Early on in my career a mentor of mine said these words to me when I was dealing with some challenges associated with a family we were serving: “It takes all kinds to make the world go round.” I was still fairly new to the funeral service scene and hadn’t experienced the joys of dealing with families that didn't agree or get along very well. This phrase stuck with me all these years and seems perfectly fitted to where our great big crazy funeral service world is these days—or maybe just the world in general. Yet, in many ways I also feel like we have somehow missed the mark in funeral service insofar as actually “seeing” how diverse our profession really is, both internally and related to the families we serve.

You’d be hard pressed to find a funeral director who will tell you that they’ve seen it all. Most agree that no matter how long your career in funeral service may be, you will simply not see everything. I have to say that over these last couple of years, we as funeral service professionals have seen and experienced things that we never thought we would. If recent times have taught us anything, it’s that changing our ways may not have the downside we anticipated.

One of the changes that has been most profound for me has been witnessing firsthand how much more diverse our profession and our clientele are—more so than I had ever realized before. As we enter Pride Month 2022, I’m humbled to say that I have made a small contribution to the long-overdue conversation about bringing more visibility to the LGBTQ+ Community. We need to do this within the funeral service profession while also helping our colleagues learn how to serve our community better. My experience has confirmed that we, as funeral and cremation service providers, must become better attuned to the diversity both in each other and in our clients—which is often staring us right in the face.

Diversity, Equity and Inclusion have generated quite the buzz across many industries of late. And while this recognition is long overdue, it’s clearly here to stay. How will this change the way we provide funeral and cremation services to our families and embrace all employees?

Here are a few thoughts:

If I had a nickel for every time my mother said these very words to me as I grew into a—well let’s say “challenging” adolescent—I would be a wealthy man! But, when you stop and think about it, how we speak to our families and to our fellow employees can be way more impactful than we imagine.

Many years ago, I encountered a situation where a family did not want to mention the partner of one of the deceased’s children in the obituary. That son, by the way, was sitting at the same table as his siblings to make funeral arrangements for their mom. The family felt that it would be awkward to mention his partner since the couple wasn’t married—despite the fact that gay marriage wasn’t even an option at the time. Although it took some effort to contain myself, I assured his siblings that we could and should list anyone who is important to the deceased or her family.

This intervention brought some resolution to the situation while also validating the relationship between the son and his partner. I’ll never forget it.

We should choose our words carefully and, even more importantly, be cognizant of the way we deliver those words. What we say and how we say it to a family could change the trajectory of their entire experience with us, for better or for worse. I hope that son, and his whole family, took my words to heart that day and valued every member of their family.

Today’s families want and need to know what their options are. They want time to make decisions, and they certainly don’t want to feel that they are being spoken down to. We never want them to question if there were other options available after the fact and so must offer them everything from the beginning. So, take a little extra time to think about what you say before you say it, and carve out a little time after serving a family to reflect on what went well, or not so well, and find ways to improve for next time.

When it comes to the workplace, the same concept easily applies. We must have the same sensitivity to the words we say and how we say them when interacting with fellow employees. Fostering an inclusive work environment where diversity is celebrated and not ignored means educating ourselves on inclusive language to accommodate the backgrounds and cultures of our teammates. It does no good for morale for even one single employee to feel discriminated against or  marginalized as less than their colleagues because of their differences. In a profession where compassion and empathy are key to success, it shouldn’t be too challenging to nurture a work environment where all feel included and embraced.

Of all the musicals I had an opportunity to perform in during my high school days, Fiddler on the Roof was by far my favorite. (A video is available to those interested, but I digress.) The crux of the show is the concept of tradition and the struggles that often go along with watching the traditions we have known our whole lives begin to change. In our profession, we often use the term “Traditional Funeral;” however I’ve tried to get away from that because, with over 15 years in this business, it’s been my first-hand experience that just one tradition simply doesn’t exist (and perhaps never really did).

There are numerous customs and traditions associated with everything from the mode of final disposition to how the deceased is memorialized. Throwing the word “tradition” around too much may alienate families that feel self-conscious for not conforming to what funeral professionals  view as traditional. Especially as cremation continues to become more prevalent than ever before, let’s reassure our families that “tradition” is whatever they want to make it and make sure we honor those traditions, whether they match our ideas or not.

I’ll never forget when I offered to have a couple of classic cars parked outside the funeral home during visitation for a family I was working with. This was not a groundbreaking idea by any means, but for them it instantly made them feel seen. They felt that their husband and father, who LOVED working on classic cars, was more than just another person we were caring for and that his life mattered. Perhaps having some hot rods at the funeral home wasn’t what they envisioned as “traditional,” but it certainly was the best fit for them.

If the pandemic has taught us anything it’s that a good shake up in the funeral service industry may have been long overdue. We turned on a dime to respond to the need for offering our families more technology than ever—and were able to provide never-seen-before products and services. We have begun to better recognize that the demographics of funeral service professionals are changing rapidly and that more and more so-called “first generation” funeral professionals are taking on ownership roles within the profession. We simply have to realize that times, they are a-changin’ and we better get on board before it’s too late.

We may not know exactly where we’ll land, but we need to be creative and open to offering today’s families what they’re looking for. We don’t need to make everything up as we go along, but sometimes the best ideas on how to give pause to a loss and pay proper tribute to a life lived come from the places we least expect. My hope is that we end up in a funeral service world where we don’t grasp too firmly to the concept of “This is how we’ve always done it” but rather “Let’s try it.”

Diversity in our workplaces and in the wants and needs of the families we serve each day is quickly earning a front row seat in our profession. A thoughtful and sensitive response is essential to our success. So, do a little homework on diversity, equity, and inclusion and see how you can incorporate it into your world. And by the way, happy Pride.

What is the true definition of culture and why is it important in business and our profession?
The dictionary defines culture as a collection of behaviors and beliefs associated with a particular group. It is also the quality of a person or group of people that comes from appreciating excellence.

As an owner since 1989, after reading Dr. Gustavo’s book, I began to realize that our company culture was not effective and that it was upside down. I had been raised and always thought that our customers were our most important asset and that we should do everything to make them our #1 priority.  I had a business coach and consultant come in and conduct a 360 on me and others in management. What we learned was that our staff was afraid of failing and afraid of failing me as the owner if they made a mistake in service to our customers. Wow, what an eye-opener that was! Our culture was one of getting everything right for the customer each time and doing our best to not have our staff fail. Thus, each day, team Baue functioned with a fear of failing.

This culture was not working. No staff can be motivated by fear of failure. They needed to be supported, trained to know it was ok to fail. We as owners and managers had to change our behaviors and share our failures with them too. We learned they needed more praise, encouragement, and enhanced training. They also needed to feel supported, understood, and know that they mattered to us as our first priority in every decision we made.

Today, during the worldwide pandemic, many staff and funeral service professionals around the country and the world continue to feel isolated, fearful, and alone. Some have experienced their own losses and are exhausted. We are seeing and reading about employees who are leaving our profession and companies in larger numbers more than ever before.  Our profession is part of the “Great Resignation” and at the same time, deaths are increasing, not just from the pandemic, but from an aging population.

The question we should be asking ourselves, is what are we going to do about this? We struggle to find new hires, new licensees, and those that continue on our team are tired and could be considering leaving in the future. The next generation of Millennials and Gen Z (those born after 1993) are not entering our profession, nor enrolling in mortuary schools in large enough numbers to fill the losses we are experiencing. Something must give, and somebody must do something. That somebody, I believe is us! That somebody is looking back at us in the mirror every morning.

Wake up funeral service! Admit we have made mistakes and go fix them!!!

As a profession, we must acknowledge that we are not managing our cultures correctly, nor do we have our licensing laws aligned with the desires and skills for future employee retention. The licensing law topic is a blog for another day. Suffice it to say that most of the licensing we require, along with the training we provide, is not aligning with what a future hire wants to attend, nor what our client family’s needs are. Is it occurring to any of us that we are misaligned in our efforts and the culture we have created? Does it concern us that our clients are arranging direct burials and direct cremations in increasing numbers, and not choosing us to help with the service or they are choosing no service at all?

