas. Dare to be fresh and shake up the status quo. Well-chosen words also help you build and maintain credibility. If you’ve adopted messages that are true and unique to your organization, people will understand and believe what makes you special. You want to use charismatic words in a balanced way, so they convey enthusiasm without hyperbole and support credibility at the same time. conciseUse fewer words. The best key message sentences are short and pithy, packed with powerful words that speak for themselves. Concise language and writing always win the day. In today’s “click, click, click” world, it’s even more imperative to speak and write in shorter, more interesting sentences. A “No Trespassing” sign is concise and clear, and the treacherous dune cliff behind the sign is consistent with the message. Resist the urge to use a whole paragraph to explain each key message sentence. If the key message needs explaining, it’s not an effective key message sentence. Start over. Simplify. Break it up. Go back to your mission statement. Think about what a 30,000-foot view would look like. What is the one, simple point you need to make? Re-write the key message. Repeat with other key messages. Boiling down the essence of an organization to three to five key messages is an ideal way to start. Organizations that communicate best do this. Those three to five key messages need to stand on their own with no propping up and no footnotes. Every organization can do this. Again, it’s simple, but not easy. To some, three to five key messages may seem too constricting. Keep in mind that once you’ve crafted those overall messages, you may choose to write supporting key messages. However, those supporting messages are reserved for use only in situations where your audience – not you – wants more detail and supplementary information. Don’t foist unwanted words on people you are trying to engage. Be ready for them to tell you that they want more. Your supporting key messages also must use clear, concise and well-chosen language. consistentWhether you are the leader of a corporation, a nonprofit, an association or the United States of America, it’s your responsibility to ensure consistency of message. You and everyone else who speaks or writes on behalf of your organization must use your organization’s painstakingly-crafted key messages every time. This consistency underpins credibility and builds staying power in brand identity and reputation. Message consistency also is paramount in internal communications and is a lynchpin of healthy corporate culture. I’m not endorsing robot-like recitation of scripts. Instead, the goal is that all communications use the key words and phrases of the organization. This leaves room for each speaker to adapt the key messages to his or her speaking style. And, it allows people to write about the key messages in ways that are consistent with the overall meaning. Organizations that communicate best ensure that all representatives know the key messages and are well-practiced in conveying them. This starts with board members who spend time internalizing key messages, so they can present them to internal and external audiences to advance the goals of the organization. It continues with rigorous training for executive leaders and communications professionals whose jobs require them to define and explain the organization every day. And, many organizations ensure that every front-line professional is well-versed in key messages, so all of them can handle workplace situations in ways that support organizational goals and culture. chestnutsWe PR types always preach that consistent messages and repetition are the hallmarks of effective communications. But can being consistent and repeating a key message become tired and boring? How do you keep messages fresh and vital while still repeating them so that your intended audiences remember your main points? How do you strike a balance between repetition that builds strong brand recognition and repetition that makes your story so stale that people say, “Oh, no, not THAT again?” It boils down to one communications rule that may be more sacred than staying consistent with messages: Know your audience. It’s always about the audience first. The best communicators formulate what they’re going to say based on their audience’s needs. Why should this group care about what I want to tell them? What’s in it for them? What words and anecdotes will best resonate with them? The way I perceive the situation is less important than how the audience will receive it, so how do I immediately hook their interest in my topic? If I tell the old chestnut story again, will this audience relish it or disdain me? Answering those questions before you open your mouth will make your key messages fresh and tailored to the audience and prevent you from boring them with old chestnuts. SORT AND BALANCE THE CHESTNUTS AND MESSAGES The audience’s appetite determines whether your story is a luscious treat or a stale old chestnut. Before you address a group, understand their point of view and tailor your consistent messages to the audience’s needs. If they hunger for chestnuts, go ahead and tell those old stories that resonate best with them. If not, stay with the consistent key messages, freshened up. This post is excerpted from Kathy Schaeffer Consulting, LLC blog posts: Chestnut or Consistent Message? (August 14, 2018) and 4 C’s of Effective Messaging (April 11, 2018). You can read these and more recommendations for public relations strategies including public speaking, persuasive writing, and communications on their publicly available blog: https://www.ksapr.com/blog/. Public relations activities help you build a positive reputation and educate important audiences in your community long before members of those audiences need your company’s services, and long before you need their support, such as for plans to build a crematory in your community or expand your operations. The CANA PR Toolkit, developed with professional PR firm Kathy Schaeffer Consulting, LLC, is designed to help you craft your PR strategy to grow your reputation and educate your community. This exclusive member benefit is available online and on-demand, whenever you need it most.
