PHONE SHOPPING GONE WRONG

1/20/2021

A note before we begin: The assignment that this post references was completed before the coronavirus changed the way funeral homes and crematories could operate. However, students continue to complete this exercise each semester, and the responses do not change. As a result of the pandemic, CANA Members are much more dependent on phone and electronic communication to make successful arrangements and help their business succeed. The lessons learned from this assignment are still more relevant than ever.

CANA is a membership association. All of the work we do is in support of our members, and that includes talking to consumers. One of the key benefits of CANA members is their listing in our provider directory, a valuable resource for both trade calls and also the general public. Consumers call us for many reasons: They need help locating a CANA member in their area. They have an imminent death and don’t know what questions to ask the funeral home or crematory. They had a bad experience or there’s something that just doesn’t feel right, and they need someone else to gut check them.

But consumers also call CANA asking how they can avoid using a funeral director. They often tell us they want a direct cremation because they think this the way they can bypass using a funeral home. Now, we know this is not the only reason for choosing direct cremation, but it is definitely a factor for many. If you’re confused as to why consumers have this desire to “stick it to the man,” as some tell us, and steer clear of “the funeral director,” let me share a story that will shed some light on this issue.

the assignment

I teach the Cremation Principles & Practices course for Worsham College’s online program. While there are many key ideas we try to impress on these future funeral directors, our focus in this blog post is how we teach them that customer service matters.
The assignment is to pretend to be a consumer and phone shop at least three funeral homes for cremation services. They are instructed to ask three questions:

the cost for cremation;
if the funeral home has a crematory on site; and
1. if the crematory was on-site they are also to ask if they can see it, and
2. if it isn’t on site then they were to ask where and by whom the cremations are actually conducted
would the funeral home send a picture of where the family could conduct a witnessed cremation.

All of the funeral homes contacted as part of this first assignment were in Illinois.
These seem like pretty straightforward questions, right? Well, for my first class in Spring 2019 this was a very painful exercise for these students, and the students in the courses since then have experienced the same thing. They think they are entering a profession where everyone cares as passionately as they do about helping families through a very traumatic event with compassion and respect. What they learned was that yes, in a lot of cases, this is true. There are some really great funeral homes and crematories out there who are compassionate, honest and welcoming. But they also learned that there are some businesses who are not, and many of the students ended up feeling anger, hurt and shock, as well as a determination to do things differently when it’s their turn.

Below, I’ll share quotes from some of the students’ assignments. This post is much longer than usual entries in The Cremation Logs because we wanted to show you the details of this feedback. There were plenty of wonderful funeral homes who treated the students with respect and answered all their questions. But there were equally as many who did not, and that is what is concerning. To keep this blog to a reasonable length, we are only focusing on the negative experiences for purposes of education and continuous improvement. Responses are organized by the questions students were assigned to ask. Please keep in mind that the people answering the phone had no idea they were speaking to students — i.e., future colleagues. They thought they were talking to consumers. Which makes some of these responses all the more horrifying.

It is also important to note that none of this feedback was provided to the funeral homes called by the students, and no action was taken in regards to the violations we’ll discuss. This was an educational opportunity, not a scheme to catch any bad actors.

"What is the cost for cremation?"

Here are some of the students’ stories related to the question of the price for a cremation.

The “best” thing I was told during my research was that I should be careful when price checking on the internet. I was told, and I swear on my grandmother's soul this is not a lie, that "You can find cheaper prices that sound too good to be true. You need to be careful because those are guys that just do it out of the back of their cars. There are guys who drive around and literally do it out of the back of their cars."
They mentioned that there was no exact price range for the cremation given they usually based the price off of their service packages.
Several of the funeral home staff wanted my full contact information and purchasing timeline before quoting me prices for their services.
I was asked for my name, my telephone number, my funeral service needs, and informed that prices and services were not typically discussed over the telephone. I found several of the funeral home representatives somewhat cold in their personal demeanor and I felt that I was disturbing them.
I was referred to the website by three of the businesses. They said that the website detailed the process and if I had more questions I could call back and they would take my information and have a consultant speak with me.
One seemed annoyed that I was asking questions about pricing. They do not list it on their website nor like to go over it on the phone.

Wow. Just, wow. Can you identify the mistakes these funeral directors made? First, let’s be clear that the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) says “You must give consumers who telephone your place of business and ask about your prices or offerings accurate information from your General Price List, Casket Price List, and Outer Burial Container Price list.” They also include a note that “You cannot require callers to give their names, addresses, or phone numbers before you give them the requested information. You can ask callers to identify themselves, but you still must answer their questions even if they refuse to do so. You cannot require consumers to come to the funeral home in person to get price information.” In an opinion letter dated March 18, 2009, the FTC also says that “It is a violation of the Funeral Rule for a funeral provider to refuse to provide price information by telephone upon request to any person for any reason.” Clearly, we see evidence of several violations of the Funeral Rule in the examples above.