I believe that we can and must do things differently going forward. My “wake up call” was in 2014. I chose to behave differently as a leader. I chose to do something about our culture to better care for our team members and show them how much they were appreciated. I chose to listen to their development and work environment needs. We changed our focus from our customers to our staff and began on a path to help them become the best leaders, caregivers, and the best event planners they could be. I do not think it was by accident that our company volume grew, nor that we became the “employer of choice” in our region for years to come. It convinced me back then as it does today, that a strong positive culture of caring more for our team members than we do for our customers was and is the right thing to do.

In June of 1912, our 26th President of the United States, Teddy Roosevelt, stated “Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” This quote was shared while he was speaking in Chicago, IL.

For more ideas from Chicago, I interviewed Barbara Kemmis, Executive Director of the Cremation Association of North America (CANA), headquartered in the greater Chicago area for my Elevating Women in Funeral Service Series on the Your Funeral Coach Talks podcast. Barbara shared her thoughts on mentorship, leadership and the growth CANA has experienced in membership, finances, and programs. She also consulted her crystal ball to discuss the future growth of cremation and trends in our profession. I hope you will listen in. 

Be well, spend some time this week showing others in your organization how much you care, want to hear their ideas, concerns, and fears.
And most of all, I hope you discover your “wake up call” as you look in the mirror tomorrow morning and think about what you want for your company’s future culture. Better yet, ask your team what they think!

Courage. Discipline. Integrity. The values and skills that veterans have honed over the years align well with funeral professions. From funeral directors and crematory operators to cemetery managers and maintenance and grounds crew or financial advisors to insurance sales, there are a wide variety of funeral career options available to veterans of all backgrounds and interests.

When asked to name their top business challenges, owners of funeral profession businesses rank finding strong employees at the top of the list. This is an especially urgent need during times of crisis, such as a pandemic, when the ‘service’ part of the funeral profession really shines. Caring, competent, mission-driven employees are needed now more than ever.
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But how to engage, recruit and hire more military veterans to careers in the funeral service profession?

The latest NFDA Member Needs & Satisfaction Study asked funeral professionals what they see as their greatest business challenge over the next 5 years. Nearly 57% of respondents feel their greatest challenge will be availability of qualified personnel. Data shows that workforce concerns have been increasing over the past several years among all segments of deathcare.

In contrast, every year more than 220,000 military service members transition out of service in search of another career. In fact, as of January 2021, the US Veteran unemployment rate was nearly 5%. There are well-trained military veterans looking for meaningful work.

A funeral service career can be closely aligned to the many skills that veterans have gained during their military service. Their commitment to getting the job done, organizational skills, interpersonal skills, leadership skills, and overall strength and rigor are admired by funeral businesses. In addition to applying the valuable skills they learned during their service, an interest in furthering their education and acquiring new talents makes veterans top-notch, coveted workers.

Veterans exhibit the qualities needed to be successful in the funeral profession: A high level of trust and resilience. A desire to serve others. The ability to work well in extreme situations. Mission focus and advanced teamwork skills.
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Journey to Serve is a free marketing resource program that works to attract veterans into careers throughout the funeral service profession. We aim to help you hire for positions in funeral homes, crematories, cemeteries, advance planning, business-to-business sales, suppliers to the profession, and all levels of support roles.

​When recruiting veterans, it is important to acknowledge the unique skills they bring to the workforce. Understanding the best ways to help veterans make the transition to funeral service will help them become valuable members of your team. Funeral professionals can accomplish these goals by leveraging the free, comprehensive Journey to Serve toolkit: a hero video, customizable print and digital ads, social media posts and radio spots and podcast ads, presentations and slide decks, FAQ messaging guidance, a career comparison chart, a customizable chart flyer, blog posts, quizzes and more.
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For veterans, the resources from Journey to Serve demonstrates how skills align, what educational opportunities and resources are available, and the chance to hear from other veterans who have made the transition. As an extra incentive, the Funeral Service Foundation and the ICCFA Educational Foundation will award two $5,000 academic scholarships to military veterans to help offset the costs associated with pursuing a career in funeral service and deathcare. The annual scholarships are equally funded by both organizations. A third scholarship, the Hunter M. Harbeson Memorial Scholarship, will provide $2,500 in academic support to a qualified veteran.

Employers wanting to offer placement through the GI Bill Apprenticeship Program must contact their local state certifying official to start the process, which includes creating a comprehensive training program that will teach the skills necessary for the veteran to become successful in their position. This may include classroom training in addition to hands-on experience. The program can help veterans transition into a civilian job by creating a mentoring environment. As an example, Merendino Cemetery Care utilized the program and found that it changed their organizational culture to a mission-focused approach, which was beneficial to the entire company. Read more about one veteran’s own personal journey to serve below.

​U.S. ARMY SIGNAL CORP AND MERENDINO CEMETERY CARE

One of the hardest days of her life was the day she said goodbye to her one-year-old son at the airport as she was leaving for South Korea for an entire year. After learning how difficult it can be to say goodbye to those you love, she made the tough decision to leave the military and focus on family. Thereafter, she became a 911 operator for 21 years. She also served in the National Guard and Army Reserves while working full-time. She was the first-ever female commander of the Lincolnwood American Legion Post #1226.
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Today, Daisy is the Midwest Branch Manager at Merendino Cemetery Care, where she oversees grounds management for 15 cemeteries. She works out of the Chicago branch, where she manages a team of five. She has a great trusting relationship with her team, which she attributes to skills learned during her time in service. “You have to trust in your leaders. I trust them, and therefore the trust is returned,” Daisy explains.

​Hiring veterans makes good business sense.

They are focused on mission accomplishment, and can continue their Journey to Serve by helping the families in your care.
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Our goal is to make your job of finding qualified personnel easier by offering free resources to help you communicate with veterans and recruit them to your open positions. The Journey to Serve toolkit of customizable marketing materials will help you target the right audience efficiently and effectively.

Veterans Day is our opportunity to thank and show support for those that have served. Journey to Serve is a new program aimed at recruiting military veterans to careers in funeral service. Launched in 2021, the program is a joint initiative of the Funeral Service Foundation (NFDA’s charitable arm) and the ICCFA Educational Foundation. The Funeral Service Association of Canada has also co-sponsored the project.

The largest philanthropic organizations in the funeral profession have come together to help the profession face the challenges of finding and hiring qualified personnel. We hope you will take advantage of the tools provided at www.JourneyToServe.com to find your next great hire.
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Journey to Serve provides free resources to the profession to help recruit veterans into meaningful work in all aspects of funeral service. On October 19, 2021, Journey to Serve was approved by the Department of Defense as a web resource on Military OneSource. This is a giant win for Journey to Serve, and means that the program is now front and center for service members preparing to transition out of their military careers.

Ten years and four months ago I decided the next step in my career was to become an executive director. I started looking at job postings and stumbled across one for the Cremation Association of North America. My first reaction was to chuckle and marvel that there really is an association (or three) for any profession. I applied for the position, bombed the phone interview, aced the in-person interview and the rest is history.

Too often, we talk about how slow this profession is to advance. Looking back, however, it’s been an exciting decade of change and growth for the industry and our association in particular. In 2011, CANA was 98 years young – a startup transitioning from an association management company to hiring their first association professional to take the organization to the next level. Cremation was still a threat rather than a reality for non-members. In 2021, cremation is the new tradition and other forms of disposition are clamoring for their own place. CANA’s staff is some of the most dedicated in the business, continuing to evolve our offerings to meet the needs of members and the entire profession.

I can see how much I have learned and continue to learn. Here are ten reflections on cremation and CANA in 2021 compared to 2011:

In 2011, CANA was the primary cremation education provider and I was routinely told by well-known thought leaders that cremation was irrelevant and a fad. Others were angry about the growing adoption of cremation and accused CANA of destroying their businesses. Cremation was still considered to be a fringe disposition to be feared or ignored.