Today’s consumers foster inherent skepticism toward traditional advertising. Instead, they prefer and rely on recommendations from people they know and trust. To effectively reach these consumers, you need brand advocates – individuals who have first-hand knowledge of your funeral home and can share their positive experiences through word-of-mouth referrals. Your brand advocates are well placed to offer credible recommendations to their peers. They sing your praises to others in the community without incentives like coupons, discounts or special offers. They do it because you have earned it, and they are often your most effective recruiters, a compelling blend of advocacy and authenticity. The most successful funeral businesses rely on word-of-mouth recommendations and testimonials to increase brand awareness in their community. But to truly capitalize on this valuable pool of promoters, you need to know how to identify and mobilize your brand advocates. how do you identify brand advocates?The most obvious place to look for brand advocates is among your client families. These individuals are well acquainted with your goods and services because they’ve experienced them firsthand. This makes them valuable sources of information about your business. However, not every customer makes an effective brand advocate. To ensure you’re focusing your attention on those individuals who are going to have the most impact on your business, you should identify customers who have had memorable and rich experiences with your funeral home. Storytelling is an essential part of word-of-mouth recommendations for funeral businesses. No one truly wants to shop for a funeral – caskets, vaults, urns and monuments are not fun to buy. Very few people are going to be compelled to use your services because they hear you have an impressive collection of 18-gauge steel caskets. Instead, they respond to story-based recommendations that describe experiences and emotions. And the most effective stories are the memorable ones – the ones that get told and retold from person to person. My family recently experienced two losses that illustrate the importance of memorable services. When my grandmother passed away, we planned what many of us think of as a “traditional” service: an immediate cremation followed by a visitation for friends and community members, a memorial service at the local church, a lunch reception at the community center and a short graveside service at the Veterans cemetery. While the day was certainly meaningful for my family, it was not necessarily memorable to those who attended. When my cousin died a year later, we planned a very different service. We held the funeral in the high school gymnasium, with his name lit up on the scoreboard above a red bowtie – his favorite accessory. Every member of his graduating class wore bowties, even some of his coaches. During the service, dozens of teachers and friends shared stories, some sweet, others funny – all memorable. The luncheon afterward was even catered by his favorite barbecue restaurant. His service was memorable – so much so that many in the community are still talking about it three years later. Consider the last 10 services you performed at your funeral home. How many of them were truly memorable? Can you picture attendees sharing stories from the service with their friends and relatives? Will people still be talking about that experience a year from now? Two years? Ten? If you’re not sure, you likely need to spend some time working with your staff on creative memorialization and personalization so that each and every family leaves your funeral home with a memorable experience that they are excited to share with everyone they know. When looking for brand advocates, you should also consider the breadth of experience a family has had with your business. Someone who selected direct cremation is unlikely to have much to say about your funeral home – good or bad. They simply haven’t had much exposure to you or your business. On the other hand, consider the credibility and influence of an individual who met with you in a prearrangement setting for their spouse; interacted with your staff at the first viewing, visitation and memorial service; took advantage of your aftercare efforts; and then returned to plan and fund their own funeral. A customer who has this kind of rich experience with you and your staff is much more likely to be a loyal, informed advocate for your business. HOW CAN YOU MOBILIZE BRAND ADVOCATES?Unfortunately, identifying your most effective brand advocates is the easy part. Learning to motivate and deploy them effectively is much more difficult. To mobilize your brand advocates, you first need to build and nurture meaningful relationships with them. This first part is likely something that already comes naturally to you – after all, you work in a relational profession. You likely know many of your client families before they come in for an arrangement conference, and if not, you are skilled at establishing a connection with them within a few minutes of meeting. However, it’s just as important to continue to foster those relationships long after the immediate need has passed. There are few tangible ways to do this. First, take advantage of as many fact-to-face interactions as you can. That means dropping off paperwork at a widow’s home instead of mailing it, offering to transport flowers to the family’s home so they don’t have to pack them into their station wagon, and taking time to greet your customers whenever you see them out in the community. You may even consider calling the surviving spouse three or four weeks after the service just to check in, or taking them out for coffee so they have something to look forward to once all their friends have stopped calling and visiting. You should also leverage opportunities to continue to provide service to families through your existing aftercare. Make sure every family knows what’s available – newsletters, emails, grief support groups, etc. Let them know why they’re important and offer to connect them with others who have found value in participating in those programs. Whenever you have events at your funeral home, like open houses, memorial services or holiday events, make sure you invite your brand advocates. Attending provides them with more exposure to your business and gives them one more thing to talk about with their friends and relatives. The last – and most important – step in mobilizing brand advocates is asking your client families for referrals. This is often an uncomfortable thing for funeral professionals to do, but it’s a key part of leveraging brand advocates to promote your business. Often, customers who have had great experiences with your business are already inclined to promote you in their communities, but it’s still a good idea to remind them that it’s a valuable thing for them to do. When you ask for referrals, make sure you incorporate three things:
This year’s Symposium will be our best yet. The committee and staff selected the theme, Connecting the Dots, to help attendees find success by combining critical elements of running a business into one comprehensive strategy. From beginning to end, we’ll build on the content presented, wrapping with a big picture view of how it all fits together. In brief: The foundation comes from establishing and understanding the power of your story. From there, tell that story though your brand advocates or key staff and community members. Their online reviews leverage your position to improve your online reputation and get found. Once you have their attention, keep it by transforming their interactions with you into something memorable, especially with the addition of a therapy dog. But none of this can succeed without evaluating these individual steps and making changes for continuous improvement. We are so excited to bring these experts together for you in Vegas, we know you’re going to love it! This event took the work of many people. Here’s what CANA’s Symposium committee members are excited about, and why you need to register now to join us at this remarkable event. ![]() Jennifer Head, CANA Education Director – I’m most excited for our Keynote Speaker, Kelly Swanson. Not only is she an award-winning storyteller who can take you right to the heart of a problem, she’s hilarious! Her message on crafting the right story is so critical for our industry right now. As I attended a presentation given by a different storytelling expert, I watched how, in a matter of minutes, she transformed a story that did nothing emotionally to one that tugged at my heartstrings and made me happy to buy. That’s how you create brand advocates- people who tell your story for you. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about you. It’s about them. And you have to let them know that through your story. Don’t believe me? Let Kelly explain it to you at the Symposium. She’ll present two dynamic sessions at the conference, and whether you own a business or work for one, whether you are a practitioner or supplier, her message will resonate with you. I promise. ![]() Lindsey Ballard, Ballard-Sunder Funeral & Cremation – Our committee considers many options when selecting a hotel, and we’re excited to be returning to the Paris for a second year. The Paris Las Vegas Hotel is such a wonderful place to be when you're in Vegas. It's visually stunning, loaded with restaurants and entertainment, and the central location on the famed strip can't be beat. Our meeting rooms for the symposium are beautiful and provide the perfect ambience for our event. Of course, I’m really looking forward to the Therapy Pet panel presentation. My dog Fletcher has been going through training to become a therapy dog at our funeral home, and I’ve learned a lot over the last year. He won’t be coming, but I have lots of pictures! Fellow committee member Robert Hunsaker as well as CANA member J.P. Di Troia will join me as we share our therapy dog journeys with you and provide some guidance about adding one to your team. We’ll also host one of the roundtables during the Coffee Klatch. I hope to see you there! ![]() Sheri Stahl, The Island Funeral Home & Crematory – While CANA focuses on providing quality programming and exhibits, we also know that Vegas is the entertainment capital of the world. We like to end our evenings early, so you can continue the networking on your own as you go out and enjoy all that Glitter Gulch has to offer. Whether you hit the tables and slots, take in a show, or enjoy the variety of cuisine (and famous buffets), Las Vegas has something for everyone. And if you can’t decide, you can stay in and enjoy all that Paris has to offer. Personally, I can't wait to see all my CANA peeps! ![]() Scott MacKenzie, MacKenzie Vault, Inc. – As supplier liaison for the CANA board and chair of the committee, my focus is usually on the exhibits. We have over 40 exhibitors committed to supporting you the same way you support families who choose cremation. CANA’s Symposium is the best place to learn about new cremation products and services. Vendors from almost every area – technology, products, supplies, equipment, personalization and more – will be on-hand to show you what’s new and talk about what families are asking for as the personalization and DIY trend continues to grow. Your vendors are your best partners as your businesses continue to evolve to meet the demands of an ever-changing industry. ![]() Barbara Kemmis, CANA Executive Director – And don’t forget, just for owners and managers, a new kind of event! The Art of Selling Cremation: A Preneed Summit This one-day, highly interactive workshop places you with marketers and experienced providers to answer your questions and find new solutions to your preneed challenges. We have experts on using demographic data and targeting the right markets, advice on selling value over price with the staff you have or specialists, and stories from experience on administering and selling across multiple brands online and in-person. We’re excited to see the discussions that emerge. Limited spots available, register now! Join us for fun and quality professional development February 6-8 at CANA's 2018 Cremation Symposium! Register today.