In the same opinion letter from 2009, the FTC explains that one of the Rule’s primary goals is to allow for comparison shopping. Make no mistake, if a consumer calls you and you refuse to give them price information over the phone, they will call someone else. And the person they choose will be the business that was transparent and gave them the information they asked for; they will not come and see you just to get pricing.

Finally, let’s address the situation where the student was directed to the website by three firms, with instructions to call back if there were additional questions. The person called you for a reason. Maybe they don’t have a computer; maybe they need to make a quick decision and don’t have time to search the website for pricing information and decipher the packages available; or, maybe they just prefer to talk to someone. Pushing them off to the website is not the right approach. They will not call you back. They’ll call someone else who will talk to them. And remember, this would be considered a violation of the Funeral Rule. Answer their price questions, and then invite them to visit your website or your location for more information.

"Do you have a crematory on-site?"

Responses to the next question surprised the students. Some of them had assumed that if a business has the word “cremation” or “crematory” in its name, they have a crematory on site. I bet many consumers make the same assumption and believe that their loved one never leaves your building until they pick up the cremated remains.

Here’s what the students reported from the question about whether the crematory was on-site and if they could see a picture, or who provided the cremation service if there was no crematory on-site.

The business would not give me the location of the crematory used.
I was told that they don’t give out that information.
The crematory is on-site and a viewing is possible but “most families do not want to do that.”
Only one of the four I called would disclose where the crematory was located.
When I asked if I could see the on-site crematory, he paused for about five seconds and then asked me why I would want to see it.
When I asked where the cremations take place the conversation got weird — he said he uses a place in Wisconsin but he always uses lots of other places. It depends on the case.
Any funeral home that cannot tell me where they will be taking my loved one to be cremated is not a place I would want to give my business to.

Why the secrecy? It’s exactly this kind of behavior that causes consumers to mistrust funeral directors. And with the high level of mistrust that exists right now, consumers want to know they are getting their loved one’s remains back, so they are asking questions and doing their research. The best way to assure them they can trust you is to be transparent. If you use a third-party crematory, there should be no fear that the consumer is going to go directly to them. They can’t. They simply want to know what’s going to happen to their loved one. So be ready to explain your chain of custody procedures to families, and, if that includes using a third-party crematory, then be ready to explain what procedures are followed to make sure they are getting their loved one back.

“CAN YOU SEND A PHOTO OF THE WITNESS AREA?”

The students were also instructed to ask if they could see a picture, or visit in-person, the area where a family would witness a cremation. Here are some of the things the students reported about the firms they called:

They do not offer witnessing or visitation. They answered very briskly that they will accept a body, cremate it, and return it in three days’ time. There is no further offer to allow for the family to connect to the cremation, just a simple “What else?”
When I asked for pictures of the witnessing areas, I was simply told "No."
I am glad I am not the only one who got laughed at when I asked for a picture. It was amazing how some people who are in a profession to be there to help families during the hardest moments are super rude. If a funeral director laughed at my questions then I would be crossing them off of my list.
I was told by one firm that it is against the law for the cremation to be watched by the public.
I was told “We don’t give out that information.”
One firm said witnessing is “not preferred, but we can make it work if the family wishes.”
I was told they were not willing to offer a witnessed cremation.
I learned that it’s very hard to be part of a cremation in this town. It’s almost frowned upon. I felt like when I was asking they wanted to know why I wanted to be there. Like, there’s a place for me and it’s not at the crematory.

I’ll start by dispensing with the one statement that was a complete lie: It is NOT against Illinois law for the cremation to be watched by the public. If the family wants to participate, there is no law or regulation prohibiting it. Now, a company may have a policy that they don’t allow it. That is a business decision. But don’t lie to the consumer. If you don’t offer it, just say so.

Now, on to the bigger issue. It’s entirely possible that these firms have crematories on-site, but don’t have the space or the option to add a viewing area. We get it. But based on the answers provided during the phone calls, that doesn’t seem to be the case.

So, the question now is “Why not offer witnessing?” And if you do, why would you be reluctant to share that information over the phone? It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a crematory on-site. Many third-party crematories offer a witnessing area for their funeral home partners to bring families. As we mentioned in the previous section, families want to know what is going to happen to their loved one, and they want to make sure they are getting their loved one’s remains back. That is one of the biggest reasons why people choose to witness a cremation — peace of mind. And isn’t that one of your goals as a funeral director? To give families peace of mind during an emotional and sometimes very confusing time?