“Cremation is taking food out of my children’s mouths!” expressed a tipsy monument dealer at one of my first professional meetings in fall 2011. I didn’t take this personally at the time, and he later apologized, but I soon learned that cremation had a greater negative impact on cemeteries and memorial suppliers than other types of businesses. That impact continues, but even then, there were opportunities going unexplored.

If cremation is the opposite of casketed burial, as consumers seem to understand it, then traditions linked to burial are often viewed as disconnected to cremation. Why then were cemeteries largely offering burial for cremated remains as the only permanent placement option? Why were the companies building and selling monuments and mausoleums avoiding building columbaria? When I asked these questions early on in my career, I heard variations on the theme that these are business decisions.

Now it is clear that cremation is a persistent trend and all types of CANA members are aware of that and eager to explore how it can grow their businesses. Today’s business decisions incorporate cremation in planning and product development. Those previous era’s thought leaders are largely retired or have changed their tune. We have all learned a lot.

“I don’t own or operate a crematory, so I don’t belong to CANA,” was the common response I received when pitching CANA membership. And it was true, CANA was and is the market leader in crematory operations training and expertise. I learned how to answer questions posed by members and regulators alike. Funeral directors were fielding questions from families choosing cremation and needed to learn more about the technical process to respond with accurate and valuable information.
Membership has tripled over the past decade and the growth is among businesses without crematories. They join CANA to learn how to increase profitability and learn strategies to better serve grieving families beyond the basic (though all-important) crematory operations.

In the macro world of professional and trade associations, membership is decreasing (as is attendance at conventions). With social media and “free” information online, more people are choosing not to affiliate with an association, but seek connections elsewhere. CANA bucks these trends with a +95% member retention rate and attracting more than 100 new members a year.

Fundamentally, associations reflect their member’s challenges and successes. Associations must change and adapt to meet these needs. For example, CANA responded to the growing adoption of online education by creating an online version of its Crematory Operations Certification Program (COCP) in 2017. By 2019, more operators were certified online than in person for convenience and accessibility reasons, but all received the same training and content. I am grateful that CANA’s education offerings are diversified. Building on that success, we offer CE courses, webinars, and professional development online – we’re investing to make CANA Education available anywhere.
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Trends like consolidation, business closure and briefer attention spans are real challenges for all associations that CANA addresses head on.

A decade ago, as I was analyzing CANA member records and meeting members, the majority of members had multiple brands. The brand that was primarily cremation-focused was often the business that held the CANA membership. All funeral service providers could support cremation consumers, and many funeral homes had added “& Cremation Services” to their business names. Generally speaking, cremation societies were largely considered to be “bottom feeders” by their traditional, brick-and-mortar competitors. Advertising on price was a newer, controversial concept.
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Fast forward to a world where many CANA members retain their Funeral Home and Cremation Society, and have added an online brand as well. The goal of this diversification is meeting cremation consumers where they are and offering a variety of options. This trend is true for the national, publicly traded members as well as regional or local providers. Advertising on price is widely accepted and expected for the value brands, whereas the service-oriented brands tend to promote personalization and excellent service. Cremation consumers have more choices in service providers than ever.

The assumption that cremation consumers choose cremation for the lowest price persists and it is damaging to our profession. Very few businesses can survive, much less thrive, on the volume necessary to support low prices. There are low-cost providers in nearly every market already, but emphasis on market share is crucial.

Low income and poor families don’t default to cremation because of price. They crowd source funeral funding for the disposition they want, or, sadly, they abandon their loved one. Indigent deaths are on the rise and that is the result of a complete lack of funding for an unexpected death. Assumptions are creating more distance from the consumer and add to misunderstandings.

In May 2019, CANA and Homesteaders Life Company conducted joint research on the cremation experience. This research resulted in 7 key insights, but our first critical lesson was when designing the research. We contracted with focus group research centers to create groups for us divided into Direct Cremation and Cremation with Service groups. We defined Direct Cremation as people who chose cremation and did nothing, conducting no services. The contact called us back and said they had hundreds of potential participants in our focus groups who chose cremation and were willing to talk about their experience, but they couldn’t find any Direct Cremation consumers. The mistake we made was defining Direct Cremation as doing nothing, when we meant doing nothing with a cremation provider.
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People who choose cremation always do something—the question is whether they view the funeral director as an expert to help them create new traditions, or as a body handler. This is my primary question as I face the next decade.

Ten years ago, I joked that I was the executive director of a 100-year-old start-up, but that is the culture I have attempted to maintain over the past decade. CANA is progressive and committed to creating and delivering content that supports our members and promotes ethical, transformative cremation experiences. I am still learning every day and the staff and I always appreciate your feedback, questions and suggestions.

This work is hard and requires imagination, reliable data to make decisions and collaboration. I hope you will join me in raising a glass to my first ten years with CANA and all we have accomplished together!

Millennials currently make up the largest portion of the U.S. workforce. They are known for their familiarity with the internet, social media, and digital devices. As a generation that grew up on stickers and participation trophies, millennials have come to place high importance on collaboration, teamwork and helping the greater good.

So what are the things that you're putting in place for these workers? Because if you’re thinking, “well, I'll just wait.” What you're waiting for is not necessarily coming. Millennials make up about 75% of the workplace, there are more MBAs in the millennial generation than have no degrees at all, 30% of them are living with family, and 36% have tattoos. Planning for the future includes the millennial and gen z employee.

ENCOURAGE THEIR “CAN-DO” ATTITUDE
Millennials want to know that their work is valued, and they are somehow making a difference. The best way to connect with your millennial colleague is to explain the big picture to them and let them know how their work impacts the families or communities you are serving.

They are looking to see that the work that they do adds value to something. To me what this is: Are there things that matter to those employees? If there are, can they be in charge of it. For example, something as simple as doing a can drive. One funeral home did Wreaths Across America and they put their millennial employee in charge of that. They loved it, because they bridged that gap between work and something socially responsible and doing something different. What we find is that the values millennials, and even Gen Z, will go after are the ones that are actually trying to accomplish something versus something that just wants to make money. So, if we can have that kind of balance between those things, make it available to them. Plus, doing drives like this — can drives, clothing drives, things like that — it also boosts the funeral home as well.

CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT THAT IS POSITIVE AND CONSTRUCTIVE
Millennials are accustomed to using technology in their everyday lives, and they expect the same at work. As digital natives, they are comfortable learning and utilizing new technology. If different procedures can be digitized, these employees want the workplace to invest in the new technology and innovations. Mobile integration and modalities are expected, not only by employees, but also by the millennial family members you serve.

They've grown up surrounded by digital devices, but ‘digital natives’ does not mean that they are technologically savvy. If you want them to help you on Facebook and Instagram, that's your group. But if you expect that they are going to somehow run your website, that they're going to fix your printer, got another think coming. The millennials and the Gen Z at Worsham College, if the printer does not work, they will just look at it and go, “it's not working. It's not working.” I am probably more technologically savvy, because I remember dial-up and when I had to read descriptions and put things together.

ENCOURAGE THEM TO GIVE THEIR OPINIONS AND IDEAS
Millennials grew up with parents and teachers who facilitated open communication techniques. They are used to having their opinions heard and having a seat at the table. While millennials do favor encouraging feedback, they also want consistent communication. They want to be informed about the job and the employer’s expectations and have regular meetings to check in on their progress.

They want both instruction and independence, so teach them through conversations, not commands, allowing for feedback and repeating. Give them measurable goals and help them hold themselves accountable for achieving them. Do not threaten punishment if they make mistakes but give them the confidence to take responsibility for their actions, and the support they need to fix their mistakes.

What are the needs of our millennial generation? They need coaching and mentorship. They want to develop their skills and know how they're progressing. I'll say it like this, everyone that comes into mortuary science school — the ones that graduate and move on — they want to be you. They want to be funeral directors. That's why they go to school. So they are excited, they can't wait to start. The idea of you coaching and mentoring them matters a lot to them, because it's such a part of who they are. And it's what they want to see and be a part of.

ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR IMPACT
If a millennial is doing a good job, they want to know. Acknowledge hard work through recognition programs and performance-based incentives. However, this recognition should not be competitive. It is more about them staying motivated rather than outperforming their co-workers.
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Many of our students work at local funeral homes, and we had a student who worked a visitation. When he came to school the next day, he says, “I had a great day at work yesterday. A funeral director gave me this.” And he holds up above his head, as if he just had won the lottery, a $10 Subway gift card. All our students were so excited, so happy, because here's the two things that happened in that moment: he was recognized and he was appreciated. It doesn't have to be huge. It doesn't need to be these massive rewards. It just needs to be something and you're saying, “Yes, I see what you're doing.”

It’s easy to stereotype generations because it makes some intuitive sense that people born in similar eras would have similar skills, experiences and attitudes. But good management and a positive work environment matter more than how many generations are co-existing under one roof.

So, for example, if you have an expectation of how you want to receive communication, you need to tell them, If they don't follow your policy, they're a bad employee, get rid of them. But most of the time, the generations are actually be able to change and communicate with you the way that you want.

Many times the actions and behaviors of the millennial can seem like they are disengaged or disinterested in their job but that is not entirely accurate.  For example, many funeral directors say that once a millennial completes their task list they grab their phone and do not look around to find additional tasks.  My response and suggestion is that most of your younger employees have been taught that once you complete a task list you are done. So if you want them to find additional tasks ask your millennial what is missing from the task list.  Make them part of the discussion.

When funeral professionals learn the right approaches to working with the different generations it alleviates a great deal of stress and frustration in the workplace. Acknowledging the different styles of employees allows for them all, regardless of their generation, to contribute and be a meaningful part of the workplace.

Understanding generations particularly around communication, trust and decision-making can go a very long way in helping funeral professionals understand how to better connect with different generations of employees and families they serve. At a time when the profession continues to be more consumer-centric, the potential benefit of better communication is significant. Regardless of the generation most all people want the same thing: to work in a place that treats them fairly and values their work.

Hello, my name is Michael Dixon. I am the president and founder of Funeral Professionals Peer Support. Before I tell you why that date is so important, let’s go back a bit. I was born 57 years ago in Transcona, Manitoba to two amazing, successful parents. I was the youngest – and only – boy in a family of girls.

Growing up I had a lot of things stacked against me: I was born with a serious heart defect and a stutter, and in childhood I was sexually abused. The heart defect was cured and with a lot of work my stutter was overcome, but the scars of abuse stay with you forever. I hid it well. I buried it away by playing football and baseball, and, sadly, with alcohol. Upon graduating from high school and college, I started working in the hotel industry. After almost 10 years of that, I discovered that hotels just were not for me.

Funeral service was always my second choice out of high school, so I decided that I would give it a try. After finishing my 40 hours observation, I felt like I belonged for the first time. I was with people who were like me: kind, compassionate, and caring. I started working for a large funeral home and I was loving it. I was a sponge: I soaked in everything I was being taught, both by new directors and seasoned directors. Some are still my role models to this day.

Four years into my new profession, I began to work for a removal service that this funeral home owned. There I saw firsthand how truly cruel humans can be to each other. In a three-year period, I attended over 38 murders—scenes where people were shot, stabbed, and tortured—and some of them were just children. Car accidents, train accidents, and suicides were too numerous to mention. Some calls you will never forget, even though they happened over 20 years ago. I can still picture the Christmas gifts all over the road that came from a car that flipped over on Christmas Eve. I can remember the song that was playing on the radio at a murder scene, or the smell of blood, gas, or anti-freeze.
I know I am preaching to the choir, but things like this never leave your memory. They make you turn the radio off when you hear “Welcome to the Jungle“ or take another route in order to avoid the site of that accident, suicide, or murder scene that is embedded in your memory. Otherwise you get triggered. Or you stand in the doorway of your kids’ rooms watching them because your memory just won’t let you fall asleep. When you do sleep, it’s not a sound sleep for the recommended eight hours, because death does not just happen from Monday to Friday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.

But with all these negative things, I never wanted to leave the profession. I tried to do my job well, hiding my feelings of failure, my low self-esteem and loneliness. I always put on a brave face, using comedy and humour to hide the depression that was slowly taking over my life. I, like most people in funeral service, felt that I had no one to go to. I didn’t want to talk to my wife about what I was feeling. The people I worked with at the time did not offer a safe place to talk about your feelings. There were no organized debrief or talk-down sessions, and the ones we did have were usually at a bar with alcohol, which is not a positive healing environment. In that time, the feeling around our profession was “You knew what you were getting into.”
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So, like everyone else, I went ahead and did my job well. I made good work friends and worked hard, but, due to my depression, I was never myself. I was always putting on an act—which often got me in trouble at work and especially at home. I always felt that I never fit in at either place. I didn’t think of myself as a good person, especially not a good father and husband. I thought many times that everyone’s life would be better if I was not around.

One thing about depression, it’s a slow killer. The year 2015 should have been a great year: I had a beautiful home on a nice piece of land, my three amazing kids were successful and taking on the world; my wife was in a good job and an active, well-respective member of our community; I was in a job that I loved, and for the first time I felt loved and respected.
But things were starting to unravel for me. I had terrible anxiety. I hated to be away from home, and when I was at home, I was usually in my room, cut off from everyone. I was not sleeping well, I was having terrible anxiety attacks where it felt like a heart attack—trouble catching my breath, chest pains, etc. I was using alcohol now as a crutch more than I had done in the past, using it to give me confidence to go out, to make speeches, and to meet people.

A month before Christmas in 2015, I decided I’d had enough. I was tired. I was tired of going on. So, I planned this suicide attempt. I scouted out locations, bought a good insurance policy, even did a practice run. January 7th was the day. That Christmas, we went overboard on gifts and had a lot of parties. January 7th came and I got up at my normal time. I was not sad or upset. I was totally at peace. I kissed my wife goodbye, drove my son to school, and off I went, pulling into the parking lot at a park. I sat there having my last cigarette and thought “Okay, let’s do this.”

I opened the car door but for some reason I could not get out of the car. I could hear this voice in my head saying “It’s okay, I got you, make that call!” and I could feel these hands on my shoulder. I started to cry because I was thinking “Who would walk my daughter down the aisle or be there for my two sons and my wife?”
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In my despair, I made a deal with myself. I was going to call my doctor and, if someone answered the phone, I would go for help. If I must leave a message, I would walk in the forest. The phone rang once and a nurse picked up, and I thought “When does that happen? When do you ever call your doctor and they pick up the phone?” After telling the nurse that I was suicidal, my doctor came on the phone and told me to come to his office right away. After an hour of talking, I went for tests and I was diagnosed with severe depression and PTSD.

From that point on, I decided to not be quiet, but to be very open about my diagnosis. When I told my colleagues what I was dealing with, many of them said “Man, I am going through the same thing. I am tired, frustrated, and burnt out and I am thinking of leaving.” So, instead of staying quiet and only worrying about me, I reached out to a few friends and we decided to come together and organize the very first funeral service peer support group in the world.

Ottawa Funeral Peer Support was born. Our profession finally had a place where people could meet and share their personal struggles and get the support and encouragement to get help. In January of the following year, we started to get press coverage from local newspapers, which other news outlets from across Canada picked up. We then started to get requests to do radio and TV interviews both locally and internationally.

Once that happened, we started to hear from funeral directors across Canada saying “We need this in our communities. We need support.” We realized quickly that our long-term goal had to be our right now goal, and Canadian Funeral Peer Support was born. Within a year, support groups have come up in New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, not to mention Ottawa, Hamilton, and Winnipeg all in Ontario. There is also serious interest in Alberta, British Columbia, Toronto, and Windsor.

Then COVID hit. Our peer support groups met in person so, when everything shut down, we had to come up with a plan to stay connected with our people. It was then decided that each group would host Zoom meetings, which opened us up to funeral professionals from around the world. We started to have people connect with us from throughout the United States as well as England, Italy, Australia, and Kenya. We started to hear from people everywhere that this is something they needed and wanted to be part of.