my grandmother's funeralFive years ago we buried my grandmother, a deliciously bold woman who lived life on her own terms. I was her favorite, or so she said. I’m pretty sure it’s true. Everything that makes me weird (which I consider a blessing, by the way) came from my grandmother. I miss her smile, her warm hands that smelled of buttermilk biscuits, and her green beans that would leave a sheen of lard gloss on your lips for weeks. I had the honor of delivering her eulogy being the only professional speaker in the family. (Yes, Aunt Myrtle, it is a real job.) As I stood at the podium, trying to sum up this woman’s 88 years on earth in 25 minutes, I looked around and realized that this was all wrong. None of this was what she would have wanted. The setting wasn’t right. The music was all wrong. People were bored. I’m pretty sure even Granny had stopped listening hours ago. A stuffy room with plastic mauve flowers, green shag carpeting, and faded watercolor prints – well, it wasn’t my grandmother. She deserved something more than that. Something more to honor the fact that she was here. Something as unique as she was, to close out her chapter on earth. I found it ironic that we had spent a year planning my cousin Nadine’s wedding and a day planning my grandmother’s funeral. I had loved my grandmother for 47 years. Nadine’s marriage didn’t last six months. After Granny’s service, a group of us sat around the fire in the lobby of the hotel sharing stories that made us laugh and cry, stories about the woman we knew and the woman we would miss. I’m pretty sure Granny was there the entire time, laughing harder than any of us. At some point we stumbled into a conversation about how we wanted our own funerals to be. The typical kind of conversation that happens when death stops your normal routine and makes you face your own mortality. We all described our most important last wishes ranging from “nothing fancy,” to “please put me in this dress,” to “sprinkle me across the lake behind the mountain cabin and make sure it’s not windy that day so my ashes don’t go flying back into your face.” I made it quite clear that I wanted a big turnout, with lots of music (a roaming harpist would be nice) and some professional wailers, just to make sure everybody is certain of how much I will be missed. I want high drama. Standing room only, heavy hors d’oeuvres, and please show clips from my best speeches. Make sure they give me a standing ovation, and you can probably sell some of my books in the back. Hey, what can I say? I’m a motivational speaker. It’s what we do. My ability to make people laugh, inspire them, move them, teach them, change their perspective and heal their heart, has never been about the points I teach, but the stories I tell. My entire career and every amazing door that has opened, was opened because of my ability to tell a good story. No amount of data or information can impact on an emotional level like a story can. Master that skill and you can master any job. Kelly Swanson As I sat there listening to the stories, I saw how passionate people were about how they wanted to be ushered out of this world – how they wanted their story to end. Each story was as unique as its author. The funeral home did everything they said they would do for my granny. It was a perfectly nice service. They did all the right things. And yet, I’m pretty sure that not one person in that room will seek them out in the future. Why? Because the funeral home told the wrong story. why story matters to your businessMarketing is no longer about the stuff that you make, but about the stories you tell. Seth Godin Hello CANA. Kelly Swanson here. I’m a motivational speaker and a comedian, which means I tell you that you can do anything and then I tell you I’m just kidding. I’m delighted and honored to be spending time with you at your 2018 Symposium as your keynote speaker and strategic storytelling expert. I’m even more delighted that I get this opportunity today to say a few words about a subject I have been studying my whole life – storytelling. There’s no question about it, no matter what our industry, we are all fighting for business in a crowded market – to get customers and keep them, to get our employees to do more with less and be happier doing it, to convince our buyer of a need they don’t realize they have, to be stronger leaders crafting a lasting legacy, and to keep our business relevant in the face of constant change and uncertainty. And, in your case, trying to make a lasting impression when often you are the last thing on their mind. Wow. No wonder we’re stressed. I’ve faced these issues in my own business and so have hundreds of other audiences I’ve visited over the years. All of these issues have one thing in common – influencing people. Yep. Getting people to do what we want them to do. No matter how much the playground changes, the game hasn’t. Our business success is in direct correlation to how well we influence people. The ability to articulate your story or that of your company is crucial to almost every phase of enterprise management. It works all along the business food chain. A great salesperson knows how to tell a story in which the product is the hero. A successful line manager can rally the team to extraordinary efforts through a story that shows how short-term sacrifice leads to long-term success. An effective CEO