If a family wants to witness their loved one’s cremation, they will find a place that offers it. And they are willing to pay for that option. Families are willing to pay for a lot of things if they find value in it. If you aren’t making plans to incorporate witnessing into your offerings, please don’t ignore this growing trend.

General Customer service

Finally, I’d like to share some general customer service observations made by the students during this assignment. Most of them speak for themselves.

As for firm A, it seems that they had much the same reaction to questions that I had with most of the funeral homes that I contacted. They were evasive and difficult, and above all seemed not to care whatsoever about the person they are supposed to be helping. There was simply no heart in it, which is rather disheartening. The attitude towards people who are currently at their lowest and weighed down by grief is frankly disgusting, and people who behave in such a way have no place in caring for those in need.
Most of the representatives seemed to brush off my questions and want to finish as soon as possible. While I can understand having other work to attend to, it felt quite rude and unwelcoming.
Overall, I think that it was a lot harder to find a funeral service provider that was available to answer my questions, within a reasonable distance from me, and that sounded friendly enough to meet with. I would be very frustrated if I was a customer looking for a provider after a loss. Out of all the places I called, there were only two that took the time to listen to my questions and seemed patient enough to answer.
The women on the phone at one firm became incredibly rude and stated my questions were strange. After I had asked my questions her voice became rude again and asked her own questions. When I informed her I was simply calling around per my family she told me "call me back when you have more information" and hung up on me. I was shocked at her demeanor. What if I was grieving client and was not in the right mind? Of course, I wouldn't have those answers. This just proved that as Funeral Directors we should be kind and compassionate with clients.
Even though I stated an interest in cremation, they were over-stressing traditional embalming and funeral services. As soon as they answered my question about price they launched into a sales pitch for traditional embalming and visitation followed by a traditional burial in the cemetery because it would help my loved ones’ gain more closure and peace of mind.
One asked me why I was not interested in embalming and burial and only interested in cremation.

As I mentioned in the beginning, this was a painful lesson for both the students and for me. I was angry on behalf of my students, many of whom were treated horribly. But I was also angry on behalf of consumers. These funeral homes believed they were speaking to consumers. Yet they lied, were rude, broke rules and generally did not represent the profession well at all.

It is not our place to judge why someone wants what they want, nor convince them they want or need something different. This is exactly why consumers want to “avoid the funeral director” — they do not want to be sold on something they don’t want. That’s why online funeral arrangements are growing in popularity. You pick out exactly what you want, and no one is on the other end trying to convince you to get something else.

I will also reiterate that we know of so many amazing providers who do represent the profession well through their unending compassion and willingness to get to “yes” and give consumers what they want. All of the CANA staff have been on the receiving end of that compassion as we’ve engaged their help in dealing with our own family deaths. I can only hope that these are the providers consumers call, and we eliminate the poor practices represented in this post.

Think this couldn’t happen in your firm? Think again. These are rural, suburban and urban firms, in the towns where the students live. Some of these firms were CANA members. The common thread among them was a bias against cremation. Even if you provide regular staff training on how to respond to phone inquiries, it’s still important to “inspect what you expect.” Engage a family member or friend to phone shop your own company and see how your employees are responding when you aren’t around. If your staff doesn’t provide information in the manner you prefer, and you decide remedial training would be a good idea, CANA offers an online Cremation Phone Shoppers course that reviews all the best practices and gives tips on how to respond to different questions.

CANA's Cremation Phone Shoppers course helps you make your best first impression when your only resources are your voice and your time. Available online, on-demand, on your device, and at your pace with CE from The Academy of Professional Funeral Service Practice.

And coming soon to CANA’s Online Education catalog, Complying with the FTC Funeral Rule clarifies the responsibilities that funeral homes, cemeteries, and crematories have in serving their communities. Learn more: goCANA.org/eduonline

Want to learn more about witness areas and viewing rooms? CANA Members should check out “Welcome to the Viewing Room” from Vol. 55, No. 3 of The Cremationist. The article is filled with stories from CANA Members on how they turned what is often an industrial-looking room into a bit of comfort and solace for the cremation families they serve. Each one features photos of these rooms and ideas on how they talk to families about the witness area and the peace of mind it can offer.

Jennifer Werthman is Education Director of the Cremation Association of North America (CANA) and adjunct faculty for Worsham College of Mortuary Science teaching FSE 109 - Cremation Principles and Practice.