Our management team got together and we realized we are no longer just a Canadian company. We had to go international. In February of 2021 we started an international support line for licenced and non-licenced funeral staff, along with their families. With a phone call or text, you can speak to a counselor with funeral service experience that will listen and help guide you through any issue you have—for both work or non-work-related issues. We became Funeral Professionals Peer Support (FPPS).

One thing that has made us successful is we have always responded to a need. This year, we brought Peer Support groups into the United States. We are reaching funeral professionals from across the United States and Canada with online support meetings and educational webinars.

FPPS has learned is that there is no “extra money“ from our governments for mental health care. That’s why it is now the responsibility that all businesses make positive mental health care a priority in our workplaces. It is our belief that funeral service can be the leader in the goal of a positive workplace.

Stats tell the story of where we are now:

• In a Work and Well-Being Survey less than half of working Americans reported that their organization supports the well being of its employees.
• In 2014, $186 billion was spent on Health care services to treat mental health issues in the US
• 44.7 million adults 18 or older reported mental illness and burnout in 2016
• 8.8 million adults reported visiting a mental health provider in the past 12 months

Poor mental health and stress can negatively affect employees:

1. Job performance
2. Engagement at work
3. Physical capability and daily functioning
4. Absenteeism

We can’t go on doing the same thing and expecting different results. We have lost too many amazing, talented people in our profession to suicide and burnout. That’s why, as a profession, we can be the leaders. We joined this profession because we care about people. Now it’s time to care for one another.

Peer Support is now being looked at and valued as a positive first step in mental health care around the world. In Canada, federal government departments are now instituting peer support groups for their employees. In Canada and the United States, first responders and the military are starting peer groups as well.

Peer Support helps you meet with people that speak your language, learn from people who have been where you are, and support each other. We provide tools that are applicable to the job, make no judgement, ensure confidentiality and offer the opportunity to give back. Our groups have had speakers talk about burnout, stress, compassion fatigue, yoga, healthy eating and—my favorite—personal support animals. All valuable insight into a healthy work and home life.
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If you are interested in a Peer group in your community or you have any questions please visit us at www.funeralpeersupport.com or call 343-961-2470.


Funeral Professionals Peer Support is committed to the improvement of our brothers and sisters’ mental health. My hope is that no one else in our profession is ever sitting in a park alone in their car playing roulette with their life.

On April 28th I had the pleasure of joining CANA, my Foundation Partners colleagues and two of our partners in an incredibly informative webinar entitled, Meeting Families Where They Are: How to Leverage Cremation Trends to Your Advantage. I was very impressed with the practical and actionable advice and solid tips shared by our presenters.

What I also found interesting was the wide range of cremation experience among the more than 220 CANA members who registered for the event. Nearly 20 percent of registrants are relatively new to the cremation space, with cremation representing less than 25 percent of their current business, while another 18 percent are fully invested in cremation services, which make up more than 85 percent of their business.
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Wherever they fall on the cremation business spectrum, they received valuable takeaways that will help them fine-tune and advance their businesses. And the good news is you can too by viewing a recording of the webinar here. First, however, I wanted to share a few highlights of the session and my take on the lessons learned.

I wholeheartedly agree with Tom’s assessment, which is supported by research showing that ancillary product and service offerings for cremation families represent a massive opportunity for funeral home owners.

The findings he shared about environmental concerns also resonated with me. As managers and owners of funeral service businesses, we need to be keenly aware of this environmental trend and look for ways to weave environmental responsibility into the fabric of our operations. Funeral home owners who recognize and stay ahead of the growing environmental movement will be well-positioned for success.

That’s why we were proud to announce that all cremations across Foundation Partners locations will be carbon neutral this year, thanks to a new carbon offset program we implemented through Terrapass to support projects across North America that reduce carbon in the atmosphere.

We all know that the pandemic has accelerated the flight to online shopping but educating families and selling funeral services online requires a new mindset and a new approach. Angelique Simpson, professional development director for Matthews Aurora Funeral Solutions, offered tips to prepare your teams for the changing demands and expectations of today’s families, and illustrated how your average revenue per contract has the potential to increase when you have an effective online portal. Her advice ranged from why it’s imperative that your staff be knowledgeable in every aspect of your online offering, to making sure that your online platform enlists large clear photo images of all of the best products and services you have to offer.

According to Angelique, the key to successfully advancing your business is investing in your team with professional development. Making the shift from face-to-face family meetings to online chat and telephone communications requires training.

Our own, Foundation Partners experience bears this out. Like most of you, pandemic lock-downs required our teams to make pre-need and at-need arrangements over the phone or online. And state and local restrictions that limited gatherings prompted us to reassess our tools for remote attendance. Updating our e-commerce capabilities and bringing on new remote attendance systems required an efficient operational plan and a huge training effort that reached each of our 160 locations across the country.

At Foundation Partners, we take a three-step approach to rolling out new tools and procedures in our funeral homes: Pilot, Listen and Adapt.

Pilot – We identify offerings that are resonating in the market and test them in select locations. We partner with vendors and have them educate our teams to test new items. And then we incentivize our teams to offer these new products and services to families.

Listen – We ask our funeral home team members for feedback as they present different options to families. What’s working? And what’s not working?

Adapt – As we learn what is and is not resonating with our families, we adapt to meet their needs.

This is something you can do within your locations, regardless of the size of your business.

If you’re thinking about succession planning, now is the perfect time to arrange a complementary, confidential financial analysis with Foundation Partners Group. Click here to request a call or call Jason Widing, our vice president of business development at (503) 200-0605

Everyone is tired of hearing the phrase “These are unprecedented times,” but a worldwide pandemic that has affected our profession and our lives as much as this one has is truly unprecedented. As a result, this makes for a very difficult time, both physically and emotionally.

We all rose to the call—and still are. Some in different ways and some with different needs. And we are coming out better on the other side. As we often hear, “The more difficult the situation, the higher the reward.” I truly believe we will be better funeral directors and better cemeterians and better cremationists as a result of this pandemic. This was very much a positive learning experience for us all. As an industry, we pushed to new levels and encountered unchartered territory.

During all of this, the creativity and resourcefulness of those in our profession does not surprise me. It is our job to respond to families on a daily basis, to listen to them carefully and explore effective ways to serve their needs while protecting everyone’s safety.

But we can’t do it alone. We rely on the collaboration and generosity of our colleagues and the stamina and ingenuity of our staff. Professional associations play an important role, too. It is CANA and it is organizations like CANA—be they national, state, provincial, or local—that have been tremendously resourceful on behalf of funeral directors and cremationists. In a crisis such as this, we are so busy in the field that we often do not have the time, the energy, or the means to educate ourselves and our staff with the most current information. We benefit from expert guidance to learn how to properly protect ourselves. It’s really helpful to hear what professionals advise and what other colleagues are doing to cope.

One year in, we asked some industry leaders to share their reflections and pass along what they’ve learned during the past year. I’ve added my own story from Texas as well. Knowing how busy everyone is, we’re grateful for these responses and send our support to everyone as we all continue to meet the challenges of this pandemic.

Reflecting on the past twelve months, it is hard to find the right words to describe it. “Unprecedented” has been used, if not overused, but still, to me, feels like the one word that most accurately describes what has occurred.

I still vividly recall the first day COVID impacted funeral service in New York. It was the afternoon of March 12, 2020 and we had just finished the Association’s quarterly board meeting when we learned about the first gathering limits. That moment until mid-summer was a blur. Due to the rapid spread of COVID and increasingly high death toll, especially in downstate New York, we had months filled with constant changes and stresses on the death care system never before seen. And, in turn, we supported our members in ways we never had before.

The most impactful and important role we played (according to our members) was as a communicator. We sent out at least daily emails with updates, created a COVID resource page, hosted weekly webinars and served as an advocate with state and local government to ensure our members had the resources they needed to meet their role as public health officials and so they remained able to serve families in their time of need. We also became the chief spokesperson for funeral service, with local to international media conducting TV and radio interviews as well as speaking with countless reporters for printed stories.