uses an emotional narrative about the company’s mission to attract investors and partners, to set lofty goals, and to inspire employees. Sometimes a well-crafted story can even transform a seemingly hopeless situation into an unexpected triumph. Peter Guber, author, American film producer & executive and Chairman and CEO of Mandalay Entertainment, from HR Magazine September (2008) The way I see it, we are all sales people. Like it or not, we are trying to influence people all day long – whether it’s to get someone to date us, hire us, do business with us, trust us, give money to us, or simply getting our kid to clean up his room. We’re all in the business of persuasion. Every person who works in your company has the ability and opportunity to influence someone else – to affect the brand, the mood, and the culture of the business. Many of us already understand that. But where some of us miss the boat, is the next step…understanding that influence is emotional. I’ll explain the science behind all of this to you when I get there, so let’s skip right to the thing you need to know most: If influence is like sales, then the cardinal rule of sales applies – that people buy from people they like, trust, believe, and feel like they know. Like. Trust. Believe. Know. Take a look at those words. Those words have nothing to do with what you make people think and everything to do with how you make people feel – about you, your brand, and themselves. People buy based on emotion but many of us don’t get there. We stay on the surface. We miss that deeper opportunity to go beyond communicating to connecting. Authentic connection is the key strategy in business today. No matter what you’re selling, where you’re selling it, or how you’re getting the message out – giving them the facts alone doesn’t work. It’s the reason why some win and some lose without ever understanding why. don't believe me, ask aroundI’ve been polling people in every audience where I speak. I just spoke for a college admissions group so I polled parents and students who’ve been on recent college tours. My goal? To find out why they chose the one they chose. I’ve polled buyers of healthcare, insurance, beauty products, financial planners, attorneys – you name it – and while they were all looking for something different, their reason for choosing who they did were consistently the same. They chose the one they connected with emotionally. As soon as I found out I would be speaking for you, I conducted another survey with my social media groups about you: your businesses and the services they’d experienced there. I gathered their stories and studied the reasons some were happy and some weren’t. Again – it was all about connection. That’s what we’re going to talk about when I come visit. I’m going to share with you the best (and perhaps only) tool that will connect with anybody you want to influence – STORY. ![]() Many businesses have already figured out the value of strategic storytelling, or at least they think they do. But they are still not connecting with their buyer. Why? First, because they don’t really know what a story is – how to craft it and how to use the tool to get a desired effect. They’re basically just telling stories because someone told them they should. Many people talk about storytelling, but few can really teach it. Second, many businesses are telling the wrong story or, at the very least, an unfinished story. You may think it’s just about telling the world your story. But it’s not. There are actually three stories you should be telling. That’s enough for you to chew on today. If you understand why connection matters over communication, you’ve got enough to think about. The next step is how to use story to do it. We’ll go deeper into it later – my six secrets to connecting and my story formula to help you craft stories that convince and persuade – at CANA’s 2018 Cremation Symposium. Just remember this: No matter how technologically advanced we get, or how much the playground changes and shifts quickly under our feet, the truth still remains the same – this is a people business. It’s about relationships. It’s about creating authentic connections. Focus on that, and the rest will fall into place. Want to read some more articles or continue the conversation? Find me on LinkedIn. I can’t wait to meet you at convention and swap stories. Buckle up, because it’s going to be an exciting ride! ![]() Join Kelly and CANA at the 2018 Cremation Symposium to learn how you can set your business and yourself apart with the power of storytelling. Register soon for your chance to be in the “hot seat” and develop your story live, onstage with Kelly Swanson! Sponsored by Batesville. Connect the Dots with us, February 6-8 at Paris Las Vegas at the 2018 Cremation Symposium. ![]() Kelly Swanson is an award-winning storyteller, motivational speaker, comedian, expert guest on The Fashion Hero TV show, author of Who Hijacked My Fairy Tale and The Story Formula, and a strategic storytelling expert. In addition to making people laugh, motivating them, and helping them tap into the passion and purpose for what they do and why it matters, she teaches them how to use story to raise their level of influence. She is a keynote speaker and workshop presenter at the 2018 CANA Symposium. www.MotivationalSpeakerKellySwanson.com |
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