We (both the NYSFDA and our funeral directors) quickly became experts in the use of technology. Platforms like Zoom and Skype became essential for communicating with our members and for our funeral directors to communicate and work with families. The pandemic also accelerated the use of technology with our state and local government agencies that support death care. Paper heavy processes like completing death certificates and issuing burial permits pivoted to electronic means within days.

Many of the changes we adapted to in the spring and summer of 2020 remain in place. The use of technology to conduct business is a change we expect will become permanent which will, in the long run, help both the association serve our members and the funeral directors run their business and serve families. Others, like the restrictions on gatherings have certainly taken a toll on those who have lost a loved one and the funeral directors who take such great pride in being the experts in helping families through the first stages of grief. Seeing those restrictions phased out will be a welcome sight.

So, as we navigate through what we hope are the final stages of the pandemic and return to some sense of normalcy, we remain steadfast in our efforts to support our members so they can continue to fulfill their vital role. We are also thankful and so very appreciative for the sacrifices they made, risks they took and endless compassion they displayed throughout the past year.

2020 will forever be the year that lives in infamy for many if not all of us. When I think back to the last twelve months, the words fear, vulnerable, confusion, chaos, stress, disruptive, and game-changing all come to my mind.

It was late January 2020 when we learnt about the first case of COVID 19 in our state. I did not think much of it and was not concerned about its impact in our community. After all, we have had other viruses and I was certain it would be contained. Was I ever wrong! I began to realize the magnitude when the stay-at-home order was issued by our governor.

What did this all mean for our profession? That ugly word nobody wants to talk about (death) was everywhere. People were dying. Italy and New York stood out. It was early March that my world began to be impacted. It started with us having to cancel two of the three regional mini conferences scheduled for the WCCFA association members. It turned out to be the first of many decisions I had to make as a leader this past year that required courage and being firm in doing what it is right even though people would be and were upset. This was the beginning of a long hard journey that continues to this day.

No funerals? Immediate family only funerals? These were the ever-changing directives from our governor’s office with not much clarity to each definition. Chaos, confusion, anger, and tears—this was everyone’s (ours and our families) response. How does one tell a grieving attendee who unexpectedly showed up that we are over capacity? This was and is still our reality. Funeral directors had to be explicit in our directions and communications. We had to move into a pro-active mode of communication by emailing guidelines to families and having families sign a document that spells out the guidelines and agree that they understood we were required to enforce them.

The biggest challenge for us was how to do our job with all these restrictions and social distancing requirements. Building rapport with families has always been drilled into me my entire profession. How do we build this rapport when we cannot hug, touch, or even see our families? How do we let them know we still care and their loved one is safe remotely?

We already had Livestreaming and the ability for families to do online arrangement conferences and electronic documents. The challenge was for our staff to effectively use them so the level of service would not be impacted. The telephone has always been an important tool for us, but now our livelihood depends on it. Our words have to be clear, concise and demonstrate empathy, compassion, and trust. This requires training.

With a lot of restrictions at all facilities where people passed, we realized we had an opportunity to give families a chance to say goodbye. Emails were sent to all our local nursing homes, hospitals, and other gate keepers letting them know we do allow people to see their loved ones. This past year, we have seen a huge increase in “identification” view and viewings in general. I realized we do not place enough value in this for our families. We are now working on educating our community on this.

A year later, we are hopeful with the vaccines that soon we will see things resume to normalcy. In our state, it does not seem immediate. My mindset has shifted from temporary crisis management and doing the best we can to how we plan and build the future and permanency of our business amidst this pandemic and recovery years.

2020 was a curse but a gift as well. A gift in helping me realize that we can serve families in different ways and still do it effectively. Embracing technology and e-commerce is so important. Understanding the most important asset in our organization is our staff. These were individuals whose personal lives were crumbling all around with them with schools being shut down, family members being sick or dying and still choosing to show up every day to care for others. Most importantly, when faced with a problem, we must tap into our creative sides to come up with a solution that is still legal, ethical, and moral.

Personally, I grew as a person and as a leader. I was afraid of getting sick of COVID and potentially dying from it before my children turned 18. I was afraid to get the vaccine when it became available to us. As a matter of fact, I canceled my initial appointment. On January 14th, I finally received my first dose of the vaccine. I am still fearful of what might come of it. Fear is a powerful motivator; I choose to feel it and push through it. My words for 2021 are hope and trust!

When I became Executive Director of WSFDA in 2018, the board and I worked to find solutions that met the needs of our members and leadership across the state while relocating the office to Spokane. Our Member Talks YouTube series, now also a podcast, and Zoom meant that we could talk to our members and each other without a five-hour commute. Little did we know how valuable these solutions would be a year later.

I can break the last year in thirds, each a major hurdle we had to meet for our members. The first was PPE. As the first epicenter of the pandemic, Washington was unable to prepare for the PPE shortage. We joined the state’s Emergency Operations Command to source PPE, but funeral directors were constantly shifting from the front of the line for supplies to the very back. We had to combat their belief that we were “simply picking up bags” from the coroner and educate these colleagues on what our job is really like.

The next hurdle was gathering restrictions. In a matter of days, funerals were limited to 50 people, to 20, to none at all. Meanwhile, I was in constant communication with the state and local departments of health tracking these orders to make sure we were in compliance. The problem was that the people we had worked with for resolving the PPE issue had been moved or transferred to different departments.  When the PPE task force dissolved, we had to build all new relationships within the State – every conversation was rebuilding channels of information to get answers.

It was a crazy year, juggling each crisis, and sometimes all three at the same time. Now, we’re dealing with the third hurdle—vaccine access—and figuring out if mortuary workers are listed in 1a, 2b, or even on the Vaccine distribution list at all. Each government agency we spoke with provided us with a different answer. Officially, Mortuary Workers are listed in a Phase 2b category by the Dept. of Health. However, many counties in Washington have begun Offering vaccines to mortuary workers. Now, I hope that the goal of 40,000-vaccines-a-day by April works.

As a profession, I hope we can take what we’ve learned as use it moving forward. The first being the tech options to meet remotely, the second the value of PPE and universal precautions. I want to get back to where we were or back to something new. As for my third year as Executive Director of WSFDA, I don’t know what it will bring, but I’m looking forward to it.

Who would have thought that we would STILL, one year later, be locked down, wearing masks, not visiting our friends and family outside of our bubble (or feeling guilty about cheating), and all the other calamity that has left so much in shambles? The vaccine is finally here but what a struggle to get vaccinated in some places.

How does funeral service NOT qualify for the first round? I do not know about you, but I have never been so jaded concerning something so critical ever in my life. Safely jaded of course. I wear a mask, stay 6 feet away, and use curbside pickup (that will hopefully never go away), but I refuse to let this thing get me down. Although I do not travel with anywhere near the frequency that I did before March 2020, I am not afraid to get on an airplane. I was home from March 12 through September 28, but I have, since then, taken two business trips and am currently on a plane to my “warm office” in Central America for the second time. What is my point here? When you are going through hell, just keep going!

Early on, especially in the New York City area, the number of deaths and cremations were overloading the capacity of the city’s crematories. My first thought was “be careful you don’t overuse and abuse these units, or they will break down and you will be in even deeper trouble!” The States of New York and New Jersey even waived emission restrictions allowing crematoria to operate virtually non-stop to keep up, and now many areas of California are doing the same.

When anyone asked me what the most important thing to consider regarding crematory operations during the pandemic, this is what I preached: a balance of customer service and safe, efficient operations. As hard as it is to be the cause of a delay in returning a loved one to their family, returning the wrong person because you were rushing is far worse. For the most part people understand. Sadly, the media has chosen to highlight the worst of funeral service during this time, not the best.

The massive majority of deathcare professionals go above the call of duty to serve, finding ways to provide service within the parameters of the current regulations, embracing technology with open arms, making adjustment after adjustment to our already deep set-in procedures and processes, and more. This is not easy and can become very tiresome—even debilitating. I can honestly say I am even sick of hearing about self-care and all that goes along with that, but we cannot let up yet. We still have a way to go and we cannot become complacent.

One positive aspect of this pandemic is that people are realizing that mourning their dead is important, necessary, and valuable. And we need funeral service professionals to lead the way. So, what is the answer to getting through this? Keep going!

I’ve had the great honor to be a part of and preside over many deathcare organizations, including the Texas Funeral Directors Association (TFDA). As chairperson for the TFDA Texas Disaster Response Team, I and my team have been dispatched to assist with a lot of different types of missions. But the COVID-19 response in the summer was very different. We quickly saw that the plans we had in place—the training that we had for mass fatalities and weather-related search and rescues—were not the plans we needed for a pandemic.

In other types of missions, we generally know the number of decedents in advance, but COVID-19 was different. We had a large number of decedents to deal with immediately, in coordination with funeral homes, crematories, and cemeteries in the region who were all overwhelmed and past capacity. We had to establish long-term, secure holding facilities to hold the decedents still coming in.

Our team worked long hours, and after the adrenaline wore off, the stress set in. The deathcare workers, healthcare workers, and local municipalities were stretched beyond measure. We saw funeral homes unable to do business because of staff shortage due to COVID-19. This was difficult for all of us involved.

For you as a funeral professional and a cremationist, being prepared will certainly put you in a less stressful situation when and if the need arises in your area. First and foremost, you need to ensure that you and your team are safe and healthy. There are not a lot of people in your community who do what you do. If you and your staff members contract this virus it can potentially force you to shut your business down and, even worse, lead to serious long-term medical complications.

I know I have faced this firsthand, as I’m sure many of you have, with staff members that are out on quarantine. Prepare yourself and your staff to minimize exposure to surviving family members. Make sure you’re fully staffed, prepare your staff for long hours and also prepare for another weak link in this system: transportation. If you’re a crematory owner, make sure your equipment is in good working condition and ready for extreme use.

Secondly, it is important to prepare for increased cold storage capacity. This has been the number one issue on every mission that our team has been a part of. This may become the biggest obstacle to overcome as your community encounters large numbers of COVID-related death.

Lastly, remember that you have colleagues willing to help. During this crisis I saw competitors that were normally probably not the closest of friends coming together to help each other for the common good. Almost all state and provincial associations have resources available to help you. Don’t be afraid to ask.

Preparation today will lessen some of the stress down the road. Remember to take care of yourself through these difficult and changing times. There is no silver bullet to make this easy. We’ve all struggled with long hours, subbing with team members so we can get rest. Being organized and trying to prepare is the best way to get through this and prevent burnout.

Months ago, pre-pandemic, when crowds were still gathering, I was invited to be a keynote speaker at a funeral service conference. I taped my speech ahead of time, and when I stepped up to the stage, I ran the video instead of speaking in person. WHY would he do that? many attendees, perhaps rightfully, wondered.

My point was that the digital world is HERE—and it should be embraced and used to its fullest capacity. But puzzled attendees didn’t quite understand…until the next day, when the scheduled speaker missed her flight, leaving a gaping hole in the program. Quite simply, no one had prepared with a digital back-up plan.

I think my delivery proved a prime example of what practitioners in the death care industry needed to see. While you may not see the need for digital transformation now, if you don’t make the shift soon, the effects could prove too little, too late.

When the pandemic hit, for most in the early first quarter of 2020, everybody—from teachers and students to libraries to restaurants—was forced to deliver goods and/or services in the digital world. Zoom became a permanent adjective, noun and verb in our lexicon.

But while some funeral directors played catch-up, others were better positioned to jump in head first and, hopefully, make solid gains for their funeral homes. Who are these prescient funeral directors? They’re the early adopters, perhaps those who were using digital register books when they first came out. Or those who began offering and broadcasting online services when families could no longer safely gather during the pandemic.

Those changes didn’t always come easy or without some hesitation. Whatever digital experience funeral directors offered families in the past, the traditionalists were not necessarily encouraging or didn’t have the technology to meet the digital divide.

But, as we now know, a digital/virtual paradigm is no longer a “nice to have” option. It’s a “need to have” for funeral homes hoping to come out of COVID conundrums at the top of their game.

Before the global pandemic, the goal of most funeral directors was to engage directly. A family would come in, sit with the funeral director, share stories of their loved one and, of course, then have to make grief-heavy decisions about purchasing caskets, urns, flowers and other “value added” items. And even though the death care professionals don’t like to think of it as “selling,” clearly the best way to offer alternatives to the families has been in person.

That model is changing. And not just due to the global pandemic, although that has speeded things up.

It may seem challenging to get the same feeling of empathy virtually, but consider death care’s changing audience. Today’s consumers don’t always need, want or welcome that level of engagement.

Millennials and other younger generations don’t use outmoded means to find your services—they use mobile devices and social networks. So, in addition to having an engaging and useful website—full of active links and pertinent, updated information, that makes having a social media presence (one that is updated often) essential.

Today’s customers are comfortable, and used to, buying important and big-ticket items like mattresses, cars, life insurance and vacations with the click of the mouse, so, too, are they more willing to plan funerals, buy products and services and engage more virtually. For example, in my informal talks with younger consumers (many digital natives), more than 90 percent of the people I spoke with said they didn’t enjoy visiting a funeral home at time of need.

Aside from the new consumers’ shift toward more digital engagement, they are also a more mobile generation and perhaps less tied to religious or cultural traditions. That, too, influences their purchasing needs and wants.

So, is it possible to create a seamless, effective digital engagement model for funeral directors? Of course, but there will, understandably, be a learning curve, as well as securing corporate/staff buy-in and choosing the right products. Integrated operational software like byondpro incorporates many functions to make the transition easier.

Workflows and records management functions will help funeral homes get their behind-the-scenes data in more usable forms. And sales and booking functions provide everything for the entire customer journey—planning a service, preparing quotes, booking services, managing suppliers, generating invoices and taking payments. Couldn’t be simpler. Or more necessary.

Even if you haven’t been an early adopter, it’s not too late, but it is too necessary.

If the death care industry has learned anything through all of the trials of 2020, it’s that business will likely not go back to the way it was. Just like TV didn’t kill radio, funeral directors will just have more means of communication at their disposal.

Recognize this: a digital transformation would have happened over time anyway. Maybe it took a pandemic—tragic as it is—to get the industry to change its point of view…and its way of doing business.

We are all virtual now. In addition to conducting virtual funerals and celebrations of life, you may find yourself attending birthday parties or toasting at Happy Hours online. The global pandemic and local gathering rules have forced us all to plan events within new limitations and with a whole new set of considerations.

CANA followed suit by converting our 102nd Annual Cremation Innovation Convention to a virtual event. It turned out well, but it involved a lot of careful planning. Once our leaders and staff decided to go virtual, we found we had a short four months to make a lot of decisions.

CANA’s may have been the profession’s first virtual convention, but it won’t be the last. Below I’ve shared some thoughts about our process and the lessons we learned. I hope it helps you as you plan your own events—whether it’s taking your next graveside service online or gathering family and friends for a virtual game night.

As a longtime devoted fan of Simon Sinek, I looked to his recommendations for guidance on moving forward with a virtual meeting. In both his viral TED Talk and subsequent book, Start with Why, Sinek encourages us to look at what we do (hold an Annual Convention) and examine the heart of it (why do we hold it?).

CANA started our planning process by posing the difficult question “Why should we have a virtual convention?” Other associations within the profession and around the world had cancelled their events, so why should CANA move forward? The immediate answer to the why question was, essentially, why not? We had four months to plan and a compelling desire to re-envision our 102nd annual event to a virtual platform, so we met the challenge. We are an association known for a progressive response to disruptions, so our leadership and staff were eager to uphold that reputation.

Closely related to WHY is HOW – how will we be able to successfully translate the CANA convention experience to a virtual platform? An in-person CANA convention takes place in one large room. Everyone is in that room together, meaning attendees and exhibitors are learning, eating, drinking and networking seamlessly throughout the event. A virtual platform supports the same integration, also bringing everyone together into one space—an easy adaptation.

We had already established a strong virtual link to the cremation and death care professionals. From the beginning of the pandemic, CANA has convened its members to share information, hear from experts and formulate solutions together. Networking and education have never been more closely linked. So for us, a final WHY to hold the virtual convention was our charge to advance CANA’s mission and serve members and the broader profession.

Having identified WHY a virtual convention has value, we identified three key elements to its success:

This list is absolutely in priority order. By August 2020, many of us were craving connection, even if it was only available via a screen. Networking was the top priority, as it is with in-person conventions, so we sought a platform that supported networking in multiple ways.

While the CANA Convention prioritized networking over other elements, every event is different. It is incumbent on the host to identify and market the event’s value proposition – jargon for the WHY. Your event may prioritize education, community engagement or gathering together. Once you know that, you can then market the event and attract key audiences. However, just as with in-person events, you’d better be able to deliver what you promise.

Below are some of the questions we posed that informed our planning, our decision-making—and even our marketing—with our answers.

One important lesson we learned is that very few attendees planned to completely pull themselves away from the office or work during the convention time. Of course, because the rituals of packing and flying or driving to the convention and the respite of a hotel stay  were not a factor, I am not sure it would have occurred to me to stay away from work either. I came home from the CANA office and slept in my bed at the end of each day.

The etiquette of an in-person event is familiar. Advance preparation is helpful, but an attendee or exhibitor can grab a program at the registration desk and make snap decisions about how to plan their experience without much of a learning curve. We know what to do, and we can take cues from the other people in the event.

A virtual event has a steeper learning curve. There are layers of technology to navigate just to conduct a group chat, or simply to identify who is currently available on the platform. For our Convention, the platform required a computer (not a tablet or phone) in order to get the optimal networking experience. So even if attendees and exhibitors were able to run their business on the go, they couldn’t get the full convention experience from a phone or tablet. Since CANA members do not spend large portions of their day in front of computers, many struggled with internet access or finding a compatible browser. Many discovered that they didn’t have an accessible camera on their computer.

We could not have predicted these challenges, but we created and offered a lot of advance education and technical support to help attendees and exhibitors understand and use the specific platform tools. We did this on YouTube with walkthroughs, emails with images and instructions, and on this very blog. And it was effective! Most of the attendees planned ahead and knew how to use the platform and therefore learned quickly.

Unfortunately, many of the exhibitor staff who set up the booths and attended the CANA training were not the same people who staffed the actual booth during the Convention. 90% of technical support questions came from exhibitors on Day One of the event.

Many registrants apologized in the post-event evaluation survey, explaining that they successfully attended the education sessions, but were pulled away afterward to serve families and help staff and thus were unable to follow up and network with their colleagues. That split attention had another consequence—no break from their regular duties. This is especially unfortunate at a time when our profession is working so hard, possibly harder than ever before. A Convention provides that intangible benefit—getting away to spend time with CANA friends and getting the opportunity to play as hard as you work. That may seem inappropriate during a global pandemic, but it is important for our physical and mental well-being.

In a virtual meeting, networking is a bit more difficult than simply walking up to an individual or a group and joining in the conversation. “Seeing” people on a virtual platform doesn’t have the immediacy of seeing their faces, but rather checking a participant list or patiently waiting for a response to a text. Just as you text first to arrange a Facetime conversation, the video chat on the platform worked much the same way.

Additionally, there was quite a bit of uncertainty as to the etiquette of a virtual convention. How should we behave? What comes across as pushy? I am confident we will get better at this with time.

This uncertainty often meant that attending the convention was, at least initially, a pretty isolated and individual experience. It took effort to find people and text chat or video chat. There was no walking into a giant room abuzz with voices and full of people.

Most in-person attendees are owners or managers and often come solo or bring one employee. It is expensive to attend and in-person event, and someone has to keep the business running. Conversely for the virtual event, some members registered several people from their staff so they could have a watch party at the office, enjoy the presentations and move through the exhibit hall together to give some conversation and camaraderie to the event. Others formed their groups online and kept the conversation alive in the chat functions and caught the competitive spirit with our passport game. The hook of cheap CE became a team-building opportunity.

CANA Supplier Members are a crucial factor as to WHY we hold our Convention. This event was our one big annual opportunity to connect exhibitors with attendees and showcase their products, services and solutions. A virtual convention supports our funeral home, cemetery, and crematory members sharing their challenges with professional colleagues, and our supplier members putting their solutions front-and-center.

In addition to apologizing for missing networking, many registrants apologized to exhibitors in the post-event evaluation survey for not visiting the trade show or for only visiting after hours. Some attendees chose to simply enjoy watching the pre-loaded video and downloading information from the booth page rather than interact more directly with exhibit staff. Even those who attended during staffed hours would not necessarily communicate through the booth text or video chat. The average booth attracted 150 visitors with maybe 5% entering the group video chat. That is completely opposite of an in-person trade show experience and entirely out of the exhibitors’ control.

The primary challenge faced by exhibitors was they couldn’t “see” visitors to their booth. Many had set up a table-top style booths with a video feed, expecting people to click on the group video chat link and enter their booth, but only a handful of attendees did so. The surveys showed that they either didn’t notice the link or weren’t sure what they would walk into. One survey respondent specifically requested a preview to see if they wanted to enter and who was in there, before committing to clicking on the link. If seeing is believing, no wonder exhibitors questioned whether the final tally of booth visitors CANA downloaded through the platform and forwarded to each of them was accurate.

Here too, the etiquette of a virtual exhibit booth was uncertain. Was it rude to click on a link unannounced and barge in? Why were some booths empty and while others were staffed?

Education is what CANA does well and is the easiest to translate to a virtual experience. CANA’s online Crematory Operations Certification Program (COCP) is wildly successful. CANA webinars are attracting crowds as well. But a convention is different. It is an event that people experience together, in one room, at an appointed time for several hours in what would otherwise be a busy workday. At least, that is what meeting planners believe and plan for accordingly, but many of our virtual meeting attendees and exhibitors were multi-tasking and not giving their full attention to the online content.

Fortunately, across the board, our presenters received rave reviews. We were very thoughtful and intentional about our selection of presenters – a virtual event is no time for a sage on a stage. A presenter needs to engage with the audience through polls, questions asked and answered in the chat, and the electric energy to keep an invisible audience focused on the content and away from their inboxes. Handouts and downloadable slidedecks are valuable, but the presentation itself needs to be the first priority.

CANA enjoyed the benefits of going first, in that attendees and exhibitors were curious about a virtual platform, forgiving of technical difficulties and offered grace to those learning the new technology.

We learned that not every element of an in-person convention translates to a virtual platform. For example, I decided to hold the membership meeting the week after the Convention, which meant we didn’t have a quorum and had to reschedule again and work harder to achieve the quorum we easily obtained during the convention. I won’t repeat that mistake.

It was heartening to see how every event participant learned to be the expert, then went on to help others. That could mean that they discovered something, then posted it to share with others. CANA is made up of caring people who want to support and help each other. We were all learning the platform even as we were teaching others. For the event, CANA Staff opened the Convention early to allow for some time to familiarize with the platform. That, in addition to live tech support by phone, email, one-on-one chat, Zoom, and Convention chat meant that we were able to answer questions and get people on their virtual feet quickly. And with CANA staff on the other end of the line, we were a friendly and familiar connection to our registrants.

Bottom line, the old adage “You get out of it what you put into it” is as true with a virtual event as in life. Whether through attention, technology, or preparation, we all can improve.

More virtual events – for certain. A number of state, provincial and national associations are offering their own virtual conventions and trade shows in Fall 2020. Will they be the same as in-person experiences? No. They will be great, but they won’t be the same. Virtual is an alternative, but not a replacement.

CANA is planning a Hybrid Symposium on February 10-11, 2021 in Las Vegas at The Linq Hotel and Casino. That means we’ll provide the opportunity to gather in-person for live sessions and Vegas fun, with portions of the program livestreamed for online participants. I am optimistically planning for a hybrid experience, because there has to be a path forward and CANA is excited to find it.

CANA is also planning another Game Night for members. You are working hard and deserve a break and prizes. In the meantime, we’ll continuing learning together and helping one another. So until we can safely meet again, I will see you via Zoom.